Waking
by Kosma Bandra
Summary: Amy Rose has been rejected...by everyone she's ever loved. Which makes returning back home after law school very hellish. But Amy has bigger problems to deal with. Like ending her dry spell. Battling her conflicting emotions about Shadow. And of course, finding out where the hell is Scourge. It's time to wake up. The compelling conclusion to the Sleeping Series. Complete!
1. Chapter 1

Hello, friends!

It very exciting and humbling to finally be finishing what I started. I think it all turned out pretty well, and I think you all will too. So for waiting all of these years, I give you EIGHT CHAPTERS, AHHH!

Ok, so technically there are only three new chapters. I revised the first five chapters for grammar/flow (although knowing me I probably missed some things, so please don't judge me), but only chapter 6-8 will be new material. I should be updating every few days or at least every Wednesday with about 2 chapters at a time hopefully. The finished story has about 30 chapters, but the chapters themselves are shorter than the ones I had in Sleeping and Dozing. Not to mention, the story is also divided into two parts.

Although the story is technically finished, I'm still looking for your insight. I encourage you are to offer your critiques and criticisms. As much as I love your words of encouragement, expressing your concerns is really essential. I know that there are quite a few ways that this story could have gone, so I really want to hear your thoughts! Also, since I'll be updating this first set of chapters in bulk, this will probably be the only author's note for the next eight chapters. I mean, you waited two years, and I probably should have stopped distracting you a paragraph ago. So get at it!

Disclaimer: Sega and their characters do not belong to me. There.

Go!

* * *

PART I: THE END

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Because I was the champion of poor choices, sometime after graduating law school and landing a new job, I had failed to pay attention to one important detail. Like where the job was.

"Aren't you excited to come back to your hometown?" my friend Clarissa asked me, nudging my shoulder. She sunk into the airplane chair, beaming. "I still can't believe we're done with law school..."

I gave her a small smile, suppressing my distress. I still couldn't believe that I let her talk me into taking it. Maybe if we weren't heading back home—back to the town that I had abandoned years ago, filled with friends that would probably spit in my face if I referred to them as such—I could be half excited. But instead I was completely overwhelmed.

"Amy..." The ash-furred bobcat gave me a bemused look—matching the one I was trying to hide. "What's wrong now?" My eyes left the window. My thoughts scattered like the clouds next to us. "Hmm? Oh, nothing."

"We're lawyers, Amy." She lifted her brows before granting me a smug, bitch-you-can't-fool-me smirk. "You'll have to do _a lot_ better if you want to lie to me."

"I shouldn't have come back, Clarissa." I gulped down my unease, feeling my ears pop. I shook my head. "I mean, the pay is good, but it's not like I need it—"

"Well, some of us who aren't ex-heros actually have to work for a living." Clarissa replied, swirling her cosmopolitan in her glass. "F.F. Corp flew us here first class. So cheer up, would ya?" She downed the rest of her beverage before extending an arm out to a flight attendant. "Hey, where are my complementary peanuts?"

I took a sip from my wine; the cool liquid unable to freeze over my mind and kill me. My stint at University of Mercia—Law was over. I had survived the Bar. I had gotten a job at a fancy, private law firm. Life was supposed to be perfect. Just not for me.

My eyes flickered over to Clarissa. I knew better than to sigh at her passiveness—she'd just pick up on it and try to give me another pep talk. I wish I could be as lax as her about the near future, all chomping away on free-snacks without a damn, but returning was like ripping a Band-Aid off a gaping wound. I clenched my fists over my knees, hoping it would release my tension. But it intensified._ Three_ years_. _Why hadn't I healed already?

"You know," Clarissa said between chews, "I think this'll be sort of cool. Clarissa and Amy on a new adventure. As if law school wasn't crazy enough."

Oddly, it wasn't as crazy as my home life. It was straightforward: doing homework and research. Volunteering. Not pissing off my professors. Law school was a relatively painless, sobering experience.

_ This?_

Now that I was returning—my stomach sank like the plane beginning to descend to a landing position—it felt like I was relapsing. I took another swig of the alcohol. Clarissa said I needed it to get off or on the edge or something. Hissing, I set the drink aside, closing my eyes. But I really wanted to close my thoughts on the matter.

Thoughts. Words. If I could just stop being affected, maybe reality wouldn't seem so scary. But I was flying back down to it; I would be back home in a matter of minutes. The thought should have been thrilling; I really wanted it to be. But it wasn't like this was one big—

"It's like a homecoming!" Clarissa said with a clap, her voice up an octave. "To think I'll actually get to meet your friends. You guys will always be legendary to me." She smirked, but it was more innocent than devious, like a child excited to see a mall Santa.

"If they're even still my friends..." I said in a mumble, slouching further into the stiff chair. Even an idiot knew that chaos would break loose. Missed weddings. Missed baby showers. Lost communications. I tried my best to be there when I thought the fire had died down a couple years ago, but I could always sense the hostility, even over the phone. I knew that I could never repair the fabric that I had ripped apart, but that didn't mean that I did it intentionally.

And maybe they knew that too, but they had a horrible way of showing it.

Clarissa's hazel eyes broadened. "You seriously think they're _still_ mad at you? Any real friends would welcome you with open arms," she said, before pausing. "Well, even if they _didn't_ want to. But it's still the right thing to do."

"_The right thing to do_?" I mocked her before scoffing. "If my friends had even a shred of righteousness, they wouldn't have practically exiled me."

Clarissa's eyes narrowed at my words. I shook my head before saying, "No, I don't mean that you're my default friend or anything—"

"Too late," she said, pretending to sniffle. "I knew you just wanted me for my body."

This earned another scoff from me. "Whatever. You came onto me first."

The bobcat's mouth widened before she shrugged her shoulders. "What? I thought I was a lesbian and pink just so happens to be one of my favorite colors." She puckered her lips at me and I broke down in a laugh.

Funny thing was that she made me wonder if it was best to swear off men all together. Sonic. Scourge. Parker. Shadow. My heart plummeted. What they had done to me…What I had done to them… No wonder I felt so sick.

"So," Clarissa began, probably picking up on my somber vibes. "What's your goal?"

I blinked at her. "What do you mean?"

She pursed her lips again at my ignorance. "The jaded girl returns back home after a thousand years," she said, using her hands to draw out my dramatic situation. "Does she search for love, happiness, or herself?"

"I already found myself," I said, moving her arms away from me. "I'm a lawyer. I'm a grown-ass woman. Why don't you ask the world to search for someone else to bother?"

"Oh...someone's bitter..." Clarissa teased, her mouth forming into an O. I rolled my eyes at the feline. Of course I was bitter. But was it bad that I didn't completely know why?

"I'm not bitter," I lied, turning my gaze to the window. _Just confused. _But that was nothing new.

"Sure you aren't," she said, shaking her head. Before I could reject anymore of her claims, the pilot announced that we had landed. A sigh left my lips. Smooth landing. This was probably the only smooth thing that would ever come from returning here.

Because as we exited off the plane and walked down the jet way, my past emerged before I could even think about turning the other way.


	2. Chapter 2

** Chapter 2**

Carrying a poster that read, WELCOME AMES AND FRIEND PERSON, Sonic the Hedgehog met up with me for the first time in three years.

"You can cut the theatrics," I said, a smile tugging at my lips.

"Alright," Sonic offered me lop-sided grin. He pulled me into a hug. It was weird, but familiar. I had forgotten the ease that came from a friend's embrace. We released after a while, stared at each other for a while.

"Long time no see," he said, studying me. "You look great."

"Same to you."

He really did look the same, truthfully. Though a few tired creases tugged at the corner of his eyes. Probably from parenthood. The fact hit me like a boulder. Sonic. A parent_._ _A father. _

Fuck.

"How are the twins?" I then asked.

"Chase and Sawyer are walking now," he said proudly. "Think they'll start running soon."

"Hopefully not faster than their old man," I said, letting myself laugh.

"Hey," Sonic warned, but his emerald eyes were gleaming. "They better."

"That's good."

I sniffed in the over-sanitized airport air, forcing myself to feel okay. I didn't want our first encounter in so long to be awkward...But it sort of was. Sonic had insisted on taking Clarissa and me back into the town (after somehow finding out I was returning). So I didn't know if this was a friendly gesture or a ride to our doom.

I spun around, almost forgetting about the bobcat. "Um, this is my friend Clarissa." I patted her shoulder, leading her forward. "We attended law school together."

"_Hi_..." And this was when Clarissa lost her cool. She was wide eyed, practically drooling at the sight of him. I rolled my own eyes.

"It's just Sonic—"

"I know," she said sharply, recovering from whatever was suppressing her brain. She nodded in his direction, shaking his hand before he could offer it. "Clarissa the Bobcat, it's an honor to meet you."

Sonic grinned wider. "Nice to meet you. Any friend of Ames is a friend of mine."

"_Really_?"

"Anyway, let's get out of here," I said, drawing my suitcase behind me. It's not like I wanted to draw this reunion to a close so quickly, it was just my unwarranted eagerness. After all, I was safe in this airport. Once we were out in the city, I knew I was in store for far more unpleasant encounters.

"Hold your horses," Sonic said, taking my suitcase from me. When I blinked he was facing me, his eyes surveying mine. "I can see the tension in your eyes. It's practically radiating off you."

"It's nothing," I assured him, turning away. "It's just weird being back."

Sonic shook his head. "It's only weird if you make it that way. Everyone's missed you."

The urge to scoff traveled up my throat, but I caught it in my mouth. "You don't know that," I said instead. "I wouldn't miss me."

Sonic's brow narrowed before he sighed. "Stop being so hard on yourself." His voice was low, but serious and cautious in a way I didn't remember him being. I guess everyone really did mature. "I don't know what happened before you left, but it's done and over with. Hell, it's been done and over with for _years _now. No one's upset. And if anyone still is, then they're the ones with the problem, okay?"

I closed my eyes, considering his words. But I couldn't bring myself to believe them. "But—"

A cough stunted my response. I turned to my left, watched Clarissa utter another one of those I-still-exist-and-I-can't-stand-being-neglected-for-more-than-two-minutes coughs. Her eyes touched mine before she turned to the baggage claim.

Sucking in a hiss, I nodded at Sonic with something of a forced smile. "Thanks. And you're right." I paused. "This one time."

The blue hedgehog laughed. "Well, I've gotten smarter with age. I can only hope you have too."

"Well, you can stop your hoping, because I did," I assured him, nudging his shoulder. "Right, Clarissa?"

"You're headed toward the ENTER door," she said, pulling me to the glass exit. "And sure, if you say so."

I was trying to know so.

* * *

Sonic had upgraded. Or at least, gotten a nicer, toddler-proof car that he actually knew how to drive. Since Confident Clarissa was apparently too shy to claim shotgun, I had taken the passenger seat. Which meant that I had taken to being the center of attention.

"So how was _law school_?" Sonic asked, his voice in a smirk. "You must think you're a fancy as fuck, don't you?"

"Said the spokesperson for practically every athletic label on Mobius," I snorted. "What do they pay you anyway, five million mobiums?"

"Try fifty." Clarissa said, rather matter-of-factly. "And that doesn't even include commission."

"You really know your stuff," Sonic said, making a turn. "I'm also an ambassador for global relations. But we're not here to brag about me."

"Then why does it feel like it?" I said, smiling. The fact was that as long as we weren't talking about the others, even bricks would make an interesting topic for discussion.

Sonic shook his head. "You're probably eager to know how everything's turned out. Sadly not much has changed."

I nodded, letting my glance fall to the window. Same trees. Same boring blur of people. Only difference now was that it was nearing December, so there were less people. Frost-coated trees.

The outskirts of the airport blended into the main city, and I held my breath. Holiday time definitely was full throttle—it wasn't even evening and a slew of small business wore their Christmas lights. I squinted my eyes, watched some workers assemble a large tree in the city square. The windows were drawn up, but I could swear that I could hear them laughing. I turned toward Sonic.

"How's the rest of the gang?" I bit the inside of my cheeks—the only way I would get relief was if I attacked this head on. Even if it would kill me. Just like Sonic's lack of response was.

"They're fine," Sonic said after a while, scratching his head. "Sally's just about as busy with the twins as I am, but she owns a fitness center now. Rouge and Knux are the proud parents to two sassy little girls, though I think Rouge is pregnant again—she's nicer when she's pregnant.

"Blaze and Silver _are _pregnant, and Cream spends most of her spare time jealous that she isn't pregnant while working on her Ph.D in mechanical engineering in Tails lab. Think he'll pop the question any day now. Thorough enough?"

"Plenty," I said, not knowing what to do with this information. I mean, I knew most of it—I wasn't _that _out of touch, and I think he just wanted clue in Clarissa. Sonic was my information middleman; but it was news to me that Blaze was pregnant. She didn't tell me much (if anything) anymore, so I didn't know why this fact tugged at me.

But then I realized it wasn't her—but something Sonic forgot to mention. Or someone.

"How's—"

"Parker?" Sonic guessed, stopping at the light. "Pretty well, he actually delivered the twins. He asks about you whenever I see him."

"Really?" but it wasn't me who responded to this. Clarissa batted her eyes at me. "Looks like Amy has an admirer."

"_Had _an admirer," I replied, shaking my head. "No, that's making it out to seem more scandalous than it actually was. We just went on a date once."

"Tsk, tsk, Amelia," the bobcat shook her head in turn. "Keeping boy secrets from me? I thought we were besties."

"I wouldn't call it 'keeping secrets' so much as not telling the unasked truth." I allowed myself to grin. "There's a difference, you know."

Clarissa grunted. "We're not in a courtroom—you can cut it with the technicalities."

"Speaking of the courtroom, F.F Corp is up ahead." Sonic said. I glanced out of the window, watching the law headquarters for F.F CORPORATION grow in size. Very huge size. Each building had at least three stories, each dawned with reflective windows that I feared would blind and bake you if you stood to close. Yet, I couldn't help but feel a rush of accomplishment as we zoomed pass it.

"Pretty huge," said Sonic, smirking. "Can't believe my little Ames has made it to the big leagues. Guess I can expect you to read through my contracts, right?"

"Only if I get half of your income."

"You drive a tough bargain..." Sonic said, rubbing his chin. "But no."

"Drats," I said, snapping my fingers. Peering out of the window again, I could see our destination come into view. "Looks like we're home."

Like most of the town, my apartment complex had stayed the same. A HAVE A HAPPY RE-NEW YEAR AT MABLE PLACE promotional banner was the only thing that differed. That and the new car in my parking space. A maroon crossover car. Next to it was a pale green SUV, belonging to Clarissa. So there were some changes.

Sonic parked in front of the main complex. He exited the car in a flash, strolling the suitcases behind him. But he clenched his teeth in the cold air, as if being the fastest thing alive didn't cause him to produce more body heat of something.

"Any day now, ladies," he said. I rolled my eyes, starting for the entrance.

"_Hold your horses_," I mocked him from earlier. But he was right—it was cold as hell out here, but Clarissa seemed too busy taking everything in. Funny, because she usually was the sharper one. When she woke from her daze, she started on without us.

"This place is so beautiful! I still can't believe you went to school in Mercia. There's _nothing_ there."

I didn't have to turn to know that Sonic's glance was burning against my form. "I can't believe you went to school there either," he said. Though his tone was without spite or anything really, I couldn't help but feel defensive. But I suppressed this feeling too.

"Hey, I just went to the better school," I said with a shrug as we entered the elevator. "And if I stayed here, I wouldn't have meet you. So I consider it a win-win."

The elevator door opened before the discussion could go further. Which was good, because it only reminded me that no matter how much everyone said things were "fine" or "good" or "not that horrible" they weren't. Apparently, I had hurt everyone more than they had hurt me.

"This place is huge!" Clarissa called out to us in the hallway. What the? The woman was swift, so swift that I could only imagine that was why she kicked my ass in Criminology. Last I checked I was the one with the keys...

Offering the blue hedgehog a forced smile, I walked forward. I left my old apartment behind me—upgraded like the rest of them had. Okay, so maybe purchasing the penthouse suite was a flashy move, but it was the only thing that could accommodate me and a roommate. And Mable Place was the closest proximity to work. So, yeah, I'd like to think I made good (ok, _expensive_) decisions.

The space was mostly decorated, spare a few move-in boxes. The walls were a warm tan; the sofa was a plush burgundy. Some abstract paintings (Clarissa's doing) hung on the walls, and all of the stainless steel appliances had been put in. The place wasn't screaming with character, but that would change. I was here, after all.

Vibrant and trying not to be confused.

"Well, it has been great getting to see you two," Sonic said, pulling me into a light hug then Clarissa. She squealed. "You're probably tired and want to get ready for work tomorrow. I'll treat you guys to dinner sometime." He offered me a serious look. "Sally's more eager to see you than you might think. So are the others."

"Do they even know that I'm here?" I asked, almost feeling foolish with this whole ordeal. I was coming home after years. But it felt more like I was sneaking back in than being welcomed.

"Don't know," Sonic considered, his gaze falling to the kitchen. "But they will soon if they don't already. Just brace yourself."

Easier said than done.

But I nodded anyway. At least he was still my friend.

"Sorry I couldn't do more, but I gotta jet," Sonic informed us. "Twins throwing things, some endorsement deals I need to look into..." he sighed. "Welcome to the real world."

With a wave he was out of the door, and probably out of my life. And then there were two.

"Can you believe Sonic the Hedgehog _touched _me?" she squealed again before probably realizing how absurd she was being. She coughed, diffusing her giddy energy. "Screw packing, I manna go out."

"Where?" Immediately a feeling of exhaustion and panic washed over me. It wasn't up to five, but the days had gotten shorter. Nightfall would be coming soon, and I wanted to be out like a light with it.

"That place we passed by with the lights. What was it called, Merriment Plaza?"

_ Merriment Plaza._ I didn't know what to make of the place anymore.

But I was cut off before I could make a decision. Clarissa led (or dragged) me to the door, jiggling her keys in her free hand.

"You need some holiday cheer," she informed me, pushing me into the passenger seat. "I mean, really. The un-depressed Amy I know would have fought tooth and nail _not_ to go out if she didn't want to." She turned on the ignition. "I might as well have been some sexual predator offering you candy in my van."

"Well, _do_ you have candy?" I asked, feeling my stomach grumble.

Clarissa's face spoiled. "You need help." A smirk then destroyed any evidence of distress on her lips. "Good thing you have me."

More like I_ only _had had her. But I was trying not to be pessimistic.

* * *

I didn't see the point in drinking coffee at six at night.

Granted, the temperature seemed to fall twenty degrees every minute the sun was fading...But I found myself feeling more anxious as usual. Like the time our Court Relations professor told us our mock murder trial was real.

Taking lazy sips from a raspberry mocha at stressed, I viewed the sight around us. The one waiter I liked (we were in stressed) had upgraded too, and apparently was the owner of the three local chains or something. I sighed, pushing away the beverage. Why did everyone else have it figured out?  
I was fine. I was here. I knew that life changed—I had changed.

But I couldn't put a finger on what was actually bothering me. I was borderline excited to come here, now everything, even the walls were pissing me off—

"You gonna smile anytime soon?" Clarissa asked, biting the head off a gingerbread cookie. She washed it down with her latte. "Your life is really nice. Don't push your friends away."

"Like I said, you're my only real friend." I tapped my fingertips on the counter. "But honestly, I would prefer—"

"Prefer what?" Her hazel eyes narrowed. "You're not like this Amy. Please don't tell me that just _being_ here is making you a total pain in the ass." I wrinkled my nose at her bluntness. "If so, we're gonna have to look for a new job."

"Hey, I like our job," I said. "It may be the only thing I have to look forward to."

"So you're a career woman now?" Clarissa shook her head. "Next thing you'll be working on Christmas."

"I'm only twenty-seven." I replied. "And if I find work more interesting, then why not?"

Clarissa gasped. "More interesting than _me_? Why I _never_."

"We have to be up at six," I said, rising from my seat. "You know how those corporate law firms are about punctuality."

More like, you know how sleep is the only thing helps me escape reality. I bit my lip. I had to cut it with all this self-pity.

"Whatever," she said, dusting off her skirt. "But I want to look around a bit. My older brother used to take me out to see the holiday lights."

"_Fine_," I said, feeling like an adult giving into a child's request. "How's your brother?"

"Chris?" Clarissa said, exiting the building. I gritted my teeth at the cold. "He's okay. Still in jail though." Her tone matched the pained expression she was trying to hide.

I nodded, following her out into the plaza. But I felt like an inconsiderate jerk. Here I was, complaining about practically nothing when she had real problems.

Law school for her was a means to bring justice to a wrongly convicted brother. Law school for me was mostly just a way to channel my overbearing nature, to escape the people that had already let me go.

Clarissa's mood improved as we passed a few well-lit boutiques, and when I agreed that Sonic would follow through with his dinner offer. She spoke about a lot of random things, like if we'd like our jobs, how much she wanted to meet the others—but I took her words in bits and pieces. It was too cold to think. Too crowded (yes, even on a Sunday evening) to listen.

"Hot guy alert," Clarissa then said, nudging my shoulder. "Maybe we should go talk to him. And by _we_ I mean _me_." She brushed a hand through her fur to smooth it, pursed her lips in an invisible mirror.

"Who?" I asked, peering through the crowd. But it took about five seconds for _hot guy_ to materialize into view. And my heart nearly burst at the sight when he did.

It was Shadow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

I pulled Clarissa into an alley before he could see us.

"Don't you know who that is?" I said, my voice two worlds above a yell.

"Um, yeah?" Clarissa responded. "My soon-to-be husband."

I rolled my eyes at her. "Try Shadow the Hedgehog, you idiot."

"Hey, I never asked to be in this abusive relationship," she said, rubbing her arm. "And I—" she stopped, peered into the crowd,"—Wow, that _is_ Shadow the Hedgehog." With her confirmation, I started beating my head against the brick wall. "What's wrong _now_, Amy?" Clarissa said, crossing her arms. "He hates you too? Another member of the Bitter Against Amy Brigade?"

I shrugged my shoulders in a pathetic slump. "I don't know."

He told me to go. That we were—_we would have been_—a mistake. I let my gaze travel back to the street. Shadow was carrying a small package. His green scarf flailed in the wind, and although his cold breath could be seen, he didn't seem affected by the temperature. His eyes of fire merely burned ahead.

"I can't believe you never told me you were with him!" Clarissa then exclaimed. I clamped a hand over her mouth, warning her with a glare.

"Who said I was with him?" I lied, or didn't lie. I mean, I didn't think that a daylong relationship really counted. It was shorter than my tryst with Scourge. Wherever he was.

Clarissa rolled her eyes. "You have pink fur, yet I can still tell you're blushing." Her grin then grew devious. "Did you do the deed? He looks great in the—"

"No!" I said, shaking my head rapidly. I peered back into the crowd. But the onyx hedgehog had disappeared. And because I was confused as hell, I didn't know whether to find relief or disappointment in this fact. "I mean, we might have gone out had I not been accepted to UMerc on such short notice."

Clarissa's eyes widened. "You let _him _go?"

I pressed my eyes close, breathed out a sigh. "Technically, he let me go. I would have stayed if he wanted me to."

"So he didn't want you to stay?" Clarissa asked, her brow furrowing.

"It's more complicated than that."

"No it's not," Clarissa said, leaning against the wall. She looked up to the sky, contemplating this. "Do you want to be with him?"

"..."

"Do you want him to rock your sheets?"

"..."

"Do you want to be with Scourge?"

I blinked at her too-blunt-to-be-serious question. But she wasn't smiling, or flinching. With a groan, my arms fell to my side in an exaggerated clap. "I guess not."

"Then it's settled," she said, clasping her hands. "We're getting you Shadow."

"But I—"

"_Look_, Amy. You have a soon to be stable career and a penthouse apartment. All you need now is the guy," she assured me, like it was as easy as soup needing water.

"It's not that—"

"Easy? Law school isn't easy," Clarissa said, emerging from the alley. The crowd had died down, but I could only attribute that to the hour. "This is just match-making. And although Shadow's a sexy as hell bad-ass, he's still a dude. They're not that hard to crack."

"But he's different."

Clarissa smirked wider. "That just means we'll have to work smarter."

* * *

We weren't home for an hour when Clarissa presented me with a casebook on stalking Shadow without it seeming like we would be stalking Shadow.

"Obviously I'll contact Sonic and ask where he usually takes to," she said, flipping the surprisingly thick folder. She even had a picture of Shadow. "Did Sonic know about the two of you?"

"Um, no?" I said, scratching my quills. "I mean, the only one who wanted me to be with him was Rouge."

"Rouge the Bat?" Clarissa said. "I _adore_ her. I better get to meet her tomorrow."

I shrugged. "If I _live_ through tomorrow." Clarissa offered me a warning glare. But I didn't let it phase me. "What?" I said. "This whole thing is stupid. I didn't come here to get Shadow back. It's not like I had him in the first place."

"Why don't you want sexy things?" Clarissa asked, scooping the up the casebook and walking to her bedroom. "I'm single too, but that doesn't mean I passively accept it. So what if you see everyone one around you having lives? Go have one. You told me not to drop out of law school when I failed Dr. Bandicoot's final," she continued, pointing at me. "_You_ did."

"What are you talking about? You got the third best grade in the class."

"Third isn't good enough!"

"Okay, Miss Valedictorian," I said, rolling my eyes. "But I have a life. It's just that things haven't been going the way I expected them to—"

"Well, _duh," _she said, already halfway into her room. "We've been here for like seven hours! Everything's going to be fine. Just calm the fuck down. I'm going to research Shadow a little longer—establish a plan of attack." And with that she shut the door.

_ Plan of attack. _

I wandered out of the kitchen and into bed. The only thing I wanted to attack was my stupid feelings.

* * *

"Are you sure?" a voice asks me. I spin around, but I can't see anything. And the fact sort of ticked me off.

"Are you sure you can't show yourself?" I mock back, folding my arms. I don't know where I am—just that it's a bleak room. No furniture. No people. Just the faceless voice and me.

"Scourge?" He's always my dream-nightmare partner, so I figured why not start with him. There is no response; however, it feels like the room is shaking its head.

"You wish."

"No, I don't," I reply. But the quickness, the defensiveness of my remark probably sold out my former feelings. I think the voice knows this when he chuckles. And to my dismay, it's a pretty damn sexy chuckle.

"Enough of these games," I say, shaking away the burning sensation of my cheeks, my embarrassment and irritation on the matter. "Just show yourself. _Please_."

"My, that sounds like something I would say." There is a snap, then a hedgehog appearing before me. "Minus the please." He chuckles some more.

"Shadow?" I say, studying him. In the dim space I can make out eyes that were a swirl of orange and yellow, with the same color extending to his stripes. His fur seemed lighter too. "Why do you look so..."

"Bright?" he says, tilting my head up for me to look at him. "Because I'm Light."

"Light?" I say, wrinkling my nose. What the hell is this? I don't remember drinking before bed.

'They couldn't come up with a better name, I'm afraid." Light assures me, crossing his arms. But there is no aggression in his stance.

"Who are they?"

"Whoever decided for you to dream of an imaginary figment of Shadow. Well, an opposite figment."

I scratch my head, not quite following. "You mean to tell me that you're Shadow's opposite?"

"Figuratively. Since you are not Shadow, you wouldn't know how his true opposite would appear or act."

"Then why are you here?" I say with a sigh. All he had confirmed was that even my dreams were insane. "Can I wake up now?"

"That depends." I don't like the playful joviality in Shadow's—I mean, Light's—tone. "Are you fine with this?"

His eyes are gleaming like the sun; his smirk seemed innocent if not genuine.

"Hm..." I ponder, as if this is normal. "What does you being here have to say about the real Shadow?"

"As much as you want to make of it, I suppose," he says, shrugging. "I'm not the dream maker here."

"Then what good are you?" I ask, irritation beginning to spike through me. If my dreams couldn't even give me a clue to my reality, then this is pointless. Whatever this is.

Light's smirk widened. "I thought you'd never ask."

Before I could open my mouth, he snapped his fingers. The lighting changed, from flat out dim to a brighter, but still subdued hum. I blinked before my eyes focused on his.

"What the—" Lips press against mine. Light's hands pull me in closer by my waist. I want to fight it, but before I can actually register what's happening, or if this is even real, his lips travel to my neck. When he sucks in with a groan, my thoughts scatter.

He lifts me, returns to my lips again. An animalistic urgency takes over me and I find myself kissing back before he suckles on my lower lip, blinding me in bliss.

"Shadow," I moan, running my hands through his quills. He dumps me on something—a bed-before landing on top of me. He finds my neck again, trailing upward until he seizes me in another lip-lock.

"It just so happens." _Kiss._ "That isn't my name." _Kiss._

My eyes widen at this. It's a dream isn't it? But then why does it feel so real. Light presses down on me, swirling his tongue against mine, sucking on it hard.

A moan escapes me, I see him smirk through lidded eyes as his hands run through my sides, over my thighs. I feel myself getting excited, but I shouldn't be. This isn't real—

"For the love of Mobius," Light says, suckling my collarbone. His hand cups my breast and I can't help but moan again. "It's been almost four years. Just give in." He thumbs over my nipples, which grow erect, poking against the silk fabric. I bite my lip, shuddering at his touch. He chuckles at this, lowers my straps.

His glance meets mine. But it is more serious than lustful. "I can stop if you want me too." Light's eyes trail back to my chest. Another smirk lands on his lips. "But you don't want me to."

"I—" His lips press against mine again, cutting me off. The kiss is hot and blissful; his hands set me on fire. And I almost combust when his hand finds my core. My eyes roll over.

"_Oh my God_!"

"Oh my God! Will you _wake up, _Amy?" Hands clamped over my ankles, pulling me to the floor. "We have work today!"

My eyes snapped open for real this time. But I shut them almost immediately. The light of reality was blinding.

"I know," I said in a mumble, trying to force myself upright. But the sheets were _so _comfortable. And although that dream was beyond weird, I preferred my subconscious to this cold room. _I hate winter. _

But no more than my mind playing tricks on me. I mean, _Light_?

"You okay?" Clarissa asked, blinking at me worriedly. She was mostly dressed, spare her messy hair and the toothpaste lips. "I mean, usually you're the morning bird." She licked the sides of her mouth, clearing the paste. "And you were making noises."

"Noises?" I said, too restless to feel mortified.

"And kissy faces, and a little bit of dry humping."

Now I felt mortified. I rose to my feet, shaking my head. "You're just making up things."

She wasn't making up things.

Clarissa lifted a brow before shrugging her shoulders. "I get it. You saw your _man _after three years and now you have all this pent up sexual frustration," she said, nodding. "You need to get laid."

"You need to back off," I replied, walking to the bathroom. I was just about to get laid, even if it was just my perverted imagination.

"You think Shadow has been with anyone since?"

I nearly tripped on the tile. "Wait, what?" I stammered, hoping I misheard her. But then I wondered why this was such a big deal. I mean, I was the loser. I had taken Phil's advice and opted to focus on law school. So no life for me, right?

Recovering, I started wiping my face with a cloth. "Well, he's a grown man, and it's been almost four years. But he's almost painfully reclusive." I breathed out, forced myself to let go of the jealousy of Shadow possibly being with someone else. I started brushing my teeth. _But how could I be jealous in the first place? _I felt my heart drop as I rinsed my mouth, the water sliding off my tongue tasting like vomit.

_ I left him, remember?_

But what were we doing in the first place? It was a day. We were together for one day. Twenty-four hours. So why was I still worked up about it? We weren't even unresolved. We said our goodbyes and—

"Ames, we're a little pressed for time!" I couldn't see her behind the closed door, but I could tell that she was tapping at her watch, counting down. I rolled my eyes. If she had woken me up from that dream earlier I wouldn't be late AND bent out of shape over Shadow.

I tried to relax in the slightly agitated air. It was just a dream. I mean, I saw Shadow the night before, so it was completely justified. And I wasn't crazy.

"You're a lawyer, Amy. Just rationalize everything out." I nodded at my reflection in the mirror, combing my long quills into a ponytail.

And the rational thing was to go to work—forget about the past.

Even if I was falling face first back into it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Welcome to F.F. Law," the secretary said with a smile. But it was hard to feel happy about anything. Work was the only thing I had to keep me sane—and on the elevator ride up here Clarissa decided that this fact made me pathetic.

"You two will be meeting with President Ferret shortly," he informed us, rising from his chair. "For now, I was instructed to give you a tour of the company."

I nodded at the young man, but I was a ball of nervous energy. Somehow Clarissa was practically bouncing off the gray walls.

"I can't believe we work here!" She whispered loudly, pointing to the floor-length window. The people below looked like ants. She nudged me in the shoulder when I didn't respond. "You okay?"

I nodded again; it seemed like the only thing I could do. But I had to get over whatever the hell was bothering me as much as I had to admit that Shadow was the one bothering me. However, the problem with that idea was that I'd have to confront him. And if I confronted him, I didn't know if that would really resolve anything. I'd remain bitter, alone, and even more sexually frustrated. It just there would be no progress no matter what I did.

"Right here we have the publication sector, where they manage..." We passed a room with a couple of cubicles and some people running back and forth as if printing was some sort of sport. We passed a conference room, a lounge/patio area, and then some individual offices.

"These are the offices for some of the associates and the president. Mr. Parrot will be retiring in a few months, so one of you may be looking at a quick promotion. But for now, you two will work in these cubicles." He motioned to the modern room with a few other stations. I could hear conversation behind the shallow wood walls. I assumed they were our co-workers.

"Like I said, President Ferret is eager to talk to each of you." He motioned to Clarissa, the door. "Miss Bobcat, if you would enter first. I hope this tour has been insightful."

"Thanks." My friend gave me a small smile before stepping into the office. I sat down in the seat in front of it, surveyed the bleak walls that were somehow vibrant, the dark-brown wood that colored the doors and lined them and the walls. There were a few motivational posters on the walls, and the space seemed traditional, yet sleek. I had just finished reading the seventh poster (distraction effort), one about motivation, when Clarissa exited. She smoothened her pant leg

"How did it go?" I asked. But I immediately felt silly. We already had jobs here.

"Oh, great," Clarissa said, wrinkling her nose. "Just no action yet. I have to go organize some court-files and see which one's 'cater to my strengths'."

"But you ace everything."

"I know." She sighed before walking off. "Have fun."

I could rant on about how that was impossible, and how I didn't like her unwarranted sarcasm, but President Ferret called me in. I rose to my feet.

"Don't keep me waiting." Oh, great. I started in a sprint. But it was a wasted effort, because boss man was playing on his cellphone. I stood there for about two minute while he played _Jewel Quest _until he finally looked up. And when he did, he was grinning like a child.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Sit down."

"Okay."

He looked at me for what felt like an eternity. But I guess that was appropriate because he didn't actually hire me—we'd never met before. It wasn't a bad look or anything really; it was like he was trying to tell if I wasn't an idiot. With a purse of his lips he nodded. An internal sigh escaped me. I had passed?

"So this is Amy Rose." He started flipping through a file, before he set it down. Orange eyes latched onto mine. "It's an honor to have you here."

"Please." I wove my hand. "It's an honor to be working here."

"Tell me, you've lived here before haven't you?"

"Yes."

"Good." The brown ferret man, who couldn't be older than thirty-five, nodded. "That will help you get a feel of the cases we handle. Since this is mostly an urban/suburban area most of the cases we take on are not high profile. Mostly just consumer issues, business disputes, patents—private industries." He laughed, adjusted his tie-less collar. "Sorry if it isn't as interesting as saving the world."

I tried to smile back, but I felt uneasy. Not toward him—but myself. He was right. If I could save the world, why was I so freaked out about talking to Shadow? He was just Shadow. But that sentence didn't even seem possible.

"Miss Rose?"

But he wasn't _that_ great—I mean, he was _mean_. And even though I had known him the better half of my life, gotten use to his attitude, that didn't mean we'd be compatible. But why did I care? Why couldn't I get him off my mind now?

There was a knock on the table and I immediately looked up. President Ferret. He looked irritated.

"Sorry...Long flight," I tried to excuse myself. But even I didn't believe me.

"Alright." The man shrugged. "Well, it was nice meeting you. I'm sure it'll be a pleasure having you at F.F. Corp. You may follow the secretary. You'll be organizing cases with one of the associates for the time being."

"Okay, thank you."

"And Miss Rose?"

"Yes?" I spun around, my eyes meeting the view of buildings behind him, his rather impersonal desk (and office for that matter), before reaching his. I could have been mesmerized, he had that attractive, rich, bachelor look to him, but I pushed the thought away. Maybe I did need help.

He cleared his throat. "Law isn't easy, and it probably isn't as natural as diving piko-piko hammer first into an enemies face."

"I haven't done that in years—"

"But if you need any help, don't hesitate to ask me." His smile was enchanting. "I'm a big fan of yours."

I would be lying if I said my heart didn't flip. But I shook this feeling off—nodded, and escaped before my twisted mind could ruin my relationship with my boss. I cursed in the hallway.

_Relationship?_

I cursed again.

Get a fucking grip.

* * *

Filing didn't take as long as I thought it would. Of course, it was the holidays, and the associate I was working under, Shelley, was an older, nit-picky woman who insisted on doing everything herself. During a coffee break I even heard her mumbling about me being the next office-tease. Which seemed unlikely—only about five or six women (out of the thirty plus employees) worked here. And Clarissa was the one clawing the guys away.

"Why the hell do we have a no dating policy?" Clarissa whined as we ate our lunch. We were outside of the office building, in the park-area that lead to the business center. Where there also happened to be a sandwich shop. I took an angry bite from mine, tried not to feel feelings.

"Maybe because you'll sleep with everyone." I took a sip of my water, was surprised when Clarissa frowned.

"It's not gonna stop me."

"So you _are _a whore."

"Shut up."

She started to laugh, and I knew I hadn't inflicted any real damage. But that didn't help anything. I had just started work and I had already gotten (okay, I was also giving) weird vibes from my boss. One of the workers already hated me, and no one hit on me. So I didn't know why she was complaining.

"I think I'm going to like working here," Clarissa decided. "It's not as interesting as I thought it be, but the pay's good. I should have my brother out on bail in no time."

"I'm glad to hear that."

"Are you really?"

I snapped in her direction, expected her expression to be mocking, but she was serious. "Look, I just want you to be happy with everything. Life's good. And I'm getting some info on Shads, in fact—"

Her phone started ringing. "It's Sonic, gotta take this."

"But—" She disappeared as fast as the blue blur on the other line. Meanwhile, I tried to find peace with the silence. But the winter park was lonely, until a couple waltzed by. The sky dimmed when they left. I kicked a rock; it scratched my shoe.

"Life's good, huh?" A sigh escaped me. "For who?"

Maybe it was the eerily peaceful environment, or the fact that I was done with everything, my felt heavy. Sleep came like a light breeze.

* * *

"Wake up."

I could smell perfume before my eyes opened. And when they did, I was even more confused. Was I in Clarissa's room? What happened? Wasn't I just organizing files?

Groggily, I rose from where I was, saw a sofa and pillows. Was I late for work? Did I even _go_ to work?

"_Shit_."

"So that's how you greet me after all this time?"

I spun over my shoulder, but immediately regretted the act. I rubbed my neck. "Cut the crap, Rouge."

"Why hello to you too, Sugar."

"You know I'm not five, right?" I said, rising from the couch, examining the mostly purple room through squinted eyes.

"Of course I know that." Rouge placed her hands on her hips; the act was as sassy as her tone. "Five-year-olds don't dry hump in their sleep."

My eyes widened. "Oh."

"Calm down, I'm only joking." She plopped down on the sofa. Patted it for me to sit closer. "So how's life?"

Like the life-less drone I was, I just stared at Rouge, tried to see how the years had changed her. The last time I saw her was maybe two years ago, though the details escaped me. All I knew was that only she, Sonic, Knuckles, and their kids were there. I didn't remember it going bad, but it wasn't memorable. Long story short, she looked practically the same. Only she had longer hair and was wearing a knee-length dress. But same snarky teal eyes. Same annoyingly sneaky personality.

"I'm living," I replied when I noticed Rouge getting impatient. "Is this your living room? It's good to know who's the man in the house."

"You like?" She stroked the corduroy sofa. "It's all expensive as hell. Upgraded when the twins got off formula."

"But aren't you pregnant again?"

"I am." She patted her slightly protruding belly. "We weren't expecting them. But you know Knux."

"Sure, why not." I moved from my spot, rubbed my head. "What time is it? Why was I asleep?"

"Two thirty-six. And I drugged you—though I might have gone a little overboard." Rouge laughed; it was harsh and full of snark. Surprise. But that didn't stop me from lashing at her.

"Rouge!" I searched around the room, found my purse on the wood floor, my heels next to it. "I'm late for work!"

"Oh that's right, you're a fancy-pants lawyer." Rouge started filing her nails. "How's that working out for you?"

"Not well, _obviously_." I was about to start smacking my head on the wall when I heard screaming from the other room. Girl screams.

"Stop beating up your sister, Ruby!" Rouge yelled.

"Ok!" the voice that I could only assume belonged to Ruby replied.

"Kids." Rouge shrugged, rose to her feet. "So have you seen angry eyes yet?"

I just blinked at her. How could she be so casual about this? I knew she could be blunt, but this wasn't like asking if I bought her something from the mall.

"Of course I haven't. Don't you have any idea what happened between us?"

"No?" Rouge pouted. "I mean, obviously you ran off to law school. But Shadow's been just as scorny as he's always been." Her eyes then hit mine. It took everything not to fall back from the intensity. "_What_ happened?"

"Nothing." But I knew I had dismissed her too quickly. I shrugged it off, headed toward the door that I prayed would lead out of this hell. "We both agreed that it was better for me to go to the better school." I nodded. "He wanted me to focus on my studies."

"Why isn't that nice of him?" Rouge looked skeptical, but I decided this didn't mean anything. "So what are you going to do about him now?"

Crap.

Feelings of dread surged through me, but I didn't know why. We both knew the answer. Even if I wasn't so sure that I liked it. "I'm going to focus on the job _you_ so rudely pulled me away from."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, Detective Rouge."

She rolled her eyes at me, but something told me it wasn't personal. Maybe she was just irritated that I was a bad liar to both her and myself. But with a shrug, some of the tension in the room evaporated. Only some of it.

"Good," Rouge said after a while, leading me to the front door. "He's dating someone anyway. Nice girl."

My eyes widened, and my only saving grace was the fact I was already facing outside.

"Nice chat," she continued. "When you're not busy, drop by again."

Something told me I'd be dropping by whether or not my schedule permitted.

"Okay."

The world felt colder than it did before.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

When I returned to work, it was already well pass three o'clock and my limbs were freezing and numb. My "good friend" Rouge apparently forgot that she had abducted me _and _left me stranded. And the walk back from the near-winter wonderland left me more bitter than I was before.

If that was possible.

"Where the hell were you?" I should have been glad that Clarissa was saying this. But I merely hung up my coat before regretting the decision and putting it back on.

"Oh, you know," I said, fighting off the sneeze tickling the back of my nose. "Just being abducted by Rouge." I sat down at my desk. Heard whispers from some of the other co-workers. I should have silenced them with a death look, but I didn't care anymore. And I didn't want to add 'bitch' on top of 'slacker'. This was my first-day progress. "What did I miss?"

"Not much, I guess." Clarissa said, twisting a strand of her hair. "Boss-man said the work load will either increase or decrease because of the holidays, you know with suing and higher suicide/homicide rates, and that you have to be prepared to come in less, more, or at odd hours. No overtime."

"Crap."

"But we do get a nice break off during the holidays." Clarissa said, sliding into her own chair. She reached from a shelf next to her, spilled a stack of files onto my desk. "So abducted by Rouge, you say? Why didn't you bring me?"

"Trust me, I had little say in the matter." I started flipping through the files, felt my brain pulse in pain, from stress. "I have to read all of these?"

"And determine which cases are your strong suits _and _will be better cases for the company to take on."

"Sounds like fun."

"Yeah, I'd help you sort through them, but my eyes are already bleeding." She shook her head. "Private company stuff sucks. It's all paperwork."

"And all pay." I reminded her. "Remember that I can still help you with your—"

"Nope," Clarissa held up a hand. "It's all about principle." One of the associates, a hare this time, barked for someone to get him coffee. And by someone, I'm pretty sure he was talking about one of us. "Coming!" she said, before turning to me. "Looks like you might need some too."

"Please."

But there was something else I needed that now seemed impossible to obtain.

* * *

I exited the dark office building around seven, with cases of civil infractions and patents for Christmas presents swirling through my brain. I was the last to leave, which probably upgraded me to slacker bitch-office slut, but I was pretty sure the boss snuck out before I made it back in. Good to know some people had lives.

But the moment I reached my car and started driving, new thoughts replaced the corporate ones. Like if Rouge was actually telling the truth. Or if I had any right to be disappointed. It's not like I didn't go on any dates in law school. Of course, most of the time they were double dates to make sure Clarissa' didn't go overboard, but I didn't _do _anything. Yes, nuns everywhere would be proud of me—I had renewed my membership to the chastity club. But what was I waiting for now?

Was I going to die alone?

When my cellphone started ringing, I knew that at least one person on earth cared about me. "Clarissa?"

"Hey, Amy," she said. "Meet me at Avalon's Tavern. It's outside of Merriment Plaza, on the corner of Main and Nubia."

"Okay."

I heard some laughing in the background before the phone cut off. I shook my head. Clarissa was adjusting better than I was. But I guess she was the better person. She had real problems, yet she rarely complained about them. I had minor annoyances that constantly weighed on my shallow mind. I'm surprised she hadn't disbanded from me like the others.

"Calm down," I said aloud, as I pulled into a parking space. "No worries, no problems." I chanted this as I walked out of the car, saw Clarissa's a couple spaces over, and entered the bar. No worries. No problems.

I allowed a smile to grace my face as I spotted Clarissa at the main bar. The space was eclectic, modern, but warm.

"Hey, bestie," I said, trying to be friendly. Well, friendly-er. "What's up?"

"_Everything_," she replied, laughing. Almost snorted out her drink on the table. "This bartender is hilarious! Here I was, bored out of my mind waiting for you to finish—I probably should have actually _waited_ for you to finish—until I stumbled here. Half-priced drinks. They know my weakness."

"Who?"

"Hello, little lady."

Honestly, I was beyond tired of unexpected encounters. But what was I expecting? I spun around completely, greeted a man I had not conversed with in two years.

"Why hello, Phil." I put on a brighter smile than I had earlier, and I was afraid he'd see through it. Again, he looked the same. Same ash fur. Same knowing look that I wish could solve all of my non-existent problems. But something didn't fit. "Wait, when did you—"

"Open this place?" He finished for me. He shrugged. "Right after I retired the stand a few years ago; actually Parker bought it for me."

"Seriously, w-why'd you let him go?" Clarissa said, downing the rest of her drink. If it weren't for the fact she was getting more intoxicated by the second, I would have given her a death glare.

"Even Parker still wonders sometimes," Phil continued. "He just stares blankly into space, wondering where he went wrong..."

"_Please_ don't joke about that Phil." I sat down on a stool, remembered that as happy as I wanted to be, my happiness seemed dependent on factors that were out of my control. I mean, Shadow was _dating_ someone? I shook my head, pushed the thought as far away as I could. "And you shouldn't have let her drink so much."

"My apologies." Phil said, drying a glass with a towel. "Your friend looked like she could hold liquor. But I guess looks can be deceiving."

"Rarely," I said with a sigh. Was I to expect that Shadow would remain alone forever? He took a chance on relationships before; it would be weird if he never tried again. It's not like I was special or something.

I patted Clarissa's back as she leaned her head on the table. "Maybe I went to far..." she said, groaning.

"You know we still have work tomorrow, right?"

"Fuck."

"But tell me," Phil began, sliding a drink down the table. "How are you doing? It looks like the years have treated you well. What's this new job I hear about?"

"I'm fine, I guess. And I work at a private law firm with this one." I pointed a thumb at the semi-conscious girl. "You know, if we don't lose our jobs for poor conduct." I already had a strike on day one. I sighed.

"You don't seem fine." Phil slid me a drink. I took a sip, pushed it back. Ginger Ale. "At least not emotionally."

I would have felt affected by his words, but Phil was an expert reader—it was practically in his job description. A job I'm surprised he hadn't over grown.

"How's Parker?" I shouldn't have asked this, but that was the root of all of discussions: Amy and the bachelors she was constantly chasing off.

"Great, actually. Took over the practice he was working for and is one of the heads at the gynecology wing at the regional hospital. Makes over a million a year."

"That must make his partner happy." I shouldn't have said this either, but I knew what he was trying to do—boast the son he subconsciously wanted me to be with. Why did all of this seem like a sick game? And why was I the only one who had to play?

"Still single." Phil scratched his head, gave me a slight look. "Hate to sound like a mom, but I'm eager for some grandkids. My daughters are still in college."

"Do you really think we'd make a good couple?" I said, swirling the straw in my beverage. "Because I wouldn't want to date me."

"And it's that attitude that's gonna keep you single." Phil set a glass down hard on the table. He didn't seem angry, but the clatter of the glass was loud enough to draw attention from the flock of bar goers. It wasn't embarrassing, but I could feel my cheeks heat up, my throat tighten up. I looked down at Clarissa. Still motionless.

"You sure?" I pushed. "Because I'm pretty sure happy-go-lucky-Sonic-loving-Amy was still alone. Not only that, I was also ignorant. So don't pretend that I haven't made any progress."

"I'm not saying that." Phil shook his head. "I just don't like this attitude."

"What am I supposed to do then?"

Phil's gaze softened, but I refused to see eye to eye with him. "Parker and I are not compatible. So I would really appreciate it if you'd stop alluding to him."

"I'm just trying to help you."

"Well, _stop_." I rose to my feet, dragged Clarissa with me. She started mumbling about cake. "I've matured. I can take care of myself."

Phil sighed before shrugging. "Then you should have no problem with the life you're creating for yourself. I wish you all the best."

I should have thanked him. Apologized. But something snapped inside me, something vile and ugly that confirmed that I did have a problem. However, I couldn't let him know. Not anyone.

So I just left, heard him mumble something about me and deserving something. He had it wrong though.

I didn't deserve anything.

* * *

Yes, it was my self-depreciating attitude (and my self-depreciating attitude alone) that was going to make me a spinster. Yup. But in order to get work done, I buried these thoughts as I continued the very fun job of organizing court-files.

It had been like this for about two weeks, bringing cases to the associates and ensuring that my coworkers didn't think I bummed my way in or anything with my hero status. But what was mostly surprising was how I was able to avoid the gang. I talked to Sonic occasionally by phone. And I hadn't been abducted by Rouge since that one encounter.

Good. I guess I was losing my appeal. Another quality to add to my apparent spinster-ness.

"Wow, you're really good at organizing the files," one of the coworkers said, a middle-aged panda named Pauline. "Been here ten years and the patent cases still take forever."

"They're a pain in the ass," I replied. "You just can't read them as critically as a lawyer—you have to take them for originality. Makes you wonder why we bothered going to school for this."

"If you get the promotion it'll all be worth it." The woman laughed. "Looks like your friend may he a strong candidate as well."

"Yeah." Great. Competition. Didn't people know that I had absolutely nothing to care about?

"Pick up the pace," Clarissa dumped some more files on my desk. "You'll have to look at mine for me. Mr. Hare wants me to handle a civil infraction on the scene. Holiday issues. Remind me when it's January." She sighed before waving goodbye.

"She's on fire," Pauline said, rising from her desk. "But that won't stop me from taking my lunch break. Want anything?"

"No, but thanks." I had lost my appetite weeks ago. Just like I was losing Clarissa to the corporate ladder. She needed a promotion more than anyone—deserved it more than anyone. But that didn't mean that I wanted to lose my job either. "I'm swamped."

"Suit yourself."

That was an honest response, but it was a trigger. Despite the fact that even _I _was getting annoyed with my mental complaining and bah-humbugging, it seemed like I was the one digging my own hole. Worse than that, I didn't know where the hell I was digging toward.

"Just work," I told myself. "Very soon you'll get out of this office—deal with other people's problems."

Yes, all I needed were distractions. Then I could survive.

"Hey, Miss Amy," Secretary Jim said, approaching me. "Mr. Ferret wanted to see you." He walked off as fast as he came, but not before winking at me. Fighting the urge to read into things (like if I really had been delegated as office slut), I rose from my desk and strolled over to the office as discreetly as I could. I almost tripped twice in the twenty-foot walk.

With an inhale, I rattled on the door.

"Come on in."

"Okay."

Mr. Ferret motioned to the chair across from him. I sat down, tried not to be an open book. "Uh, what did you want to see me for? Have I done something wrong? I'll work harder."

Smooth.

"No, calm down." He swayed his hand in the air. "I just wanted to talk."

I blinked. "About what?"

"How do you like working here?"

"I like it a lot." True, I was up to my sockets in paperwork but it was the holidays. And the paperwork allowed me to work overtime. Which meant less opportunity to see my 'friends' in public.

"Tell me, what are your plans tonight?"

"My plans?" My gaze retreated to the small calendar on his desk. December 7th. Friday. "Uh, nothing?"

"You sure?" The brown ferret raised a brow at me. I looked down again, conflicted. Was he trying to ask me out or confirm that I really was a loser? A beep from my cellphone shattered my thoughts.

"Sorry," I said, peering down at the device.

**Clarissa: Guess who invited us to dinner?**

"I guess I have dinner plans," I said, shuffling the phone back into my pocket. "Any reason?"

There was a slightly relieved look on his face. "No, just wanted to see if your story linked with hers."

I blinked at him. "You mean Clarissa?"

"Indeed," he replied. But he couldn't hide the slight blush on his face. I knew that expression too well.

I blinked at him again. So it wasn't me. "Do you like—"

"I like a lot of things." He shrugged. "Keep up the good work. I'll expect you won't be working over time with your plans. But that's fine. Have a nice evening."

"You too."

I left the office feeling confused as always.

* * *

"You didn't tell me where we're meeting them," I said as Clarissa drove. Honestly, I had no idea how I got in here. Or when I agreed to come. Why did my friends practice kidnapping as a hobby? "Or _who _we're meeting."

"You've met them before."

"Wow, that narrows it." I rolled my eyes. But I was mostly trying to hide my dread. The only person I could think that invited us was Sonic. And I could deal with his family. But I didn't know if I could deal with their other guests—they had to be inviting the others. I shook my head. "Look, if Blaze or Cream or any of their significant others are there, I'm paying back by telling our guests EVERY embarrassing thing about you. Starting with the time you blowed—"

"Stop!" Ironically, Clarissa halted the vehicle. I peered out the window, saw Sonic's house. I wish I could say that it was a sight of relief, but it merely confirmed my suspicions. Now all I needed was Blaze to come out and set me on fire.

"We're here," Clarissa said after a while, her voice sing-songy.

"I know." I pushed open the door. "Let's get this hell over with." I smoothed out my dress, walked forward even though I should have been running in the other direction.

"Wow," Clarissa said, wrapping her arm over mine. "I can't believe I'm having dinner with _the_ Sonic the Hedgehog."

"Yeah, yeah." I rang the doorbell, felt the same rush of dread return. With a sigh I tried to expel my tension. I mean, so what if all of the others were there? So what?

I was sorry for what I had done. Now, I wasn't going to apologize for it—it's not like I killed anyone. But that didn't mean that we all weren't capable of moving on.

"Hey, girlies." Sonic stood under the door frame with his usual lopsided grin. "Nice of you to finally join us."

I wrinkled my nose. "We're early and you know it." I turned to Clarissa. "Stop drooling and give him the cake."

"Good to see who's the man in this relationship," Clarissa replied before giving him the dessert. "Not that we're gay for each other or anything."

"No judgment," Sonic said. "Come on in."

It was the first time that I had been in his new house. From bachelor pad to modest mansion, I couldn't admit that I was partially jealous. Everyone had made homes for themselves.

"Where are the babies?" Clarissa said as we crossed the large foyer.

"Sleeping." It was Sally who said this. Like Sonic she seemed frozen in time—no baby weight or anything. In fact, between the kids and being a fitness trainer, she was both skinnier than me and looked like she could kick my ass. She smiled at us. I contemplated whether or not it was fake. "It's like the bigger they get the more of a handful they become."

"What, no maids?" Clarissa said like a curious child questioning everything.

"Just a day nanny." Sally rubbed her hands on her apron, since she was also the expert housewife of life. "Come to the living room. We're still waiting on the others."

My heart stopped. "And by others you mean..."

"Everyone." Sally then gave me a confused look. "Why?"

"Stop making her sweat," Sonic said, shaking his head. "Just Knuckles and Rouge. Unfortunately, they're the only ones who wanted to come."

"That doesn't surprise me," I said, taking a seat on the leather sofa.

"I was just joking, geez," Sonic said, flipping the flat screen to some sporting channel. "You're lucky Clarissa puts up with you."

Clarissa responded by giggling like a fool.

The soccer match then stole Sonic's attention and whatever was left of Clarissa's brain. So I took it upon myself to drift out of the room. The place was large with sky blue walls, dark wood floors and contemporary furniture wherever there wasn't an award from Sonic or an article about Sally on the wall.

I took a deep breath, gazed at the group portrait in the hallway. I couldn't tell when it was from—it was casual, at a park or something, and everyone was in it. Even Shadow. Though he didn't look happy. But that wasn't my fault.

Right?

My feet found the kitchen, where Sally was pulling something out of the oven. I walked up to her. "Need any help?"

Truthfully, I had no idea why I was offering. It felt like a sorry attempt to fix the problems I created. I didn't really know where I stood—just that I hadn't crossed her as much as the others and that Sally had gotten better at hiding her distaste over the years.

"Nah." She shut the oven, placed what looked like bread rolls on the counter. "Go relax with the others. Did you want something to drink? Sorry, I thought Rouge and Knuckles would be here by now," she told me, scratching her head in a semi-shy manner.

"I'm fine," I replied, trailing my fingers on the granite counter tops. "I was just losing brain cells watching the sports game."

Sally smiled wider. "I hear you. You'd think I'd be more of a sports fanatic. I mean, I have an athletic apparel line." The squirrel girl moved to the stove, began stirring a pot of stew. "You should come to one of my classes at my gym. It will help you relax."

"Who said I'm not relaxed?" I shrugged. But I knew that denying my tension confirmed it.

"I don't know," Sally replied sarcastically, moving to the pantry. "Have you talked to the others? I'm sure they would argue against you."

"Well, that wouldn't be new." I pouted.

"How long are you going to remain pessimistic about everything?" Sally's glare was on me, icy and unflinching. I wanted to feel troubled by this, but part of me was surprised she hadn't snapped earlier. I was right about her fake friendly facade.

"I'm not trying to be," I admitted. "It's just that—"

"Have you ever thought to consider that maybe everyone _does _forgive you? Or at least couldn't care less anymore?" She folded her arms together, like she was a teacher reprimanding a child. "I don't even remember where all of this hostility is coming from. Just reach out to the others and get over it."

"Get over it?" I considered before shaking my head. "You make it sound so simple."

"It _is_." Sally sighed. "Look, we're all living pretty content lives. I'm married. I have two wonderful little boys. And a career that makes me very happy."

It felt like Sally was rubbing her awesome life in my face until she took my hand into hers, squeezed it. "What would I—what would the others—have to be mad about?"

Before I could respond a catchy chime filled the air.

"Looks like Rouge and Knuckles finally made it." Sally smiled, started for the front door. "Add some more pepper to the stew, okay?"

"Alright."

Let the fun begin.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"Sorry we're late," Knuckles said as he walked in with Rouge. "This one took forever getting dressed."

"Well, _Cream_ took forever getting to our house to babysit." Rouge slid off her magenta coat and handed it to me. "I'll take a gin and tonic with a slice of lime."

"Ha, ha," I replied, folding the item in my hand. "Fortunately, I'm not your bitch. Even though _you_ can be a bitch sometimes."

Teal eyes clashed against mine. For a second, I thought she was going to kick my ass. But then she smiled a sly smile. "Thank you, bitch girl."

"You're welcome, bitch girl."

Knuckles rolled his eyes before heading into the living room. Clarissa squealed.

"Why'd you bring the fan girl?" Sally said, peeking into the living room. "She's going to wake up the boys."

"I'll tell her to shut up at home." I shrugged, but not without feeling both Rouge and Sally's eyes burn on my form. "What?"

"You live with her?" Rouge said.

"Yeah?"

"She's pretty," Rouge said, peeking into the room. Clarissa was shaking Knuckle's hand like he was a celebrity or something. "You should date her."

My mouth widened. "I'm not gay."

The bat pouted. "Well, you _are_ wearing a pant suit."

"Because I didn't have time to change after work."

"Next you're gonna say you work with her too."

"I _do_."

"Well, good to know we've been replaced."

"_Rouge_." She walked off before I could stop her, or talk (but preferably, slap) some sense into her.

"Don't mind her," Sally said, shaking her head. "She's always like this when she's pregnant. She's not allowed to go on missions so she starts stirring up controversy to entertain herself." She started for the living room. "Nothing too extreme though."

"Oh." But part of me was a little disappointed. That meant she probably wasn't lying about Shadow. He was with someone. I was alone. Life was different, but the same all over again.

He didn't care. I guess I didn't care either. If either of us really did, we would have taken the initiative to see each other. He had to know I was here—he had to.

"Coming?" Sally turned back. I nodded and followed.

Hopefully dinner would be painless.

* * *

I jinxed the night by having expectations. Even if they were modest.

"Remember when you used to have the crush of life on Sonic, Amy?" Rouge said, taking a sip of her sparkling (_please_ let it be sparkling) wine.

"You're not drunk Rouge. You can stop asking dumb questions."

"_Oh_." The men said in unison.

"Come on," Sonic then said. "Amy's like my little sister. And she's probably already captivated some guy at her firm."

"How's work going?" Sally then asked, unfazed by the sitting storm of conflict that was Rouge. But I guess the others were used to it. I was the one walking back into it.

"Great," Clarissa answered for me. "I mean, it's mostly paper work and settling disputes outside of court, but it'll probably get more interesting after the holidays."

"And random, long hours," I added, poking at my rice. "So I apologize for not being able to stop by as much."

"No worries," Sonic replied. "Everyone's a little swamped. I've got a governmental meeting next week. And Sally's prepping the fitness center for New Years."

"You guys are _so_ cool," Clarissa said dreamily, before turning to Rouge and Knuckles. "All of you."

"And what about you?" Rouge said, pouring herself another glass. "What have you been up to outside of work?"

"Nothing, I guess." But Clarissa was grinning. "I've had to handle some cases on location, so I've been able to go to some local shops. Everything looks beautiful this time of year."

"Dating anyone?" Rouge asked. Knuckles shook his head, probably aware that something uncomfortable was about to go down. Great.

"Ah, not at the moment," Clarissa said. "Though we have a no dating policy at the firm. I mean, I don't usually care for rules and regulations myself, but since I'm a lawyer, it be a bit hypocritical if I didn't follow them. Plus, I like my job."

"That's good to hear."

Clarissa was smiling so hard at this point that I thought it would kill her. But sitting with my 'friends' made me want to kill myself.

"But." Clarissa took a sip from her wine, seemed to thrive off the silence. "What's the deal with Shadow?"

My silverware clattered on the ground.

"Are you alright, Amy?" Sally asked. "I'll go get you another fork and spoon."

"No, no," I said, swishing my hands in the air. "I'll go get it."

My glare met Clarissa's. She stared at me like I was the one who lost it, until her eyes widened. She stood up. "Actually, I have to go to the restroom."

"I'll show Clarissa," I volunteered. "God, I'm so sorry for the interruption. Everything tastes great though."

"Thank-you." Again, Sally appeared unfazed. But I guess that really meant nothing. She was slyer than I cared to admit. But she was also less likely to act on those tendencies than the jewel queen. We left the space as the men started conversing about sports.

I pulled out silverware from the kitchen before pulling Clarissa closer. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What?" She blinked at me. "I thought I was being charming."

"Well, _Princess Charming_, the guys already think that we're gay lovers, and that I'm a total stick in the mud."

"Hey, one out of two isn't bad." I punched her shoulder.

"I don't care about any of that."

"Then why did you assault me?" She punched my shoulder.

"Because they don't know about me and Shadow," I said, rubbing my upper arm. "At least, no one else but Rouge. If she hasn't blabbed to the world. But I never actually told her that we dated or anything before I left."

"This is fucked up."

"I know."

"No," Clarissa shook her head. "I mean, _you_. You should be more honest with your friends."

"I know," I admitted. "But that can't be helped now. I just want to finish dinner, go home, and finish reviewing my court files."

"My, doesn't that sound like an action-packed Friday night. Oh, _please_ take me with you."

"Oh,_ please_ don't mention Shadow again." I rubbed my temple. "Besides, he already has a g—"

"Girls, could you get another bottle of wine?" Rouge called.

I could hear Sally groan from the other room.

"Cheer up," Clarissa said, grabbing a bottle of sparkling cider and pulling me out of the room "Let's go!"

Unless she added 'home' to the end of that sentence I would rather choke myself.

Rouge snatched the bottle from Clarissa the second we entered the room. "Took you two long enough. I almost thought you were having a moment in there."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" I replied, sitting down.

"We'd like that," Knuckles snickered before Rouge crashed her knuckles in his skull. "Never mind."

"So can we all admit that we're boring and call it a night?"

"It's only 8:30," Sonic said. "We haven't even had dessert."

"And this is the only time momma gets away with eating as much of it as she wants," Rouge added. "What? Do you have something more important to do?"

"Yeah, revisit the idea of strangling myself," I mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"God, Amy," Rouge said, stabbing a fork into her plate. It was wiped clean. "You sound like Shadow." A sick smile broke out on her face. "You know what? You two should've dated. I'm surprised you didn't."

"That's sick, Rouge," Sonic replied. "Is Shadow even able to," he paused, searched for his adult words. "_You know_?"

"He's not an android, Sugar." Rouge rolled her eyes.

"I guess not technically." Knuckles chimed in. "Still, Shadow is incredibly reclusive. I don't know if I could ever see him with anyone."

As they continued to discuss the improbabilities of Shadow ever laying it on anyone, I felt both irritated and disturbed.

"Well, _I _saw him with someone," Rouge told the men. But she was looking in my direction. "He told me a couple of months ago. It's Mina."

It took everything not to grind my teeth, or beg for more information. Mina the Mongoose?

"Seriously?" I was surprised Sally was surprised. "I can't see her going out with him. I mean, Shadow is a looker, but he has the personality of a diaper."

"You got that right," I mumbled, pushing my plate forward. "Who wants dessert?"

"Of course, he isn't as attractive as me," Sonic said, smirking at Sally. She rolled her eyes. "But I don't know. People change. She might have gone crazy."

"I would really love cake right now." I patted my stomach. "Yup, would love to eat dessert and talk about something else."

"Why do you want to change the subject?" Clarissa whispered to me. Before I could make an excuse her eyes widened with a '_Da faq?'_ look. "You knew about them?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, I think Amy should explore her options," she suddenly said out of nowhere. "But tell me more about Shadow and Mina." She smiled weakly at me, but in that moment I knew I was capable of murder.

"She's a singer. Fun to be around," Rouge went on. "Built like a Veronica's Secret Model. Almost as pretty as Clarissa here."

"Oh, stop it." Clarissa blushed. "But please don't."

"Well, I'll toast to that." Sonic said, lifting his glass. "Shad needs to get laid. And I hope that Mina will finally make his heart beat. "To Shadow getting ass."

"To Shadow getting ass!" The group toasted. And my only joy was that they didn't point out that I hadn't participated.

"I'll get dessert." Sally finally said.

"I'll help," Clarissa said, joining her. Then it was just the four of us.

But of course, I was still alone.

* * *

The evening concluded around eleven, after Rouge had "too much" to drink, and the soccer match Knuckles and Sonic were watching ended.

When we got home, I was confident that I could live the rest of my life locked in my room when I wasn't at work. Scratch that. I'd skip my job—just curl in a ball in my dark room and block out the thought of Mina making kissy-faces at Shadow. She probably _was_ a Veronica's Secret Model. She was probably even pleasant to be around.

And even I was sick of me.

"Look, dinner wasn't really that bad," Clarissa, said, locking the door. "Actually, it was pretty awesome. Knuckles wrote his name on my knuckles." She presented them to me. I would have laughed but I was pretty sure the act would kill me.

"Glad that you had fun." I crossed my arms, kicked off my shoes in the closet. "Now if you excuse me, I'm going to my room to forget about feelings."

"Hey," Clarissa said, waltzing up to me. "Even an idiot could tell that Rouge was just trying to get to you. But she was just pushing your buttons."

"Why? It's not like I have any buttons to push."

"You have plenty," Clarissa assured me. "You should be glad that she cared enough to. After all, she and Knuckles were the only ones to show up. You think Sonic didn't invite Blaze or Tails or all of your other super awesome friends?"

I glared at her.

"Well, _do _you?"

"No." I closed my eyes, fought the urge to throw up from all of my disgust from tonight and life in general.

Shadow.

Was.

Dating.

Someone.

Who.

Wasn't.

Me.

But did I even want to date him? I hadn't seen him the longest—it had been over three years now. The group was pretty much painting him as the same person, but could I even deal with the same Shadow?

Still, something told me that if he did change, if he was suddenly more compassionate, less quick to dismiss the idea of us being together, things still wouldn't work out.

Because when the fuck did things _ever_ work out?

"But you can't give up," Clarissa said. Something told me that she was ranting on about something else earlier, but I just nodded. Pretended that I cared about what anyone had to say at this point.

"Really?" I said through gritted teeth. I inhaled. Exhaled. But my tension did not leave me. "Because I don't remember even starting."

"You have to get out of this slump," Clarissa said, slipping off her pumps. "I don't think Rouge was lying about Mina, but she wanted to trigger something inside you." She came to my side, patted my shoulder. "I've been trying to trigger it too."

"And what's that?"

Clarissa smiled. It was the most genuine gesture I had seen in a long time.

"Your fighting spirit."

I pressed my lips into a hard line. Motivation was always nice, but it was a waste of energy.

"So what do you suppose I do?" I considered, humoring her optimism.

Her smile intensified. I knew no good would come from it.

* * *

I went to bed with both heavy and ludicrous thoughts. Like if there was any truth to what anyone ever had to say. And if it were possible to spy on Shadow without getting caught. Clarissa's suggestion.

Of course, this didn't stop me from seeing him.

"It's about time," Light says, walking up to me. "I've missed you."

"Have you really?" I am in no mood to toy with him, or to talk really. "Because I thought you were busy with_ Mina_."

"That isn't me, remember?" I don't know how I find myself in his embrace, but I am. However, I don't know why I don't reject it. His fingers lace over my shoulders, linger at my hips. "And dating, not dating. Who cares? I'm here."

"You're not real," I reply. I place my hands on his chest, close my eyes. It heaves, and his heartbeat is steady—it steadies me. I bite my lip. Then why does he feel so real?

"Are you sure?" He tilts my face upward, forces me to face him. This nonexistent reality. "Because perception is everything."

I steal a glance at him before looking down. He looks like Shadow. He sounds like him too. But he isn't. Just like this isn't real.

"Tell me," he goes on, stroking my cheeks with his thumbs. "Do you like this?" He pecks my lips. His are hot and I feel like melting. He shifts before kissing me again. Harder. "Do you want me to stop?"

I should say something—anything—but I don't. So he continues with his sweet torture. My hands act before I can instruct them to, they weave into his quills, tilt his face downward, closer. And then I am lost. In love or lust, the lines seem to have always been blurred.

"Just tell me." His kisses travel southward. I choke on a moan.

Through lidded eyes I see him, also lost in this sensual game. He doesn't want to stop. So why is he asking? Why should I?

"Tell me," he says again. His kisses evolve into rougher gapes on my neck, and I cannot suppress what I'm feeling. A surge of euphoria hits me and I moan without realizing it.

"I can't," I say, moving my hands to his strong shoulders, before his chest again. This elicits a groan out of him. My lips find his again, and he kisses me hungrily, like he needs this too, and my body pulses with pleasure. Truthfully, I wanted to go further, I wanted to take advantage of him the same way it felt every man in my life had done before. Just, you know, with his body.

"Remember, this is your dream," he says this like I'm sane. Like I'm capable of making good decisions. If I made good decisions, I wouldn't be letting him kiss me senseless. I wouldn't be dreaming about this in the first place. "Control it."

I had really lost it, hadn't I?

A bed appears again, and before I can blink or make sense of this nonsense, we are on it. He is on top of me, threatening to take me again. It is a conflict of interests, me wanting to preserve my sanity, him just wanting to fuck with my mind, me.

Mostly me.

My back arches as his kisses trail downward, past my collarbone and stopping at my cleavage. He hitches my dress up and I know I should stop him, but he ceases me in a lip-lock, grinding his tongue against mine, silencing me. He follows the same example with his body, secures his hands on my hips and begins to grind into me.

My eyes widen. But lusty lust feelings take over, and I am ashamed of the sounds I make.

"Shadow!" I gasp.

The man's movements stop, and for a moment I feel like I'm drowning. Like I am dying, yet flying. He kisses me and I drink him up, give into him like I have given up on friendship, and love, and feelings. I am numb and Light is the only thing that can save me. He pecks my ear, whispers sweet thoughts.

He abandons all sensitivity when his thrusting intensifies. My mind scatters beyond repair. A tingle forms at the base of my spine, and my toes curl by reflex. The feeling hits me at once, like remembering a lost friend.

My body shrivels in pleasure, and the climax leaves me just as fast as it came. I lay there, panting like I had just run a marathon. Light kisses my temple to soothe me, but it continues to over heat me. I listen to his steady heart and he is mumbling something. Something about control.

But all I know is chaos.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 **

I woke to heavy thoughts and heavy breathing. The alarm clock rang only minutes afterward, but I was beyond awake. Beyond over whatever the hell was happening to me.

My footsteps were light, and my pajama pants skimmed the floor as I walked into the bathroom. I stared at my reflection; saw a girl even I wouldn't even want to love. I closed my eyes.

Stop it.

"There is nothing wrong with me," I chanted to myself, washing my face, my sullen spirits away. "There's nothing wrong with me." I looked again, saw no visible change in demeanor. "Except everything."

Naturally, I went to work feeling like a champ.

"You know you're like two weeks ahead with the court files," Pauline told me, pursing her lips. "I mean, I have teenagers to tend to, but even if I had free time, I would _not_ be classifying a case on snow blower warranties."

I shrugged, placed another file in the DONE box. "Unfortunately, I don't have much of a life as you." I smiled so that she knew I wasn't pessimistic. Or suicidal. "How's your family?" She went on to tell me that they would be vacationing at the beach, that one just got accepted to a very fancy university, and that she had a very hot man in her life. I tried not to feel like death.

"Amy, Mr. Ferret wants to see you," the secretary said, tapping on my desk. "Said it's urgent."

Of course it was.

But I rose from my desk anyway, strolled to his office with a highly deflated ego.

"Miss Rose," the president said, motioning me inside. "Quick, would you like to go on the field today?"

Honestly, the field was an icy tundra. I preferred the warm indoors, the hot coffee, the comfortable prison I had created for myself. But sticking with the theme of self-denial, I nodded and told him I was thankful for the opportunity.

But I knew why he gave it to me—Clarissa had the day off. Decided that she would see her brother and do some snooping on Shadow. So I guess I couldn't hide anymore.

Oh, how much I enjoyed hiding.

"Be safe out there," my boss cautioned me. "Heard there's gonna be a blizzard later today."

Hooray.

* * *

My big break turned out to be no more than handling a civil dispute at Merriment Plaza. Toys-For-Tots apparently ran out of some airplane toy a woman had ordered on layaway. Settlement? She received her money back, and a gift card for another toy. Merry Christmas.

"Why, thank you so much," the woman told me. Truthfully, I felt quite worthless. She didn't even need me. Any one with a slightly lawfully inclined brain would have thought to pull out their receipt and see if store policy worked to their favor. Not curse the employees out.

But that didn't stop her from thinking I was a superhero or something. "It's been a rough year on my son, with the divorce and all. I just wanted to do whatever I could to cheer him up." She smiled, clutched the store bag in her hand. "When you love someone you do whatever you can to make them happy. I'm sure you know that. I know a pretty young girl such as yourself has someone wonderful in her life."

"Actually—"

"Oh no, I have to pick my son up from my mom." She waved before scurrying off. "Thanks again!"

I waved back. Good, I didn't want to talk about me anyway.

Today was a short work day for whatever reason, so I decided that I was done. I strolled the tundra that was Merriment Plaza, coffee at hand, not surprised that the space was still littered with persistent shoppers. I walked inside the mall and was welcomed by warmth.

The holiday shopping season was in full throttle, with just a few weeks until Christmas. But it was weird being a bystander—I had no urge to shop (Gasp!) and an even lesser urge to be here. So I was leaving, I guess.

"Hey!" I shouldn't have stopped in my tracks. Now they knew I was onto them. Still, I didn't entirely care, so I started walking anyway in the opposite direction. "Stop!"

I was pretending not to hear them. I didn't like unexpected encounters—they should know that.

"God, would it kill you to stop running away from your problems?"

Okay, I couldn't ignore this. But instead of stopping and letting their words seep in, I spun around, ready to lash at them myself.

"I didn't run away from anything." My hands hardened into fists. "_Elfie_."

Cream was dressed like an elf.

Like the others, she had remained the same. But the leap from teenage to young adultness was evident in her face—not her attire.

"What the fuck are you wearing?"

Cream narrowed her eyes, looked like she was going to pick a fight with me, or question why I hadn't seen her in so long and why the hell did I have to see her like this, when she sighed. "I was making an animatronic sled and Santa that were supposed to hang from the second-floor. Then the whole operation crashed and burned. Literally." She pointed to what appeared to be a burn spot on the tile behind her. "So now I'm working as Santa's assistant. Yup, after a long day of class and lab work I get to dedicate four hours every day here."

She pinched her hat, looked like she was ready to kill. "Of course, they don't let me _fix _it, or do anything relevant for my Ph.D. I just work here. Damn my high voice." She frowned. But because I was sick, a smirk found its way on my lips.

"Aren't you supposed to be working now?" I said, looking at a Santa struggling with three kids leaping on him. "I mean, I'd love to get a picture of you in action."

"Haven't I suffered enough?" Cream finally threw the hat off. "Whatever, I'm just gonna pay for the damages. Tails wanted me to work here. Said it would built character or something. Bullshit."

"Good to see your as refreshing as ever," I said. "How's Tails?"

"What do you care?" Cream countered, stripping off the rest of her attire until she was down to a skirt, boots, leggings and an obnoxious holiday sweater. "And what about you?"

"What about me?"

"You too busy with your life as a fancy-pants lawyer to see your friend? What, four years later and I'm still not good enough for you?"

"I thought all of you still hated me," I sighed, wondered why the universe always had a sick way of working. I should have gone home to sulk. Check on the progress of Clarissa's stalking. Normal things. Instead I was here. "I thought _you_ still hated me."

"Honestly, I don't know if I like you very much, but hate would be extreme." Cream walked over to the Santa booth, grabbed her coat and jacket. Santa was still being murdered. "I mean, its not like we sit around talking about how awful you are." Cream paused. "Well, not anymore."

Great.

"But I've gotten over it. Though, I think Blaze is still pretty miffed you didn't go to her wedding and that you didn't congratulate her on her pregnancy or something."

"She didn't tell me she was pregnant," I said, allowing a sigh to slide off my lips. Despite being indoors, coffee in hand, and reuniting (By choice?) with someone I was hoping was still was a friend, I felt cold.

"But you knew, right?" she said. I nodded. Cream groaned. "Amy, this isn't a game. I mean, you're a lawyer for damn sake. You should know right and wrong better than everyone else. Forget about what happened. Do what you feel is right."

"What about everyone else?" I replied. I didn't want to snap at her—I couldn't allow myself to. But I could tell she was slightly taken back at my tone. "Did anyone come to see me at Mercia for even one day? Did anyone come to my graduation?"

I was being mean. Sonic had bought me a boutique of white roses on that day. The twins were too young for him to leave them. But what about Rouge and Knuckles? What about Cream and Tails?

Blaze and Silver?

We were heroes—we're _all_ suppose to have high moral standards. So why was everyone getting on my case? What about theirs?

Cream pressed her lips together, shrugged. "I thought you didn't want us to come."

"No one wants to be alone." I closed my eyes, but not before seeing the parking lot come into view. "And everything that I have done—the things you and the others have persecuted me for—has been to avoid that."

"And how's that working out for you?"

With a sigh I walked over to my car. I didn't feel like answering her or saying goodbye; I'd be forced to see her again eventually, that was the only thing I knew for certain. I didn't want to be alone, I really didn't. I would have even welcomed Cream's company right now. Would have welcomed a time where I wasn't ignorant and things were bearable. But that time never existed. And I was afraid it never would.

Cream didn't join me.

I blamed myself for not asking.

* * *

A blizzard started when I reached home. Dread replaced numbness when I walked through the front door. It was too silent—Clarissa wasn't here.

All because she was doing my bidding.

"Fuck," I sat down at the kitchen nook. Texted her. Called. Waited for her to come home. Mortify me with details I didn't even want her to find in the first place.

In all fairness, she insisted that she had to go alone—said that I'd blow it by just being there. And I would have. Not because I was a total klutz (but still a klutz nevertheless), but because Shadow could probably sense my presence. I was surprised he didn't sense me when we were at the plaza. But he probably did. And now Clarissa was going to die just because she was looking for someone who didn't want to be found?

Like with Scourge.

I closed my eyes into a hard squint, pushed these destructive thoughts away again. Everything was going to be fine. I had to get rid of this pessimistic leech that absorbed my personality.

Before I could distract myself with a soap opera or other mindless television programs my phone rang. Clarissa.

"Thank God," I said in a sigh, reaching for it. "Are you alright—"

"Hello, is this Amy Rose?" a voice said. It was female.

"Yes. Who is this?"

There was talking on the other end—other voices. Rushed and hushed.

"Hello?"

"Hello?" The voice said, but it sounded more muffled than before. "Hello?"

"Hello?" I said back. "Can you hear me?"

The line cut.

But not before the voice said a word I wasn't expecting.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Hospital.

"Shit." I sprung to my feet, grabbed my purse and bolted out the door. "Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. SHIT."

A blast of winter hit me as I trudged through the snow and slush. The elements were successful at coating me silly, but I could only feel horror.

Many people had taken to the winter warning, the roads were clear of everything except snow. Rush hour had ended hours ago, but as fast as I wanted to drive, the road was still slick and there wasn't much good in killing myself before I got to the hospital.

But why was Clarissa there?

She didn't call me—some stranger did. My mind started playing all of the worst possible scenarios. Was she unconscious? Dying?

Was she even at the hospital?

Was she even at the _local_ hospital?

She went to visit her brother—but that was in the morning. The drive back would take another four hours, meaning she was supposed to spy at Shadow's house around five.

It was seven-thirty.

Snow blanketed my windshield every five seconds, confirming that I was on a suicide mission. But by some miracle my car finally made it to Mercy Hospital. I dashed inside like a maniac.

"Where's Clarissa?" I asked. The nurse blinked at me like I was crazy. But I was—coated in snow, in nothing more than boots, a dress. "WHERE IS SHE?"

"Ma'am, you have to calm down," she flipped through some papers on the table. "Besides, visiting hours are over—"

I ignored her and bolted inside the space.

She could be—

She could be—

The hospital was relatively crowded, people were coughing up their lungs, and stretchers with patients were being rolled back and forth. I didn't know where I was, just that it reeked of disease.

Death.

"Clarissa!" I spun toward a bear in scrubs. "I'm sorry, but do you know where Clarissa Bobcat is?"

"Um..." he started thumbing through his charts. "Bobcat...Bobcat...I don't see her name."

"Do you know where she is or not?"

Maybe I had too much bite in my tone, because the doctor scoffed.

"Look, I'm not a tour guide, I have patients to tend to." His glare traveled to mine. "And general visiting hours are over. If you don't leave, I'll have to call security."

"There she is!" The nurse from before pointed at me. With a security guard at her side. Good to see my welcoming committee had arrived.

"But..." I inched back, but I knew there was no escape. "...My friend, there was a call, she's here and I—" Before I could babble on further, a hand pressed on my shoulder. I spun around and couldn't believe my eyes.

Well, I _could_. I just couldn't believe what Parker did next.

His pulled me into a kiss. It was nothing more than a peck. Just one that seemed to last for a blissful eternity. One that included tongue. And I think I was the one who started it. Before I could come to my senses, he released me.

Parker wiped his lips. "Sorry, she's my girlfriend. She has to give me a message. Must be flustered by the weather." His hands found my shoulders again. "Are you alright?"

"It's not me we should be worried about," I mumbled, watching the guards and other workers walk off. "It's my friend, Clarissa. She—"

"Nice to see you too." Parker smiled, charming and ageless as usual. He started flipping through his own file. "You said you have a friend here. Tell me, is it an emergency? Because this is the gynecology ward."

"It's an emergency."

"Okay, then let's head toward the ER." On the brisk walk through the hospital I briefed him about someone calling Clarissa's phone and the same someone mentioning the hospital. And on top of all of that uncertainty, whether she was okay or even breathing, I had no idea where she was.

"Well, this is the only hospital with an ER in the city," Parker said, contemplating this as we walked. "There are a lot of private practices in the area. So if your friend was in town at the time of her accident it is highly likely she's here."

We stopped at a reception-like area, where even more people were being rolled inside the building with stretchers. The environment was frantic, cold. I could barely take in what Parker was saying to the nurse when he nodded.

"She's here." He led me through another hallway, but I felt no relief.

"Is she okay?"

He didn't respond.

"_Parker_." He just kept walking, took my hand and quickened his pace. I took his eagerness for a good sign. It had to be.

He stopped abruptly. Looked at the door. Sighed before opening it.

And when he did, I walked into hell.

"_Clarissa_." She was lying in a hospital bed. Limp. Strapped to an IV. A bandage wrapped around her forehead. I touched her free arm. It was cold. Why was she cold? "What happened?"

On cue the door opened, and a woman in a lab coat walked in.

"Dr. Possum?" She then turned to me. "Miss? Are you friends with Miss Bobcat?"

"Yes," I said, walking up to the fox woman. "Is she okay?"

"She will be," she replied, checking Clarissa's temperature. "She's warming up."

"She's freezing," I countered. The doctor merely blinked at me, touched my hand.

"_You're_ freezing." She reached into a small closet behind the door. Threw a blanket at me. "Dr. Possum, please check her temperature while I tend to Miss Bobcat."

"I'm fine." I brushed him away. "Just tell me what happened to Clarissa."

"It appears that—" Dr. Fox's phone started ringing. She sighed. "Sorry, I have to take this." She left the room before I could stop her. She was arguing about a concussion.

"Shit," I said, cupping my face in my hands.

"Don't worry," Parker said, walking to Clarissa's side. "She's sedated. And it appears her head injury is minor. And her vital signs are steady."

"But how did this happen?" Tears were already beginning to pour from my eyes. I didn't know why I was playing dumb. She must have hurt herself while doing my bidding—my _pointless_ bidding.

"She'll be able to tell you when she wakes up," Parker said. "I'm sure Dr. Fox is very busy; maybe one of the nurses will know. But I can assure you that everything will be fine—"

"Look at her!" Part of me expected Clarissa to jump up from my outburst, but she remained as she was. Broken. And it was all my fault.

It was always my fault.

"Accidents happen," Optimistic Parker went on. He walked up to me, offered me a napkin. "And in no way is it your fault."

"You sure about that?" Only I didn't say that. I just bit my lip as hard as I could, surprised I wasn't drawing blood.

"It's a blizzard out there." Parker's indigo gaze fell to the snow-covered window. "You'll have to wait here. I'll instruct the nurses. But there's a vending machine down the hallway." He placed a twenty on the table. "I have to go. One of my patients is due for birth in a couple of hours."

"Thanks." However, I couldn't find relief in his efforts. I still didn't know why my best friend was lying lifeless. And things were supposed to be okay, but it was always a load of bullshit. Unfortunately, these were my positive thoughts.

"Is there anything else I can do for you?" Parker's eyes latched onto mine. I didn't want to look at him, but I didn't want to _not_ look at him either. And maybe it was the far less than ideal circumstances, because the fact angered me.

"You didn't have to kiss me," I found myself saying. This wasn't the time to be snarky—not to someone who had just helped me. Which was why I wasn't surprised when he walked off.

But not without turning back to me, the corner of his lip jerking upwards ever so slightly. It wasn't a smile. His eyes touched mine briefly.

"You didn't have to enjoy it."

* * *

I didn't know I was sleeping until I heard the door creek open. I should have welcomed my consciousness, I was pretty sure I was dreaming about burning in hell for what I had done to Clarissa. But instead I felt groggily; my back was stiff and my eyes were as heavy as the somber hospital atmosphere.

"Did I wake you?" It took a while to register the voice. It took longer to attach that voice to a face. I shifted from my chair and looked up.

"No," I lied to Parker, blinking myself alert. A yawn escaped me. "What time is it?"

"2:37 a.m."

"What are you doing awake so late?" My glance was on Clarissa. She was still limp, but she was sleeping. One of her nurses said she had collapsed, must of gotten a head injury while outside, and then was brought here. Another said that her sedatives would wear off in the morning. Her doctor hadn't said anything.

"Delivered a baby girl for one of my patients a few hours ago." He took a seat next to me, seemed to deflate from tiredness. "And I can't go home because of the storm."

"I can't believe you have to work so late," I said, turning toward him. I mean, a couple nights of the week I'd stay up to do court files when thoughts of Shadow or even Scourge kept me from sleeping, but you couldn't pay me to deliver a baby at midnight.

"Well, it's my job," the gray possum said with a smile. It wasn't less than perfect. I couldn't help but smile back. "What?"

"Nothing." I think my own tiredness was acting like some sort of drug. I was feeling a bit giddy, but it might have been the soda I had earlier. "Just thanks for being here, I guess."

"It's my pleasure."

He patted my hand, but his smile left his face. "Did you get into an argument with my dad?"

I was surprised that this caught me by surprise. Between the blizzard of life, the half-dead friend, and _him _being here I should have expected to be interrogated.

"I wouldn't go that far," I countered, slouching further in my chair. "It was just a clash of interests."

Parker nodded. "Would I be over stepping if I asked what theses 'interests' were?"

I glared at him; I didn't want to look mean but I wasn't feeling nice.

"_You're_ the interest."

"Oh."

I brushed a hand through my quills, but they were tangled. Messed up like this situation. "He keeps trying to set me up with you."

"That doesn't sound so bad."

He was lucky a glare couldn't kill.

"It isn't," I finally said with a sigh. "But he makes me feel hopeless." But who didn't?

"_Amy_."

"No, I don't want to hear it." I was looking at Clarissa again. Still unconscious. Still pitiful. All my fault. "It's true."

"He just wants what's best for you." He tilted my head in his direction. "So do I."

"But we don't even like each other," I said, shaking my head. "Not really. I mean, we _could _be a couple, but do you really feel any connection? You're a scientist. Just because we're reasonable doesn't mean we're compatible."

"True." His gaze found the ceiling. "But tell me, what attracted you to your relationships in the past? Are the reasons any more reasonable than where we are now?"

I blinked at him. Truthfully, I had no ground to my claims. Affection was as subjective as my confusing feelings. Maybe it was me. Maybe I had conditioned myself to only like males that either fucked with me or didn't give one.

"You're right," I finally said with a sigh. "What's wrong with me?"

"You're just too hard on yourself," Parker replied. "Do you blame yourself for your relationships failing in the past?"

"_Yes_."

"Well stop it," Parker said firmly.

"I can't."

"Have you been with anyone since you left?" He scratched his head boyishly, like he was a little embarrassed asking the question. But his glance was serious.

It was a simple question, but I had no idea how to reply.

If I were being honest, I would pretty much mean stepping all over his good and honest intentions. I had picked Shadow—would still pick Shadow even though he wanted nothing to do with me.

If I weren't honest?

"I think I like chasing people I can't have." I had no idea how much truth or falsity there was in my response. I sort of knew Sonic wanted nothing romantically to do with me. But then again, I never chased Scourge and Shadow. They let me in before ultimately shutting me out. Maybe it just felt safer the other way around? "After Scourge, I was in a very short relationship. I don't even think it's fair to even call it that. But it was with Shadow the Hedgehog."

"I see." His voice was filled with conviction, but his expression softened. And I felt like shattering. See? All I ever brought was pain.

"We didn't do anything," I defended, not quite sure why I was defending anything. "I haven't had sex in over four years."

"Damn."

I couldn't help but laugh. The sexual tension would explain the dreams. Why I didn't mind him kissing me earlier. Why I started kissing him now.

It was only fair—he had caught me off guard with his lips on more than one occasion. I pressed mine against his, brought him closer despite the arm of the chair blocking us. Soft pecks grew to hard, wet presses, and in seconds we were lip-locking shamelessly.

He drew a moan out of me before I moved to his neck. I dabbed him with kisses, drew a groan out of him, and moved until I was on his lap. I tilted my head downward, suckled on his ear.

"Be careful, Amy," Parker said, letting his hands roam along my curves, rub my chest. I gasped, pressed his hand harder against my left breast. "I might lose it."

"What if I want you to lose it?" I said kissing him again, letting my tongue glide against his warm neck. He groaned again. Placed my hand on his impending erection. I pressed my lips against his ear. "What are you going to do then?"

He cupped my face with his hand as he brought me into another kiss. His hips thrusted upward; he rubbed against that spot that made my brain feel like mush. I bit my lip.

"I'm going to—"

A snort of a snore interrupted our tryst.

I looked over my shoulder, saw a more animated (but still unconscious) Clarissa shift in her bed. Her progress was a pleasant sight, but it didn't stop my shame from hitting me like a rock.

"Sorry," I said in something of a whisper. I moved from his lap. "Sex deprivation is a disease."

"I guess it's good you came to a doctor." He smiled innocently, like I didn't try to jump his bones a second ago.

And because everything set me off, I couldn't help but stare at him. Couldn't help but wonder if I was more irritated with him or myself.

"Why do you like me?"

His smiled faded only slightly. He inhaled. Exhaled. "You remind me of my mother."

I didn't know if that was a compliment or creepy. I nodded slowly. "Okay..."

Parker shook his head. "It's not like that—I never really got to know her. She died when I was nine."

"Oh."

He sighed again. "Yeah, my dad said that you're spunky like her. And since he speaks so highly of you, I just thought..."

"That we'd be the perfect couple?" I answered. Parker shook his head.

"Not perfect—nothing is. It's just that, I don't know, my dad has done everything for me. I never really fared well with the ladies. I was a scrawny nerd growing up," he told me, looking down. "My body's gotten past that, but I guess I haven't mentally. But I've been trying to open up more. It's just easier with you."

"So you don't really like me." I concluded, letting my gaze touch Clarissa. She was soundless. So quiet that it made me wonder if her "snore" was some sort of supernatural intervention. But somehow I was thankful.

"Of course I do," Parker said after a while. He squeezed my hand; I could feel his positive energy radiate off him. "But maybe I have a problem too—maybe I try to appease people too much. I try to force them to see what's good for them." I let him cup my cheek, stroke it with his thumb. "But that doesn't mean it's in their best interest. Or mine."  
"But what if they don't know what's in their best interest?" I said, closing my eyes. My best interest was right in front of me. Parker. I should just let him in, do us both a favor. But I guess that was the problem. If I was viewing our possible union as something as trivial as a favor, was it really worth pursuing? Didn't he deserve better?

I squinted my eyes harder, allowed myself to get lost in his words, his reason. But somehow it didn't seem possible. It seemed like I was always making bad decisions. Which brought me to a conclusion—I couldn't be trusted.

"I think they know what's best for them deep down," Parker said after a while, still referring to me. "I guess we'll both know in time."

"I guess relationships are a load of bull," I sighed, reopening my eyes. "What do I do now?"

"Well," he pondered, tapping his chin. "We_ could_ continue."

"_Parker._"

"You're a prize, Amy Rose," Parker said with a sigh, "just not mine, I suppose." He rose from his chair. I blinked at him, suddenly feeling tired again. I had forgotten it was still freakishly late. And I probably still had work tomorrow.

"Where are you headed?"

He shrugged. "The gynecology ward. I might as well check on my patients." He put on his lab coat. "Care to come with me?"

I blinked again. "Why?"

"Babies."

Okay, it took everything not to follow him. I knew it was an invitation for this weird-lover-friend-relationship to continue. Even if he didn't realize it.

"Thanks, but I'll just stay and watch over Clarissa." I retook my seat. "Were you able to find out anymore information?"

"Unfortunately, no." The possum shook his head before his eyes widened slightly. "Wait, one of the nurses gave me her phone. Forgot to give it to her."

"Can I look at it?"

Parker pulled it from his lab coat and set it on the table beside her. He looked at me, nodded.

"No."

After planting a kiss on my head, he exited. Just like any chance of us being together. A small bout of relief hit me, until I unlocked the device. A picture flashed on the screen.

Shadow.

The box.

Mina.

* * *

What do you think so far?

Until next time,

KB


	9. Chapter 9

I'm back!

I know that next week is going to be really busy for me, so I wanted to put this update before then. I was originally going to only put up two chapters, but I want the next update to leave on a cliff hanger...so you're welcome. Again, thanks for your continued support. I also wanted to give a shout out to Cozy Shadow, Raquel the Writer, Angelinx, MistyVoid48, and Lady Miioh for your reviews on the last couple of chapters. Really appreciate it.

In any case, here are the new chaps. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 9**

A picture spoke a thousand words. And I knew that by default at least a few of them had to contradict what I saw. I mean, it could have been _anything_. Just because there were other tables and waiters in the dim background, didn't mean they were having a romantic dinner. Just because that box—that small box that could totally house an engagement ring—was on the table didn't mean it was for Mina. But what if it _was _an engagement ring?

My eyes widened. What if they were already married?

What if Rouge had been lying in a more horrible extreme?

I took in a deep breath, forced my attention on my work. Yes, I still had to go to work in the morning. The stupid snow cleaners decided to be efficient today of all days. I blinked my bloodshot eyes alert before stopping. I saw _them_ when I closed my eyes.

"You look horrible." I spun over my shoulder, saw Mr. Ferret come into view. He had a slightly bemused look on his face. "How's Clarissa?"

"Okay," I replied, placing a file in the DONE pile. It wasn't done. But I didn't want to look like I wasn't working. "She should be released in a day or two."

Parker told me that she was still sleeping, should be waking up in a matter of hours. But it was already past noon, which made me fear she actually was in a coma or something. Weren't people with head injuries not supposed to sleep? I shook my head, forced myself to dismiss these destructive thoughts.

"That's good to hear." He nodded. "I mean, with it being so close to Christmas, I wouldn't want there to be any tragedies. Clarissa's very important to the firm."

"You can stop by to see her," I offered, not entirely sure why. I hope I wasn't edging him on. I had no idea if Clarissa liked him. But she tended to like all things that were male and attractive. And rich. "Um, she would probably like that."

"Really?" He couldn't hide the joy in his eyes. But I think he realized it, and spun over his shoulder. Coughed into his fist. "Well, unfortunately I have some meetings to go to. But if you could get her something on my behalf I would appreciate it."

Before I could respond he slid me a couple of bills. Big bills.

"Um, what do you want me to do? Buy her a car?"

Mr. Ferret shrugged. "Whatever you think she'd want," he said, motioning to the door. " Hurry back. You still have work to do."

Oh goodie.

It was nice to see my law degree being put to work.

* * *

I shouldn't have been complaining. It was actually nice to get out of the office. It just wasn't nice fending off the tundra that was the outside, with no idea of what to look for. Or why I was actually out here.

I guess I wasn't the only one who had issues talking to people that I liked. But his situation was different—Clarissa would probably give him the time of day (and some other things he'd enjoy) if he fessed up. If I tried talking to Shadow?

He already had a significant other.

If only I could call Cream (if she didn't annoy me), or Rouge (if she didn't tease me), or Sally (if I didn't feel like she was judging me) for help. They would know. They would have also come to my rescue for something as trivial as finding a gift.

But gone were those times. Times that I wish I didn't throw away so carelessly. My only real friend was out of commission and I couldn't even find a gift for her.

"The money would make her happier." I decided as I walked into the hospital. If I slipped it into her purse there would be no questions. However, Mr. Thirsty would probably want to know where his money went, so...

"To the gift shop I go."

It was probably because it was the afternoon, because the space had cleared gastronomically since last night. However, it wasn't any more comforting. I had nothing against the ill; I just couldn't shake off the shame of indirectly putting someone in here.

With a cheep teddy bear in hand and slightly more relaxed spirits, I continued toward Clarissa's room. But each step only roped me back into this self-imposed madness. I mean, why couldn't Clarissa just encourage me to date Parker or something? Why did I let her let me do this to her?

I got lost in my mind (or the hospital, now that everyone had either left or died, it was like a maze) for a while. But another glimpse of the past was enough to bring me back to reality.

I saw him before he saw me—Silver. Time stopped until he turned, disappeared into another hallway. Then I could breathe again.

Did he see me? A thousand questions began to storm violently through my brain, as nausea consumed me. Hell, I guess this was the place for it. But I couldn't remain stagnant. If Silver was here, and looking very unhappy at that, there was a strong possibility that—

I didn't have to tell my feet to start moving.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. SHIT.

A brisk power-walk transformed into a full on sprint. I know; running through a hospital was dangerous and stupid. But then again, this was literally the place for it. I was almost at Clarissa's room when—like the nature of every encounter in my life—I clashed into someone. Hard.

No charming doctor could save me from toppling over. Until one did.

"Amy?" Parker said, pulling me up from my pathetic fall.

"Hello, again," I replied, dusting myself off. "Thanks."

"Anytime."

"Do you have any word on—"

"Clarissa?" Parker said. "I checked on her earlier. Her vital signs are fine." I nodded. I didn't speak doctor, but I could read the implication; she was still asleep. So no answers for me. I didn't deserve them anyway.

"You can still see her," Parker said, probably reading my expression. He flipped through the filed in his hands. "In any case, I have to go. Take care."

"You too." I was half tempted to watch him leave—to take further note of what a person who had their shit together looked like—but I had to deliver a teddy bear. Priorities.

When I entered the room, however, I was met with a fully conscious Clarissa. Okay, so she still looked like death—matted hair and fur, a bag of bags under her eyes, and an overall pasty complexion to top it all off—but she was alive.

"THEY WON'T LET ME OUT OF HERE," Clarissa said as I approached her side. She turned to me. "I hate hospitals."

"Everyone does."

"And right when I was _so_ close." She shook her head; I feared she'd unravel the bandage.

"_What_ happened?" I said, feeling dread and panic and more dread consume me. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have—"

"Save it." She held up her IV hand. "Nothing major. When I was leaving the restaurant—"

"Why where you at a restaurant?"

"Because when I was going to Shadow's house he was already in his driveway. So I followed."

"_And_?"

"You should probably stop interrupting me if you want a taste of the good stuff." She ironically reached for her pudding cup just then, took a bite. She grimaced. "Wow, it takes a lot to fuck up pudding."

"CLARISSA."

"FINE." She folded her arms, looked at the ceiling as she searched for her brain. In what felt like an eternity she turned to me. "I went after him. He met up with what's-her-face at _Olive Oil_. I didn't get to sit close enough to actually hear their conversation, but I did get a picture. Shadow had to leave early for some emergency. I waited for the waiter to give her change. She left. I left. Slipped on ice. Woke up here." She sighed. "Concise enough for you?"

"What was the picture of?" I had already seen it, but I didn't want her skimping on any on-the-scene details.

"The two of them," Clarissa said, confirming the obvious. She closed her eyes in a hard squint, hopefully to search for more details. I could kill her for almost killing herself, especially if her efforts were in vain. "He gave her a box. She looked...happy? I thought it was an engagement ring, but he didn't propose. But Shadow's not a flashy person. So I can't really say if I got any relevant info."

My stomach twisted with contempt. However, I didn't know who to direct it toward. Shadow for moving on. Mina for allowing him to move on with her. Clarissa for encouraging me to move on by moving on with the man who called us off in the first place. There was so much movement, but it seemed like my life was going nowhere.

"Alright." I took a seat, tried to calm my restless mind. "Thanks for trying anyway. Again, I'm sorry—"

"You have to learn to stop being so apologetic, Amy." Clarissa said, taking a hearty bite of her sandwich. "And who said anything's over yet?"

"I did," I replied, brushing a hand through my quills. "Maybe they're not getting married. Maybe they're not even dating. But they have their own lives. We do too when we're not stalking people. And now you're hurt." I shook my head. "Maybe this is just proof that—"

"Proof that what?" Clarissa's hazel eyes pressed against mine. "All we know is that Shadow and Mina know each other. Rumors from your _very_ awesome friends—which you should talk to more—say that they're dating. And as much as I want to be Rouge, I don't completely trust her about this."

I could only sigh as I considered her words. Words that was just as subjective as they were true. I didn't know anything. Secrets had a way of revealing themselves over time, but this wasn't one I could wait for. I needed to know. _Now._ And as pathetic as that sounded, I was finally okay with this idea.

A small smile found its way on my face. "I don't either." I tossed Clarissa the teddy bear. "From your secret admirer."

Clarissa rolled her eyes, but she couldn't hide the blush breaking out on her face. "I hate stuffed animals."

"Then here's ninety bucks."

"Yay!" she said, cuddling the money. "You know me so well—"

Just then, the catchy chime of a phone seized the air. I looked down. Saw Clarissa's phone glow on the table.

"Check it." The same dread from earlier consumed me. When it took too long for Clarissa to rise from her bed, I snatched it from the table. I'd like to say I was surprised.

But I wasn't.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

_ Message from Mina. _  
Not only was Mina apparently the savior of Clarissa's universe, she was also kind enough to invite her over. Yay.

Now, I meant that with both sarcasm and eagerness. Because I knew Clarissa wouldn't let me die under a rock before seeing—and ultimately confronting—the rock star. But a small part of me did want to see her. I couldn't remember the last time I saw Mina, just that her music career was taking off at the time. So I could only imagine how successful she was now. Especially now that Shadow was her muse...

"I can't believe it!" Clarissa's eyes were as bright as her cellphone screen. "Let's go!"

"You're hospitalized, remember?" I sighed as I examined Clarissa. Her head bandages had been removed, and other than a few bruises she looked fine. Like she could be checked out any moment, fine. Like we could see Mina any moment, fine.

Clarissa started rising from her bed. "Can you have Parker give us the okay or something? We can't waste time—Mina's on tour!"

To make matters worse, one of the nurses entered on cue. "Good to see that you're awake, Miss Bobcat." She grinned almost as widely as Clarissa. "Your charts look very good. Once Dr. Fox takes a look, you should be free to leave this evening." The nurse turned off the monitor and adjusted the bed before leaving.

"You heard her!" Clarissa was on her feet before I could blink. She was fully dressed too. Before I could blink again, we were in the hallway; the hospital scenery disappeared in a rapid blur.

"Don't we have work?" I countered. Correction, _I _still had work. Clarissa scoffed.

"This _is_ work."

* * *

Infiltrating a fancy-pants hotel (with daily room rates that ran as much as my monthly rent) didn't seem like work. It wasn't work, just like being an entertainer wasn't. I mean, I go off to professional school and Shadow has the audacity to hook up with a rock star? What, was he the only one who had the right to judge other people's decisions?

"Do you think we'll run into Shadow?" Clarissa's words were the quickest way to stop me in my tracks. Of course, she dragged me through the lobby of the Holly Hotel anyway. And everyone was apparently too rich to care that I was being abducted.

"If we do, I'll never forgive you," I said with a scoff.

"If we do, you should thank me." She pressed a button to the top floor on the elevator. "You realize if this were me, I would have jumped his bones a month ago."

"Good to know."

"I'm serious." Clarissa shook her head. "Do you know how sexy he is? And he _liked_ you. _You_."

I knew what she was doing; she was both insulting me and giving me hope. It was a quirk I actually appreciated, but it couldn't help the situation. I mean, if it were true—if Shadow genuinely liked me before—how could he let go of me so quickly? Or maybe that was it; maybe he did care about me fundamentally, but didn't want to get invested in something that would ultimately fail. If I knew that I could never truly be with Shadow, I think I'd spiral into my worst depression. I had been in a limbo for years now; I had gained comfort in this uncertainty. And meeting with Mina would only confirm what I couldn't handle. That Shadow had moved on.

Without me.

When the elevator opened, and I saw two bears blocking shiny double-doors, I knew we had reached the entrance to hell.

"State your name and business." The slightly more intimating one said. Clarissa showed them her trademarked text before going on a spiel about Mina saving her life and being God's gift to the universe. They didn't look as convinced as they were bored with her explanation. With a "what's the worse thing these weak-ass females could do?" expression, they began to speak into their headsets. Within seconds the doors clicked open.

"Enjoy your visit." They nodded, smiling. But they were more like, "remember we can literally kill you with our bear hands" grins. We shuffled in quickly. The space was as one could expect. Modern where everything was supposed to be modern and traditional in all the pieces that were supposed to look expensive. There was a living space, and several doors leading to probably equally fancy-looking rooms.

"Amy?" I heard Mina before I saw her. And when I did, I wished I hadn't. If her voice was prettier than me, then her beauty was beyond description. She looked flawless—in perfect shape, in the most trendy but comfortable outfit I had ever seen—yet earthy and effortless, like her appearance was merely outer projection of how beautiful she was on the inside. Her smile radiated in her green sunshine eyes. "I haven't seen you in forever!" She brought me into an embrace, and I could immediately understand why Shadow fell her._ I _was falling for her. When she released (I almost didn't want her to) she turned to Clarissa. "Are you doing alright? It's Clarissa, isn't it?"

"OH MY GOD, did_ Mina the Mongoose _just _address _me?" She started shaking the girl's hand like a mad woman. "Thank you so much for saving me!"

"Don't thank me," the celebrity dismissed, bringing her into an embrace. "I was honestly just admiring the snow when I saw you. It was as accidental as the fall, but I'm so glad you're okay." She motioned toward the room/mini-mansion. "Sit! I have a little time before rehearsal. And it's always nice talking to some fresh faces." She motioned to a guard (this one female, I think) to bring some snacks. The whole atmosphere was light and bouncy, like Mina's dark-lavender locks. But I felt no ease, and tried my best not to show it.

"So, what were you doing before you stumbled upon me?" Clarissa said, popping a cracker into her mouth. "I was at a restaurant earlier_. _But my date stood me up, sort of left angrily. Probably explains why I fell!" As Clarissa laughed lightly I felt a little better. _There you go, be helpful. _

"I was just leaving a restaurant, too!" Mina announced. Fortunately, it didn't look like she was making a connection. She grinned harder. "Also a date."

It took everything not to strangle—I meant, _ask_—Mina for answers.

Clarissa beamed. "_Really? _Who are you dating?"

Time froze as I stared at Mina. This was the moment of truth. The moment that would finally kill me. However, Mina's expression fell slightly. I blinked at her. Was that a good sign? Bad?

She shrugged. "I doubt you'd say anything to the tabloids, but I can't confirm anything. I try to stay as low-profile as possible." She began twirling a strand of her hair. "It may surprise you, but I'm not as secure as a lot of other entertainers. I still like being able to walk the streets or go to a boyfriend's house without a full-blown disguise," she said with a sigh. "But I don't know why I'm complaining. That's nothing."

My brain surged as I tried to make sense of her words. She didn't say she had a boyfriend. Didn't imply that the date was more than a friendly encounter. Maybe she just had a crush on Shadow—maybe they were just friends. I couldn't be the only one in the universe who fell victim to a one-sided relationship. Maybe there was a chance.

But optimism was hard to stick. My brain then digested the second part of her words. "Wait, why is your freedom nothing? Compared to what?" I clamped my mouth. Maybe I was being too invasive. "Sorry if I'm over-stepping. We're lawyers."

Mina wrinkled her nose before continuing. "Oh, no problem. It's just that long distance sucks way more than sneaking around. We see each other enough; I mean we've been together for a year. But for guy as good as he is in the sack, we don't do it often." My eyes widened.

"So you _do _have a boyfriend." Clarissa sounded excited but her expression overcompensated. I know what it was trying to say—that coming here was a big mistake. If I could breathe, I would have sighed. Glad we were finally on the same page.

Mina started blushing. "It's that obvious, huh?" She stayed like that, in a lover's bliss, for some seconds. But it was too long. The musician ironically wasn't being vocal. Prying was getting us nowhere, and we couldn't kick her ass for answers with her homicide squad around. And I didn't want to anyway. I had to stop intruding on people's happiness. I rose to my feet.

"Thanks again for saving Clarissa. Here's a gift of our gratitude." I handed her the teddy bear Clarissa had rejected. Mina smiled harder. Naturally, it was genuine.

"Yeah, thanks a ton. It was _so _awesome meeting you!" The two girls embraced again, started gapping about fate and music. I droned out practically the second it started, until reality hit me. And it hit me so hard that I was surprised I was still standing.

_Long distance?_

I tried to think through this minute thought, but my mind started surging again. Shadow and Mina were in a long distance relationship? Then why did he reject me? Why was _she _the exception? The room started spinning and suddenly everything became unbearable.

"Let's go." I somehow found the words to say. My throat was tight, burning like my eyes filling with even hotter tears.

"But we didn't take a picture!" Clarissa pouted. My grip hardened on her arm, and I pulled her to her feet. But I couldn't look at Mina. I kept my gaze to the ground, started moving.

"Oh, get in here!" Mina pulled us in together and took the selfie with Clarissa's phone. I tried to remove the pain in my smile. But my heart was shattered—it had been shattered for a long time. And now the pieces had come back to stab me.

Clarissa and Mina exchanged good-byes, but I was already out of the door. My hands balled into fists as I choked on a sob. Forget Shadow.

I could never forgive him.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"Quit it with the resting-bitch face." Clarissa said, taking a seat next to me for the annual holiday meeting. She handed me a coffee. "I mean, it's been weeks. If you keep frowning like that, you're gonna get wrinkles."

"Well, I'm gonna be a spinster anyway." I took a sip. Grimaced. "I hate egg-nog."

"And holiday joy apparently." Pauline said with a snicker. "Don't blame you though. It's two days before Christmas and we're still at work."

"I heard that," President Ferret said, before declining on his seat in the far end of the room. Behind him was a window that showed a winter wonderland a world below. With even happier people bustling through the streets. Ugh, why did everyone else have lives?

"Anyway, my apologies for running late," Ferret said, adjusting his collar. His orange eyes then fell to the projection screen before us. He started going on about the past year's successes and goals for the following months. The information was important, but it was hard to listen. Whatever funk I was in was as funky as they came. And not the good type of funky. I mean, I wasn't even dreaming about Shadow—_Light_—anymore. And although this was probably a good sign, I didn't feel any better. Or more sane. Then again, sane people didn't reject handsome doctors or dread meeting rock stars. Even if said rock star was with the man I loved.

My heart stopped. _Love? _How could I even associate that word with Shadow? Was that why this situation was unbearable? How could I decide this without realizing—

"Miss Rose?" Reality had a fun way of intervening on my unfortunate thoughts. I should have welcomed it, but I could quickly feel myself becoming a spectacle. My eyes feel to the projector, my brain processed the words of my employer.

"Um, I suggest we go forward with the plan to take on bigger clients." I was met with silence. "If that's what you were asking." I added. I rose my cup. "Sorry. Egg-nog." A few giggles filled the air. I pretended to breathe.

"Glad to have your insight," President Ferret was smiling, but I convinced myself it was out of contempt. When he winked, I knew it was with the intent to fire me. "Finally, I just wanted to say that on your break you should still tend to clients if the opportunity arises. However, there is no expectation to come into the office. When you come back, I plan for there to be a few promotions in the spring. Any questions?"

If we weren't trying to act professional, people would have already raced through the door. Ferret nodded. "Then meeting adjourned."

"Finally," Clarissa said with a sigh. "Time for momma to kick back and do nothing. What are your plans?"

"I still have to meet up with a few clients at the office at Merriment," I replied, looking at my watch. Two in the afternoon. "Then I can do nothing with you."

"Souns gwood." Clarissa said, mid bite of a gingerbread cookie. "I'll be cooking. So come with an appetite." She was already at the door. And then I realized I was the only one sitting. The only one actually in the room. A true testament to the fact I didn't have a life.

"What are we, an old married couple?" But she was already gone. Maybe to go shack up with our boss. He seemed pretty happy. Everyone did.

It was the holidays, and as usual I had nothing to celebrate. And no, I wasn't being morbid. It just so happened that the truth _was_ morbid.

* * *

It was funny how life could just continue. As I drove the snowy streets back home, it seemed so strange that people like Shadow or even Scourge were living their own lives. Not caring about me. Probably not even thinking about me. We could have never crossed paths romantically—I could have lived my entire life never considering them as anymore than a familiar face, an indirect friend or foe.

Yet, for the past three-four years, I thought about them on a daily basis. I wanted a future with my past so bad that I lost track of the present. I lost track of myself.

"They don't care." Yes, that's what I had to tell myself. I had to move on—find someone new. And that person wasn't Parker; he made me think of them. Nope, I just needed a new guy. Just like I needed to move on.

"I'm moving on," I said in a whisper, as I started for my apartment. Darkness had already colored the winter sky, but I didn't mind it. The day was ending, just like my obsession. Maybe I was getting out of my funk—and I didn't even need Clarissa to lecture it out of me.

"I'm moving on." I was chanting it now. With a nod, I opened the door to my apartment. Christmas music hit me full blast; I was half-surprised I didn't hear it from outside. But I was baffled when my eyes examined the scene before me.

Friends. Food. Christmas decorations.

Happiness?

"The hell?" The words left my mouth before I realized I said them. Before more obscenities could escape, lips latched onto mine. I mistook them for Parker's, until I tasted mint lip-gloss. Clarissa departed with a loud smack. Cheering erupted. Mostly male.

"_Hell-_o to you too." Clarissa kissed me again. "You like?"

I felt dazed; I couldn't tell if she was talking about herself or the mistletoe or the Christmas party. You know, the one I wasn't invited to. At _my_ apartment. "What's going on?"

"Cheer up, Ames," Sonic said with his million-dollar smile, patting my back. "The party's going great."

"_But._" Before I could make sense of this merriment and madness, I was dragged into the kitchen. "What the hell, Clarissa?"

"Broken record, much?" Clarissa said, before handing me a plate. "Here, eat something. Go mingle. Have fun, would ya?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" I said with a sigh. I peered into the living room. Saw Knuckles and Rouge yelling at something on the TV. Sonic and Sally were dancing like the perfect couple they were in the hallway. There were a few other faces I couldn't attach names to from work, of which Parker was conversing with. One of them was President Ferret. Yes, even our _boss_ was here.

"How many people did you invite?" I asked, pinching the skin between my eyes.

"Just our closest friends." Clarissa replied, pouring some chips into a bowl. "Though I'm pretty sure Tails and Cream are doing it in your bathroom."

"_Wonderful._"

"Look, I wanted to tell you, but I knew you'd say no."

"You're damn right." I crossed my arms; I tried to suppress my anger, but it was consuming me by the second. I got it, I was the bitter bitch. But how could she not care to ask me? I gritted my teeth. "What, does everyone think they're doing me a favor by disregarding my feelings?"

Clarissa scoffed. "_All_ I ever do is regard your feelings. Everything I do is to make you feel better about yourself. God, why do you keep fighting your friends?"

"Because they do STUPID things like this, then BLAME me for being upset." I clenched my fists. "You made me seek out Shadow when I didn't want to." My voice lowered into a harsh whisper. "Well, guess what? He's unavailable. And I was happier not knowing that he accepted Mina on the same grounds that he rejected me." I shook my head, rejected the positive holiday atmosphere or the idea of upsetting Clarissa. "And now you want me to ignore my feelings just to enjoy your damn party?"

Clarissa just blinked at me—I couldn't tell if it were because of her or me. My claims were as valid as they were pathetic. I could see it in her eyes; she thought I was pathetic. There was a toxic pause, then it broke just as quickly as it came, and she started for the living space. And I knew that I had fucked up.

"_Clarissa_." I stopped in my tracks when I noticed them. Silver. Blaze. They were already settled with Knuckles and Rouge. The hostess of the hour was offering them snacks. _My_ snacks. It was funny how empty I could feel in a house full of friends. It wasn't them. It was me.

Something was always wrong with me.

* * *

I said something was wrong with me.

Because I was here. At Shadow's house. Waiting for something, I guess. For closed doors to finally open. The lights were on, however. And through one of the windows I could see him. I couldn't tell what he was doing, but his gaze was focused and harsh, like always. Then he stopped. He was looking at me. It felt like an eternity, but I couldn't find the will to blink. Just when I remembered to breathe, a silhouette blocked my view. Female. Graceful. Mina.

That's right.

I didn't belong here.

* * *

I stumbled upon Avalon's Tavern a minute before midnight.

I didn't want to talk to Phil. But then again, I had no friends. That's right, I was unworthy of being Phil's friend. When I sat down, he welcomed me with a reassuring smile. Which reassured me that I had made a mistake. _I should have killed myself on the way here._

"Long time no see." Phil said, wiping a glass.

"Hi."

"Unfortunately most of the holiday-loners left. Gotta rest up for Santa, I guess."

"Good to know."

"Amy, I'm drowning here." He set the glass down next to the others on a tray. "What's wrong?"

"Just about everything." I exhaled. "I pissed off Clarissa. Who's only offense was throwing a tasteful Christmas party at our apartment. I'm surprised you weren't invited."

Phil shrugged. "I was. But unfortunately I can't ignore the business this time of year."

"Well, that makes one of us."

Phil sighed lightly. "Let me make you something. You must be hungry."

"No," I lied. "But thank you."

Phil didn't look convinced. "Is there something you're not telling me? Parker mentioned that the same friend was in the hospital. Is she okay now?"

"She's with the company of all my friends," I replied. "Parker's there too. So I think they're doing just fine without me."

"Come on, Amy." Phil shook his head. "You know that regardless of any spat you had that they want you there. So why don't you tell me what's actually bothering you?"

My gaze met Phil's. He was wiser than I could ever be. More empathetic than anyone I knew. For those reasons alone I should have opened up years ago. I blinked when he moved from the counter, took a seat on the adjacent stool. He brought out his hand.

"You can always tell me anything." He offered me a fatherly smile, and my heart swelled like my eyes with tears. I took his hand.

"Can I really?" When he nodded, I found myself spilling everything. My relationship with Scourge. The ups. The girl who got in the way. The months proceeding. The false pregnancy. The depression. Meeting Parker. Our date from hell. Wanting to get closure from Scourge. My short relationship with Shadow that resulted.

Returning here. Clarissa's mission to get him back. Her accident. Almost fucking Parker. Meeting Shadow's girlfriend. Discovering the grounds of our break-up was invalid. Everything.

When I looked up at Phil, I couldn't explain how I felt. I wanted to say I was relieved, but the confession wouldn't change anything. I was still pathetic. And now he knew the full extent of my pathetic-ness.

"I didn't know there was that much to the story." Phil replied. Surprisingly, he didn't look offended or anything, just contemplative. "I can see why you're so conflicted."

"Thank you."

"But in all honesty, it just seems like you are having an issue letting go of your past. There are so many things left uncertain, and it seems like the only one who can give you answers isn't worth pursuing."

My eyes widened. "Are you talking about—"

"Shadow." Phil shook his head. "He was in contact with Scourge, yet he didn't tell you why he left you. I mean, there is a strong possibility that he doesn't know either, but what he's doing now is no better."

I bit my lip. "What are you suggesting?"

"That you move on," he replied, rising to his feet. "Find another guy. Who could still be Parker from what you said." I wanted to rub the smug grin off his face.

I scoffed. "I thought fathers weren't supposed to encourage fornication."

"I only encourage love." He opened the fridge. Tossed me a wrapped sandwich before my stomach started grumbling. "Parker's been in a good mood since around that time. I don't think it's a coincidence."

"Good to know I'm not the only hard-headed one."

"I'm serious about moving on though," Phil said. "Life's a stage. Remember that there was a time when you were just as conflicted over Sonic."

"Don't remind me..." I said, putting my shamed head on the counter.

"You don't even have to pursue a relationship now. Just reconcile with some of your friends. Do something fun. Focus on you."

"But I'm unbearable."

Phil gave me one of those "Are you really going to shit on the progress we just made?" looks and I finally cracked a smile.

"Okay. Okay. _Okay._" I rose to my feet, straddled my purse over my shoulder. "I'll go find a life."

"Please."

I started for the door, but not without giving Phil a hug. "Thank you."

Hopefully my other relationships would mend as easily.


	12. Chapter 12

Hey, friends!

Sorry for the delay in the update. I should probably put up an update schedule, but I guess my goal is to have one every few days or at least every week from the last update. Okay, I think that's fair.

Again, I just want to thank you all for your reviews. Also, don't feel afraid to offer criticism. I liked the feedback from chapter 11, where you asked if Shadow saw Amy when she was at his house. Long story short, I wrote it with the thought that he didn't see her. He was sort of looking through her, or at Mina because of his angle, and it was not until she moved closer that Amy realized that he wasn't looking at her, but rather Mina. I don't know if that makes sense, but that was the intention. But don't worry, you'll get a taste of Shads pretty soon. :)

So read on!

* * *

**Chapter 12**

Maybe it was just me, but I was actually glad to go back to work.

Self-reflection sucked as much as the weather. And although I was no longer feeling bitter or pitiful, sitting around in the apartment got boring a week ago. Keeping busy would keep me happy.

At least, that was the lie I was telling myself.

I ripped off the old dates from my desk calendar. It was only mid-January, but New Years optimism had faded quickly. The office was bustling, and suddenly everyone seemed more concerned about work than returning Christmas gifts or maintaining weight-loss goals.

"Hey, Amy," Pauline said. "Mr. Turtle wanted you to look at these files." She set a hard stack on top of my desk. "Happy new client season."

"_Yay_."

"I know you're being sarcastic, but you seem happier." Her brown eyes lit up as a smirk found its way on her face. "Did you meet someone?"

I scoffed before grinning. "You wish. But I'm more open to the idea of dating now, I guess." As Pauline started listing off all the bachelors she knew (and boy, did she know a lot), a hand knocked on my desk. My eyes shot upward. Clarissa.

"You should get back to work." She was trying to look indifferent but I could feel the tension surrounding us. We hadn't actually spoken in over a week. And she was probably waiting for me to apologize; I should just apologize. But before I could open my mouth, President Ferret came into view.

"Good to see everyone's working hard." He smiled. I spun over my shoulder, saw that Pauline was actually on the phone with a client. Clarissa had also disappeared from sight. "Could I have a minute, Miss Rose?" He motioned for me to follow him into his office.

Normally, I would have felt anxious. But things were actually going well for once. I had landed two clients just this week and resolved a big contract error. When he didn't ask me to take a seat, I felt even better. He stopped in front of his desk before crossing his arms. His eyes latched onto mine.

"You had one job."

I blinked. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, Amy," he said, shaking his head. Wait, when were we on a first name basis? "If I have to tell you, then that just confirms how much you don't want your job."

"W-what?" Reality hit me like a brick. "Are you talking about Clarissa?" His hard expression didn't shift.

"I'm talking about you."

I gulped, tried my best to keep my posture and stand my ground. But I didn't know what ground I was on. "What did I do?"

President Ferret sighed. "You've done everything you're supposed to, I guess." He rubbed his chin with his thumb. "But that's the problem."

"I don't follow."

His gaze pierced mine again. "Do you want to work here?"

I fought the urge to hiss. "Of course I do!"

"Then tell me this," he began, moving closer to me. His presence eclipsed over mine. I didn't realize he was so tall when he leaned closer to me. I also didn't realize he was so menacing when his orange gaze pierced through mine. "When a boss makes a simple request, direct or indirect, an active employee would act on it. They wouldn't draw it out, only to lose their chance."

The only thing I could do was raise a brow. What the hell was he talking about? So what if he liked Clarissa? What did he want me to do? Play matchmaker? My eyes widened. Holy shit.

He wanted me to play matchmaker.

Or rather, he thought I was already on his side. That I was advocating their relationship. Why he didn't just ask her out like a man? It had to be because he was testing me. If I really wanted to be in his good graces—just like a lawyer to a judge—I was supposed to pick up on unspoken cues. Law 101.

And I had failed.

I shook my head. But that didn't completely make sense. He wouldn't be mad unless I also _wasn't_ doing my job—which I was, and well at that. It had to be something bigger than me.

I sighed. "I'm guessing Clarissa isn't interested, or is with someone else."

Ferret smiled, but it was glimmering with contempt. Then it faded. Just like I wished this uneven conversation would. "You don't even know the relationship status of your best friend _and_ roommate?"

"If you haven't noticed, we haven't exactly been on good terms lately," I said. This was ridiculous. Mr. Ferret was my _boss_. How the hell did I get trapped into discussing relationships with him?

"It's not only that," he said. "You've been distant for weeks now. Is there anything in your personal life that is hindering your performance?"

"What are you talking about?" It took everything not to lash out. Why did people pick and choose what version of me they wanted to see? Why couldn't they see that I was really trying now?

I took a breath before turning back to Mr. Ferret. "You know that I've been doing a good job."

"Unfortunately, good isn't good enough. You were in the top five of your class. And your high performance at your internship at UMerc was one of the deciding factors in hiring you." He shook his head. "You were supposed to be better than Clarissa. Be promoted in a few years as one of the execs because you were that good. You're compassion that I saw there was something that I had never seen before. Yet you—"

"I get it, okay?" I bit my lip, fought the tears threatening to spill from my eyes. If I cried, I would just be reinforcing how unprofessional I apparently was. If I cried, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. "I can't fit the mold that you want me to. But I _want_ to be here."

"Well, I honestly can't say the same." He handed me a file from his desk. My heart dropped to the floor. "I'm transferring you to one of the firms out of town. It's family-law. I think something a little smaller would suit you."

I couldn't speak. If I did, I'd lose myself completely. So I just took the file from him and headed for the door.

"I hope you find what you need, Amy."

* * *

So it was official.

I was ruining my life.

I collected my coat, my bag. Gave a fake smile to Pauline before starting my walk of shame. My gaze should have stayed in front of me, but I was in the business of self-destruction. To my left, there was a meeting going on in the conference room. Some of the execs and other lawyers I didn't recognize where smiling, laughing. The person responsible for their high spirits?

_Sonic?_

A hiss escaped my lips as I saw Clarissa come in to join them. I was supposed to be her, wasn't I? I was supposed to be closing whatever endorsement deal Sonic was making. Instead, I was leaving. I was leaving and I didn't even have anything to take with me. That was how little of a mark I had made here. I opened the door with a sigh.

So be it.

A rush of cold air hit me. This fact discerned me (I was still in the building) until I looked up.

"What are you doing out here?" Sonic blinked at me.

"I could ask you the same thing," I said, masking any emotion I felt. But this was a mistake. Sonic's expression fell. "I just saw you in there." He scratched his head. "I sort of expected you to drop by." His gaze —suddenly critical—seized mine. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." I shrugged. "I have to go pick up some patent files. I didn't want to interrupt—"

"Don't lie to me, Ames."

I bit my lip, turned to the window before sighing. "I've been transferred to one of the other offices. I guess it's for the best."

"Are you sure?" Sonic folded his arms. "You don't sound very happy."

"Because I'm not." I sighed. "I mean, it's not really a demotion. It's just not what I expected." I shook my head. "_None of this is_."

"What do you mean?" But the look in his eyes told me he was aware of everything. Well, not _everything_. Just that I was a shadow of my former self. And even if I had Shadow, I didn't know if I'd be better for it. Maybe it was just me. Maybe I was just destined to crap on my potential. Maybe that's why I could never get my priorities straight.

"Go back to your meeting," I said, allowing myself to smile slightly. "Sounded like things were going well. Hate to be the party-pooper."

"Ames."

"I'll be okay." I nodded. "I'm actually more upset with Parker," I said, fabricating a lie to get the blue blur off my back. "We got into an argument about Clarissa's accident. It was dumb. But I was just about to call him."

"So you two are finally dating again?" Sonic was smirking genuinely now. And that's all I could ask for.

I scoffed. "I didn't say that."

"But you didn't _not _say that."

"Whatever." I motioned toward the door. "Go."

With a reluctant nod, Sonic finally moved to the door. "Alright. I'll call you," he said. "Sally's at the gym if you wanna talk. Or punch something."

"I might have to take you up on that offer."

* * *

I really did want to punch the crap out of life.

It seemed like I was always being punished for something. But I knew I had no merit to that claim either. I mean, I had good health and friends that honestly cared about me. I had a job (I guess) and one arguably perfect dating prospect.

I was supposed to be happy.

I was supposed to get over myself.

Then why couldn't I? Even Phil said I should just move on—and I wanted to. But it didn't seem that simple. It seemed like everyone had his or her two cents about what was wrong with me without really listening. And I know Phil listened to me, but he just told me what I already knew; everyone told me what I already knew.

_Except Shadow. _

I clenched my fist as I walked through Merriment Plaza. Home was too depressing; the air was toxic with my residential bitter thoughts. Here? It wasn't any better. But this town was quiet, and the mall district was the closest thing to a storm.

It was more like a winter storm, however. The shopping season was over, so the streets were as tame as the snow would allow. Store lights hummed to life under thin films of white ice. Every once in a while a cute couple would pass by, chilling my body (okay, my heart) even more than the weather.

"Free smoothies! Get one smoothie free!" A voice spoke over an intercom. I turned toward my old regular, Smoothie Junction.

"Who the fuck wants a smoothie in a blizzard?" It was actually a warmer winter day, but the sun was already beginning to set, so it really was cold as fuck. But like any sane person, I liked free, so of course I walked in.

"Buy one sandwich, get one smoothie free!"

"Fuck," I said. Only, I wasn't responding to the fact that I had been gypped. My eyes locked onto Cream. Wearing her dumb work uniform. She had bad luck with work uniforms.

We stood there in a gridlock. I wasn't surprised, just annoyed. Annoyed that I forgot she worked here. Annoyed this she _still_ worked her. Annoyed that she could keep a stable job. Annoyed that stable wasn't a word in my vocabulary.

"If you're going to talk like a sailor, Red Crab is up the road." Cream turned her attention to the counter she was wiping. "This is a popular family establishment."

I didn't have to look around to see that no one was here. I guess I was the only gullible one. "Said the girl who fucked a guy in my bathroom."

Cream's head snapped up. She narrowed her eyes at me. "Said the girl who fucked Scourge."

If I weren't so exhausted with life I would have annihilated her with a glare. I shrugged. "Touché."

Her expression softened slightly, but she turned to the cash register before I could make much of it. "So are you just here to watch me work, or are you going to order something?"

"Why _do_ you still work here?" I said, folding my arms. "Aren't you getting your fancy-pants Ph.D soon?"

"Try three years." She sighed. "I created a nearly automatic smoothie machine. And I own this particular franchise."

"Well, good to see you're moving up the corporate ladder."

"Like you care about what's good for me."

"You know, it's ironic," I said moving to the register. "You say I'm the bitter one, but you're the only one acting like a bitch here."

"Takes one to know one."

"Fine." Any true irritation had seeped out of my body at work—the place I _used_ to work. "Then tell me the reasons you have for your animosity toward me. I won't fight back."

Cream blinked at me before scoffing. "You think my feelings are that technical? I can't just list off the things you've done to piss me off. It's much deeper than that."

My heart fell lightly. Sonic made it seem like having a frank conversation would make everything go back to normal. Or at least become bearable. How was I supposed to make amends when even they were against it?

"Whatever," I said, rising from my seat. "Maybe coming here was a mistake."

"It was," Cream replied. "So why don't you order something so we can talk about _both_ of our mistakes?"

I hissed. "You sure? You might feel like a huge asshole afterward."

"Or you might." She was grinning. Hopefully, what I had to say wouldn't remove it.

* * *

Okay, so Cream the Scientist wasn't deceptive enough to ask about Shadow. Let alone figure out we were even involved. Part of me regretted not coming clean, but when she started talking about Tails, all regret evaporated.

"I know this is hard to believe, but I'm not the first person Tails dated," she had said. "Some girl who worked in his lab had made a move on him, and I thought it was too late. But then it occurred to me that it's never too late—_and_ Rouge said that unless they're married, you're not doing anything wrong by interjecting.

"That is—" Cream had stopped, took a bite of the food she decided I bought for her. "—if you know the guy is The One. Tails is that for me. Have you found yours?"

"I found him," I replied to the wind. Then I knocked on his door.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

The One didn't answer the door.

And with the knock, reality knocked its way back into my brain. I thought of Mina, how much of a fool I'd look like if she were on the other side. But because I was an idiot, I knocked again. Harder.

I sighed, noticed how dark everything was on the inside, and how much it looked like he wasn't here. He probably wasn't here. My hand latched over the doorknob. I didn't want to over-step, but I had crossed the line by just being here—by attempting to claim what was never mine.

But the line between curiosity and desperation was blurred. So I turned it. Didn't know whether to feel better or worse when it actually budged. I bit my lip._ Now_, I was crossing the line. I took a small step inside, was surprised how safe and nostalgic I felt in a home I had only visited occasionally, that was also in the dark.

The darkness disappeared in an instant though. And before me stood none other than Shadow.

He looked at me with unbemused eyes, his expression shockingly stoic. He looked the same. Like I had never left him, like we could go back to normal. I had so much to say, but the words jumbled together into a knot in my throat. Inhaling the uncertain air between us, I sharpened my gaze against his.

"You should lock your door," was the only concrete sentence I could make. Not, "Why did you reject me for Mina?" or "Do you still love me?" Nope. I just pointed out that the Ultimate Lifeform should beware of petty burglars. Or dumb fan girls.

"I'm capable of dealing with intruders," he spoke, folding his arms over his chest. His crimson eyes then hit mine. But as usual, I couldn't read them. "To what do I owe this intrusion?"

My heart, if it already wasn't on fire before, began to beat rapidly. What was I supposed to say? What _could_ I say?

"Shadow..." I pressed my lips together. "...How have you been?"

"I've been well," he said. "Although, it seems you could have asked me this with a postcard."

"I wanted to see you." My words came out in a rush. I shook my head. "I've been here for a few months. Been getting settled with my job." I shook my head again. _Get on with it. _"But I want to get back together."

Shadow's brow rose slightly. And I couldn't breathe. "We were barely together in the first place."

"I know." I moved closer to him. We were inches away, yet a world apart. I didn't remember feeling this distant even during the break-up. "But it's been a long time, and I've been doing a lot of reflecting." I allowed myself to place my hands on his shoulders. I considered it a good sign that he didn't move out of my grip. Or maybe he was just humoring me; I _was_ love's laughing-stock. "I want you, Shadow. I want to live my life with you." I moved closer, felt his warm breath on my face. I closed my eyes. "Forever."

"Under what criteria?" His hands gripped my wrists, pulled them down. "Mine or yours?"

"Can you stop acting like Mr. Doom and Gloom for five seconds?" I hissed, clenching my fists. "I'm pouring my heart out to you! And you _know _that isn't easy for me."

"Which is what alarms me." He shook his head. "It's been years, Rose. I thought by now you'd understand why we could never work out." My eyes widened.

_Never?_

"And why not?" I spat. I was heaving; my chest was heavy with disgust. Disgust in him for not letting me in already. Disgust in myself for being so affected by everything. While Shadow could stand there (looking only _a little _more irritated than usual) as he rejected me flat out. For the second time.

"Is it because of Mina?" I found myself saying. "Is she your only exception?"

Shadow narrowed his eyes at me. "You have no idea what you're talking about." Before I could respond, he took hold of my arm again. "Now leave."

"Not until you tell me why!" I yanked my arm away, but it was a futile effort. He overpowered me with strength and in composure. But it didn't stop me from shaking my head and forcing my ground like the manic intruder I was. "Just tell me. _Please_."

His grip lightened, but he literally had me pressed against the wall. He pressed his lips together, looked at me with a look that was hostile, yet contemplative. But because I was on a mission of irreparable destruction, I cupped his face with my free hand. And crashed my lips against his.

I knew he would reject me. Throw me off him like the needy whore I was. But he sealed the gap between us. I opened my mouth wider, kissed him hungrily and lovingly and with everything I had. His hands moved to my hips. Mine clawed their way to his back; I didn't want to let him go.

And he wanted it, right? I was locked in his embrace. I kissed him harder, and our tongues danced a forbidden dance. A moan escaped me as he lifted me up with his strong arms. My hands roamed though his quills. He roared.

"I missed you," I whispered between kisses. "I _want_ you." Everything was hot; my body lit on fire as his hands—his destructive hands—assaulted my curves. When he started sucking on my neck, I almost lost it.

"_Shadow_." Our bodies were grinding against each other; he was making contact with that part of me that...that made that sensation that felt too good to be real. I held onto to him, continued our lustful dance, choked on a moan until his neck kisses trailed upward and he seized me in another lip-lock. I brought his hand to my breast, squirmed underneath him when he squeezed it.

"_Rose._" He pecked my lips. Through lidded eyes I watched him continue his sweet torture. "_Rose,_ we have to—" I bit his ear.

"_Fuck me_."

My senses were over-loading as he ripped off my bra. My fingers traveled along his hard body. He hitched my skirt up, kissed me again and I drank him up. For once, nothing mattered. I was with the person I loved. I secured my hands on his back, missing the feeling of his security. Of his love, even if he wouldn't admit it to me. I allowed myself to get lost in the sensation of being found.

It was perfect.

Then it stopped.

I looked up at him with glazed eyes. It took me a moment to register that we were in his bedroom. On his bed. His palms were pressed against it as he looked down at me. My mouth parted as I stared back, panting.

"We almost had sex when I confessed to you," he finally said, shaking his head. "You were even willing to sacrifice a better law school…just to be in a relationship with me."

I blinked at him. "W-what does that have to do with anything now?"

"You don't get it, Rose," he replied, rising to his feet. "We would have gone down that path again tonight. You'd defer another good opportunity. All in your pursuit of love." he sighed. "I saw what you became because of Scourge. I thought I could help you, but I cannot. I cannot promise you happiness or security or anything you can pretend you can live without." He turned away from me. "I don't want to break your heart."

"My heart has been broken for years now!" I could feel tears line my face, but I couldn't wipe away my devastation. "You're doing _exactly_ what he did. You won't give us a chance!"

"Scourge chose Fiona!" Shadow hissed, clenching his hands. "I can't choose_ anyone_."

I glared at him. "Not even the person who loves you?"

His expression softened.

"If you think what we have is love," he began, "then you can find it with someone else." His words weren't harsh, but reality was. "Now stop crying."

"When did you become so cruel?" I shook my head. But it was heavy and it ached like my heart.

"When did you lose sight of who you are?"

I could only clench my hands into fists. I couldn't accept that he was right. If I did, that meant we truly didn't have a chance. I turned toward the window, saw our forms, my rumpled clothing. I was exposed. Unwanted.

With a sigh, I could finally look at him - his stern yet soft gaze. He had known peace, maybe even with Mina, and I disturbed it.

"I-I'm sorry." It felt wrong to be apologizing. But not as wrong as it felt staying here. This house would never be our home. So what was I doing here?

My feet found movement and I ran.

He didn't follow.

* * *

Gah!

So it happened! Or _didn't_ happen, I guess. Amy and Shadow's relationship is pretty complex, so I'd love to hear your thoughts about how it's been presented so far. Again, feel free to offer your criticisms. I definitely struggle with their dynamic, but I think there will be some really interesting parts later. So I completely understand if you're confused or as mad as Amy right now lol. But I'll probably have another update before the end of the week. So please review!

Until then,

KB


	14. Chapter 14

Hey, witches!

Sorry for the delay, I've just been really busy getting my life in order with grad school. But I have today off, so I wanted to put at least one chapter up. There's some stuff I want to work out real quickly in the next two chaps, but those should be up tomorrow or at least by Wednesday. I really appreciated what you all had to say in the last few chaps and I'm eager to hear more of your thoughts. I hate to sound desperate, but I LOVE reviews because they really allow me to grow as a writer. However, please feel free to recommend stories or ideas. Fan fiction is a unique medium that really depends on author-reader interaction, and I appreciate that.

Anyway, I'll let you get on with this chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 14**

I blocked out my thoughts and feelings as I knocked on yet another door for the night.

An arm pulled me in before I could reach fifty.

"You do know that I have toddlers sleeping in here?" Concern for her children vanished as Rouge sized me up. "Sloppy clothes. Midnight. What, are you Shadow's mistress?"

"Shadow isn't dating anyone." My voice was dull, scratchy from the crying on my way here. "I don't think we would have almost slept together if he was."

Rouge's eyes widened before she nodded. ""Shadow and Mina are in a relationship, but I can't say how committed it is. We had a mission to prevent the Grand Mobius Music Hall from being bombed last year. She's been taken with him ever since, though."

That would explain what she said at the hotel. I shook my head; it didn't matter anymore. My attention focused on Rouge, who had already taken a seat on the living room sofa.

"Then why did you lie to me?"

"A bat's gotta entertain herself somehow." She was smiling slyly; it was hard to tell if it was filled with any animosity. Or if I should have been filled with it. "But you weren't honest either, Sugar.

"If you told me what went down with you and Shadow three years ago, I could have told you how to deal with him." She started playing with her nails. "Barging into his house and forcing him to love you was a bad idea. Even by my standards."

Part of me wondered if she attached some sort of listening device on me. I hadn't told her anything. But I was guessing my presence spoke for me.

"Shadow's an observer," she continued, resting a hand on her huge belly, "He only takes part in things when it's absolutely necessary. However, he's a lot more sensitive than he cares to admit. He feels guilty about things pretty easily." Her glance fell to the fireplace. "Especially now."

"What do you mean by that?"

"The fact that you don't know sort of illustrates the issue…" Rouge pursed her ruby lips. "…Shadow's difficult."

"No duh." I folded my arms. "Then why the hell did you encourage our relationship?"

"Because I thought you'd be good for each other." Rouge brought out a bottle of sparkling wine from under the table and took it to her lips. Sighed in relief. "I mean, we weren't."

My eyes widened. "I thought you said you two were casual?"

"Yeah," she admitted. "But he's also my best friend behind Knux."

"Is that why you chose Knuckles?" My voice had lowered to a whisper. "Did you want to be with Shadow?"

"Yes and no." She took another sip. "I mean, yes Shadow is sexy and stoic and—"

"Can totally hear you!" A voice called out from the kitchen. Knuckles.

"Just questioning Amy's attraction to Shadow," Rouge called out. "Love you!"

"Love you, too." Knuckles popped into the room to toss a bag of kettle corn at Rouge. His eyes hit mine, and he looked amused. "Hey, Amy."

"Hey," I replied slowly, trying not to feel embarrassed. "Um, thanks for having me at this hour."

"No problem." He kissed Rouge on the temple before disappearing in the hallway.

"If that isn't love, I don't know what is." Rouge offered me the corn before taking some. "I didn't even have to _do_ anything."

"That's great. But I don't know if your advice is going to help." I shook my head. "He wanted me, yet he restrained. Said he'd never be able to make me happy." I clenched my fists. "Then why am I so miserable without him?"

"I hate to say it, but he's right," Rouge said matter-of-factly. "You're the kind of girl who wants a prince. A fairytale. And you can say that you're fine without one, but he knows there's a strong possibility that you'd be happier with someone else."

"Then why did he make a move before?" I said, rubbing my temple. "What? Is he the only one that gets to change his mind? Why is he even humoring Mina?"

"That was before he saw you with that Parker guy. Face it, he's probably a better match for you," Rouge decided. "As for Mina...she's some rock star that he barely sees. And I don't think they're trying to marry each other."

"So you're telling me that Shadow's trying to be the bigger person?" I closed my eyes, tried to rationalize this. We _could_ be together, but Shadow was against it. He had decided what a union between the two of us meant, and was against it.

He was against us.

"Then I guess it's really over." I was surprised I had no tears. I was just numb. But I knew it was a defense mechanism; if I thought about it too hard, I'd breakdown. If I hadn't already.

"I really want the two of you to be happy." Rouge rubbed my back. She was suddenly a mother and the friend I had neglected for far too long. I tried to soak up her reassurance, but I was too tired and depressed. And the most depressing thing was that I didn't know how to fix this—I couldn't fix this.

"But unfortunately, he's going to disappoint you," she said. "And he doesn't want that. Look what Scourge did."

I glared at her. But her teal gaze remained undeterred. "Why does everyone act like I am so weak?"

"Do you remember how many times you almost got yourself killed when we were kids?" I scoffed.

"No one thinks you're weak." She hugged me. But the sentiment of the moment was dying fast. "You just need to stand on your own feet."

"For how long?" Everyone had moved on by epic proportions. I mean, Rouge was a mother for Pete's sake. _Rouge._

She only smiled. I wish it made me feel better.

"Until you don't need anyone to lean on."

* * *

I spent the night on her couch. Morning came too soon, but I guess we had spent most of the night talking about how pathetic I was. Which is why I got stuck dropping Ruby and Opal to daycare. They were as adorable as they were prodding.

"Why do you look so sad?" Ruby, a peach bat-echidna asked from the back seat. "Did someone hurt your feelings?"

"You have _no_ idea." I replied. "Adults get sad sometimes, but I'm fine."

"Why do adults get sad, Auntie Amy?" Opal, her identical twin, then asked. I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

"Because adults aren't as nice and smart as you too." I had said. "See how you are asking how I feel? Not all people care about other people's feelings."

"Does someone not care about your feelings?" Ruby interjected again. "Is it a boy?"

To this, I really rolled my eyes. Leave it to four-year-olds to read me completely.

"It's always a boy."

* * *

By the time I reached home, I could smell something delicious cooking in the apartment. The idea perked me up as much as cheering up the dead could, until I realized Clarissa was in there.

And she probably wouldn't let me have any of it.

With a groan, I opened the front door. My stomach lusted for the eggs sizzling on the stove. I breathed it in as I passed the foyer. Then I regretted coming here.

Clarissa was sitting on the kitchen counter. Edged between her legs was none other than Parker.

I blinked at the sick dream before me. This had to be a sick dream.

And because I was a pervert, I just stood there and watched them.

They had clothes on—sort of. Clarissa's silk robe had slid past her shoulders. But she was still wearing a bra...which was also slipping. And at least Parker was wearing pants. But it looked like they were having sex. Wait.

Were they having sex?!

"_Parker._" Clarissa's moaning filled the air as ran her hands through Parker's back. He grunted before kissing her neck. She squealed. "_You're making me_—"

Okay. I knew I had to leave. There was nothing more mortifying than having an intimate moment interrupted. Unless it was interrupted by the very person you were going at it with. I clenched my fists. I would give _anything _to suppress all thoughts of last night.

"YOUR EGGS ARE BURNING," I then said, because I was a bitch. Clarissa's eyes snapped open. Parker spun around.

"AMY?"

"AMY?"

I turned off the stove. "Sorry for interrupting. I just didn't want the apartment to burn down."

"The eggs aren't burning." Clarissa scoffed, jumping off the table. She combed a hand through her ash fur. "And I'd believe you were sorry if you weren't smiling." She scoffed again. "Sicko."

Sicko?

"You do know we _eat _on that table?" I retorted. But I couldn't hide it. I _was_ grinning.

I had officially gone insane.

"My apologies," Parker said, turning to me. His brow lifted lightly, and suddenly I felt mortified. I forgot about my random appearance in all of this. My random, rumpled appearance. "Um, is everything alright? I'll be honest, we probably should have notified you that we are seeing each other. It's been a few weeks."

"Well, Clarissa and I haven't been on good terms for a few weeks," I notified him. "So there's no harm. You know, once I burn the image you two _doing it_ from my brain."

Parker laughed. "Okay then."

"Not okay then," Clarissa said, eying me up and down. "Rouge said that you were spending the night at her house. So what brings you here looking like you were hit by a train?"

"Yesterday was a busy day," I began. "Had a lot of cases I had to look into. Rouge wanted to talk. Took longer than I anticipated, so I stayed the night. She insisted that I shower and change, but I told her I'd just do it at home." I tried to keep my voice leveled as I lied to them. But between the lawyer and the doctor, I didn't know how much got through to them. I moved to the pantry, made myself a cup of coffee.

"That's it?"

"I also made up with Cream," I replied, ironically adding some cream to the coffee. I took a sip. See? Normal people drank coffee. I could be normal.

"Then—"

A classical ringtone filled the air.

"Sorry," Parker said, pulling out his phone. "I have to get to the hospital. C-section in three hours." Within moments he was dressed and ready.

"Make sure you two make up." He pulled Clarissa into a kiss. Patted my shoulder like the _bros _we apparently were now. Then he disappeared.

And I was stuck with Clarissa. _Selfish bastard. _

"Hmm, that would explain what Phil said," I said, taking a seat by the island. Clarissa's eyes widened.

"W-what did he say?"

"That Parker looks happier," I replied. "When you were in the hospital, we put a close on any unresolved feelings. But his dad thought he was still holding out for me. Glad to see he's moved on." My eyes hit her's. "Even if it's you."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I'm just joking." I shrugged. "Am I not allowed to do that anymore?"

"Wanna tell me what's really up?"

I frowned. "Why? I thought we weren't talking."

Clarissa hissed, "You left early from work yesterday. I had to call around to see where you were . You should have at least told me. I was worried sick."

"Not worried enough to not fuck Parker's lights out." I rose to my feet. "Look, if I knew what I was getting into coming home, I would have stayed with Rouge."

"Just tell me why you were really with her." Clarissa spat. "I know you—you close yourself off when something's really bothering you. I know I shouldn't have thrown the party without your consent. I also know that I shouldn't have started dating Parker without it, either. But you can be impossible, you know that? People want to help, yet you reject it." She shook her head. "Why can't you be happy?"

I shot her a look, but immediately regretted it. There was so much compassion and concern in her eyes. She was right. Everyone was right. Even Shadow.

Especially Shadow.

I shrugged my shoulders in a slump. "I-I don't know." Tears were swelling my eyes, but I couldn't cry. I couldn't do anything. I was always powerless in this game of love.

"I-I just feel humiliated." I hated how pathetic I sounded. But that's what I was. Pathetic people couldn't decipher what was truly important. I was abusing the relationships around me, yet pretending that I was the one being abused. I was destroying myself. What would having a guy do if the real issue was me and my twisted priorities?

Clarissa's expression fell. "Don't tell me—"

"Shadow doesn't want me." My throat was burning. "And the worst part is that I don't blame him."

But this wasn't like Sonic or Scourge. I had nothing real with the blue blur; and Scourge wasn't a good guy, maybe not a bad guy, but I had tricked myself into believing he was good for me.

_ But Shadow..._

I shook my head. "I need to move on."

"I agree," Clarissa said, rubbing my arm. "And I'm so sorry. But it doesn't make sense."

"Nothing ever makes sense."

"I mean it," she pushed. "I'm not an idiot. I can tell you two had a moment."

"We didn't have sex," I sighed. And we never would. We'd never date. Never get married. Never have children. Never. That would be the theme of my life, dreams never actualized.

My gaze turned to the ground. "Oh, and I lost my job. That's why I wasn't at work." I narrowed my eyes. "But that doesn't explain why _you're_ not at work."

"I don't have to be in till noon," Clarissa replied. "And don't change the subject."

"Then what do you want me to do!" I didn't know why I was yelling. I wasn't angry at her, or anyone really. I just wanted to crawl underneath my bed. Emerge only for work next week. Or I could just die.

Dying sounded nice.

"I'm also sorry about the job, but you were just transferred to the other division, right?" Clarissa asked. I nodded. "I mean, it's outside of town, but family-law is much more fulfilling than corporate stuff anyway." She shrugged. "Just less money."

"_Yay._"

"It'll take time to feel better," Clarissa began, bringing me into a hug. "But you did say you worked things out with Cream, right?"

"Yes-ish." I doubted Cream wanted to go for mani-pedis, but she was done glaring at me. And I was done glaring at her..._if_ she stopped talking so much about the Dream Boat that is apparently Tails.

"Good-ish." Clarissa clasped her hands. "But you know what would make things actually good?"

"You not fucking Parker on the kitchen table?" Clarissa glared at me.

"No." She jumped out of her chair and moved to her bedroom. Then she tossed a gray scarf at me.

I inspected the knitted accessory in my hands, considered keeping it for myself until I realized whom it belonged to. My eyes widened.

"_No._"

There was a devilish look in Clarissa's hazel eyes.

And I knew defying her meant death.

* * *

I wonder who owns the scarf? Please review!

KB


	15. Chapter 15

Hey!

I just wanted to thank Raquel the writer, MistyVoid48, Cozy Shadow, Nouveau(2), Fairlyoddme, LadyMiioh, and all the guest reviewers for reading and leaving your thoughts! These two chapters (15-16) symbolize the end of the first part of the story. Although a few of your hunches might be right, I can assure you that there are quite a few twists coming up that I hope will blow your mind. ;)

In general, it seems that many of you are concerned that Amy won't have a happy ending/will end up alone, that I'm knocking her down too much, and that her friends don't really seem to be helping her situation. I think the beauty of a more character-based story (over premise/plot-heavy) like this one is that you get to see a lot of back and forth with the characters' interactions. For example, some might say that Clarissa getting with Parker breaks girl code, but it is both mentioned and heavily implied that Amy is not interested in him (and Parker very well could have informed Clarissa that he and Amy had closure), and her current behavior toward her could really make it hard for Clarissa to continue considering her feelings when she essentially stepped all over hers (and her Christmas party lol). Another interesting thing about the story is that there are really no significant issues for Amy at face value, but the plot exists because she has created them both in her head and between her friends. I never wrote this story with the intention of exploring the importance of social/emotional growth as well as mental illness (i.e. depression), but I have come to realize how important it is to take these concepts seriously. The story wouldn't exist if we didn't have a main character really struggling with these issues despite how oblivious she can be about what really matters - doing what makes her happy, not what she's been conditioned to think will make her happy. It also doesn't help that although her friends mean well, they are sympathetic rather than empathetic. It's sort of ironic that characters like Rouge and Phil and maybe even Shadow may seem more empathetic than the others. Their support isn't blatant cheering or humoring her feelings. They're really brash and straight-forward, but they also see the big picture, which is a perspective Amy is seriously lacking.

Drat, I didn't want to go on a spiel, but I love spieling. Overall, creating natural interactions between the characters is REALLY hard to do. So I really appreciate it when you offer your views on it. I know you're not going to love (or like) everything, but I've tried to make sure that everything that I do put in is perfectly justifiable. I'm saying this now because of the nature of the following chapters.

Also, if you might have noticed, the first part of the story was called "THE END" which I hope illustrates why it was somewhat depressing. I also hope you can guess what the second part is called. ;) I can definitely say that part two is more goal oriented with two specific conflicts Amy is going to have to deal with. But that's all I'm saying. Don't worry, it's not going to be _that_ bad. Hopefully. But I suppose I've teased you all enough.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 15**

I probably should have just killed myself. Yet somehow I was here.

I gulped as I looked at a home that was hardly homely. Despite the beautiful architecture and the fragrant flowers that lined the porch, this still was Blaze's and Silver's lavishly humble abode. Which was enough to make this mission impossible.

After all, it wasn't like I could just waltz up to the door and give Blaze her dumb scarf back. Nope, Blaze wasn't like the others. I had crossed her in the worst possible way, literally slapped her in the face when she offered me the most compassion during the dark, unfortunate storm that was once my life. And even if my life was still sort of pathetic, what right did I have to intrude on hers—her undoubtedly Amy-less happiness?

But she came to _my_ apartment, right? Granted, Clarissa invited her to the party. Maybe she didn't know that the two of us were roommates. My eyes widened when an even scarier thought dawned on me.

Maybe she didn't care.

Could the grudge only be in my head? I bit my lip. It seemed like a lot of relationships in my life were one-sided. Shadow didn't love me, for starters. Cream and Rouge were also quick to forgive me—so quick that I questioned if they were ever mad at me in the first place. So maybe Clarissa was right about this; returning the scarf could be the start of a peace offering.

I'd like to say that I didn't miss Blaze, but she was my best friend. And I was the one who ruined everything.

I took a deep breath. "I guess it's time to fix it."

But time was not on my side. There was no car in the driveway, and the curtains were drawn down. My eyes fell to a second-floor window. It was open.

Okay, so Blaze and Silver didn't go on a huge trip or anything. I gazed at my watch—noon. The day was still young. They'd probably be returning home soon and I could bother them then. Yup, I was leaving now.

But my eyes couldn't leave the window. I pursed my lips. What was I going to do? Jump inside it? But for some reason my brain didn't immediately reject the idea. I had no purpose in the house, no business intruding. And despite the fact that I _could _just make friends with Blaze by giving her the scarf, a sick part of me didn't want to. If we were meant to be friends, wouldn't it have happened already? Blaze didn't need me, and I had no right to complicate her life with my presence.

I clenched the thing in my hands. If I put it in her room, she'd never have to know I was here. She probably forgot she lost it in the first place. I nodded at my absurd idea, and pulled out something I thought I'd only have to use for more catastrophic emergencies.

"Okay, piko-piko hammer. Do your stuff!" I dashed for the home, aimed the hammer at the pavement and hit it swiftly. The impact catapulted me through the air and I shifted my body toward the window, entering it easily. With a somersault, I landed in a crouch.

Rising to my feet, I couldn't help but feel a little bit too proud of myself; I was in better shape than I thought. I blinked around the space, noticed that I was in the hallway. It looked the same as it did years ago, only more organized and Blaze-like; it was no longer a former bachelor pad. Feelings of exhilaration were replaced by caution. I had to remember that the mission wasn't complete yet. I had to put this thing in her closet. Then I'd be home free.

I walked slowly but briskly to the end of the hall. I opened the doorknob to the master bedroom as quietly as I could. Was surprised that I was surprised no one was in here. I took a light breath. I moved past the main room, ignoring portraits of friends that didn't include me on the dresser. Two doors were adjacent to each other on the left wall. Closet or bathroom? After a quick mental game of eeny-meeny-miny-moe, I decided on the left one.

I saw a blur of clothing and reveled in a mini-victory. But before I could envy how large the walk-in closet was, I saw Blaze.

"What the?" She stole the words from my mouth. I glanced at the weird, padded mesh in her hands. Her exposed, flat belly. My mouth opened to respond before Blaze lurched toward me.

Then there was darkness.

* * *

I woke to darkness. My face shifted from whatever surface I was on, and it took me a moment to register that I was on the floor.

Pain jolted my brain as I tried to remember were I was. Was I at Rouge's? No, I left her house. But why would I go back to sleep? Why the floor?

I tried to shift from my position, but my arms were restricted—my feet were bound as well.

"The hell?" I wiggled around some more, but it was no avail. With a groan of defeat, a realization hit me. And with it, the lights. I squinted.

"Look, I'm sorry I broke in, Blaze," I said, sighing into the carpet. "I just wanted to return your scarf."

"Did you try knocking on the door like a sane person?" I couldn't see her, but I could tell she was standing over me. I scoffed.

"Did you try NOT tying me up like a sane person?" I mocked. "Let me _go,_ Blaze. I'm not gonna tell anyone anything." I paused. "Wait, what am I supposed to keep a secret?"

"Why did you have to trespass in the first place?" Her voice was brimming with an unsettling mix of irritation and sorrow. It was almost enough to actually make me feel bad. I say 'almost' because I was tied up. And by the look outside, it was almost evening. I could tell she was shaking her head, trying to convince herself not to kill me. Hopefully.

"It's humiliating enough already."

"What's humiliating?" I shot back, turning over onto my back. But when I saw my former friend, my expression fell. She was crying.

Of course, she wasn't ugly crying or anything. If tears could be referred to as graceful, that's how they looked-that's how she looked. However, there was something more devastating than usual about the act. Blaze didn't cry. In fact, her emotional disposition reminded me of the man who didn't love me.

There was regret in her eyes, as if she was responsible for something horrible. As if she lost something dear to her. My eyes widened.

"Oh my God," I whispered. "Blaze."

She shook her head. "This is wrong. I'm sorry. I'll untie you."

"How long has it been?" It was wrong to intrude, but I had come too far. I made this my business, and now I was hurting Blaze even more.

"... A month." She shook her head again, more tears spilled. "...We've been trying...but I can't."

"Does Silver know?"

With a long sigh, she shook her head.

"Shit."

"...He knows I've had some complications with this one; he was at the hospital some time ago. I thought he figured it out, but I guess the doctor must have thought he knew."

"Not to be insensitive, but you know you can't keep this up forever, right?" I hated how blunt and unsupportive I was being. But I was remembering that I wasn't in a good mood before this. And between the blow to the head Blaze probably gave me and the whole tied-up thing, she needed someone to be real with her. And Rouge wasn't here.

"If you're just going to ridicule me, you can leave."

"Said the girl who tied me up!"

"Said the girl who doesn't tell the truth." She began to untangle the knots. "Well, it looks like I became you."

"If I had half of the things you have, I wouldn't have lied," I retorted, hitting her golden glare. "I'm still alone. But I guess I'm a lawyer, so that makes it better. Only I just lost my job. Yeah, I get to work at a shitty firm out of town because apparently I'm 'disinterested'. And I am, because you were right—I never resolved what happened with Scourge, and I pushed Parker into the arms of Clarissa.

"But the only thing I wanted after all this time…was Shadow." I clenched my fists. "I wanted him to see that I'm better now—that I'm independent and ready to be with him. But Shadow doesn't want to be with someone like me. So you're right. You're always right about everything. And I am truly sorry that this happened to you, but even you know that this whole issue is just one roadblock to your reign of perfection. You're going to get what you want," I said, soothing my previously bound wrists. "So deal with it."

"I've miscarried three times in the last year." Blaze sighed. My eyes widened. "Not to try to top you or anything. The doctors kept saying nothing was wrong with me until they realized that my womb is toxic. Since I'm pyrokinetic, I can't house a normal child."

"But your child _wouldn't_ be normal." I shook my head. "What about Silver, doesn't his abilities make the fetus more viable or something?"

"Maybe if I was carrying the Ultimate Lifeform or something." A more sincere glance reached mine. "Sorry. But Silver's kind is normal until birth. I'm unique, and passing on my recessive abilities to my children is virtually impossible."

"That's horrible."

Blaze nodded, biting her lip. "It really is."

I half expected her to cry again, but watching her help me up was even more tragic. I didn't know that is was possible for devastation to manifest itself physically. She looked like she was cursed, and that all she ever thought about was how to reverse it. But how could you reverse nature?

"I'm really sorry about you and Shadow," she said, leading me into the kitchen. "If I had known that you were with him before, I wouldn't have said all those mean things about him." She shook her head. "Regardless, I shouldn't have said them."

"No, he sort of sucks," I replied, trying to lighten the mood. "But I can't make him love me. I tried that with Sonic, remember?"

She smiled lightly. "Yeah. Hard to imagine that he's a father now."

I fought the urge to punch myself in the face. Why the hell did I bring _that_ up?! My worried gaze found Blaze. "I'm sorry."

"No," she dismissed, bringing out some snacks from her pantry. "I'm not some grieving widow or something. I still have Silver. And you unfortunately."

I rolled my eyes. "Speaking of him, where is he?"

"On some global ambassador's trip. I think Sonic's there too." I watched Blaze pull out a container of pills. Prenatal vitamins. She signed before putting them back in. "I guess I don't need those anymore..."

"Are you going to be okay?" I felt like an idiot for asking her that. _Of course _she wasn't going to be okay! There was basically no chance in hell that she was going to get what she wanted. Unless it involved insanely good luck or adultery. "I mean, you could dump Silver and get with Shadow. But I guess he's too busy with _Mina_."

Blaze blinked at me. I would have felt mortified but it was safe to say nothing could faze me anymore.

"Maybe I should be asking you the same question," she replied, pouring me a glass of poison—I mean tea. "Don't worry, it's not poisoned."

"Thanks for the warning," I said, taking a sip. "But it's getting late and I still need to email my new boss _and _assure Clarissa that I didn't kill myself."

Blaze nodded. "I'm really sorry for holding you hostage."

"And I'm sorry for trespassing in the first place."

"Don't be," she said. I pulled her into a hug.

"Are you _really _sure you'll be okay?"

"I've gotten this far, haven't I?" She smiled, but it was laced with pain. She shooed me out. "Go, I've taken up enough of your time already. I'll let Silver know when he gets back. Stop by whenever."

"You sure?" My heart was racing and swelling and I had no idea why. Then it occurred to me that I was finally getting my best friend back. The circumstances were a little unsettling, but that meant I could be there for her. No one had to be the victim. And I welcomed this feeling.

"Positive." Her grin was genuine now. "I'm just sorry it took so long to get to this point."

"I'm sorry that we can't stop saying sorry." I hugged her again before walking to the door. "Let me know if you need anything."

"I will."

And just like that, I was free. I didn't have the man that always seemed essential in my life, but I finally had all of my friends back.

So why did something else seem missing?

I couldn't put my finger on it, but as I approached my car, I instantly felt burdened. Was it because the tables had turned in the worst possible way? Blaze was the pinnacle of everything I wanted in my life. So why was she being punished?

Unease consumed me as my hand latched onto the car door. No, Blaze wasn't being punished—she couldn't be. But I was being tested.

My feet found the front porch before I could tell them to move. My fist found the door before I could tell it to knock. And my mouth found words before I could tell it to speak. And I think Blaze could tell.

"I want to have your baby."

* * *

WHAT?! Please review!

~KB


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

I knew I was being rash. Or borderline insane. But that didn't stop me from setting an appointment at the clinic.

My nose wrinkled as I breathed in the sterile air. I hated clinics. So I looked at Blaze, who was calm, yet more anxious than I had ever seen her. Even when we were here four years ago.

"You're supposed to be the stable one," I said, flipping through a magazine. It was a distraction effort at best. Truthfully, I was terrified and mad that I was in this situation in the first place. Mad that Blaze was in this situation. Mad that this was taking forever...

"I'm just nervous," she replied very un-nervously. "This isn't a game, Amy. What you're doing for me is huge, if it can even be done."

I raised a brow. "What do you mean 'if it can even be done'?"

Blaze sighed. "We've been trying to have a child for more than two years now. I've been here so many times that the employees refer to me by nickname."

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

She gave me a sharp look. "They're so optimistic; it pisses me off."

"Then it's a good thing I'm here." I smiled brightly, but Blaze only rolled her eyes before glaring at me.

"Why?"

I blinked. "Why what?"

Her look hardened. "Why did you offer to do this?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but nothing could come to me quickly. Like I said, everything was rash. Less than a week ago I was determined to marry Shadow. Now I was opting to be a surrogate. I replayed the ideas in my head over and over again, hoping to draw some connection—an answer. I could tell that Blaze was getting uneasier by the second, but I don't know, I couldn't explain it. And I was a lawyer!

With a sigh, Blaze rose to her feet. "That's it, we're leaving—"

"Dr. Hedgehog?"

Blaze spun over her shoulder, nodding slightly. "Hello, Dr. Merecat."

Her smile broadened. "If you two are ready, you can follow me."

Before Blaze could object, I followed in the doctor's lead.

"So you want to have your best friend's baby?" the lady doctor was grinning as she looked through her file. "Medicine can do almost anything now, can't it?"

"Except let_ me _have a baby." I was surprised at the lack of bitterness in Blaze's tone. "If you're done making fun of us, I'd like to know the logistics."

"You really don't play, do you Blazy?" The woman laughed. Blaze looked like she wanted to kill. "Well you're actually in luck. I was going to call you on Monday, but the other doctors and I have been working on your case. We have viable embryos ready for implantation." Her gaze then fell on me. "All we need is a womb."

"Well, when you say it like that."

"I'm being serious." But her grin only grew wider. I wondered if most doctors were actually high on optimism. "We've already cleared your physical. And you are in good health and prime age. If you fill out the necessary paperwork, we can initiate conception right now."

My eyes widened. "_Conception_? Right now?"

Blaze rose to her feet. "I told you this was rash. Thank you, Dr. Merecat. But coming here was a mistake."

"Look," I said, trying to hide my initial shock. "I know what it's like not having something you want when there's no reason you shouldn't. You deserve a happy family with children who love you."

"But at what cost?" She shook her head. "I can't do this to you."

I grabbed her hands.

"Then let me do this to myself."

"_Aww_! How touching! I've never seen such a sacrifice of friendship!" the doctor declared, clasping her hands.

I nudged my shoulder toward the near-crying Dr. Merecat. "You heard her."

"I wish I hadn't."

"You know, you sound _a lot _like Shadow right now."

"As long as you don't want to sleep with me."

"So are we going to do this or not, ladies?" the doctor woman started for the exit. "I'll let you decide as I prepare the procedure with one of the nurses." She paused. "But please decide quickly."

Then it was just me and Blaze.

"Well?" Blaze turned to me. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Want was a strong word. Which was why I could only stare back at her as the reality of the situation dawned on me. Even if it wasn't _my_ baby, was I really ready to have one? I wasn't scared of the process, but I was scared of the future, and if this event would alter it for the worst.

I closed my eyes, and braced myself for the answer that would ruin everything.

* * *

Sorry for the shortness of the chapter. I just felt that this particular scene had to stand on its own.

But don't worry, there are plenty more twists where this came from. ;)

I should have the next two chapters up by the weekend. Please tell me your thoughts/critiques/criticisms.

~KB


	17. Chapter 17

First and foremost, I'd like to apologize if I offended anyone for making it seem like I was using mental illness merely as a plot device, especially to those that have suffered from it. I've never formally been diagnosed with depression but there was a time in my life right after entering high school that I was incredibly depressed. I had moved to a new school and I felt incredibly isolated and angry. But around this period I began to explore fan fiction and writing, and when I found people who really cared about me and had a loved one broke down my situation, it occurred to me that I had a lot to be thankful for. I think that's what I meant with Amy not having any problems at face-value. It's like, if she didn't care about relationships, everything in her life ideally should be fine. She still has a nice job, friends, her youth, her health - but Amy's really been abused mentally and emotionally by life and those around her. And I think it is interesting how sneaky this abuse is; it's so sneaky that most of her friends may not really realize they're doing it (except that jack-hole President Ferret lol). In the other stories, I think her friends respected her a little bit more about being depressed, but now they sort of undermine her due to having their own lives/families to take care of. They are also more sympathetic (feeling for Amy) rather than empathetic (putting themselves in her shoes), which doesn't help the problem. But hopefully you can see how important it is to stop and evaluate the one's you love, and I hope this story can help in bringing awareness.

As a writer, I'm always looking to make my work seem more interesting (although I may abuse cliff hangers...) and realistic. Still, I apologize if I've been making things _too_ terrible for Amy. But maybe I shouldn't be so defensive of my work. I'm just so tempted to be like "I did that on purpose!" or "Don't worry! You'll get your answer in the next chapter!" However, I think this is a good sign that I really did try to be as purposeful as possible (for example, certain scenes that may seem rushed were only because I couldn't justify making them longer). However, I honestly appreciate you taking the time to express your thoughts/concerns, and I want to address them the best way I can without giving too much away. But I'll try to make the next author's note shorter. ;)

Thanks again to Cozy Shadow, Guest(s), Raquel the writer, Nouveau3, LadyMiioh, Fairlyoddz, MistyVoid48, and xXAmberAddilynRoseXx for your reviews.

So yeah, things aren't going to be easy for Amy. But I'm excited to see her growth in this final part.

Please enjoy!

* * *

Part II: THE BEGINNING

* * *

**Chapter 17**

Life doesn't change very noticeably. Even when you're pregnant.

Not to say that I was. The doctor said that I had to wait a couple of weeks to take another test. Then I'd have true confirmation of my poor choices. But unlike choosing to be artificially inseminated, I didn't have any choice in the matter with my new job assignment. Or whether I'd keep this one either.

I parked my car in the lot next to the office, and naturally it paled in comparison to the firm. It was basically a house, a humble office probably filled with humble attorneys. I know that's what I always strived for—to be an honest person, to make an honest difference in the realm of legal matters—but I couldn't help but feel bummed out. I blamed the hormones.

"Let's get this over with," I finally said with a sigh, pulling my keys out of the ignition. But who was I kidding? I was starting something that had no end. With a few graceless steps, I made it to the front door, which was stained a deep dark-brown. I thought to knock, until I realized that this was an office building, not some grandma's house.

But when I pushed the door open and saw balloons, I immediately became confused. Bubble letters bobbled in the air, and were arranged to spell my name above a table that housed a small cake.

_Good-luck on your first day! _

_~Sonic _

I pursed my lips. Not because the gesture wasn't perfect, or that I expected the greeting from Clarissa or even Blaze. But because it was almost ridiculous how supportive he was being now. Where was his affection five years ago?

"Why couldn't you have just loved me?" I sighed, flicking one of the balloons.

"That would be problematic," a voice said from behind me. I spun around, saw a slightly older woman of authority. My boss?

"Why?" But when I turned to her completely, I knew I should have kept my stupid mouth shut. I saw the orange eyes first, and then I realized she looked like the female version of President Ferret. Did I just snap at his sister? His aunt? My eyes widened. _His mother?_

When she smiled, I didn't know if it was wise to mirror her expression. I gulped. She scoffed lightly, before folding her arms.

"Something tells me that your misfortune with men brought you here. Hell, it brought me here too." She stretched out her arm. "Fran the Ferret, president of F.F. Family Law," she smirked. "Try saying that six times."

I took her hand. "Amy Rose. Sorry for all of the fluff. I didn't think Sonic—"

She shook her head. "Nonsense. He's my younger brother's biggest client. We have to accept that we just live in his world," she laughed, picking up the cake. In a swift movement the strawberry confection was in the trash. My mouth widened.

After dusting off her hands like she took out the trash, she motioned to her office as if she didn't just stomp all over my sugar-coated dreams. "Come along now. There's nothing more depressing then getting fat."

If only she knew.

To my excitement, my new job was basically a small-scale replica of my old one. There were four full time attorneys (including myself), a receptionist, and a secretary. But I was pretty sure the receptionist and the secretary were the same person...

"And here is your office," Fran said, motioning to a room divided by a glass door. It was the size of a walk-in closet and it even had a window. Something that was probably excitement flustered inside me, but I couldn't make the emotions surface. Wasn't I demoted?

"You'll be looking over the divorce case I'm on to provide permanent alimony for Ms. Bernadette Bunny. Please tell me if you see any holes in the case within the next few days. I'll have you meet with the client tomorrow," she said. "Feel free to ask any questions."

"Okay."

I strolled inside the impersonal office where a thick stack of files was waiting for me on a dark desk. I took a seat, sizing up the space, the situation. This was what I wanted right? The only reason I went into law was to help the little guy, not to ensure that some rich guy's patents were in check. I took a breath. This was what I wanted.

Time to get to work.

* * *

The case was a real kicker. Normally, there were clear red flags on either side of the case. A cheating husband. Abuse. But these people were normal—no adultery allegations (for now), no noticeable strains financially on both sides. Bernadette Bunny was a reasonably successful realtor. Sure, her husband was a psychiatrist, but that didn't explain it. Both shared custody of their teenage daughter and younger son. Married for twenty years. Separated for three of them. Fault in marital break down? I guess that's why I was here.

Hours had passed when I realized I was going nowhere. I scratched my head—it just didn't make sense! Why would she be requesting permanent alimony? Child support was one thing. But—

"Who are you?" My bloodshot eyes shot up. The person who asked this was not one of the other employees. For one, he wasn't female like everyone else. He was a red fox, young enough, dressed in suit and stiff with impatience. My mouth opened to respond when the other President Ferret burst in .

"I can't say it's a pleasure seeing you, Erickson." She folded her arms. "Where's your client? I'm sure you didn't barge in here just to interrogate my intern."

My brow rose. Intern?

"Have Ms. Bunny resubmit her medical reports," the fox said. "If she continues to withhold information, I'm afraid she'll lose her grounds for alimony."

"Why don't you keep better track of your files?"

"Why don't you drop the case?"

"Because I've never lost one." The woman was smirking now. "You'll see next week when this case is over."

The man scoffed. "Whatever."

Without so much as another word, the man disappeared as abruptly as he came. I could only blink at my boss.

She blinked back at me mockingly. "Aren't you going to get back to work?"

I clicked my tongue before shrugging. "That depends. I am only an intern."

The woman rolled her eyes. "I only said that because Erickson doesn't know I hired you yet. He works with the Fox &amp; Associates firm up the street. If he doesn't think you're associated with the case he won't care if I have you work on it." Her eyes fell on my desk. "And as you can see, it is a bit of a doosey."

"Then why'd you take it?" I said, trying not to shy. It was already 5pm. My eyes widened at the realization. I had to eat something. Otherwise Blaze would kill me.

"Because men suck." She shrugged like this was common knowledge. "He's filing the divorce. It can't be for no reason."

"What if it is?" I said. "Isn't it possible for some divorcing couples to be civil?"

She only laughed. "Okay, it's time for you to take a break."

* * *

I guess she was right. I mean, I wasn't even with Shadow and I was torn up about us not being together. Imagine if we had lived a life together only for our union to be torn apart, for no reason?

I sighed before opening my apartment door. Didn't that happen? Even if the scale didn't involve matrimony? I couldn't remember not knowing Shadow. He was as much of my life as I was to his, even if he couldn't admit it—

"Hey, Amy." I turned to the voice that definitely didn't belong to Clarissa, before taking a seat next to him at the dining table.

"Hey, Parker." Apparently him being here was a thing now. But when Clarissa set a plate of food on the table (which was also becoming a thing) I honestly couldn't complain.

"So how was the big day? Meet anyone sexy?" Clarissa prodded.

"Okay and no," I said before stuffing my face with pasta. She rolled her eyes.

"You know you can't eat it _all_, right?" Clarissa moved the bread from my grip. "You could fool me for a pregnant woman."

"_Clarissa,_" Parker warned.

But I didn't feel any offense. Just shock.

How could I have not told Clarissa what I had done? My mind began to fold at the crippling weight of this situation. It exploded when an even pressing question occurred to me. _Could _I even tell her?

I could tell Clarissa was feeling a little bad by the slight pout on her lips, but I knew I couldn't reassure her subconscious instincts. So I rose from my seat and started for the door.

"Wait, where are you going?" she called. "I wasn't trying to offend you!"

"Yes you were!" I replied, pulling my purse over my shoulder. "But thanks again! Enjoy your date!"

"Wait, where are you—" I shut the door before things could get weird. Well, weirder. Why was everyone on to me? I didn't even know if I was the p-word yet. So why did everyone suddenly think I was a fatty?

When I reached Blaze's house, I was only certain of one thing—that I had made a mistake. Not in agreeing to be a surrogate, but in not realizing everything and _everyone _that would surround it. Things were beginning to get back to normal—the guys were treating me normal. How would they act if they found out?

I got my first test subject when Silver opened the door. Okay, I wouldn't technically call him a test subject. For one, he wasn't my friend. Secondly, I was carrying his and Blaze's kid. My face spoiled. Nope, I definitely didn't think this decision through.

"Nice to see you too," he said, mirroring my expression. His eyes then narrowed. "But in all seriousness, why the hell are you here?"

"I'm here to see Blaze," I said with a sigh. My eyes narrowed as well. Wait, why didn't he know? Didn't he know? My mouth opened again, but no words could come out.

"I don't think that's for the best," he said. It was weird, how quickly all malice and irritation disappeared from his tone. "Blaze has been pretty stressed with the pregnancy. And your relationship has been strained, if not nonexistent, for years now."

"But—"

"Sorry. Good night." But before he could close the door, I saw Blaze in the hallway.

"BLAZE."

Her head snapped in our direction. And for a "pregnant" woman, she moved pretty fast.

"AMY," she said with wide eyes. She turned to Silver. "What are you two talking about?"

"Nothing," Silver said, glaring at me. "She was just leaving."

"Actually, I forgot to tell you that we had a bit of a peace offering when you were away," Blaze said. "She returned my scarf and drove me to my appointment."

"Really?" He didn't look completely convinced, but he didn't look like he wanted to bite my head off anymore either.

"Yes." I nodded. "We're still making up, but I am fully aware that Blaze is_ pregnant, _and I'm not trying to stress her out." Nope, I was pretty sure I was the only one in distress. And pregnant.

"Then I guess I can't stand in the way," Silver said. He kissed Blaze's temple. "Don't stay out to long."

"Okay, _Dad_," I said. We exchanged I-still-hate-you and go-fuck-yourself glances before he disappeared into the home. Then it was just the two of us and the moonless sky.

I thwacked Blaze in the shoulder. She shot me a dirty look.

"What?"

"What do you mean, 'What'?" I practically shouted. "How have you _not _told him?"

She scoffed. "Because all expectant fathers are _dying_ to know that their wives are faking their pregnancy."

I glared at her.

She sighed. "I don't have the heart to break the news to him. He said he had a great feeling about this one. He hasn't been this happy in years." She hissed. "And we don't even know if you're pregnant yet. There have been so many false positives…I don't want to take away the little joy he has."

"But you wouldn't be taking away anything!" I said in a loud whisper. "I'm having this kid. Isn't that what matters?"

"But you two hate each other." She shook her head. "Can't we just wait a little longer?"

"Everyone knows that waiting just makes things worse," I replied. "I came here because I didn't know if I could tell Clarissa—"

"And did you?"

"No..."

"Then you know what we have to do," Blaze decided. "No one needs to know until they have to."

I scratched my head. "With that logic, this whole thing might as well be a secret."

Just then, a cruel smile found its way on Blaze's lips.

"I'm glad we're on the same page."


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

I always thought I was the insane one. Then I met Ms. Bernadette Bunny.

To be fair, Blaze had also recently purchased a ticket for the cuckoo train, but this woman was drinking wine at 10 am. She wasn't drunk (yet), but I revisited the idea when she offered me some. And because I was still insane, I almost considered it. Then I remembered I was pre-expecting.

"Isn't anyone fun anymore?" The woman pouted before taking a huge gulp. She didn't even wince. "I guess you pass the test."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. "You do realize how serious this situation is? Your final divorce hearing is in a few weeks."

"Then where is my lawyer?"

"She'll be here," I said, readjusting my jacket. "She just wanted some new eyes on the case to make sure she didn't miss anything."

"_New eyes_," she scoffed. "I wonder if that's why my husband left me..."

I raised a brow. "But you didn't accuse him of adultery before." I tapped my chin, tried to think through her sudden (okay, not sudden, just dramatic), depressing spiral. Why would she refrain from telling something vital to her case? My eyes narrowed. "Are you trying to protect him?"

She shrugged.

"Don't you want your alimony?"

She shrugged again; her cloud blue eyes shifted to the floor. "I don't know what I want anymore."

My heart fell. Here I was, looking at a woman who had everything she wanted at one point—still technically had it. Yet she couldn't even bring herself to defend it.

"Then why are you going through with this?" I sighed. Although I was pretty sure sighing was unprofessional. But then again, I was an_ intern._

"Because you're not supposed to give up without a fight." Just then, the yellow bunny rose from her feet, walked into a very fancy looking kitchen. "He's trying to get the house back. Custody of the kids as well." She poured herself a glass of what I could only hope wasn't vodka. "I mean, he's a psychiatrist, for Pete's sake. I'm surprised he hasn't made some BS about me being mentally unstable."

I didn't know if he would have to bullshit. I took the glass from the woman, poured it down the sink drain.

"It was just water."

"Then why were you drinking it from a wine glass?"

"You lawyers and your rules." She scoffed lightly. "Next you'll say I have to act civil toward a man who isn't even man enough to tell me the truth."

At this point I wanted to kill myself as much as she did.

I had been here for almost an hour and had gotten nowhere. It was just like yesterday, only then I had a desk to bang my head against.

"So is it dishonesty?" I said, but my voice was practically pleading for her to do something other than shrug or go on a spiel. I knew life was unfair when she shrugged and started mumbling about how much she hated hating her husband.

"You're wasting your time," I thought this was my subconscious, but when I spun around I saw another bunny. This one the younger, more rebellious version of the melodramatic housewife. The girl pouted her electric blue lips. "No wonder Dad is leaving her."

"Good to know my own daughter's on my side." The woman seemed to sober up in a second. She took her purse from the counter. "I have a listing at noon. Thank you for your company, Ms. Rose."

"But—" Before I could get another word out, the woman had fled from view. And I was left with Miss Teen Aggression.

"Um, shouldn't you be in school?"

"I'm in college."

"Right."

"I'm serious." She folded her arms. "Just because I'm sixteen doesn't mean that I'm not smart enough to get a higher education."

"I didn't say that."

"But you were thinking it."

"I was thinking something, alright," I said, eying her septum piercing. "But since I have you, do you care to tell me the deal with your mom? It's sort of important that the firm knows why she chooses to request alimony for no reason."

The girl shrugged. I almost strangled her. "I can guarantee that you already have your answer. Just piece together everything. I'm sure your little lawyer brain can make sense of something."

I scoffed. "What's with you and your mom with lawyers? Last I checked, some of us are trying to help her." My eyes hit hers, but she was sort of overwhelming to look at. I tried to look optimistic. "And you."

She strapped her backpack over her shoulder. "I've been helped enough by you people." With a smirk, she also left the space.

And like usual, the only thing that seemed certain was my confusion.

* * *

At this rate I was probably going to get fired. Again.

Female President Ferret gave me a simple job, make sense of crazy. But days had gone by, and my boss was expecting something. But what if this was a test?

Maybe she just wanted to see that I had enough balls to admit I was confused. I nodded—that _had_ to be it.

"You're going to want to give what you have to Ms. Ferret by the afternoon," one of the associates said, a porcupine probably in her mid 30's. Name was Phoebe? "And if you don't have anything, she's definitely not going to be happy."

"Have you _seen_ this case?" I said, waving the folder in the air. "The judge isn't going to make it happen. Especially not with how disinterested Ms. Bunny is." I sighed. "Has she always been like this?"

The woman shot me a look. Not like she wanted to kill the conversation (or me), but like I was some dumb kid she got stuck babysitting. "What do you think?"

"I honestly don't know if my brain is capable of thinking anymore." I said, placing my head on the cool counter. I was stressed out, but I couldn't be stressed out-Blaze's order. I fought the urge to beat my head against the desk. Great, _another_ thing to worry about...

When I finally rose my head, my co-worker had disappeared, leaving me with virtually nothing to go off of. It seemed like that was what everyone was doing. Giving me sticks to build a house or something.

The only reasonable explanation was that every straightforward explanation wasn't applicable. So yes, there was a time that Ms. Bunny wanted alimony. That's why we were in this situation. But why didn't she care anymore?

Her rebel daughter said I had everything I needed. But it was sort of hard to trust someone who wore neon lipstick. Still, there was something about the girl as well. But what?

I shook my head. Back to the mom. So she didn't want alimony anymore. Why? I could sense that she wasn't unfaithful. If she were, her husband's defense would have blasted her on it. The same had to go for him as well. But infidelity _had_ to play a role, whether it was direct or discrete.

So maybe there was an affair. But no one was going to prove it. Then what could?

A knock on my door disconnected my thoughts. I hissed.

"Show me what you have," Ms. Ferret said, motioning toward the direction of her office. "Let's see if hiring you was a mistake."

My stomach flopped. Was this how my law career was going to end? All because I couldn't solve _one_ case? My eyes widened. But that was my job. If I couldn't solve cases, what good was I?

As I walked to toward Ms. Ferret's office (aka the gates of hell), I saw the fox guy from earlier come into view. He looked just as impatient and irritated as he did before, only he was sporting a cocky grin on his stupid, smug face. Did he find something important? I couldn't help but glare at him as he conversed with the secretary/receptionist. He didn't see me.

But my eyes widened when I saw it.

* * *

"Are you sure about this?" Ms. Ferret didn't look particularity convinced or impressed. But strangely, I didn't feel deterred. I slid her the file.

"I've never been more sure about anything." Okay, that was a lie at its finest. I only sort of knew what I was doing. Truthfully, if I were wrong about this, I would be tarnishing Ms. Ferret's perfect reputation. Then I would lose my job. Again.

"Fine," she said through her teeth, before rising from her seat. She nodded at the judge. The hippo woman didn't so much as blink. And I thought Ms. Ferret could be dry...

"Your honor, I'd like to call Dr. Barnes Bunny to the stand."

"Motion accepted."

The older doctor approached the bench. Ms. Ferret proceeded to pull out some papers from the file. Her glance then hit the man. "Dr. Bunny, for how long have you been blackmailing your wife?"

"Objection!" Erickson Fox called out. "Ms. Ferret is merely conjuring an unsupported accusation to further distraught my client."

The judge pursed her lips in contemplation before shrugging lightly. "I think a psychiatrist is capable of handling a simple allegation. Overruled."

But the judge was right, the man looked unfazed, if not bored. "I have never blackmailed my wife. She's the only one that would stand to gain anything by such means. I'm making sure that she has everything she needs. But alimony is taking it too far."

"Tell me," Ms. Ferret began, "do you have access to your wife's medical records?"

He wrinkled his nose. "I'm a psychiatrist. Considering the fact she isn't crazy, and she isn't one of my patients, I think the question practically answers itself."

"But I'm asking _you _to answer it."

"I have never pried into my wife's medical records." He folded his arms. "Could I request them from her primary care physician? Yes. But I would need her permission, which I haven't had for years now."

"Thank you. That's all I have for now."

"What are you getting at, Ms. Ferret?" the judge asked suspiciously. But she looked more interested, if that was possible.

"That's what I would like to know," I whispered to my boss. But she merely sat down with a coy expression on her face. I frowned. "You're not helping."

"Don't lose focus now," the woman said, pulling another paper from her stack. "When Erickson finishes cross examining Ms. Bunny, this will all be over."

"I hope so."

"Come on now. Negativity will get you nowhere."

Which was true. After prodding Miss Bemused Bunny for ten minutes, Erickson started pulling some bull about how her disinterest made her unworthy of alimony.

"Not only does her behavior warrant psychological evaluation, it also warrants a revaluation as to who should maintain chief custody of the children," he went on, "with that, I rest my case."

The judge was nodding, and I could feel my heart swell and threaten to explode. And not in a good way. I turned to my boss.

"Your final point, Ms. Ferret?" The judge said.

"I'll make this quick."

"Best words I've heard all day."

Ms. Ferret smiled before clearing her throat. "I have to admit that Mr. Fox does make some good points. Ms. Bunny is in need of psychological evaluation." She rose up a hand. "However, all of her psychological trauma was caused by her husband. And yes, he is also right about not accessing his wife's medical files." She slide a paper to the judge. "Because his daughter did."

Judge Hippo's brows narrowed as she read the document. She turned to Ms. Bunny. "How long have you known that you have syphilis?"

The woman sighed. "It was confirmed a year ago, although I was supposedly infected ten years prior."

"Her husband has been removing the files, which is why he technically did not "access" or review the contents for a few years now. But their daughter, who was volunteering with Ms. Bunny's gynecologist, thought it be fun to mess with her mother's records. And we recovered some of the missing files from her possession.

"For the past few months, Ms. Bunny has been taking a drug that interferes with serotonin production to control her disease, causing a mild depression. And as to how this relates to her husband…one of the medical records he also removed last year confirmed that he was the one who gave her the disease, as he carries a dormant form of the same bacterium. Which he got from his affair thirteen years ago."

Ms. Ferret clasped her hands. "So why does my client deserve alimony? Well, for starters, her quality of life will forever be compromised because her husband—_who is a doctor_—neglected her health, and neglected her right to the truth by altering her medical records, which is a federal offense. And it is possible that he even recruited his daughter, who is a minor, to do his bidding. Now, I hope you can spare the poor girl for what she has done. But Ms. Bunny is entitled to a better life, and I think you know what will guarantee that." The woman smirked in Erickson's direction. "I rest my case."

"Way to save your client at the final second." The judge actually looked pleased. "Although I request an additional evaluation of the child custody aspect of the case, I award permanent alimony to Ms. Bernadette Bunny." She smacked her gavel. "Court adjourned."

As the two men marched out of the space, with bitter looks of failure and humiliation, my heart beamed with joy. Yes, I know it wasn't right to revel in someone else's defeat, but it felt _so_ good. And nothing had for a long time.

"Thank you." The woman pulled Ms. Ferret into a bear hug. "Thank you for believing me when I wasn't even in the mood to believe in myself." She shook her head. "Stupid medication."

"Stupid husband." Ms. Ferret laughed. "All they're good for is children, am I right?" As the two started going on about how horrible their husbands were, I took it as my cue to leave.

"Where the hell are you going?" Ms. Ferret said.

I stopped in my tracks.

"Home?" Ms. Bunny and Ms. Ferret exchanged glances before pulling me out of the courtroom.

"And they call _us _old women."

* * *

President Ferret said it wasn't a real victory until someone got drunk. And they kept trying to get me drunk.

"I know I'm your boss, but you don't have to be such a square all the time," the ferret woman said, before downing another bottle of beer. I lost track of how many she had.

"Don't worry, Fran. She wouldn't even drink at my house," Bernadette slurred. "And it was _free_ there." The two burst into laughter.

"Here's that 'beer' you ordered," Phil said with a wink. If I forgot to mention, we were at Avalon Tavern. I smiled before downing the ginger ale. "But seriously, you could stand to have a little fun yourself."

I jigged my keys in the air. "Can't. Driver duty." That was a lie, but I couldn't exactly tell him the news. Not that there were any, technically.

"Alright," he said. "I'll take it that these two are your associates?"

I scoffed. "Try my boss and client. But we won our case. Although they're acting like they never win. Ms. Ferret has supposedly never lost a case."

"You got that right." The woman smiled smugly before extending her hand to Phil. "Call me Fran."

Phil took it. "Phil. And I happen to be a fan of Fran."

She giggled more than the situation called.

"Ah crap, my daughter's here," Bernadette said, sliding her phone in her purse. She patted Ms. Ferret's shoulder. I was surprised she didn't collapse. "Stay in contact so we can do something else fun." She turned to me, grinning. "Only next time, we'll leave Madam Buzzkill at home."

"_Hey._"

"Despite everything, I think the change in scenery is good for you." Phil nodded. "There's a different glow to you. I like it."

"Thanks," I replied. But my heart fell a little bit. Could he tell I was...you know?

"No,_ thank you._" Ms. Ferret still sounded sober, but too optimistic for her own good. Which meant it was time to go home. "You're so intuitive, Amy. I'm surprised my idiot brother fired you."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. Time to go."

"But I want to stay..." She pouted before winking at Phil. "Handsome over here is taking care of me."

Even in the dim lighting, I could see Phil blushing.

The idea made me happy, but I was too exhausted to show it. I rose to my feet. "Suit yourself." I gave Phil a stern look. He blinked at me.

"Make sure you don't take advantage of her."

"But what if I want him to take advantage of me?" Ms. Ferret shot back. I smirked before leaving the bar.

At least love was working out for some of us.

* * *

I'd say that this was a nice filler-ish chapter. Don't worry, things will get REALLY interesting in the next set.

Also, I really want to set up a update schedule (Cozy Shadow has one for their awesome story, which you should totally check out btw). For now it's fair to say that I'll be updating twice a week (Wednesday and Saturday) but I may update on Thursday or Sunday if I'm too busy those days. But I should have a more formal schedule next week.

Until later,

Kosma Bandra


	19. Chapter 19

Hey!

I couldn't wait to update (okay, I had a moment to spare) and I wanted to get this set up. I know I mentioned posting a schedule, but I think it's easier for me to put chapters up every few days as I have been doing. I don't want to drag this out longer than I have to, but I also don't want to undermine my efforts by posting it all at once. I take your feedback seriously, and I use it to edit what I have. The story is much stronger because of all of you, and I can't express how much it means to have support from people who really care about my writing. :)

With that being said, I wanted to thank Raquel the writer, MistyVoid48, Cozy Shadow, Nouveau, and xXDarkAngelKittenXx for your reviews on the last set. Okay, I think I've wasted enough of your time.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 19**

It was only fitting that I got roped into setting up for a birthday party on my day off. And no, I wasn't exaggerating.

"I'm not blowing up anymore balloons," I announced after a while. Truthfully, I could have had it worse. I could be cooking for the masses or trying to distract the belated birthday girl. But then I realized that I was going to blow up. Like a balloon. I cringed.

"It looks like we have enough," said Tails. "Thanks again for your help."

"You could have given me more than a ten minute notice." I still had to buy presents. Yes, present_s_. And now that Cream and I were friends again, I couldn't just get her a gift-card or something.

"Sorry," Tails said, scratching his head. "Cream mentioned that you two made up, but it sort of escaped my mind with everything."

I raised a brow. "So do you mean you almost _didn't _invite me to her party?"

"..."

I nearly popped the balloon in my hands. "That's it."

But before I could make my dramatic exit from Tails' backyard, I ran into Blaze.

"Amy." She blinked. "How are you doing?"

I shrugged. "Okay, I guess. Apparently I'm the only one that Tails is using for manual labor."

"Tell me about it," she said, placing a bag of streamers on one of the tables. "Cream's in a horrible mood. She thinks we all hate her for forgetting her birthday."

"Seriously?" Now I really was done. The other guys were probably off picking up something fun like beer. Beer that I couldn't drink. "I can't believe I'm wasting my day off."

"If you're tired, I can take you home," Blaze suggested. "It's been a few weeks. It's probably time for you to—"

"Do what?" Sally said. She was carrying a deli platter. A deli platter that I also couldn't eat. I cursed in the air. Sally raised a brow. "Was I intruding?"

"Not you," I sighed. "Just life."

"Um...Okay then."

I started to walk off, but I could feel Blaze's eyes burn on my back. She was concerned, as always. Only now, I couldn't pretend to ignore her feelings—her progeny were on the line. But I honestly didn't feel different. I mean, the pregnancy signs were here. Missed period. Slight irritation. Constant hunger. Senses acting up. However, nothing to warrant her worry. For once, everything was bearable.

Yet, why couldn't I shake the feeling that something would wake me from this blissful dream?

* * *

"Wakey-wakey!" No amount of persuasion could make me get out of bed. "Aren't you hungry?"

"Yes," I replied, opening one eye. I closed it. "If you could go to the fridge and get me—"

"You see, I would do that," Clarissa began, "but you're dressed to party. So we're going to go party."

"But I don't want to have fun…" I whined. "And since when was I 'dressed to party'?"

"Since I put you in your favorite outfit." I looked down. Saw my emerald green ensemble. Dread rushed through me, until I realized I wasn't showing. Not even slightly. I took a deep breath before turning to Clarissa. She gave me a thumbs up. And even through the act didn't mean much, I felt washed over with sentiment. All she ever did was support me. So how was I _not _supposed to tell her?

My hand fell to my stomach. I felt nothing, which both relieved and saddened me. I was stuck in a state of indeterminate bliss. Where I finally felt useful, but empty. I shook my head. No need to get over-contemplative. I grinned at Clarissa.

"Did you cook for the party?"

"_No, _I blew balloons."

"I bet you blow Parker's balloons."

"Shut up."

By the time we made it to Tails' house, the party was in full throttle. Dancing and conversing and things fun were occurring on all parts of the backyard. I started for the food table when a figure hugged me from behind.

"Amy!" When she squealed, I knew it was the birthday girl. She hugged harder. I almost died from the lack of oxygen.

"That's enough," Blaze said, peeling the girl off of me. I looked at Cream who was clearly a little buzzed. And 'a little' was a generous understatement.

"Tails said that you helped to set up," she said, toasting her drink in the air with a wobbly hand. How old was she turning? Twenty-one? Twenty-two? Maybe she was overcompensating for lost time. I wish I had the option to get drunk as a skunk. But I was beginning to realize that being pregnant meant dealing with reality. Sober.

Fun.

"So thanks a ton!" Cream cheered, pulling me into another sloppy hug. I smiled, but I knew I wasn't a very good friend. I mean, I forgot to get her presents.

"Sure thing."

A group of people that I didn't recognize, probably from her university, came and swept her away. Then I was left with Blaze. And somehow the bustling party environment seemed to disappear.

"Have you taken a test yet?"

The DJ dropped the bass, and even though everything was almost excruciatingly loud, I couldn't hear anything. I shook my head.

"Not yet."

"We can take it together." Her expression was hopeful yet pained. Everything was awkward, and I was a fool to think that doing this would make things normal. Or maybe I was just being melodramatic. That was yet another symptom on the "You Might Be Pregnant" list.

I pursed my lips in consideration as I looked across the party atmosphere. A response found its way in my throat, but I saw Shadow before I could get around to saying it.

In the midst of dancing friends and party decorations, he stood out like a sore thumb in the flashing neon lights. The same lights must have been hypnotic, because I found myself walking toward him.

"Amy?" A hand pulled my arm backward, but it was too late. I was two feet from him. Through folded arms, his eyes hit mine. Expressionless and unwavering.

"Rose."

"S-shadow."

The tugging on my arm resumed, but I didn't blame Blaze. I didn't answer her question, and now I had dragged her into an awkward encounter. My fists clenched. Was that all we'd ever be? A mistake?

"As fun as it is watching you two stare at each other," Blaze began, moving between us, "I need to talk to Amy."

"Do as you wish."

My brows furrowed. _Do as you wish? _I didn't know why I was so torn up. We were over before we started. I had no reason to feel anything, yet I felt everything. I gritted my teeth. Stupid hormones.

Before I could explode, the stage at the corner did. Lights and streamers shot into the sky; smoke filled the stage. When it vanished, a glitzy Mina appeared with a band.

"Can I have the birthday girl to the stage!?" she called out. There was high shrieking—Cream—and the bunny approached the stage. A birthday ballad ensued.

"So you and Amy were really an item?" Blaze looked like a bored person trying to peak their interest by causing trouble. I wanted to shoot her a dirty look, but I couldn't blame her. I didn't know whom to blame for how I was feeling. When Shadow didn't respond, Blaze moved closer to him. "If you're not going to be social, you might as well go home."

"Unfortunately, the fox boy requested my presence to fix the amplifier." He frowned. "Whenever I try to leave I'm pestered by people like you asking me questions." His eyes shifted to mine briefly. "Or girls staring at me."

Blaze scoffed. "You can be a bit of an asshole, you know that?"

"I thought pregnant women weren't supposed to deliberately stress themselves." Harsh eyes pierced hers. "You should focus on matters that concern you."

"Fair enough." Blaze shrugged. "But Amy's my best friend. I don't know what's going on with the two of you, but don't do something you might regret." Her tone was hardly passive now. "Take advantage of what you can control."

Shadow's expression didn't shift. "Thanks for the pep talk."

"Hey, I've been looking all over for you," Silver said out of nowhere, shifting the dismal mood to a not much better one. He nodded at Shadow before wrinkling his nose at me.

"Amy."

"Silver."

Blaze gave me an apologetic look before fading into the crowd with her husband. Then I was left with Shadow. I never imagined I would dread it so much.

"I'm sorry about that," I said, brushing a hand through my quills. "Things have been weird lately. Especially since...you know."

"I am aware."

"But I don't know what to do," I said, trying to be honest and not uncomfortable. "I just want us to have a normal relationship." I paused before sighing. "If we ever were normal."

"We weren't," he replied. "We only communicated when your romantic antics were concerned. We don't need each other."

I glared at him. "Are you forgetting that _you're_ the one who confessed to _me_? You can't just take it back," I spat. "Feelings don't work like that."

"Feelings change," he countered. "It would be a shame if you didn't grow from your past experiences."

I clenched my fists. "Why are you bashing me?"

"Because Shadow lives to infuriate people." She emerged out of nowhere. Mina. She was grinning a wild, exhilarated smile. It almost hurt to look at her. Perfect and all. She turned to the stoic hedgehog. "Did I miss something?"

"No," he replied.

"Good," she said, placing a hand on his shoulder. I forced my eyes from the sight, turned to the audience. But all I could see were dancing couples. I turned away from them too.

Mina blinked. "Where's our friend Clarissa? Don't tell me she's not here."

"She's busy dry humping Parker over there," I said dully, pointing to the two doing the dead only with clothes. I rolled my eyes. They better not do the actual thing at the apartment tonight. _Again._

In the corner of my eye, I noticed Mina smirking. I frowned. "What?"

"I think someone's jealous..." she teased. Just then, I swear her grip on Shadow tightened. "If you're in love with Clarissa you should tell her. I might be off base, but I could sense some vibes between the two of you."

I never had the urge to murder as much as I did now.

And because I was an insane, potentially homicidal, masochist, I was grinning again. "I actually think they make a beautiful couple," I found myself saying. My brightened gaze met Shadow's. And for once, I think it caught him off guard. "You guys make a great couple, too."

Mina grinned harder. If I didn't hate her for no reason, I would have fallen in love with her. Maybe that's why Shadow did. Maybe that's why he couldn't tell her that he loved me so much that he couldn't bear to break my heart or something else admirable. That _I _was the prize he didn't want to claim. But why couldn't he?

"You hear that?" she said, moving her face closer to his. "Maybe it's time to put a ring on my finger."

He said something, but I didn't hear it. She kissed him, but I pretended not to see it. Instead, my feet found movement and I disappeared into the crowd.

I told myself I wasn't running away from my problems. But it wasn't like I was running toward a solution.

* * *

It was around two in the morning when I decided to get it over with.

"You couldn't wait until morning?" Blaze said, rubbing her eyes. I ignored her, stepping inside.

"It _is_ morning."

Blaze shut the door. "Sure, why not." She motioned toward the restroom. "Let's make this quick and quiet, shall we?" I nodded; last thing I needed was Silver ruining this brilliant operation. But truthfully, I didn't know what I needed. I guess I needed to do this for Blaze. So I would focus on that for now.

She handed me a magic stick. "Good luck."

A slight smile found its way on my lips. "I should be saying that to you and the ogre you married."

Blaze rolled her eyes before shutting the door. I did the same with my mind; I shut out all emotions and allowed my body to perform the motions. My mind turned back on long enough to process the results, and then I opened the door.

It was funny seeing Blaze so anxious. Okay, I guess it wasn't funny. She was the most beautiful person I knew, inside and out. She deserved good things, yet somehow she was stuck with me. And when her eyes fell on me, I knew I had just complicated everything.

"Why are you crying?" she said, pulling me into a hug. This shocked me—the fact that I was in tears.

"Because I'm sad," I sniffed, holding on to her tighter. "And happy."

Her expression shifted as tears lined her eyes. "You mean?"

I nodded and burst into a sob.

* * *

Darn my cliff-hangers. But hopefully the results are _a little_ obvious. Read on!

~KB


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

In continued celebration of my confirmed pregnancy, Ms. Ferret welcomed me to work with a stack of files. Cue the confetti.

"Let's discuss the case in my office," she said. I nodded, but truthfully I had no desire to get up. Although I was only about two months along, mental and physical effort were basically two sides of the same coin, exhausting as hell. To make matters worse, Blaze wouldn't let me drink coffee...

I took a seat on one of the plush chairs and immediately felt at ease. When Ms. Ferret smiled down at me, I knew something had to be going right. Hopefully no more intern status.

She folded her fingers over each other, and the professionalism was back.

"How long have you been pregnant?"

My eyes widened. Ms. Ferret only rolled hers.

"Come on, Amy. You're glowing and you look a lot healthier. Especially in the rack area," she began, as if she was justifying why the sky was blue. "Also, no sane person passes on free drinks. And I'm a mother," she added the latter detail like it was irrelevant.

Her validation was simple but unique, which probably helped my case. True, most of my friends were parents, but they weren't my boss. They wouldn't make such outlandish statements. Even if said statements were true.

My hand found my stomach. I wasn't showing, but the symptoms had revealed themselves. I made a mental note not to act pregnant around the others.

"Two months," I said. "But I'm a surrogate for my best friend. She wanted to keep it a secret until I'm farther along."

Ms. Ferret sighed. I liked to think it was in relief. My explanation was valid, right?

"Actually, this makes you an even better choice for head attorney on this case." My eyes perked up. Head attorney?

"You've been doing a great job so far," she continued, "But I think being pregnant will give you a more critical eye on the case. I mean, I know how much I hated my ex-husband when I was expecting. I think this child-custody case will make you grow. You know, other than horizontally."

"_Ha._"

"I'm serious." Her orange eyes actually looked slightly distressed for once. "I would have given it to Phoebe but she's way too mean. Your compassion is admirable, but please let me know if and when you feel your pregnancy is interfering with your judgment. This is a very important case."

"Aren't all cases important?"

"In theory." Her phone began to ring and she shooed me out. But I left her office feeling like a champ.

Now if only I could win the case.

* * *

I thought random cravings were something pregnant women made up to punish their husbands. Now that the cat was out of the bag, Ms. Ferret was on my case about eating. And since Blaze was always on my case, I was unhappily eating the balanced meal she prepared for me.

"That looks like fun," Phoebe teased.

"Wait, you're vegan?" Tahlia the Tiger, the final full-time lawyer at the firm, asked. I was a vegetarian, but Blaze had taken my diet to an even greater extreme. I mean, no cheese?!

"Unfortunately," I almost mumbled. Instead, I smiled like eating soy paste was fun. "Yup. My health is very important to me."

"What about having a life?" Phoebe said, pulling a sandwich out of the staff room refrigerator. _Mmmm...sandwich..._

I shook my head and returned my attention to my nutritious mush. I even think she mashed vitamins in here...When the two left for the courtyard area, I shoved the food in the trash. I didn't like being wasteful, but I also didn't like punishing myself.

With my bag, I started for the cafe up the street. A brisk walk turned into a light jog. I was meeting with the client in less than an hour, and nothing screamed more unprofessional than being late for your first case. I beamed.

This was my first real court case!

It was funny how life could progress so nicely. The only challenge would be keeping it this way. Thus, I wasn't surprised when something collided into me and my life spilled everywhere. Okay, my purse just fell. But practically everything inside it was on the ground.

"_Shit._" I started picking up my wallet and papers.

"My daddy says that's a bad word." I looked up slightly from the ground. Saw a little fox boy of no more than four years. It was weird how I could suddenly tell how old kids were...

I smiled at him, but I probably looked like an ungraceful mess. "Ah, I'm sorry. You caught me off guard." I strapped my purse over my shoulder. "What's your name, little guy?"

"Sage."

"Well, hi Sage," I said, shaking his small hand. "Where are your parents?"

Before he could open his mouth, a man came and swooped him up.

"How many times have I told you to stay with me?" The concern in his voice was almost heartbreaking. But when I saw his face, I'm pretty sure my heart actually shattered.

"I'm sorry, but he loves running around—" When his blue eyes met mine, his expression was just as bewildered.

A rush of emotions hit me at once, until I realized it was just vomit. I swallowed it down. But I couldn't bear looking at him.

_Him. _

Scourge.

But I did. And the sight confused the hell out of me.

_Scourge was a—?_

_Is that why he—? _

My brain turned to mush and I couldn't make sense of anything. I could feel my throat tighten, my breathing increase. Then I remembered that I couldn't breakdown. The child I was carrying needed me to be sane. And the sane thing was getting the hell out of here.

I spun around on my heels, started for the direction of the office. But I guess I was a fool to think he wouldn't stop me.

"_Rosie._" He grabbed my stupid arm and I resisted. But I didn't want to run. I didn't even know if I wanted answers. I didn't know anything anymore.

"_Y-you_," I choked out. "_Y-you_—"

"I'm sorry we had to meet like this," he said, turning me to face him. "I'm so sorry."

My face spoiled as I glared at him. "Oh, I see. You're _sorry._"

His eyes shifted to the ground. I hated how disappointed he looked with himself. But I also hated him for making me hate him. I turned to the child. He was staring at me like I was a mad woman.

"Why is she so mad?" Called it.

"Because daddy was mean to her," he said, putting the boy on the ground. "Say hi to Miss Rosie."

"How do you know her?"

Scourge offered me a pained look. He couldn't tell a four-year-old the truth, much like he couldn't do the same for me.

"I'm an old friend of your dad," I finally said. _Dad. _I could feel the same emotions/vomit rising. This was already too much. And it was only Monday.

Ignoring my feelings, I patted the boy's head. "Well, it was nice seeing you all, but I have to return to work—"

"We should talk." Scourge's icy eyes hit mine. My heart/stomach/soul jumped. And I didn't know whether to swoon or feel disgusted. Time had been kind to him, and like the others, he looked pretty much the same. Just tired.

I shrugged. I didn't know how I could shrug right now. "I don't want to talk."

Talking would stress me out. _More_. Stress wasn't good for the baby. Which Scourge had. Scourge had a baby—a child. And he didn't tell me. He didn't tell me anything. He just left me.

Like I was nothing.

But because I was trying to seal a cap on my explosive emotions, I didn't say any of this. Nope, I was walking away. Like he did.

He growled lightly before tugging on my arm again. I tugged back again, hissing. "Why don't you do yourself a favor and set a good example for your kid by LEAVING ME THE FUCK ALONE?"

"Why don't you stop being unreasonable for two seconds?"

I shouldn't have punched him. But I did anyway.

Then the boy was yelling. He was calling me a "bad lady" and was crying that his daddy didn't "do anything wrong". I scoffed. That's it. I was done.

"Just let me explain," Scourge pleaded, not even tending to his bruised cheek. He took hold of my hand. I felt a rush of electricity, but I didn't know if it were fueled by exhilaration or repugnance. I shook my head; convinced myself that his touch was poison—that I could never have loved it. Or him.

"You've had _years _to explain."

"It was never that simple," he said, his grip tightening. "You were better off without me. I _know_ you."

I scoffed. "You don't know anything about me."

"I knew you would have stayed with me even though Fiona was pregnant," he said, hitting me with the facts, the hard truths. "And I knew it would have killed you. I thought ignorance would eventually lead to bliss, but then I met with Shadow and he told me how you were.

"By the time I got the nerve to tell you, you moved to the other side of Mobius." He shrugged, but his expression was hardly shrug-able. He looked distraught and torn, and I didn't know what to feel, what to say, or what to do. All I knew was that I wanted to reject his conclusions. To show that I was stronger than he and everyone else thought. To prove that I wasn't some fragile flower that needed to be protected. That I had thorns, too.

So when my stomach started growling, I wasn't surprised that Scourge jumped to the rescue.

"Let me buy you lunch."

I didn't want him to buy me anything. But I was hungry. And hunger was against the Proper Pregnancy Etiquette contract Blaze made me sign.

"Fine."

He beamed slightly. And although the sight made me not unhappy, I could only hope that I wasn't making a mistake.

Unfortunately, mistakes were easy to come by.

* * *

"The years have treated you well, " Scourge said as he walked me back to the office. "You look...healthy." I pursed my lips.

"I'm sure you charm the ladies every time with that line."

"Not a chance." He smirked. My heart jumped even though I told it not to. "Sorry. It's just good to see that something good came out of all of this. You know, other than Mr. Mini-Me over here." He picked up Sage and he started laughing.

The scene was supposed to be light and cute, I'm sure it looked that way to anyone passing by, but my mind couldn't process light and cute things. It actually couldn't really process much of anything. Otherwise I'd be a bigger mess.

"I want the pretty lady to carry me!" Sage then said, reaching for me. I was pretty sure that anger and bitterness were physically radiating off of me. But I carried him anyway. He wasn't really heavy, but reality was. In a perfect world, maybe Scourge and I would have gotten married. Maybe I would literally be carrying our child right now. Instead, I was clutching his bastard. His adorable as hell bastard that ruined everything.

"That's enough," I said, putting him down. When I looked closely, I could see his quills were still growing. So he wasn't exactly a sly fox like his mom. Good. But he was the younger image of his father. Other than his dull green fur (that probably led to his namesake), anyone could tell that he was Scourge's son.

_Son. _

I stopped abruptly, both at the realization and because we were in front of the office. The door was already open—ridiculous because even though it was technically spring, snow still littered the ground.

"Thanks," I said, even though it felt wrong. I shouldn't be thanking him for anything. I should hate him—I should be spitting in his face. Not having the urge to ki—

"You know lunch break is only an hour, right?" Phoebe said. The porcupine's eyes grew smirky and devious when they landed on Scourge. "Who's your friend?"

I groaned before moving into the warm building. "I don't know if I'd call him that."

Because my bitter bitchiness didn't end with that remark, I didn't even bother looking back at Scourge. In fact, I just wanted him to go away.

Phoebe's purple eyes lit up even more. "I'd _love_ to be something more than friends."

"Unfortunately, I don't think I'm supposed to screw around with my lawyer," Scourge replied, half smirking. I turned away. What did I say about looking at him?

My eyes then widened when I processed what he said. Lawyer? I guess it didn't make sense to Phoebe either, because she raised a brow.

"It's only sort of illegal if we get caught, handsome." She then winked at Sage. "How about it kid? Want a new mommy?"

"No..." Sage said shyly. Phoebe only laughed, before offering him candy from the secretary/receptionist's desk. Cheered him up instantly. I wish I could be cheered up that easily.

Her attention then refocused on Scourge. "Anyway, didn't you get the news?"

He narrowed his eyes. "No..."

Phoebe patted my shoulder. My heart plunged; I knew what she was getting at couldn't be good.

"Miss Rose will be overseeing your case."

* * *

Gah!

So it finally happened after all these years! Are you happy? Mad? Speechless? Let me know your thoughts. ;)

~KB


	21. Chapter 21

Yo.

I just wanted to thank you all again for reading/reviewing. Especially Raquel the writer, Lady Miioh, Fairlyoddme, MistyVoid48, xXDarkAngelKittenXx, Cozy Shadow, TextMessage, and Nouveau for sharing your thoughts on the last set. Seeing Scourge really was a long time coming, and I can't wait for you to see what happens next. So without further adieu, please read on!

* * *

**Chapter 21**

Just when I thought life couldn't get more fucked up, it did._ Really _quickly. I guess that was the problem; hoping things wouldn't get worse just made them worse.

Like when I reached home and had the audacity to hope that Clarissa had leftovers. But I found no leftovers. Or Clarissa. Or Parker.

Just Blaze.

Yup, Blaze was just casually cooking in my kitchen. Almost as out of the blue as what's-his-face waltzing into my life again. I closed my eyes as I sat at the counter.

I mean, _what the fuck_ was that? Was the universe trying to set me up? Yes what's-his-face was in a custody battle with Fiona, which was supposed to be a good thing from my lawyer perspective (a case was a case), but the whole ordeal was as sick as I felt.

"You look sick," Blaze said, confirming just how easy it was to read me. I rolled my eyes.

"A side-effect of being pregnant, I'm afraid." On the bright side, I had only vomited twice today. And I was pretty sure one was induced by what's-his-face.

My mind immediately surged; I started thinking about him, like why he was in my life all of a sudden, why the universe hated me—

"Here, eat this." I was thankful for Blaze's intervention, until I saw the mush she was trying to offer me. I cringed.

"Who let you in again?"

She shrugged as she stirred the concoction that had the consistency of watered-down oatmeal and jello. Yum.

"I have my sources." I wrinkled my nose. Rouge.

"I just want to make sure you're getting all of your nutrients," she then said, like she was being completely sane. "I really appreciate what you're doing for me."

"Then just remind me to take pre-natal vitamins or something," I replied, half tempted to throw the bowl out the window. "You can trust me, remember?"

But could she really? After all, I just allowed Scourge to walk back into my life. I could have declined his case, explained how our history made me a biased lawyer, even if there was no law against defending your ex-boyfriend. Still, this was my _first_ case. And I had already suffered one career blow. I couldn't _not _do my job. Even if my job was now Scourge.

My heart swelled again, but I couldn't tell what it was filled with. So I ignored the sensation and started for the mush. To my surprise, it wasn't disgusting. But that didn't stop me from going to the fridge and pulling out a carton of _soy_ ice cream. I sighed. Just when I thought life couldn't get worse.

"Do you feel anything?" Blaze then asked. I blinked, looking down at my stomach. Truthfully, I tried not to look at it. I didn't need to be reminded that something was growing inside me.

"Not really. I just feel a little bloated." I would have taken the opportunity to rub my stomach, but Blaze already had her hands on it. She smiled lightly.

"It must be nice." She had that sad type of happiness on her voice that was heart-wrenching. For some sick reason, I had the honor of carrying her child. I couldn't mess this up with her by letting Scourge mess with me. I closed my eyes. Tomorrow I would decline the case and say goodbye to him forever.

I had to.

"So please," she paused, shaking her head. "If there's anything you need to tell me, don't feel uncomfortable. I really want us to be open."

Because I was an idiot, half of me wanted to spill everything right there.

But I held my tongue; I wasn't withholding information if I was getting rid of said information. And his son. Yup.

I just had to accept that life demanded to be difficult.

"We've been through too much for me to throw it all away with a lie," I replied. Blaze was still touching my stomach. I allowed myself to smile. "Besides, the little parasite deserves better."

"What little parasite?" My head snapped toward the front door. Clarissa. She raised a brow. I didn't blame her. A "pregnant" woman was rubbing my "un-pregnant" stomach. I moved back.

"See? I told you your stomach is firmer than mine," I said on the spot. "Way to put pregnant women everywhere to shame."

"Sure."

"Aww! I want to touch Blaze's baby belly!" Clarissa beamed. "How far along are you? Like four months?"

My eyes widened—I was only a little over two months. I was forgetting that Blaze was a few months pregnant before I took over. Which meant this lie was over.

Yay?

"I had pseudocyesis," Blaze said calmly. Clarissa blinked at her. Then I blinked at her. Blaze sighed. "A false pregnancy, symptoms and all. When I went to the doctor a few weeks ago, she told me I was actually only a little more than a month along." She shrugged. "It was a little disappointing, but it could be worse."

Clarissa nodded. "Right. Like you could actually _not_ be pregnant."

If Clarissa wasn't totally oblivious, I think Blaze would have set her on fire.

The purple cat smiled instead. "Right."

"Well, as fun as this is, I'm really tired." I yawned obnoxiously, hoping to end this encounter. "Thanks for visiting, Blaze. Good night."

"But you said you'd tell me how work is!" I heard Clarissa say behind my bedroom door. I bit my lip. Work was synonymous with Scourge.

And I was trying to forget one of them existed.

* * *

"So you mean to tell me you _don't _want to do this?" Ms. Ferret said. "Like you have a choice in the matter?"

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. Only she could equate an employee to a lackey.

"I'm just saying that Phoebe might be a better choice," I pushed. "It seems she's taken more of an interest in my client." I watched her flirt with Scourge outside the office. "That's all."

Ms. Ferret didn't look amused or impressed. Fuck. "I know I said you could use your pregnancy to plead insanity, but I'm going to need a legitimate reason." Her orange eyes hit mine, hard. "Do you think you can win the case?"

I pursed my lips. I had looked over the case at least a thousand times since my first meeting with Scourge. And from my hopefully unbiased perspective, it looked like a classic guilt trip case—Fiona trying to take the one thing of greatest worth to the both of them because she gave birth to it. But both of them seemed sane enough. If you didn't know them.

And with Sage being a boy and no obvious threat in either parental presence, Scourge would probably get a little bit more preference in the sole custody case. Especially if I could prove that Fiona was crazy. Which couldn't be hard.

Ms. Ferret cleared her throat. I sighed.

"Well, _yes_—"

"Then it's settled."

"_But_—"

There was a knock on the door. My head spun toward it. It took everything not to frown; otherwise my boss would eat me alive.

"Am I interrupting something?" Scourge said. _Just everything. _

"No," Ms. Ferret replied. I rose to my feet.

"Let's go discuss the logistics of your case, Scour—Mr. Hedgehog." I sighed, forcing the most natural smile I could.

Once we made it to my office, I felt his hand grip my arm. Rage bubbled inside me—I didn't know if it was because of him or the fact that I sort of liked it. I bit my lip before turning to him.

His gaze was serious, unsettling and _sexy_—I closed my eyes in a hard squint. No!

"Are you sure you're okay taking on my case?" he asked like he actually cared about me.

"I should be asking you the same thing." My voice had lowered into a whisper, but it was still harsh. "All of the law agencies in the world and you choose _here_? Are you sure you're not trying to do something sneaky?"

"_Sneaky?_" he hissed. "Do you think I feel good about this? I'm not here for you or me. I'm just trying to do what's best for my son. This is the best family-law firm in the region. I didn't know that you just started working here. So get over yourself."

I glared at him, rejecting any sort of shame I was feeling. Just like him to make me feel bad. "You're an asshole, you know that?"

"You're being unprofessional." He shook his head. "Whatever. You can send me the information when you calm down," he said before starting for the door.

"Wait," I groaned, moving toward him. "I think I have a right to_ not_ be happy about this. I didn't even get a warning."

A considerate gaze fell against mine. And for once the air between us wasn't toxic with bitterness and disappointment. We were close—not close enough to be intimate or anything, just enough to really face him. To face the reality that had been non-existent for years. When he sighed, the spell was over.

"Life doesn't come with a warning label." Then he left.

I should have been used to it by now.

* * *

Life was unexpected. Which was why I spent the better half of the hour wondering if Scourge had the right to call me out on this fact. I knew he didn't directly choose to leave me. I knew that children complicated things—but maybe I had to stop thinking that unexpected was bad. It wasn't. Scourge wasn't. But it seemed like most things that weren't bad weren't all that good, either.

"Amy." My eyes shot up from my desk. I drained the despair from my face and smiled as graciously as I could.

"Uh, what brings you here, Phil?"

The older man shrugged. "Your lovely boss. We have a lunch date."

Good to see everyone else was getting some.

My current relationship was with food...and the toilet for the food I'd subsequently throw up. So life was awesome. "That's good to hear," I replied. "Maybe Ms. Ferret will stop breathing fire."

"Only when I'm dead." There was only a little less bite than usual in Ms. Ferret's tone. She handed me a stack of files. "Give me your opinion on these cases by three."

I suppressed the urge to sigh. "Sure thing."

"And I don't know what your client went off to do, but you should definitely establish a proper meeting time." She didn't look annoyed, but she didn't look happy either. "Losing your first case sends a bad precedent."

Phil looked impressed. "I didn't know my Amy was climbing up the legal ladder."

"Trust me, she has a long way to go." The two laughed as they left for their date. And then it hit me.

What if Phil had run into Scourge? My eyes widened.

What if Clarissa ran into Scourge?

I clutched his file to my chest. Shit was going to get real, _real _fast.

"Ready for your ultrasound?" I spun over my shoulder, realizing I had forgotten the biggest beast of them all.

Blaze.

I blinked at her like an idiot before stopping myself. "Sure."

Blaze raised a brow. "Why do you look so surprised? Didn't I tell you last week?"

I closed my eyes. _Yes. _But Scourge also dropped into my life last week. Naturally, I couldn't bring my mind to remember much of anything. Other than the fact I had to meet with Scourge. Every week. For who knew how long.

I shook my head, strapping my purse over my shoulder. "Never mind, let's just leave before my co-workers get curious." It was lunchtime, and I was pretty sure I was the only one who opted to stay in. Even the receptionist/secretary was out of sight.

And I didn't need anyone else to make a random appearance.

* * *

I should have expected Parker to make a random appearance.

"Amy?" He blinked at me. His expression softened when he turned to Blaze. Who had to be pregnant. Not me. "I met you before—Blaze, correct?"

"Yes." She shook his hand like all of this was normal. "How's life been treating you?"

"Can't complain." He was smiling and being charming. "I imagine you're here for your first ultrasound. Let me know if you need anything."

I could sense Blaze give me on of those "How could you let this hunk of respectable man meat slip away?" looks as I started for the room. Or any room. I didn't know where I was going. It just had to be better than here.

"See you around," I waved to Parker. "Oh, tell Clarissa to make lasagna tonight."

"But you're vegan now," Blaze said passively, as if she wasn't the one enforcing my unfortunate diet. I rolled my eyes. More like I was being _punished_ now. But before I could object, we had made it to the reception area of the gynecology-ward.

You could smell the perk in the air before Dr. Merecat came into view.

"If it isn't my favorite friends!" she said, practically cheering. "Who's ready to catch a glimpse of nature's greatest miracle?"

"So _that's_ what we're calling it." It took everything not to scoff at the absurdity of it all. There was nothing natural about any of this. I was just a vessel; I wasn't even one of the baby's parents. I blinked at the tragic realization. "Where's Silver?"

Anyone could bet that I preferred him_ not _being here, but it seemed sort of wrong. Or at least wronger than simply withholding the truth.

"It's only the first ultrasound," Dr. Merecat replied. "It's best not to get the husbands bent out of shape until we know everything is normal."

Normal? The blood drained from my bloated body. I mean, just because I had gotten pregnant didn't mean this would go smoothly. I was notorious for crashing and burning. _Badly._ How could Blaze trust me to carry something so sacred?!

As usual, Blaze's expression was calm. I couldn't detect any apprehension or worry from her, which only made me feel apprehension and worry.

I sat down on the medical chair-thing, and felt uneasy as my body rustled against the paper-like slip. I closed my eyes, told myself it was just hormones and willed myself to feel relaxed until I felt a cool gel glide against my stomach. My eyes shot open and fell against Blaze. When she nodded...I honestly still didn't feel any better.

"Can we get on with it?"

"Stress isn't good for the baby," the doctor warned. Funny, I didn't know she could be serious. So I clamped my mouth shut, watched her press some device over my belly.

"This instrument is called a transducer. It will let us see an image of the baby on the screen," she said, nudging her shoulder in the direction of a monitor.

"I can't see anything," Blaze said, taking the words from my mouth. It looked like a weird circular-swirl of black and gray contrast. Or to be more specific, a blob. I was carrying a blob.

Dr. Merecat pursed her lips. Fuck. That couldn't be a good sign.

"What's wrong?" Blaze's voice was shaking, even if it was only lightly. This also couldn't be a good sign.

"Ms. Rose, how many weeks along are you?" the doctor asked.

"Um—"

"Nine and a half weeks," Blaze answered for me. "Now can you please tell us what is wrong?"

The doctor clicked off the monitor. "Nothing's wrong. It just appears that the appointment was set two weeks too early. We won't get a clear image until the end of the first trimester. But the baby is healthy. So no frowning!"

Blaze was frowning. "This isn't some joke, Dr. Merecat. I expect my physician not to take the health of my child so lightly."

The doctor only smiled. "As my mother once said, there's no point fixing something that isn't broken. It was a simple mistake. However, if we are too serious, sometimes we miss the the bigger issues."

I turned to the window as the two started discussing a matter that had everything, yet nothing to do with me. Seemed fitting.

* * *

It took a great deal of willpower, but I made it to his address. He had a smancy apartment in the city now, about twenty minutes from the law office. So I guess he wasn't lying. But Scourge wasn't a liar. At least, no more than I was.

My fist rattled against the door before I could tell it not to. Or convince myself to run in the other direction. Everything froze except my heart, which was beating so fast that my chest almost hurt. But this wasn't exhilarating or particularly terrifying. Again, I blamed the hormones.

When an eternity finally blew over, I heard footsteps. A door unlocking. I took a quick breath, bracing myself.

"Rosie?" Scourge looked at me like he was both confused and tired. Good to know we were on the same page. He shook his head, blinking his eyes alert. "Sorry. I just got Sage to fall asleep."

I nodded; night fell a few hours ago. After getting Blaze off my back, I had some paperwork to complete. Hell, I _still_ had paperwork to complete. But I couldn't get Scourge out of my mind. And I didn't know if that made me a committed lawyer or a dumb ex-girlfriend.

"I didn't know that a toddler could best the green menace himself," I said, folding my arms.

He attempted to glare at me.

"Right." I cleared my throat. "I just wanted to give you a statement on your case with my annotations. You will have a social worker determine whether your residence is child-appropriate anytime within the next few weeks, so I'll be assisting with that. Which will mean I'll be meeting you here. However—"

"Can we sit down to talk about this?" He yawned. "I still have to finish audits for the museum."

I blinked. "You work at a museum?"

"No." He shrugged. "Well, yes, I guess. It's a relatively new gig. Some of the cars I fixed once were on display at the Mobius Metropolitan Museum and I've been working as an art curator there since. " He smirked. "It's random, but it makes me almost as happy as Sage does."

A small smile found its way on my face, but I had no desire to step inside. Okay, I did. And even though I'd have to come inside eventually, between the hour and the casualness of our attire...It wasn't a good idea—it couldn't be.

Probably sensing my apprehension, Scourge let out a hiss, his icy eyes more tired than annoyed. "You know I don't bite."

"Maybe not anymore," I replied, walking through. I forced my brain to forget that we had ever been together—that I was just his lawyer. But what would a lawyer be doing at a client's home at this hour? As I tried to remember why I came here, I took a seat on the leather sofa. I tried to feel comfortable, but I abandoned the notion of ease years ago.

"Can I get you something to drink?" Scourge said, scratching his quills. I shook my head.

"No. But I'm sorry. That's why I came here—to apologize for today." I shook my head again. "The past doesn't matter anymore. Still, I guess it's hard to get past it."

"You're right," he said. "But I never made things easy for you. I really hurt you, and _I'm_ sorry. You have no reason to apologize for anything."

"Alright," I had no idea how to describe it—my heart felt like it was swelling and collapsing at the same time. It wasn't fair how attainable yet forbidden everything was. In this moment, I could forget everything. I could surrender my feelings for the sake of helping Scourge—I could. But I didn't know what I wanted. And now he was here. Asking for nothing, yet everything from me. But hadn't I played this game before?

Hadn't I lost badly?

A snore crackled in the air. My attention focused on a sleeping Scourge. With a sigh, I set the file on the coffee table. He looked so peaceful, and I had always been a desperate peace-seeker. And here we were, together—his arms practically open and my judgment compromised.

Something made me leave before I could go there.

* * *

~KB


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

I wasn't thinking straight. But I guess everyone knew that.

I mean, just a few months ago I was determined to be with Shadow. Now the idea of being more than professional with Scourge was somewhat alluring—like jewelry dangling over my head. But I knew that all that glittered wasn't gold. And I couldn't think of Scourge as a prize. He had abandoned me, after all.

"Can you stop pouting for once? It isn't good for the baby." My eyes widened when my ears registered who said this. I blinked at Rouge, who was thankfully rubbing her stomach. I forgot I was at her baby shower. So naturally I was standing off in space in the hallway. I gulped, tried to hide my previous alarm.

"Force of habit." I forced a smile. "Sorry. I had a random thought about Shadow. Got bummed out."

"Well, stop."

"You're the one who encouraged me to date him!" I said in a loud whisper. I didn't want the whole world to know that I was in the business of being rejected, but half of the party already knew—and the boys went to the park with the kids. I was finally free to wallow in self-pity, and here Rouge was, trying to perk me up.

"And now I'm the one telling you to get over it," she said, her voice as passive as a shrug. "He's not the only man in the universe."

"What if he's the only one I want?" I turned to the living room, where the other girls were setting up Rouge's gifts.

She pursed her lips. "Then you're in for a rude awakening."

"Too late."

She rolled her eyes before they hit mine. "Are you telling me that there's _no one_ else you can see yourself with?"

It took everything not to step back from the intensity of her teal glare. Did she know? Would she even approve of me ever being with Scourge? It was so weird—how attainable yet distant both men were. But I didn't know how I felt anymore. Just that I _was_ feeling. Everything. All at once. And it was driving me insane.

"I don't know."

"Is everything okay?" I should have expected Blaze to pop in. Her random check-ups would have you think I was at risk of exploding. And I guess I was, but still.

"Just telling Rouge that I couldn't imagine being pregnant." Technically, I wasn't lying. It wasn't like I was showing yet, so I had the luxury of being oblivious. At least, when I didn't feel nauseous. Blaze rolled her eyes.

"Being pregnant sucks almost as much as giving birth." Rouge took a sip from her glass, wrinkled her nose. "And I can't even drink _after _I give birth. Fuck men."

"Amen to that," I said, clicking my glass against hers. Also not wine. _Yay._

"Where the hell is everybody?" Cream slurred. Okay, so she wasn't drunk, but she was tipsy with something. "Let's get this show on the road!" She took another swig from her glass before dragging Rouge into the living room. With a sigh, I followed.

Sally was busy setting up some sandwich trays on the coffee table, which was honestly the only perk of being here. Blaze couldn't publicly dictate my diet without making things seem weird. So hello, cheese!

"You can't eat deli meats," Blaze whisper-threatened in my ear. "The doctor said—"

"That I'm going to die unhappy?" I said, my eyes lusting after the sandwich Cream had just taken a bite of. But I could sense Blaze's gaze burning on me.

"Lighten up, would you?" Sally took the words right out of my mouth before plopping next to Blaze. "Stress isn't good for the baby." It really wasn't. Yet for some reason I wasn't avoiding stressful situations.

"What about me?" Rouge shot out, rubbing her beach ball of a stomach. "Kids really suck. If Knux didn't want them, you'd bet I'd be doing something much cooler than attending a baby shower with you losers."

Sally narrowed her eyes. "Didn't _you_ make me plan this? At _my_ house?"

Rouge shrugged. "I didn't force you to agree to anything, Princess," she said, picking up a fancy-looking gift. Not mine. "Besides, at least the guys have the kids today. I can finally swear without any repercussions."

The twisted grin on Rouge's face spread even further as she set aside the gift. "Forget the baby shit. Let's do something interesting."

"Truth or dare?" Cream suggested, mirroring her expression.

"Fuck yeah." I didn't know why I was surprised when Rouge's eyes hit mine. "You go first, Amy."

I groaned. But when my gaze fell to my audience (Blaze finally wasn't objecting for me _not_ to do something for once), I relaxed a little bit. Sure Rouge was a spy, but she was oblivious (at least she _chose_ to act oblivious) to things that weren't special. And I wasn't special. "Fine. Truth."

"Who would you rather fuck? Shadow or Parker?"

Let hell on Mobius begin.

I rolled my eyes, half surprised she didn't consider Scourge for an option. Was the choice that obvious?

"If you are implying that I have sexual feelings for Shadow, then your mistaken," I replied calmly, refusing to let Rouge see me squirm. "I wish I could pick Parker, but I honestly don't want to either." Although my answer sounded truthful, I knew I was lying big time.

"How the hell does Mina put up with Mr. Doomsday?" Cream then considered, taking a bite from the sandwich I was just lusting for. "He must be _really_ good at the good stuff."

Rouge smirked, but her gaze didn't leave mine. "He is."

It would have been laughable, how Blaze's/Cream's/Sally's heads snapped in Rouge's direction, but I was trying not to show emotion.

"YOU HAD SEX WITH SHADOW?!" they said in unison.

"Only a fool wouldn't." Her eyes were still on mine. Unwavering and toying. I gritted my teeth. What was she trying to do? We had talked about it—Shadow didn't want me. I was trying not to want him. She knew how much it hurt me.

And here she was, practically airing out my dirty laundry!

"What the hell, Rouge?" I realized that my comment could have been interpreted many ways—probably not in an I-secretly-want-to-shack-up-with-Shadow-way, but it didn't stop me from going there. "Fine. I'd rather have sex with Shadow. Can we talk about something else now?"

The bat shrugged. "Depends. You're just _so _much more interesting. You sure you don't have any other secrets to tell?"

"Not unless you kill me."

"Boo." Rouge pursed her lips before turning to Blaze. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth," the cat replied.

"You've gotten real chummy with Amy real quick," Rouge began. "Spill. What's Amy hiding?"

Blaze shrugged passively. "She got a new job?"

The sly look on Rouge's face did not disappear. She shook her head. "No. There's something. Something big."

"Maybe you just need to accept that Amy's in a secure place right now," Blaze contended. "She's not a train wreck anymore."

"Gee, thanks," I mumbled, trying not to let irritation consume me. Geez, what was the point of making progress when people were just going to refer back to your glory-less days?

"You're underestimating my intuition," Rouge practically scoffed, before returning her attention to me again. "There's something different about Amy. Do any of you have a suggestion?"

Cream shrugged, and I tried to find relief in the gesture. "IDK. Blaze is right—Amy just looks more put together," she offered, playing with the hem of her frilly tank top. "And I'm not just talking about her dress suit." I nodded. I had to meet with he-who-should-not-be-named-in-this-particular-company later. But I wasn't too sure if I was going to get out of this alive. Leave it to Rouge to turn her baby-shower into my interrogation.

Rouge nodded; but she only looked considerate, not convinced. "What are your thoughts, Sally?"

I sucked in a breath before expelling it. No. Don't look tense—that would only add ammunition to the fire that was Rouge's defiance. I allowed the squirrel-girl to size me up, but after a few moments she sighed.

"She looks healthy," Sally finally decided. "But then again, I'm a fitness nut. It looks like she's eating more, but I can't tell if it's stress-related."

"What do you mean?" I had to stop myself from hissing.

"Sometimes people eat more when they're stressed. They can also eat more if they have more involved lives –like being a lawyer." She tapped her chin. "But maybe something does seem off..."

I turned to Blaze. We _could_ just get this over with. We _could_ just tell them that I was pregnant—it never had to be a secret. I didn't care about Silver's ego, and keeping up with this lie seemed worse than just coming clean about lying to him. Now we were lying to the others. And Rouge was onto us.

"Maybe she's having sex with someone she's not telling us about," Rouge then suggested. It was weird how relaxed I felt by that statement.

"So? I can have sex with whomever I want."

"Wait, how many guys _have _you had sex with?" Cream said, sobering up with interest. I felt eyes burn on my form, and I immediately wanted to die.

"As many as you have, assuming you're faithful to the twin-tailed wonder." She scoffed.

"So you mean to tell me," she began slowly, blinking eyes that were glossy with bewilderment, "that you haven't had sex in over _four _years?"

I pursed my lips, contemplating this. But there was nothing to think about; I had only been with Scourge. That had to be why I was all bent out of shape with him being here—he was my first, yet I was still looking for my last. You know, when I wasn't working on his case or being pregnant.

"That must be awful," Sally replied in my place. "To be introduced to love and affection and _sex _only for it to end abruptly..." She shook her head. "It would turn me off from relationships, too."

"I mean, what would you say to Scourge if you saw him again?" Cream then asked. And there was the million-dollar question.

"I don't know."

"Of course you know," Rouge said, her smirk growing even more devious. "In fact, it's obvious."

"Rouge..." Blaze warned. "What are you getting at?"

The expectant mother shrugged. "Why don't you ask Amy?"

I snorted. "Look, I'm getting really sick of this. Why can't we just enjoy the party?"

"Well, I'm getting really sick of you lying to everyone." Rouge didn't sound or even look particularly angry. But I think that was what troubled me the most. It was like she had the upper hand. And I didn't even know what game we were playing. "Especially with how much I've gone out of my way to help you. And you know I don't like helping people!"

"Sorry if I thought we were friends." I kept my voice even, tried not to be affected by anything. "So just come out with it—what's your hunch, bat girl?" Rouge's eyes narrowed as she rose to her feet, literally pointing the finger at me.

"_You _come out with it."

So that was it—Rouge didn't actually know anything. She just had a suspicion, which was reasonable considering her profession and a contemplative spirit that could only be gained by the sheer boredom of sitting around and being pregnant. I was theoretically in the clear—but I had to give her something. And that something couldn't be bull, either.

Pregnancy or Scourge. I had to pick one. So I began with a sigh.

"Fine. If you have to know, I'm p—"

A blood curdling scream cut through the air before I could finish.

"Holy shit!" Cream jumped to her feet. "What's wrong?!"

"My water...just broke..." Rouge clenched her stomach, let out another shout/grunt/death scream. "What the fuck?! I'm not due for another week..."

Sally rushed to her side. "Come on, let's drive her to the hospital."

"No..." Rouge shook her head, stumbled toward her phone. "...Call Shadow..."

"_Shadow_?" the confusion was unanimous.

"TELL HIM TO CHAOS CONTROL HIS ASS OVER HERE!" She looked like she was dying, but somehow she was still standing and breathing fire. "NOW!"

A phone was tossed in my direction. It felt like we were playing a game of hot potato, only I couldn't reject it. I cursed before dialing.

"Hello?" Despite the hellfire surrounding me, my heart started beating faster.

"Um, Rouge is—" There was a flash. Shadow appeared, and in the same instant he swept Rouge in his arms. Then they flashed out.

And the rest of us stood there, baffled and blinking.

"Is it me," Cream contemplated, "Or did Shadow just get hotter?"

* * *

The twenty-minute drive to the hospital was filled with conversation about the extent of Shadow's fuckability. Blaze looked like she wanted to kill herself. I think she stole the expression from me.

Once we parked, I practically ran into the building. Blaze chased after me (surprise) but I let the madness of my mind guide me. I mean, Rouge was pregnant. I was pregnant. That meant I would be Rouge. Screaming. Dying.

Birthing.

I thought the screaming was all in my head, until I ran into Parker, who was dawned in medical scrubs.

"I'm going to assume you're here for Mrs. Echidna?" He pointed to the room across from us, which was producing the wailing. My stomach turned.

"Unfortunately," I replied, trying not to freak out. Birth was natural. It was no big deal. It just hurt a lot. And I hated pain in every shape and form.

"To be honest, she's pretty dramatic. I still remember her from the twins. Once the epidural kicks in, she won't feel a thing." His phone started beeping. "I have to go—feel free to wait in the lobby. It should be quick." With a smile he seeped into the depths of the death scream room.

"What did he say?" Blaze said, finally walking up to me. Because sane non-doctors _walked _inside hospitals. "The others are in the lobby."

"Good. Cause we have to wait." It took a minute, but the screams finally stopped. It should have been peaceful, but it was sort of like waking up from a nightmare. Only I was still living it.

"Are you okay?"

"Just peachy."

"I'm sorry I did this to you_._" Blaze was trying not to look frustrated, but I knew that look too well. I wore it so much that I was surprised she hadn't called me out on it. "I mean, I thought of all the mechanics of your pregnancy—putting you on a vegan diet so you'd get all the nutrients you need without gaining a significant amount of weight. A late fall due date for when you start showing." She patted her own stomach. "Wearing this stupid pregnancy belly. Having Dr. Merecat tell Silver that we can't have sex in a few months because of previous complications..."

"But what's the point?" I sighed liked I was exhausted—and I was. "All you guys do is jump on me about keeping secrets, yet you insist on keeping something even bigger away from everyone. And it's not even a bad thing. In fact, the guys would be really supportive. You should give them some credit—"

"You're stronger than me, Amy." Blaze's eyes hit mine. "It's not easy for me to express myself personally. Nor am I humble enough to come forth with my pitfalls like you can. I mean, you were about to do that today with Rouge. And even though it would have meant spilling our little secret, at least you were big enough to do it.

"I have never taken my feelings seriously. But at the same time, I'm scared. I don't want Silver to think less of me as a wife and a woman because I can't bare his child. And I don't want pity from the others either." She looked down, inhaled. "And I know that my reasoning is stupid, and that my pride is unnecessary, but my brain...it says that no one else _technically_ has to know. That I don't have to feel anymore uncomfortable or guilty about this than I already do. That I can be selfish." Her eyes were watery when they touched mine again. "Even at your expense. And I am _so _sorry for that."

I had nothing to say. All I could do was look at Blaze. She was hurt, and here I was, the person finally capable of mending everything. Yet, this wasn't about me despite what she had said. It was about Blaze and the most meaningful gift I could give her.

I took her hand, squeezed it lightly. But I wanted to squeeze away the pain and devastation. Of course, time would tell if I ever could.

"I'm here for you. No matter what."

Naturally, Knuckle's yelling and dashing into the delivery room ruined any sentiment of the moment.

* * *

Yeah, so Parker lied.

Seven glorious hours later, baby Ty was a new part of the world. And honestly, I couldn't be more pissed. Between running back and forth from the hospital and office, I still had to deal with life. And life was synonymous with a shit-ton of work.

So here I was, somehow still stuck in a room with Rouge, the baby, Knuckles, Sonic, and Sally, who was carrying one of the twins. It was like one big, unfun party.

"Well that's settled," Rouge began, sipping on some hospital water from her bed. "I'm not having anymore kids."

Knuckle's laughed as he cradled his newborn son in his arms. Who honestly looked like a pale orange ball of fur. "What if Ty wants a little brother?" Rouge narrowed her eyes; it was a good thing glares couldn't kill.

"Then _you _have him."

Sonic was snickering now. "You've done great," he said, patting her shoulder. "But we should be heading out—visitation ended over an hour ago."

"When did you become a stickler to the rules?" Rouge smirked. "I guess Sally really does wear the pants in your family."

"Try you need to get some rest," Sally replied. "You're the only one I know who can be witty two hours after giving birth." She hugged our bed-ridden friend. "Good night."

"Night," Rouge replied, watching them head out the door. Her smirk then broadened. "Hey, Shads."

_Fuck._

"I'll allow you to get away with calling me that considering the circumstances." Shadow crossed his arms, nodded. "But congratulations."

"All I did was pop out a baby." She shrugged. "I can't wait to get back to work…"

I began to drown out their conversation, but to my further dismay, Knuckles left the space to get snacks for the girls. So here I was, stuck with the matchmaker from hell and her best friend. Who didn't love me, by the way.

"Well, I'll let you guys talk," I said, dismissing myself. Although I was surprised I hadn't dismissed myself earlier. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Okay," Rouge agreed. "I still need you to tell me your secret." It took everything to keep my eyes from widening.

"If I had anything substantial, you'd know." I pressed my lips in a line. "Don't tell me that motherhood has reduced your advanced spy skills to half-assed prying."

"Touché," she said, turning her attention to the crib and the sleeping baby. "It's just good to be honest. Well, sometimes."

"It is," Shadow replied. He patted Rouge's shoulder. "But you need rest. Good night."

"Night."

And just like that, he was gone without so much as looking at me. And I should have been gone too.

"You two are so weird," she was laughing now, so much that I was worried she'd wake the kid. "Why can't you guys get over yourselves and fuck each other already?"

"You tell me." I folded my arms, felt tiredness wash over me, despite this being a rather unproductive day. "But it doesn't matter. Maybe he's right—I'd be happier with a man who smiles at things other than someone else's expense."

Rouge pursed her lips. "Shadow doesn't know that I talk to you about him. And because he's Shadow, he doesn't talk about his feelings," she considered. "But I could talk to him on your behalf, at least find out why he picked Mina over you."

"But didn't we have this discussion already?" It felt like we were getting nowhere—Phil was right. I had to find someone else or get used to being alone. "I don't know how much more it will help—"

"Like any other man, Shadow has an Achilles' heel. Find it—find why he is actually resisting you and at least you have a chance of being with him. Or at least you'll finally have a clear conscious." She shook her head. "Your track record with men _really _sucks. And I understand how annoying it must be to see how easily relationships worked out for me and the others." Her teal eyes, although exhausted, were intense. "And I don't like what Shadow's doing, but I know it's even harder for him. So I'll talk to him—hopefully that can bring this whole ordeal to a close."

My mind surged as I considered her words. Closure. That word was something I had never actualized. It just seemed like nothing would ever be conclusive. But I wanted this to end—it had to.

I nodded at Rouge before sighing. "What do I have to do for you in return?"

She rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "It's not going to be easy to find a way to make him express himself without him being onto us or shutting me down completely, but it can be done…for the small price of babysitting the kids for me."

I scowled. Knuckles still wasn't back with them, which could only mean that the twin terrors were wreaking havoc in the hospital. And I could barely last a car ride with them. And that wasn't including the newborn.

"Deal?" I said, immediately regretting my decision.

"You fucking bet it's a deal."

* * *

Okay, so this was probably one of the last filler-esq set of chapters (although I don't know if you can call Rouge giving birth filler lol). Things should picking up soon, and there should be some twists that will hopefully excite and anger you. I should have another update Saturday/Sunday. Please review and have a great one. ;)

~KB


	23. Chapter 23

Yola!

I predict a pretty busy week up ahead, so I wanted to get another update in. I updated three times this week, so I'll probably have two updates next week. I've been trying to finish up the epilogue, and I really don't want to be in the situation where I have to stop updating to finish it. But hopefully I'll have it done by next week too. I don't want to waste too much time (because being a student wastes _so_ much time...), so thanks to all of those who reviewed. You know who you are. :)

Things will hopefully keep getting interesting in this set. And I hope you don't hate the cliffhangers. _If_ there are cliffhangers. You'll have to read and see. ;P

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 23**

By the time I returned home, death was an understatement for how I felt. And the word "a lot" was an understatement to all the work I still had to do.

I was too tired to even respond to the knock on my car window. Or to register the idea that it might have been an ax murderer. But when I turned and saw Scourge, somehow life trickled back into me. But not in a good way.

"The hell?" I pushed the door open, almost hitting him in the process. "What are you doing here? Don't you have a son to watch?"  
"Fiona has Sage for the end of the week. And you blew me off," he said, holding up his phone.

I blinked at him. "_And?_ You blew me off. For four years."

It was his turn to blink at me. I gritted my teeth. I wasn't the hurt ex-girlfriend remember? I was his lawyer.

"Anyway," I said, trying to dispel the tension in the air. "My friend Rouge gave birth. Between her baby shower, the hospital visit, and going to work to retrieve your files, I guess I was a little spent for time." I began to look around. Knowing Blaze, she'd probably appear from the darkness itself. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Are you keeping my case a secret from your friends?" Even in the dark lighting, I could see an emotion that I couldn't entirely place on his face. Hurt? Shame? Annoyance? "I mean, I don't give a fuck either way, but I know you do."

I didn't know why his words annoyed me. Why was _he_ irritated? "Of course I am. Blaze and I just started talking. And you were the reason my friendships crashed and burned in the first place." If I weren't so tired, I would have been yelling. I probably was yelling. I was probably too exhausted to tell. "If she were to show up right know, you'd see what true hell looks like—fire included."

"I'll take your word for it."

"I don't want to keep secrets from her or any of the others." Wasn't I already keeping secrets? But those one's could go without telling. If anyone found out about this…I'd lose all of the credibility I fought for years to rebuild. I sighed. "And I _can_ tell them. But only under one condition."

He nodded. "Please elaborate."

"We have to make sure that our relationship is strictly platonic," I began. "I'll help with the child-services worker check ups, but like you said, this isn't about us. I'm helping your son." I don't think a century would be enough to get used to saying that.

"Okay." It was weird how understanding he looked. How professional we were already being. Maybe we had moved on—"But that means I get to have a condition, too."

Just when I thought we were making progress.

I bit my lip. "Shoot."

"You have to be able to honestly answer this question." His expression was serious, but still charming. I tried to see past it as he said, "Are you sure you aren't mad at me? And if you are, is there anything I can do? Even if it means seeking a new attorney?" He was close enough for me to see the heartwarming compassion in his eyes of ice. He had that look the first time we…

He took hold of my hand, and my attention belonged to him. "I don't want to hurt you anymore."

I nodded, and I technically wasn't lying when I told him I wasn't mad at him. I wasn't. I was just mad about the circumstances, mad that life seemed to constantly make its point that it wasn't fair. And it wasn't.

It was just funny—how free we were. I could have succumbed to my feelings—my desire to rekindle the fire for him that never actually died. But I didn't know how I truly felt about him or anyone right now. I didn't know if Blaze would kill him if I so even mentioned his name. I also didn't know if I deserved better, or if no one actually deserved anything.

All I knew was that I could win his case. And that seemed like more than enough.

Scourge nodded before extending out his other hand. Smirking a smirk that I didn't hate. "Then it will be a pleasure working with you, Miss Rose."

I shook it, smiling lightly. And when he left, I wondered why my heart was on fire.

Damn hormones.

* * *

When I closed the front door, Clarissa was waiting for me. Tapping her foot impatiently.

I thought she was on to me when it hit me.

"Oh my God." My eyes widened. "Clarissa, I didn't mean to—"

"Not invite me to your little gathering?" There was hurt in her eyes, the kind that a person like me should have been aware of. "Good to know I'm your friend."

"I've been so swamped with work," I shook my head, realizing I had no excuse. "Sally gave me your invite to the baby shower…I can't believe I forgot to give it to you."

"Look, I know you've made up with your friends, but I didn't think you'd forget about me so easily." She sighed; she didn't entirely look upset anymore, but she may have just been realizing that keying my car or eating all of my ice cream was wrong. Because she _had t_o have done something to get back at me.

"I didn't," I sighed, collapsing on the couch. But I felt no relief. "Besides you have Parker. Things are fine."

"Only they aren't." She sat down on the arm. Even though my face was pressed against the cushion, I could sense her glare. "I'm not stupid. I know something is up."

I sighed; I knew this was going on too long. I knew she didn't know I was pregnant. So there was only one thing I could say that would expel all of this. I freed my face from the comfort of the cushion and focused my attention on Clarissa. I think it took her off guard.

"Scourge is my new client." There. Simple and destructive.

"WHAT?" She almost fell off the couch. "How the hell did that happen?"

I shrugged with a lazy slump of my shoulders. "Life's a bitch."

"And you aren't?" Ironically, she blinked at me like I had offended her. "What's he like now? Did he say why he left you? Why is he back now—"

"If I knew I was going to be interrogated, I would have kept it to myself." I shook my head. "It's already bad enough…"

"Why? What?"

My eyes widened. I couldn't spill secret number two. I shook my head again. "Just with failing with Shadow and finally getting my life back with the others…it's weird." I fumbled with my fingers. "And turns out he has a son…I'm on his child-custody case against Fiona."

Her mouth widened. "Shit. No wonder you've been so distant. Shit. Shit. _Shit._"

"I know."

"So how do you feel about him? Are you sure it's a good idea to be his attorney?"

"No." I sighed. "But I've talked to him, told him the seriousness of the case, and how we had to put aside everything that happened between us for it to work."

Clarissa gritted her teeth. "I don't know…still seems sort of risky."

"My boss wouldn't let me _not_ take his case." I tried to justify. "But I can't think of a better reason not to than the one we know best."

"Well, if anyone can handle it, you can," she said through pursed lips. "Just don't get your hopes up about him."

"I'm not in love with him," I said, rising to my aching feet. "Not anymore."

"Good." She pulled me into a bear hug. "Cause he's more of an asshole than Shadow."

I fought the urge to debate this—to justify that at least Scourge left me for his child, while Shadow was simply humoring Mina at my expense—but I swallowed my words before I could let them destroy me.

"_But..._" Clarissa started. I wanted to roll my eyes—she couldn't be up to any good. And when a grin appeared on her face, it was only confirmation. "…I want to see him. You know, to see if what's happening between the two of you really is okay."

I nodded. Fair enough. If only I could convince Blaze to stop dropping by at work, then this plan would be something close to perfect.

"Alright," I said, moving to my room. "But we're not going to do anything."

"So you say."

* * *

"You seem distracted," Scourge said, his eyes slightly narrowed. "What's wrong? I passed the child-safety-inspection-thing, didn't I?"

"Yes," I admitted, pulling out another file. "But that was step one. So we know you're a financially stable father with a safe living environment for your child. But how does that make you any different than Fiona? How does this make you better or more worthy of sole custody?"

"I guess with that logic, no one deserves anything." He folded his arms. "Yes, fundamentally Fiona doesn't suck. She's trying. But she doesn't seem that interested or invested. I take Sage to and from school. I've been to every parent meeting and event the school puts on. It's more of a hassle to coordinate with her when he could just be with me—he's happier with me." His eyes, practically pleading, hit mine. "I know it."

"I know," I sighed. "But we still have to convince that to a judge. Right now the best we could do is give you more custody hours, but not primary custody. Think hard. Is there a red flag I should be aware of?"

He turned to the ceiling, where hopefully the answers were. "I guess that's why I'm paying you."

I fought the urge to snort. I wasn't being paid. Not unless I won this case.

"Well, I can't really interrogate Fiona on no grounds," I replied, scribbling something on my notepad. But I had nothing, and pretending to write wasn't generating any ideas. Fiona worked in freelance (doing who knows what), and had enough income to afford a nice house of which she shared with a female roommate. The whole situation was a little untraditional, but not unsettling. If I was a judge, I'd just suggest the two of them sit down and properly coordinate a parenting schedule. And it seemed like they sort of had. Which meant I had to speak to the she-beast. That would give me everything I needed.

"So would you consider Fiona to be an unfit parent?" I said. "Because I need to hear it from you to move forward."

"Considering the fact she had him to guilt me into staying with her, I would say so."

"But we can't prove that…"

"I don't know what you want me to say, Rosie." He started rubbing his temple. "You need evidence—I can help you find some."

"Remember that the hearing is in a few weeks." I handed him a folder. "I can see what I can get on Fiona. But considering the fact that she hates my guts, I don't know how good I'll be."

His brow furrowed. "I thought you said you could win the case."

"I can. I'm just being realistic; and Fiona's a harder nut to crack than I thought." I thought she'd be like putty in my hands, especially since I had the upper hand for once. But as usual, things were more difficult than they had to be.

"Well, I guess there's no point hitting our head against the wall." Scourge rose to his feet. "I'll let you know what I can find. Can we meet next week?"

"Sure." Truthfully, I had some contracts I had to work on, but I really wanted to get this case over with. Custody battles could drag on for months. In some months I'd be noticeably pregnant. And I was trying not to be noticeably pregnant.

"I know you might think I'm being unrealistic, but I'm just trying to do what's best for Sage." He sighed. "Anyway, see you later."

"See you." But the only thing I could see was Clarissa making kissy faces through the glass door. When Scourge left, she took the initiative to barge into the space like she owned it.

"So?" she said.

"So?"

"You guys are so boring." Clarissa concluded, putting her feet up on my desk. I rolled my eyes. "I'm wasting my lunch break on you, you know."

"I didn't ask you to."

"But I did anyway," she replied, taking a bite from an apple. "And I think I discovered something that might help." She picked a recording device from under my table plant, my eyes widened. "You were saying something about how you were having a tough time proving Fiona's a monster right?"

I narrowed my eyes. "And…"

Clarissa narrowed her eyes in turn. "_And_, what? Law School 101: no one makes a case against someone for no reason. I know Scourge is trying to be reasonable—which makes him _way_ less sexy, BTW—but there has to be some issue that prompted him to make a case against her. A _huge_ issue."

"I know that," I sighed. "It's getting the secret out that's going to be hard. I can tell he's keeping something from me. But he wants me to figure it out, I guess." I cursed. _Asshole. _

"And why would he want you to do that?" She was prodding for good, but I couldn't help but be annoyed. If our conclusions were true, then it was just another confirmation that Scourge existed to make life more difficult for me.

"Because he feels guilty?" I suggested. Scourge was too smug to be guilty about anything. He was the type of person that could get caught red-handed and then turn the blame on you. Even now, I felt more frustrated with myself than him. Maybe he should be an attorney.

"Bingo." She took another bite. "But the real question is, 'What's making him feel guilty enough to _not_ tell you what need to ruin Fiona?'"

"…"

"I'll leave you with that." Clarissa announced, already to the door. "Good luck."

There was nothing good in the world. I thought I was being dramatic when Blaze texted me for the appointment I had to go to. I sighed.

Life just kept on getting better.

* * *

After the lame appointment (where Dr. Merecat confirmed I had something growing inside me, shocker) I was in a mood. Well, to be fair I was always in a mood. And the only thing that could possibly make it more bearable was food.

I walked into a vegan restaurant in Merriment Plaza, because I was in the business of suffering, and ordered the first option on the menu. No matter, I'd hate everything here—at least now I'd be reasonably surprised. They handed me some type of vegetable wrap and some tea, and I sat down like a champ. And maybe I really was remarkable all of a sudden, because I couldn't shake off the sensation that I was being watched.

I turned over my shoulder, but the place was actually sort of busy despite its specific health focus. I saw no one alarming (just hipstery), and continued to look down at my "food". I frowned. Nope, I had suffered enough for one day/lifetime. But before I could get up, a woman in sunglasses sat down at my table. Never mind that it was a cloudy April day, and thirty minutes until nightfall. I raised my brow.

"I was just leaving," I said, examining the woman. She had sort black hair, but it was hard to tell her fur color in the dim lighting. She was young, probably about the same age as me.

"Weren't you going to at least touch your food?" Before I could open my mouth to object, she took the wrap from me and took a dramatic bite. My mouth fell.

"Shouldn't you know better than to eat from strangers?" I could feel myself adding another strike to this shitty day.

She shook her head, laughing. "We're not strangers."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. Hippy crap. "Next you're gonna say that the moon has feelings."

"Probably." She set the wrap down and looked up at me. I didn't know what she was getting at, but I did know whom she was. Then her identity struck me like this random encounter.

"_Mina_?"

"In the flesh." She laughed. "Sorry for weirding you out." More like sorry for ruining everything.

But I couldn't say that. Instead I tried to look comfortable. Although I'm pretty sure I just looked constipated and homicidal. I could count on Mina to remain smiling.

"I like getting out once in a while," she began, like I asked for her perfect life story. "And this happens to be one of the only good vegan restaurants in town."

"Shouldn't you be on tour or something?" I found myself asking. I didn't know if it were mean or not, but I wasn't feeling nice.

"My tour actually just concluded," she said, moving to my bag of chips. "I have to record some new material, but I have a few weeks to chill until then."

"That sounds nice."

She nodded, her emerald eyes gleaming. "This is the longest time I've had with Shadow. Been having _a lot_ of fun with him." She winked at me. "If you know what I mean." I held my breath.

_Don't kill Mina, Amy. _

_You'll regret it, Amy. _

_You're the one that got away, remember, Amy. _

I smiled so hard that I swore she could see past it. However, she only beamed more; practically illuminated the little hellhole we were in. But nothing would have prepared me for what she said next.

"Did I tell you we're getting married?"

My eyes widened.

_"Did I tell you we're getting married?" _

Of course not. That wasn't possible. It wasn't even possible when she flashed something that looked like an engagement ring on her hand. Nope. Not real. My brain was just playing cruel tricks on me because it knew I was tired and vulnerable.

She went off to explain the story of their engagement, the winter wedding, the black and gold color scheme, and the celebrity guest list. It was all true. It was all false. Either way, my throat was too dry to produce words to reject this madness.

So I let it swallow me whole.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

He said he couldn't choose anyone. Then he chose her.

Part of me felt like Mina was lying, but the other part realized this could just be a defense mechanism. After all, why would Mina lie to me?

I had my answer—she wouldn't. So why would Shadow?

I was clutching my hands so hard that I was surprised I wasn't bleeding. But I guess my heart was. Fine, universe. I was done with love. I finally got the memo. Shadow didn't want me. And I didn't need him or even Rouge to tell me this again. Now, when he got the audacity to fall for Mina, that was the other question. But between the two of us, I guess the choice was obvious…

I clutched my fists harder. _You're a prize, remember?_

Good thing no one wanted me.

"As fun as it's been staring at you wallow in your own self-pity," Phoebe said, her face in a harsh smirk. "We have a staff meeting in a few."

"Goodie."

"You look like death," Tabitha said next. "What happened to you?"

"Nothing worth mentioning," I mumbled, flipping through some files, trying to look less pathetic.

"Then why mention it?" Phoebe sat down on my desk. "Spill. We only have a few minutes until Fran starts breathing fire."

I rolled my eyes. But she was on to something. I began with a sigh, "What do you do when the man you love is with someone else? Yet you feel like he wants to be with you as much as you do? But he's too much of an asshole to realize it?"

"Sounds like he does realize it," Tabitha said, tapping her chin. She blinked her violet eyes rapidly. "Is there a reason he doesn't want to be with you?"

I slumped my shoulders. "He said I'd be happier with someone else."

"Then it sounds like he has self-worth issues," Phoebe pushed. "You don't want to be with a guy like that anyway. That's selfish."

"Have you tried talking to the person he's with?"

I shook my head. "I spoke to her yesterday. But I don't think she knows our history. Most of our friends don't. We dated briefly before I went to law school." Emphasis on briefly.

"And you've been in love with him ever since?" Phoebe said. With a sigh, I nodded.

"Why do you like him?" Tabitha asked. I inhaled, thinking about it. My feelings for Shadow were something I couldn't easily or verbally express. Just that when he kissed me all those years ago, I felt like I had found something I didn't even know I had been missing. He was always there for me even though I never gave him credit for it. Even now, it was hard to see if our relationship had really changed, or if he was just giving me tough love. But something didn't add up.

"It's hard to say," I said after a while. "Maybe that's the problem. We don't need to be together. And the person he's with is more independent than me. I'm difficult and over-emotional and—"

"Meeting, remember?" We were lucky that the secretary caught us and not Ms. Ferret. With a sigh, the women rose to their feet.

"You're boring," Tabitha said, hopefully playfully. "Forget that loser. You're young. It wouldn't kill you to have some fun."

And then that was that. Life was still unresolved, and I had a dumb meeting to go to.

* * *

_It wouldn't kill you to have some fun. _

Tabitha was right. I had so much to look forward to in my life, yet I was wasting my positive energy on Shadow. I didn't need to be with anyone right now—after all, I was still pregnant. So one step at a time, right?

I texted Rouge. She would tell me Shadow's deal, and then I would be done. I'd focus on being pregnant, work, and babysitting Rouge's kids in exchange for the job. I'd continue to mend my relationship with my friends, and that would be it. My brain could cool down, and life would be simple for once.

Then I remembered I had to meet with Fiona and her attorney. I turned to my calendar, filled in the spot for the hearing a few weeks from now. There. No more problems.

At least not this second—

"Are you busy, Amy?" I didn't know why Ms. Ferret bothered asking, because she barged into my office anyway. She looked put together and slightly irked as usual. At least I could trust her for consistency.

"What can I do for you?" I said, folding hands together. "I finished some of the contracts for next week, and my case with Mr. Hedgehog looks promising."

The woman nodded. "That's good to hear, but I have a more pressing matter to discuss."

"Fire away."

She turned to her phone before presenting it to me. "Dress on the left or the right? Choose carefully, the fate of your career is riding on it."

I rolled my eyes. "The blue dress on the right looks professional but still fun."

The woman nodded. "I thought so, too." She then started for her office. "Carry on."

"Wait, what event do you need it for?"

Ms. Ferret stopped in her tracks and started blushing. Cue the apocalypse. "Phil wants me and the kids to meet his family. We're having dinner tonight."

I smiled. "Have fun."

She almost laughed. Emphasis on almost. "You need it more than me."

But what I actually needed was Scourge. I turned to my watch. It was late afternoon; I was supposed to meet him over an hour ago. There was a beep and I turned to my phone.

**Scott the Hippo** (aka Scourge because I didn't need Blaze snooping…): _Weird request, but could you pick up Sage from after-school daycare? Have to replace missing piece from exhibit. Thanks._

I replied okay, and he gave me the address. Then I was off to play nanny.

Fun.

* * *

The daycare was as one might expect it; it looked like a merge between an administration building and a house, with the elementary school up the street. The walls were painted an obnoxious yellow, and the teachers looked a little too happy to be sane. And they couldn't be, not with all the screaming and clattering of toys. But then I spotted the little tyke playing with a toy semi truck with two other kids.

"May I ask who you are?" one of the employees asked, smiling brightly. I handed her my ID card. "I'm here to pick up Sage. Scourge must have called in to tell you I was coming?"

She nodded. "I'm sorry, you're just so young. He said his attorney would be here, but I guess I was expecting some old woman." She shook her head, laughing. "And we just had a lesson on harmful stereotypes today."

"No problem."

"But unfortunately, because Sage is a toddler, I cannot let a child go home with a different party unless both parents confirm this. I was trying to tell Mr. Hedgehog this, but he sounded really busy. Daycare will be closing in fifteen minutes, but you're welcome to stay here with him."

I sighed. "Thanks." But then something hit me. Why the hell wasn't Fiona here? I turned to the rabbit as she checked a child off with their parent. "Do you know why his mother doesn't pick him up? I know she works in freelance, but wouldn't she have some flexibility in her schedule?"

The woman frowned. "Honestly, I don't know if I should get into this, especially if it is a legal matter."

"Unfortunately, it is," I replied, clicking on my voice recorder. "Mr. Hedgehog and Ms. Fox are in a custody battle for Sage. If you know something that could affect Sage's wellbeing or safety, legally you are required to tell me."

Her eyes widened, but she seemed more relieved than surprised. "Well, from what I've seen, Scourge is a great father. He really loves his son. And if someone should have custody of Sage, it should be him." She nodded. "The reason why Miss Fox doesn't pick up her son is because she got into an altercation with one of the other mothers. I think she gave her a bloody nose or something. But one of the parents picking up their twins was a police officer, so he was able to resolve the matter without any one pressing charges if they agreed that Mr. Hedgehog would pick Sage up from then on. But I don't think he knows this."

"Do you have this event documented?"

"Yes," the woman said, moving to her office and bringing out a file. "I can also give you the contact info for the police officer."

"Thank you." I put the file in my purse, feeling a little bit more optimistic.

"Sorry I'm late." I jumped a little when I saw Scourge.

"Five minutes to spare." The woman tapped her watch. "I don't think this man has ever been late picking up his boy."

"I'm going to need that in writing," I said, half (okay, completely) serious.

"Sorry, Mrs. Rabbit," Scourge said, returning with Sage. "I just saw the last part of your message." He turned to me. "You didn't have to wait. You could have told me."

I shrugged. "I was already here. And what can I say? I like the little guy." Sage took that as a cue to literally jump in my arms. I think children were just trying to destroy themselves. Good to know we had something in common. "Besides, we still need to go over your case. I have some new evidence." I winked at the girl before heading off.

The April air was warming up, and the sunshine that would have usually annoyed me actually felt refreshing with the breeze. I didn't know what was getting into me (my money was always on the hormones) but I was finally feeling okay.

"What's gotten into you?" Scourge said, stopping at the parking lot. "You seem happy."

"Happy is an overstatement," I replied, starting for my vehicle. I was just finally making progress with his case. And I was sure I still had more gems of information to find. "I guess I can meet you at your place."

"I'm going to need my son first."

I looked down, saw that I still had the child in my arms. Huh, he seemed lighter. I tried to set him down, but he rejected the movement.

"I never get to see Miss Rosie!" he was pouting his lips dramatically like he actually had problems, and my heart fell slightly.

"I'll make sure your daddy brings you to the office next time. We have more candy."

The boy cheered, and willingly went into his dad's arms.

"I have to take him to Fiona, but I'll meet you there," he said, fastening the kid in his seat. "See you in an hour."

"See you."

* * *

In my minuscule amount of downtime, I feasted on a roasted vegetable medley and the soy-puke Blaze oh-so nicely packed for me. I guess I should have been happy; I was putting on some weight, but it wasn't that noticeable, which made sense. I mean, most babies weighed less than ten pounds at birth. So there was no need for me to swell up like a super balloon.

I still had baby thoughts on the brain as I knocked on Scourge's door. Maybe I was a bad person, but I was giddy to tell him the news about the case. The cop who witnessed it—Sergeant Bear—confirmed Mrs. Rabbit's story. Maybe proving that Fiona was a psycho-maniac would be simpler than I thought.

"Hello, Miss Rose," Scourge said, smirking innocently. "Sorry for the wait. And making you pick up/wait with Sage. I really appreciated it."

"No problem," I replied as he shut the door behind me. "I'm here to keep everyone's best interests at mind. Especially Sage."

Scourge nodded. "What did you want to tell me about earlier? You mentioned evidence?"

"I may know why Fiona refuses to pick up Sage from school," I said, sitting down. "It just so happens that—"

A ringtone sounded in the air.

"Shit. These guys won't give me a break," he said, pulling out the device. "Hungry? Kitchen's open."

"I'll grab us some water." Scourge nodded before taking his call. It was almost funny; listening to a guy who once told me he enjoyed gardening now going on about expensive artwork.

I opened the fridge, and got a taste of what this bachelor was feeding himself. Which wasn't much. There were no beers (surprisingly), but there was a ton of food wrapped in child-like logos. I checked the pantries. Same deal.

But Scourge had to be hungry, right? It was almost eight, and between his work and Sage, he couldn't have time to eat. _I _didn't even have time to eat. And if Blaze didn't have me on contract, I'd be starving right now. I spun toward the living room. He was still at it. I clenched my keys in my hands.

"I just need to get something from my car," I said. He nodded again, and I was gone.

I returned ten minutes later with a bag of what would eventually be dinner. He was still on his phone—but I slipped past him and went to the kitchen. It took another ten to get something of a vegetable stew and brown rice boiling. It was then that I heard the silence. Scourge came to the kitchen, set his phone down on the counter, and then stared at me. Like I was crazy.

My eyes widened. Damn. I had gone too far. He was probably thinking why the hell was his attorney cooking a bunch of vegetables when he's a damn man. I turned off the stove. "I figured you might be hungry. I was. And you have no food for adults here."

I started cleaning up the delectable mess I made, but each second made me feel more awkward. He wasn't saying anything. Then I realized that whatever had him startled probably wasn't me. Maybe it had to do with his call. I turned off the sink and spun around.

"Is everything ok—" Before I could finish my sentence, our lips smacked together.

* * *

WHAT!? Please review!

~KB


	25. Chapter 25

Hey!

First of all, I want to thank Cozy Shadow, Pazlet, Raquel the writer, guest, Nouveau, Lady Miioh, xXDarkAngelKittenXx, Angelinx, Fairly odd fairy, NotBornHatched, MistyVoid48, and x K.S.P forever x for reviewing the last set. it was definitely a new record...but you know records are meant to be broken, so please continue to review!

Also, I know everyone's pissed about Mina, but surprisingly not that shocked about the kiss between Amy and Scourge lol. But then again, when you get closer to the full story, maybe your ideas about everything will change...

I also wanted to say that I'm finished with the epilogue! Well, _for now_. Your reactions help me significantly in terms of editing, and I've made some big edits in the last few sets of chapters. Thus, please know that I take everything you guys say to heart, so don't be afraid to offer both your critiques and criticisms. It's how we grow, people. ;)

So without further delay, here are the next set of chapters. I apologize if they're a little short, but I hope you like them nevertheless.

* * *

**Chapter 25**

I didn't know who started it. But to make matters worse, I didn't know if I wanted to end it.

We stood, frozen—not really kissing, but kissing. It was just nice, being in his presence in this way again. It was like all the hurt evaporated, and it was okay to indulge in the blissful sensations of his lips. Then I realized this wasn't some fantasy. My eyes widened.

Scourge stepped back first, visibly flustered and disappointed. "Seriously? We _just_ made a promise nothing like this would happen."

"Shit." I didn't know if I was referring to how good the kiss was or how fast everything could get fucked up.

"I'm sorry," he said, moving to the door. "It's been a long day. We're both tired. We can reconvene tomorrow."

"I'm not."

He raised a brow. "You're not what?"

"I'm not sorry."

There was a pause, and then he found my lips again. I honestly had no clue what I was doing, or how I was feeling. He deepened the kiss, pulled me him. The exchange went on for as long as my stupid brain could stand me not breathing. I pulled away, but I was still in his arms.

"I've been dying to do that for years now," he said, his icy eyes satisfied yet distraught. "Looking at you today made me think of how I ruined everything. How Sage could be our son. How we could be cooking dinner." He sighed, and I could feel his warm breath on my face. "We could've been a real family."

I felt like crying; I was surprised I wasn't. "It still doesn't make it right." My lips were tingling; my throat was burning. But I ignored the sensation. I couldn't think about this—the should of, could of, would of. It was too late, and I didn't want to entertain any ideas. "I-I have to go."

"_Rosie_."

I left as fast as my feet could carry me, made it to my car before realizing I had forgotten my stupid keys. I made the walk of shame back to his apartment. I knocked on the door.

"I forgot my keys."

"Okay."

He walked off, and I didn't know if I was more disappointed with him or myself. My body was on fire, but I didn't know if it were rage or lust. Yet when he offered me the keys, I set them down on the table. And I threw myself back on him.

It was the hormones. It had to be.

He shut the door behind me, and straddled me against the wall with his strong arms. His kisses were intoxicating and I drank him up, sucking on his lip as he pulled back to attack my neck. He sucked hard and my brain scattered. I hissed a blissful hiss.

"_Scourge_," I whimpered. He found my lips again, and our tongues danced fiercely. I squealed when I felt his member prod against my thigh. My hands were getting dangerous, and they started unbuckling the belt of his pants.

"_Rosie_," was his warning. "_Are you sure_—"

I squeezed his groin; he let out a groan. My messy hand job continued until he was pulsing and hard. When I stopped, he grew restless. He growled lightly before lifting me to the kitchen, nibbling on my ear and whispering all the things he was going to do to me.

He placed me on the counter for leverage. Hitched up my dress and slid down my underwear. But his eyes focused on mine, as if to ask for my consent. I pulled him into me with a kiss, secured myself on his shoulders. One thrust was too much. My eyes practically rolled out of my head as a rush of euphoria hit me. Unintelligible moans escaped me as he moved in and out slowly, torturing me. Making contact with that part of me that…felt too good to be true...

He was smirking, which was turning me on more, and I dug my hands in his back. The mad rhythm of fucking was hypnotic, and I was lost in his touch.

"It's been _so_ long," he said. A few of his fingers found my clitoris, and began rubbing furiously. I almost cried out. One of his hands—destructive hands—found my hips and he rolled his faster. I bit my lip, clinging onto him harder. My brain was screaming for release, and I could see it on the horizon. "You like that?"

I nodded. _"I'm about to_—" On cue, the good feelings stopped. I was restless and horny, and I wanted to smack him until he kissed me, carried me in his arms again.

"Not yet."

Before I could object, he dumped me on his mattress. He was on top of me again, only now he was prying off my blouse, snapping off the front-hook bra I had worn today as if I was asking for it. He feasted on my breasts, circled his tongue around my nipples, while taking taunting nibbles.

"_Don't stop_." I held his head closer to my chest, before pulling his shirt over his head. "_It feels…so good_."

"You feel so good," was his chuckle of a reply, before he moved my legs apart and entered me again. He groaned as my lips found his neck. Light pecks evolved into rougher gapes, and I moved on top of him. Kisses traveled down to his chest, his scar, until he tilted my head upward, and suckled on my chin.

"Ready to finish this?" he said, capturing me in another lip-lock, reclaiming dominance on top of me. I met his hips in an upward thrust. He bit his lip before meeting my pace.

"_Faster,_" I moaned like the desperate whore I was. We clenched onto eat other like we needed this, like lovemaking could restore all balance to the universe. Our eyes met, glazed over in a type of lust we called love. Our lips met yet again. But it was a different type of kiss. Harsh but apologetic. Rough but loving.

My vision was growing spotty, and that mind-shattering sensation I hadn't felt in years came all at once, overwhelming me.

"_Scourge, I'm cu—" _My back arched, and my toes curled against the sheets, as if to cling me back to Mobius. My mouth widened, but no noise came out of it. All I could see was what I could feel. And it felt beyond good.

He was thrusting hard when his moment came. "_Shit._"

I closed my eyes, and was lost in the sensation of being found as he came. His movements diminished as he groaned. With a heavy breath, he rolled from on top of me, pulling me against him. I placed my head between the crook of his neck, felt his chest heave as he chuckled lightly.

"_That _was…"

"Unexpected," I finished for him, letting the sensations wash over me. Reality was beginning to set in, but I ignored it. I was going to lawyer hell anyway. I kissed him again, tired yet exhilarated. "But I needed that."

Scourge pouted. "I knew you only wanted me for my body."

"You wish."

"I did," he replied, pecking my shoulder. "And it came true today."

I fought the urge to scoff. "I didn't know I was that important to you."

Just then the atmosphere grew somber. He looked at me like he didn't give a fuck about just fucking me. "You _are._ That's why I couldn't drag you down with me then."

"Then why is it different now?" I didn't know why I was suddenly being so defensive. I mean, I felt pretty good. Hell, I felt _really_ good. But it also felt like I was going in circles. "You're right—I probably wouldn't have left you. But you can't assume I'm the same person from before."

"I'm not," he admitted. "I'm just sorry about everything."

"Was that before or after we did it?"

"_Rosie_."

I sighed. My brain was regaining consciousness. And it was telling me that this was wrong. That I'd always be wrong, especially if Scourge was concerned. My hand felt his face, just to make sure this was really real. I shook my head. "I just can't believe you're back in my life again." It was like a dream come true and my worse nightmare.

"But you turned out great," he said, rubbing my arm. "You didn't need me."

"Don't say that." But I didn't know why I was complaining. He wasn't the first one to declare such painful truths.

He shook his head. "You can't seriously tell me that you haven't been with anyone else since then. That you've never slept—"

"You're the only one," I replied. His eyes widened and I sighed again. "You weren't some other guy to me. I really thought we had a chance. And I understand now, but it seemed so unfair then."

"I _was _unfair to you," he said after a while, pressing his lips against my forehead. I closed my eyes. "But I'm here now."

"I know," was my reply. So I just held onto him. My mind was racing with questions, but I didn't want to discuss anything. Like what this was. Where it would go. Nothing. I just wanted to breathe him in and pretend that we were something more than what we once were.

~KB


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

I woke in a bed that wasn't mine, wrapped in arms that didn't belong to me either. A rush of confusion hit me, and then I realized that last night wasn't a dream. And I didn't know whether to be frustrated or relieved.

Scourge was still sleeping. His breath was warm and soft as it trickled against my forehead. I breathed him in before carefully pealing him off of me. I made it to the side of the bed when an invisible hand latched onto my arm.

"I have to go to work," I replied to the gesture. But it couldn't have been up to six. I didn't have to leave just yet, and I could tell he was aware of this. He yanked me down, and I was in his arms again.

"I thought _I _was your work." It was still sort of dark, but somehow I could see the stupid smirk on his face. I didn't know if it bothered me or if it bothered me.

Just like I didn't know why I was suddenly kissing him. I cupped his cheeks as I deepened it, falling further into his loving depths. His hands roamed along my hips, and I moaned slightly.

"Good morning to you too," he said in between kisses.

"Good morning," I replied, sighing. "I'm sorry for trying to run off earlier. I just don't want Clarissa to worry."

Scourge wrinkled his nose. "Is that your roommate?"

"Yeah." I began to rub his shoulders. "And I told her that I wouldn't let this happen."

"Well, it happened." He took my hand into his, and his tired eyes gazed into mine. "What are we going to do now?"

I wanted to shrug, but the act almost felt more unprofessional than what I had done. "We carry on. I'm still on your case," I decided. "Having sex with you isn't illegal."

"I meant about us—"

My tongue found his neck, silencing him. Then my lips. He groaned.

"We're fine." It was the truth as much as it was a lie. But I didn't want to talk. Not with my mouth, anyway. My eyes, probably glazed over with too much lust at this hour, found his. Hands, that were up to no good, started violating his hard body. "So why don't you just fuck me again?"

He looked slightly surprised, but his hand brushed through my quills, and he tilted my face toward his. We were an inch away from kissing. "What has gotten into you, Rosie?"

Before I could tease him with a response, we were at it again.

And again.

* * *

"You're late."

My head spun toward Ms. Ferret's direction. I fought the urge to roll my eyes as I shut the front door. "Only if being late is early." It was Saturday and work didn't start for another thirty minutes.

She raised a brow at me, her orange eyes unconvinced and probably irritated at my unnecessary sass. And it was unnecessary; I was in a pretty good mood. "You're usually here around nine." She took a sip of her coffee before disappearing into her office. "When did you get a life?"

"Why do you look so happy?" Phoebe asked next. "Weren't you crying a river yesterday?"

"Good morning to you too."

Phoebe rolled her eyes. "Well, whatever you're doing, keep doing it." She took a file from the main cabinet. "Maybe you won't suck the joy out of working here for once."

"I can't make any promises," was my reply. Reality had set in, but it was so absurd that I couldn't believe it. I had sex for the first time in four years. With the same guy who took my virginity and also robed me of happiness in that time.

Was this the progress I had made? Why was I still so vulnerable?

But _was_ I?

I turned to some cases and tried to distract myself. But the only thing I wanted to distract myself was with Scourge…No, I had to stop thinking about him.

I wasn't vulnerable—I just had a lapse in judgment and gave into to my sexual desires. That was it. And although Blaze would probably rip both of our heads off if she found out, part of me didn't care. I wasn't a victim. I wanted it just as much as he did. It meant as much as it did nothing.

I just had to keep telling myself that—

"_You again_." I looked up, saw the fox attorney from the alimony case a few months ago. My eyes narrowed.

"What's your name again?"

The man scoffed. "My client warned me that Mr. Hedgehog would pick an arrogant lawyer." His expression was passive, yet harsh. "Miss Rose the intern, I presume?"

"Try attorney at law."

He rolled his eyes. "I knew you two were up to no good."

"Whatever," I said, before my eyes widened. "Wait. _You're_ Fiona's lawyer?"

The man responded by setting a piece of paper on my desk. "Just got notice from the judge. Our hearing is in two months. And in that time Miss Fox would prefer not to have contact with you, and that you stay away from her son."

I almost scoffed. What was I, a pedophile? And like I needed to talk to her to see her trail of dirt. "I can't control if Scourge brings his son to the office." I almost balled the paper up. "She has some nerve."

"And you don't?" He narrowed his eyes. "Defending your ex-boyfriend is hardly professional. Consider yourself lucky that I did not out you to your boss or the judge."

"Gee, thanks." I returned his glare. "And it's not like I asked to be his lawyer. I just want what's best for Sage. So why don't you get off your high horse and tell Fiona that?"

"Or you could drop your case." He folded his arms. "My client is willing to compromise."

"Then why did she start a custody battle?"

"Why don't you ask _your_ client?" He was already out the door. "Goodbye."

More like good riddance.

I flexed my arms, studying the paper. So Fiona brought her lawyer to fight me? I took a deep breath, dismissing all of my negative feelings. At least she was finally being civil.

But this left me with two things on my mind. First, I had to find out who really started this custody battle. Second, why was Scourge hiding something from me?

My fingers found my phone, and I began to text Scourge. I typed three words before deciding against it. If he wanted to tell me, he would have. That meant I had to play detective.

In doing so, I saw about a million other messages on my phone. _Damn._ How had I not checked the thing? Then I remembered last night. This morning.

Fortunately Clarissa slept over Parker's so I didn't have to explain my case. Blaze reminded me of an upcoming appointment. My eyes widened when I saw a message from Rouge.

_Meet me after work. It's urgent._

* * *

Evening couldn't come any slower.

By the time I made it to her front door, my mind was surging. Rouge was playing coy, and had chosen not to reply back to my texts. I took a deep breath before knocking on her door. But I was in for a slight surprise when Sonic opened it.

"Ames is here, Rouge!" He called behind his shoulder before smiling at me. "What's crackin'?"

"Your skull if you don't tell me what's going on." I stepped inside, wrinkled my nose when I realized there were a few cars other than mine parked in front of their driveway. With a laugh, Sonic disappeared from the foyer. So this was either a party or an intervention. And I had my money on the latter.

Before I could attempt to get the hell out of here, I spotted Rouge at the staircase.

"Amy!" she said, meeting me. "We need to talk."

I pouted my lips. "About what?"

She rolled her eyes at me, leading me into the hallway. "You're the one who texted me, remember?"

Just then, reality clicked. My eyes widened. Did she talk to Shadow? Mina? I shook my head. No. It didn't matter anymore. I had already dug myself in another hole. And I was still trying to see if I wanted to get out of it.

I took a deep breath. "It's okay, Rouge. I think I'm fine now."

She raised a brow. "If you thought I asked you to come hear to share secrets, you have me confused with Cream." Her eyes proceeded to narrow. "What I want to know is what you were doing last night. I told your fan girl that you were with me. So spill."

I sucked in a breath.

"And before you lie—" Her lips were almost touching my ear. "—Remember I'm a spy."

"Aren't you rhymy today." I turned to the hallway that led to the living room. I could hear Sally. Knuckles. Sonic. I wished I were them.

"I hooked up with one of the lawyers at a nearby firm." I tried to look embarrassed. There. I wasn't _completely_ lying.

"You? Hook up?"

I sighed, lowering my voice to a whisper, "I told you its been years. But it won't happen again. It was just a moment of weakness." Now I _was_ lying.

Rouge pursed her lips. "Fine. I didn't really care if you were lying."

I shrugged. "Was there anything else you wanted to ask me?"

"Yes. Watch the kids for us."

Us?

"It's getting late, Rouge." I heard Knuckles say as he approached the hallway, he nodded at my direction. "Thanks for babysitting."

"You're welcome, I guess," I mumbled. "Wait, where are you guys going?"

"I can't believe we got forced into a triple date with them." I then heard Sonic say to Sally, as the rest of the dinner cast assembled. "I mean, Shadow with Mina? How the hell did he get engaged before Amy—" his eyes widened when he found my glare.

"Hey, Ames…" The blue blur offered me his signature grin. "…You look healthy."

"Save it," I growled, turning to Rouge. "Why don't you kids get out of here before I change my mind?"

"Fair enough." Rouge handed me a bag of nursing supplies. "Ty actually sleeps through the night, so just check on him. You're biggest battle will be making sure our precious angels and Sonic and Sally's monsters don't cause a racket."

"Okay."

"Seriously, whatever you've been doing with the girls, you should keep it up," Sally said, prodding Rouge in the arm. "Make sure you keep a good eye on the boys; Blaze should be here any moment—" The doorbell rang before she could finish.

"Good evening," Blaze greeted, stepping inside. She looked a little fuller, then I remembered the padding. This charade we were playing. Goodbyes were exchanged, and then I was left with Blaze and the babies.

"So Shadow is getting married." She wrinkled her nose. "I guess it's just a matter of time before hell freezes over."

"Whatever. I don't care," I replied, moving to the living room where the kids were calmly watching a cartoon movie. Rouge probably put the fear of life in them. Worked for me. I turned to my friend. "He obviously doesn't want me in his life, otherwise he would have told me. I'm finally over it."

She nodded. "If you're sure."

Honestly, I wasn't sure about anything. All I knew was that I was pregnant, I had a good chance of winning Scourge's case, and that what we were doing was so wrong that it felt right.

"Anyway, I have more important things to think about." I was right around three months now. Pretty soon I'd be showing. Which meant more than I was willing to consider.

"I'm not going to ask you how you're feeling, because that can be annoying," Blaze decided. "But I think babysitting will be good for us. You know, in case you feel like helping me when the baby comes."

"Of course I will," I patted her shoulder. "The real question is how are you holding up. What about Silver?"

"He's as oblivious as ever," she said, rubbing her pseudo-stomach. "He's just happy that the pregnancy is going well." She turned to the kids. "Which reminds me, we can find out the gender next week."

I started rubbing my stomach. It was weird; I still couldn't grasp how there could be a person inside me. "Did you want to find out?"

She shrugged. "Yes and no. I guess we'll know in the moment."

"And what about Silver? Doesn't he have a right to be there or something?"

"Well, I could just keep to the plan of scheduling appointments when he's unavailable, or I could tell him, and he could press his head against _your_ belly to hear when the baby kicks instead of mine."

The baby kicking just felt like weird, occasional abdominal bubbling. But she was right, I didn't think about the fact that telling Silver meant dealing with Silver. "Never mind."

"We watch the ultrasound videos at home," she said like this wasn't weird. "But he and Knuckles are busy with some investigation project with the UN of Mobius. And going to the clinic bums him out."

"So how does he think _you _feel?"

"He knows that I go with you," she pushed, moving to the kitchen. She brought out some grilled cheese sandwiches and juice. Began to set them on the little play-place/table in front of the television. The children cheered. "He's glad that our relationship is mending."

"Yeah." Yet here I was, fucking around with Scourge. While pregnant. With her kid. I should have been drowning in shame, but I just felt over everything. _I'm not doing anything wrong, _I assured myself. _Not yet._

"Anyway, " Blaze began again, her sullen amber eyes suddenly more hopeful. "I'll pop up some popcorn and we can suffer with the children. Especially when the movie ends."

"But won't that be their bedtime?" she shot me a grave look.

"For whatever reason, it is always a fight _every_ night to put a kid to bed." She plopped on the couch. "I don't know how the others do it everyday."

"So why do you want to have kids?" It was sudden—I probably should have refrained from asking, given the circumstances. But it was a question that had been dawning on me ever since this started. It seemed like those who didn't care (*cough* Fiona *cough*) could have them easily. Yet Blaze, who deserved motherhood far more, had to go to extreme lengths. I know the world wasn't fair—but how had reality not fazed her?

The cat shrugged her shoulders, turning to the screen. "I've always wanted a family to call my own. I found one with Silver, but lately it feels like something's missing. I know children are a hassle, but so is life." She shook her head. "I don't know. The urge is sort of like falling in love."

"How do you know when you're in love with someone?" I felt foolish, like a child asking where babies came from.

Blaze pressed her lips together. "Honestly, you can't describe it. It just feels like the universe is fighting for you." She patted my stomach, smiling. "Like now."

My heart swelled, and tears would of come had the movie not ended. Hell of child-like proportions broke through the room, but I was realizing my hell wouldn't end any time soon.

* * *

I'll try to have an update up sometime this week. I have an important presentation, so it could be anytime before the weekend. However, if I can't get one in by then, it probably won't be until Monday. Please let me know your thoughts. :)

KB


	27. Chapter 27

Happy Halloween!

I guess it's fair to say that none of the chapters in this set will traditionally scare you, but I'm not promising that there will be no scares. Or tricks. Or treats.

I want to thank Cozy Shadow, Raquel the writer, NotBornHatched, Guest, xXDarkAngelKittenXx, x K.S.P forever x, Angelinx, MistyVoid48, FFLuvr, and Nouveau for your reviews. It's another new record! But in all seriousness, please review at will. That's my Halloween pass lol. Also, I want to apologize if I unleashed the sexiness without warning. I don't want to give things away, but please know that if it makes you uncomfortable, you won't be missing too much relevant content if you skip it. I also know that some of you are concerned about Amy, but as a biology major, I can tell you (with my potentially limited knowledge) that pregnant women _can_ have sex. Also, first-time pregnant women begin to show a bump between 12-16 weeks (the end of 3 months to the end of 4 months). I believe Amy is just around three months so I think it makes sense for her not to be _super_ showing or anything. And Scourge hasn't seen her in a while and is an oblivious male, so there's that.

Anyway, don't want to hold you up! Enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 27**

"Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone," Clarissa said, dragging her suitcase toward the front door. "I mean it."

"What kind of idiot do you take me for?" I said, like a teenager fighting her over-protective mother. I took another bite of the dinner she cooked. It was still noon, but I had abandoned the notion of order in everything that wasn't law a long time ago.

"A fat one." She took the pot of rice from me and placed it in the fridge. "Parker should be here any minute."

"What are you really going to do in a cabin for the long weekend?" I found myself asking. The goofy grin on her face, however, answered my question. My face spoiled. She rolled her eyes.

"It's weird how well our relationship is going." She paused. "Not to rub it in your face."

"You're not." I took a seat at the kitchen counter. "I'm glad you guys are happy. I'm happy you're happy."

"Yeah, but it seems like we don't hang out anymore." She pursed her lips. "When we first got here we were practically attached at the hip."

"Time changes things," I replied. "But everything's fine for once. So please don't sweat it."

"That's good to hear." It was Parker who said this as he walked into the space. But the positive atmosphere died the second he laid his eyes on me."You look...different."

"I've been eating more," I pushed, trying not to freak out. I was forgetting Parker was a physician—and a gynecologist at that. "Nice seeing you, but you two should get going if you want to beat the traffic."

"Have you been seeing anyone?" He pursed his lips, moved closer as if to evaluate me. Like a doctor. Holy shit. He _was_ on to me.

"Not since you." The air grew even more uncomfortable, but at least I had resumed some control. Parker stepped back, nodding slowly. But there was barely any relief in his eyes.

"That's good to hear."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Clarissa replied for me, somehow more annoyed than I was. Before Parker could probably spill his doctor inclinations, Clarissa pushed him out the door. "Save it. Let's just leave before you say something else you'll regret."

"Fair enough." He sighed before waving goodbye. "Be safe, Amy."

Clarissa shot me a look before shutting the door behind her. "Good luck on your case."

But I knew what that look meant. She was telling me _not_ to fuck around with Scourge. I sighed—it was like she knew me as well as she didn't. Maybe if she actually said something, I wouldn't be okay with what was happening. A knock on the door assured me that she grew some balls and was ready to reprimand my behavior. But when I opened the door, a pair of lips met mine.

Scourge cupped my cheek, and I opened my mouth wider against his. The exchange continued for as long as I could stand, and I pulled away with a smack.

"I've been waiting a week to do that." He kissed my lips again. "How are you doing, beautiful?"

"I could be worse." I buried my head in his neck. "My roommate's on to us."

"The cat and her boyfriend?" he asked, pointing a thumb behind him. I nodded.

"Trust me, she's not _that_ smart."

"What do you mean—"

He walked toward the coat hanger, pulled off my purse and punched his hand inside it. I heard a rip, and before I could object, he pulled out a small voice recorder. I blinked at the device as he clicked it on. There was mostly static until I heard it. Muffled voices. Then moaning. Mostly mine.

Scourge smirked. "Hell, I didn't know I was that good."

"Turn it off!" I said, starting to wrestle him for the thing. How the hell did she do that? _Why _would she do that? I shook my head—I had no right to complain, other than the fact I now had a ruined purse. I was the only one who broke a promise. "How the hell did you know?"

"I have killer instincts," he replied, finally clicking the device off. I glared at him. "Nah, she was briefing her boyfriend on the details while I snuck in. Ironic, right?"

"More like mortifying."

"More like sexy." I was in his embrace again. "Besides, I thought you said you were going to tell your friends."

"That was when we weren't fucking." I turned, meeting his gaze. It didn't matter. It wasn't like I _was_ going to tell the others—I just didn't want this to be a dirty secret. Now that it was, we were stuck. Literally and figuratively. It was only a matter of time until Blaze waltzed in here, after all.

"Then I guess there's no harm if I do this." His hands snuck under my shirt, my bra. He thumbed over my nipples, and I bit my lip when he cupped my breasts.

"What are you doing?" I said, arching my back into his chest. I closed my eyes and allowed the erotic sensation to wash over me.

"Doesn't matter." He bit my neck before kissing it slowly. I hissed. "Just tell me if you want me to stop."

"_Don't stop_," I sighed, turning toward him. We were lip locking again, until I was on my toes, biting his ear. "Which room do you want me?"

He smirked before picking me up in his arms, and throwing me down on my bed. Clothes were off in a flash, and I climbed on top of him, riding along his erect length.

"_Rosie." _He groaned as I rubbed his chest, stopping at his pelvis. He secured his hands on my hips, thrusting into them.

"_Mmmm…_" I said, pushing against him. The buildup was slow, but addictive. He kept hitting my button, the one that was only moments away from setting me off. My head fell back in euphoria.

"Your moaning's gonna make me loose it," Scourge said, moving up to kiss my neck.

"_Can't help it_," was my half-baked reply. A stray hand squeezed my breast again, and Scourge began to grind himself against me deeper. Harder. I choked on a moan. "_I'm close_."

"Ladies first." He rolled himself on top of me, seized my hands in his as his thrusts found a new, seductive rhythm. My ears were ringing when he suckled on my left breast.

"_Damn,_" he said with a nipple in his mouth.

"_Gentlemen first_," I said with a pant of a laugh.

"No, did you hear that?" he shifted from me. The thrusting stopped, and I sighed an exhausted sigh as I strained my ears to listen. Then I realized my ears weren't ringing; I was hearing _actual_ ringing.

"Amy?" I heard a subdued voice call. _Shit._

I was locked in Scourge's embrace. As my panicked eyes met his, he drew a finger to his smirking lips in a shushing gesture.

"I know you're here," the voice said again. Cream? "And I know where you keep your spare key…"

_Double shit. _

I scoffed until I heard the door unlock. The unwelcomed footsteps invaded my space. "What smells so good?"

"Hide_,_" I whispered, climbing out of him. I motioned dramatically to under bed, the closet, hell the ceiling. Scourge just rolled his eyes.

"You're lucky I put up with—"

"Shh!"

"Amy?"

I pulled on my silk robe. Until I realized it was Clarissa's. And that we were doing it in her room._ I officially have no more shits to give._

"Cream," I said, closing the door behind me. But despite her presence being unexpected, I was more surprised by the tears in her eyes. Oh no. Cream wouldn't cry unless—I gasped.

"What did you do to Tails?"

"Why are you assuming it's my fault?" She sniffled. "_He _broke up with _me_!"

I was hardly in the mood to be sympathetic, but I accepted her hug anyway. I was also surprised when she pulled away.

"Why are you so sweaty?" Her brown eyes were suddenly as curious as they were dismal. "And why do you look so flushed?" The same eyes widened. "Were you masturbating?"

I think I heard Scourge snicker.

I shook my head rapidly, trying to think of something. "No. I just finished…exercising."

I definitely heard Scourge this time.

Thankfully, Cream was too distressed to hear him. I sat her down in the living room. "Why don't you give me the details and I'll try not to strangled myself?" I said. She rolled her eyes, burying her head in one of the couch pillows.

"Tails proposed to me!"

I lifted a brow. "And you're upset because…"

"I told him I wasn't ready," she said with a sigh. "I wanted to be accomplished before I settled down. I mean, he revolutionized the world of technology at half my age. How can I be his wife when I can't even make a smoothie machine?"

"You're not a genius, you idiot," I responded. "And the only issue with his proposal would be if you didn't actually love him, you cheated on him, or if you didn't have the intent to eventually get married." I paused. "Do you?"

"_Yes_." She folded her arms with a huff. "It's just hard talking to the others about this. They're all married. And Clarissa's off with Parker."

"Good to know I'm your first choice."

"I'm serious," she pushed. "When I told him how I felt, he went off on me. Said he was tired of "fooling around". I mean, what the hell? I'm his _girlfriend_! I'm not his friend with benefits or something!" Her last comment hit home. I mean, what the hell was _I_ doing? I shook my head—I could only think about what mattered. And what mattered was getting her the hell out of here.

"That doesn't sound like him." I rose to my feet. "He was probably just stressed out about something and was looking for some good news when you rejected his proposal. So why don't you set aside your insecurities and try to make it up to him? You love each other." I guess love really was wasted on the young.

"You're right. I'm overreacting." She wiped her eyes. "We did have a pregnancy scare last month. He's been acting a little weird ever since then."

"I'm pretty sure that's it." I smiled, opening the front door. "Take him out for a surprise date or recreate the proposal or something."

"That's genius!" She clasped her hands. "Why is everyone so much smarter than me?"

"Said the PhD candidate." I rolled my eyes. "I have to meet Blaze for her appointment, so I'm sorry to cut you short."

"No, thanks for listening to me." She hugged me again. "I'm glad things are finally normal between us."

"Me too," I replied, breathing her in.

"You'll find who you're looking for," she then assured me. "He's probably right under your nose."

"I hope so."

"I _know_ so." With a wave she was off. And I would have liked to say that everything was back to normal, but duh.

With a sigh, I started for Clarissa's bedroom. I plopped down on her mattress. "She's gone." But I heard no reply. Instead a hand found my thigh; I laughed as I looked down.

He emerged from underneath the bed, and pushed me backward. He moved on top of me, but stopped at my lower region. His eyes hit mine as his mouth found my core.

"What—" his tongue flickered against my nub repeatedly, as he proceeded to eat me out. I bit my lip, as he licked my insides. I held his head closer to me as he snuck in a few fingers, and started stroking my walls. My mind shattered as I thrusted into him.

"_Ahhhh,_" I cooed. "_R-right there_." His attention to my clitoris increased, and my orgasm hit me hard and all at once. I came with a deep moan.

"_Scourge_," I heaved, my glazed eyes watching him as he rose to his feet. It didn't take a second for me to pull him down. "Stay with me."

"I have to go," he replied as I secured my hands over his shoulders. I kissed his chin before moving back to his lips. He smirked before peeling me off of him. "I promised Sage I'd take him to the park before heading to the museum." He sighed, zipping up his jeans. Because I was a needy whore, I thought of coming with him. Until I remembered my unofficial restraining order.

"I'd invite you," he went on, "but unfortunately life's a bitch. And I did myself no favors by having a kid with one."

"Hey, Sage is a good thing," I said. "And I know Fiona's difficult, but it takes two."

He inhaled, closed his eyes. "Yeah."

I took hold of his hands. "Look, I don't know what we're doing. But I want you to know that everything's fine right now. I just want what's best." He opened his eyes.

"But I've always been unfair to you." He squeezed my hands. "We shouldn't be doing this. Your friend was right—even if she has no clue."

I scoffed. "Her little stint with Tails had to be her worst relationship issue. She doesn't really know what it's like for things not to work out. To not be with the one you care about." I sighed. "To constantly feel powerless, and suppress your feelings for the love of your life _everyone_ says you'll find around the corner."

Scourge pressed his lips in a line. "You really aren't the girl I harassed at the bar four years ago."

"And you're not the guy I thought I hated four years ago."

He nodded, laughing. "I'll take what I can get." He rose to his feet. "But unfortunately, I really have to get going." But when he moved to my—Clarissa's—closet and threw a dress at me, I could only blink back in confusion.

"Why—" We were in a lip-lock again, but he parted almost as quickly as it started before stroking my cheek.

"We can discuss the case at our next meeting."

I nodded. "Are you sure you didn't want some food or something before you go?"

He wrinkled his nose. "Can't. Another one is here."

"What?"

Just then there was a knock. And my harlequin heartthrob was nowhere to be seen.

* * *

I was in the happy clinic again, feeling anything but. Blaze was tense the entire ride here, so I was glad she didn't prod me about my appearance or something. I mean I had showered—I was clean. But if anyone could sniff out a dirty secret, it was her.

"Dr. Merecat will see you now." One of the nurses guided us to a room. But Blaze was still high on anxiety.

"Will you calm down?" I said, patting her shoulder. "The doctor didn't say anything was wrong."

"It's not that," she replied, sighing. "We just never got this far. It's nerve wrecking."

It took a moment for her words to hit me. "Oh."

Before the air could grow anymore hostile or toxic, Dr. Merecat stepped into view.

"Hello, ladies." She stopped at Blaze. "Why the glum look?"

"Could you please just get on with the examination?" Blaze snapped. "Sorry, I'm just anxious."

"Perfectly understandable." For once Dr. Merecat's smile looked natural. She turned to me. "Shall we?"

She poured some cold gel on my stomach and slid the transducer. I saw a blobby blob.

"Everything looks normal," the woman said, pointing at the image. "In a month we'll be able to determine the gender."

"Wait, I thought we'd be able to do that now?" I turned to Blaze. "Didn't you want to know?"

"It's still too early." the doctor responded on Blaze's behalf. Her eyes then widened. "Shoot, I think one of the nurses accidently used Blaze's chart. She'd be a little more than five months now."

I was surprised when Blaze scoffed. "Well thanks for wasting our time."

"It's fine, Blaze," I assured her. "At least we know the baby's still okay."

The fire in her eyes died down, but she still looked pissed as hell. It didn't help that Dr. Merecat was now smiling like she was the Goddess of Everlasting Sunshine and Sparkles.

"You're right—" Just then a phone seized the air. Blaze sighed, stepping out of the room. "Sorry, I have to take this."

Then I was stuck with what's-her-smiling-face.

"You look _too_ happy." I narrowed my eyes. "Something's wrong. Spill. I'm an attorney."

Dr. Merecat wrinkled her nose. "So? Dr. Hedgehog has a PhD in neuroscience and she's not prying my brain."

"So you admit there's something wrong?"

The woman sighed, clearing off the gel. "Look, she's been through a lot. I can't tell her any of my hunches until I know for sure." Her eyes hit mine. "Besides, you don't look like you're very good at keeping secrets."

I shook my head. "I wouldn't play with something like this."

A staring battle started, and it ended with her rolling her eyes. "Fine. I believe I see an abnormality."

My body froze. _Abnormality?_

"If it's what I think it is, then it's completely harmless. I'm just wondering why I didn't notice it earlier…"

"What do you think it is then?" I had to stop myself from yelling.

"Unfortunately, I can't disclose that with you just yet." She picked up a file. "But it's nothing to worry about for now."

"Was it something that I did?" She shook her head.

"Not unless you went skydiving." She almost laughed. "But nothing's really off the table for pregnant women except overexerting themselves and drinking. Sex and other social activities are more than acceptable for low-risk pregnancies such as your own."

"But what if it's bad?" I placed my hand on my stomach before deciding against it. _No._ Nothing was wrong—For once, everything seemed all right. The universe couldn't be that cruel.

"It probably isn't," She decided. Just then, the door opened and Blaze stepped in. She blinked at us.

"Is everything alright?"

"Perfect," I said perhaps too quickly. "Dr. Merecat was just telling me how low-risk this pregnancy is."

There was a bit of relief in her eyes. "That's good to hear."

And truthfully, everything _could_ be good. Dr. Merecat's hunch could be correct, and then nothing would be wrong. But I couldn't shake off the sensation that this was just the beginning of something beyond horrible happening.

~KB


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

Going to work was pointless, because I wasn't working. Instead, my mind was surging a million miles per hour. And I knew stress wasn't good for the baby. But working was still stress, so I guess I couldn't win. Ever.

I pressed my head against my desk, accidentally sliding some files to the floor in the process.

"Damn it." But the urge to pick them up didn't come. I just felt numb. And dumb.

I wanted to blame myself, but could I? The doctor said it wasn't my fault—for once, something wasn't my fault. I was supposed to feel better. But feeling better wouldn't fix anything.

"You've been looking suicidal all day." Ms. Ferret picked up my files for me. I thanked her. "Tell me what's wrong or I'll drop you from your case."

"Go ahead." I should have stopped myself, but it was hard to care. Ms. Ferret only grinned.

"When did this kitty get claws?" She sat down, and the grin faded almost as fast. "Is everything alright?"

I sighed; I had no reason to be dishonest with her. "The doctor said there might be an abnormality with my pregnancy."

To my surprise, her eyes didn't widen in surprise. She hissed through her teeth. "Honestly, if things really _were_ bad, they wouldn't have told you."

I moved my head slightly from the desk. "Then why put a pregnant woman under unnecessary stress?"

The woman shrugged. "Maybe she has a hunch on something else. Maybe she wants to scare you into reevaluating your current decisions."

I bit my lip. "Like what?"

"I've seen the way Mr. Hedgehog looks at you," she said casually, straightening the hem of her skirt. Her orange eyes lit up when they hit mine. "And I've seen the way you look at him."

I held my breath.

This was it. This was the conversation that was going to end with me being fired.

When she shrugged, I tried to feel some relief. "Personally, I'd say tap that _after_ you win your case. But I can't tell you what to do. Just make sure you accomplish what you need. Then you can do whatever you want."

"What if I don't know what I want?" I said. Her notion of working hard and playing harder only seemed appropriate if you knew what you were doing. And I had abandoned control long before I could remember.

"Of course you do." She was already on her feet. A step away from the door and my enlightenment. "Otherwise you wouldn't be here."

As she left, it was difficult to determine whether to take her words literally or figuratively. But the mental battle was cut short when Scourge walked in.

"Are you okay, Rosie?"

"Hopefully," I thought to reply. Instead, I just nodded. "Better now that you're here."

It wasn't right to be getting chummy at work, especially with the unwavering eyes of my co-workers probably watching me. I turned to his file, and began explaining what would happen in six weeks at the hearing. I even told him about what Mrs. Rabbit said about Fiona.

"Well, that would explain it." He sighed, rubbing his temple. "I'd complain about her making my life more difficult, but her behavior seems to be making the case easier for you."

I pursed my lips. "We have a good case, but I need to know more." I thought about what Erickson Fox said. How Fiona was willing to compromise despite the fact that she started the battle. Or did she?

I turned to Scourge's online file; saw that he was the one who filed for primary custody three months ago. But had she threatened to do this before? Why was Fiona willing to compromise?

Was Scourge really keeping any secrets from me? Or was it wrong for me to expect him to play a little dirtier?

He didn't hate her, and even though most child custody cases I observed dealt with ex-spouses and ex-couples that had severe animosity toward each other, that didn't mean that he didn't have a case. But why did it feel like something was missing?

A tap on my desk interrupted me from my mental battles. I looked up at Scourge.

"Why did you file for primary custody for Sage?" I asked. But he didn't look taken back by my sudden question. It was as if he didn't know where to start.

"We've been having real issues for about a year now," he replied, scratching his quills. "Right after she gave birth, and even leading up to it, we tried to play nice. Things _were _nice, and we were actually living together." He sighed. "We were almost like a real family.

"But then I got my art gig about two years ago, and had to move out of town to Barnes, about forty minutes away from Maim. She begged—fought me about taking the job—and I was mad. I know we had a kid, but Sage was growing, and I didn't want the rest of my life to be defined by one poor decision. So I took it, and I made an even greater effort to be there for my son.

"Fiona moved in with one of her friends, Portia. She's a bar/restaurant owner, I think. Fiona has a small fortune, so I think she just helps to manage the business.

Scourge sighed again. "So long story short, Fiona's become incredibly hostile. I've tried talking to her about it, but she just shuts me off. And I know that Sage feels it too—he doesn't seem very excited to stay with her. I know none of this was easy on her, but I can't accept the way things have been going. I want to move on."

"We can probably play the angle of her not being invested enough to be a primary care taker," I offered. "How far are you willing to compromise?"

"I'm not against Fiona seeing him. I just want him to live with me."

"That should be possible," I said. But I still had one more question. As much as it killed me to ask it.

"And for the record, how do you honestly feel about Fiona?"

He inhaled. Exhaled before looking at me. "I'm thankful for Sage. I really am, and I know I'm a better person because of him. But I feel like she hasn't been direct with me, and I fear for Sage's well being."

"Why do you fear for Sage's wellbeing?"

He looked down. There was a level of distress on his face that almost broke me. It reminded me of Blaze. I shook my head and the thought away. "Because she didn't want him. She wanted me."

"Are you sure—"

"As far as I'm concerned, I'm his only parent." He clenched his hands. "Like I said, I want to move forward. And this arrangement isn't helping anyone."

I nodded. "And you're sure there's nothing else you want to tell me?"

"Nothing else that I can think of."

I smiled slightly, closing my file. However, I could still sense that restraint from earlier on him. And as much as I wanted to blame my hormones, I knew he was withholding information. _Something._

"It's about that time again," Scourge said moving to the door. "Have to pick up the little guy."

"Ok," I replied, closing my booklet. He was close enough to kiss, and I almost did when his hand caught mine.

"I'll see you soon, Miss Rose." But his expression wasn't complete without his seductive smirk.

"Of course."

Then he was gone. And I was left with my self-destructive thoughts.

* * *

Home was as empty as my heart.

Dr. Merecat said she'd get back to me. But like everything, it didn't seem good enough. It was a false promise, and even if it were fulfilled, what could she really say to reassure me?

Good news, your child _does _in fact have an abnormality?

But maybe that's what made it so unbearable—this wasn't my child. Blaze needed one thing from me, for me to deliver a healthy baby. And now such a simple objective was compromised.

Everyone else had healthy babies.

Hell, even Fiona had a healthy baby.

So why couldn't I have that? Why couldn't I have been useful, just this once? I wiped my eyes as I paced the living room, before turning on the TV. A diaper commercial appeared on the screen. Then the local news. A list of obituaries. I shut it off.

I needed to shut everything off.

* * *

I couldn't feel feelings by the time I approached Scourge's door. A few weak knocks produced no answers, so I fished for a spare key behind a potted plant. Silence overwhelmed me, and then I heard a rush of water. I followed it.

I widened the door with a push, and saw the light of the bathroom cut through. I followed it.

The sight of me watching him shower had to make me look like a psychopath. But the image of him resembled something of peace—closed eyes, relaxed body—and I desperately needed that. He was whistling to the hypnotic rhythm of the water as I stripped down. I stepped in, hugging him from behind. He jumped slightly, but relaxed in my touch.

"What are you—" My lips dabbed along his wet, hot body, focused on the back of his neck. When my breasts pressed against his soapy back, he hissed.

He turned over his shoulder, and I tilted my head, meeting him in a kiss. Our tongues swirled with each other in a hungry passion. Then I stopped it, and my hands found his excited member.

"I want you to feel good," I replied, biting his shoulder. My hands moved up and down his length, my fingertips circled around the head. He twitched, groaned before capping his mouth.

"_Rosie_." He choked on a groan. "_S-Sage is sleeping_."

His words didn't faze me. I merely moved in front of him for better leverage. I dropped down to my knees and took him in my mouth. My mind was surging probably about as much as his, but I ignored it. I licked the underside of his penis in one dramatic slide, before sucking the head. He bit his lip.

"_Suck me dry_." He thrusted slowly in and out of my mouth, pulling my head along in the motion. I played with his balls, and a grunt escaped him. His rhythm increased.

"_Fuck,_" he then said, popping out of my mouth. My hands ran along his length a final time when he threw his head back, his mouth shaped in an O. "_I'm_—"

The load spurted a few times on my chest, and washed away with the water. Scourge was huffing when he looked down at me with glazed, lust filled eyes.

He led me out of the shower, and we're in his room again. At it like we had never been at it before. At it like we only had tonight.

His eyes are icy, but beautiful. They enchanted me as much as his motions, as his caresses and thrusts. Yet it was hard to feel anything, even when he soothed me with kisses. The numbness finally broke over when my loins started to spasm. My orgasm hit me, and I threw my head back, clinging onto him. His lips sealed over mine, silencing our moans.

We remained like that for a while—sweaty and panting. Staring in each other's eyes like they were gems. The satisfied smirk on his face faded as he laced his hand between mine. "We probably shouldn't keep doing this."

I nestled my head in his chest. "Just probably." But my mind was finally clear. I was too tired to make sense of anything. Or feel any guiltier than I already was.

His free hand played with my quills as he met my gaze again. "Just know that whatever the outcome of this case is, I love you." He pressed his lips on my temple. "I've always loved you."

Tears threatened to spill from my eyes, but I was drained in everyway imaginable. I held onto him harder.

"I love you too."

I wasn't lying. But I was still figuring out whether or not I was telling the truth.

* * *

Sorry for the shortness of the chap. And the sexiness. I'll probably have another chapter up by tomorrow or Monday. Let me know your thoughts.

~KB


	29. Chapter 29

Hey, friends!

I hope you all had a happy Halloween. As promised, I'm here with another chap. It's only one chapter, but I'll probably have another set up by Tuesday evening. I know I've been making everything horrible for Amy, but hopefully you'll get some much needed insight in this chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 29**

I approached the Mobius Metropolitan Museum (M3) eager for answers. Answers meant having control. And I couldn't let Scourge's hidden reservations take that away from me.

He informed me that he was working off site today; he was meeting with some artists at some conference downtown. So I told Ms. Ferret I wasn't feeling well (though she probably didn't buy it) and made my way over.

It was now or never. Even if I didn't know what I was looking for.

The early morning sun was somber, if not non-existent, matching my mood. I made my way to the back of the main building; toward some construction and the new nature exhibit it looked like they were working on.

I stopped at an inventory-like area where a few dozen packed paintings lined the walls. Bigger boxes stood in the middle of the warehouse. I walked through the space before stumbling upon an office area.

"Can I help you?" I spun over my shoulder, saw a woman at a desk. Probably a receptionist.

"Yes," I began, sensing my half-baked operation begin to crumble. I forced a smile. "Do you know if I could speak to one of Scourge the Hedgehog's associates? He mentioned he'd be out today, but said I should stop by to ask about commissioning a piece."

"One moment." The woman clicked something on her computer. "Okay. If you take a left at this hall you should find the offices of Mr. Bear and Mrs. Raccoon. They both seem to have a strong personal relationship with Mr. Hedgehog."

"Perfect."

"What is your name?" The squirrel then said, looking up at me. My mouth jerked in something of a smile.

"Fiona Fox."

I fixed my cap on my head, and re-secured my quills in a ponytail. I could only hope that Scourge hadn't told them how Fiona looked like. But I was mostly hoping that they would actually be useful—this was the only idea I had.

The offices were new, you could tell by the construction-like smell and modern fixtures. About eight separate offices with glass walls and doors lined the space, and the contemporary art pieces on those walls gave them character. I spotted Scourge's office—empty—with a drawing Sage made hanging off his desk. I smiled before stopping at Mr. Bear's space. I clicked on my recorder before knocking on the transparent door. A brown bear that couldn't have been much older than me looked up.

"Hello," he said, turning from his desk. "Can I help you?"

I took a breath. "Yes. I'm Fiona Fox. I wanted to know if you had any reservations about my custody battle with Scourge," I began, folding my arms. "My lawyer said I should appeal to people my ex would consider getting statements from." I stared him down like the bitch I was pretending to be. "You know, so they don't say something they'll regret."

"If you're trying to threaten me, you'll have to try a little harder." The man was smiling boyishly, like I just told him he looked taller. So he could roll off a threat with a laugh? I could see how he and Scourge could be chums.

"I'm not threatening anyone." I put my hands on my hips. Bitch move #2. "This is a serious case. I don't expect you tell me all the things you gossip about me while drinking beers. I just want to know if what Scourge says makes you feel tempted to speak against me."

He shrugged his shoulders. "I know that Scourge is a great dad. And I would assume that you couldn't be _that_ awful since the boy seems happy and bright." His eyes hit mine. "I'm a father too. So I wouldn't say anything that wouldn't benefit Sage."

"Then what _would_ you say in a statement?" I prodded. The man sighed.

"Honestly, all he tells me is that you don't seem very interested in your son," he said, glancing briefly at an art magazine on his desk. "Which would probably explain why you…"

My eyes widened. _Get on with it! _"Why Fio—Why _I_—did what?"

He sighed again. "…gave Scourge such a hard time about working here. We make really good money, and the job itself is not easy to come by." He looked irritated now. "And second to Sage, it makes him really happy. Did you ever think about that? _Do_ you ever think about that?"

I had to remember that he wasn't talking about me, otherwise I would have bitched at him for real. "Whatever," I snapped. "That doesn't make me a bad mother."

But I was starting to wonder if I was a bad lawyer. I had as much of a case as I didn't—and I also didn't know what dirt Fiona was going to pull in the courtroom. So far the biggest thing I had against her was that she got a little aggressive with another mom. But with what I had, could I really prove that she's unfit to hold custody of her child?

Probably not.

Which meant I was wasting my time.

Mr. Bear opened his mouth to say something, but I heard a female voice instead. I spun over my shoulder. Saw a shorter, older raccoon-woman.

"You're Fiona?" She glared at me through pursed lips. "I have to admit, you don't look as mean or ugly as Scourge makes you out."

"Gee, thanks?"

"But you have some nerve barging in here like you own the place," she then said, folding her arms. "I guess that's to be expected."

"You're acting like I stole your youth or something," I replied, rolling my eyes. Okay, I was probably having _a little_ too much fun with this. But riling people up was the recipe for a verbal downpour. And I was ready to drown in answers.

She raised a brow, practically another insult away from torching me with her glare. "I can't believe you're still fighting Scourge for Sage after what you did. Don't you have any shame?"

I had to stop myself from looking too eager. We were finally getting somewhere! I turned to the bear. "Do you have any idea what this dumb bitch is talking about?"

"Did you just call me a _dumb bitch_?!" I smirked as she fumed.

"I don't remember stuttering."

"Ladies, let's just settle down," Mr. Bear said, rising to his feet. He turned to me, glaring. "I think it would be best if you leave. I'm sorry about what you're going through, but if you continue to create a hostile work environment, I'll have to call security."

"It probably wouldn't be the first time," the woman mumbled.

I shot her a dirty glare. But part of me was wondering if I actually should have been annoyed. Scourge didn't tell me any of this. And I was his fucking lawyer. That he was fucking. I clenched my fists. "Why don't you grow a pair and come out with it?"

She shook her head slowly. "No good mother would abandon her child."

"When did I abandon Sage?" It took everything not to grin at this progress.

She looked at me like I was sick. "That's it. I'm done humoring you." She started for her office, which was conveniently on the other side of the hall. "Why don't you lock yourself in a hot car and see how it feels?"

Just then, the sun broke through.

I had found the missing piece of the puzzle; now I just had to put it together. My response was in the form of a gesture. I removed my hat, shook my quills loose from my ponytail. Their eyes widened.

Mrs. Raccoon slapped her forehead. "Let me guess? You're actually Scourge's legal counsel?"

I nodded, offering an apologetic look.

"And now that I have your attention, I have some real questions."

* * *

My next stop was the Whole Goods grocery store. It was fifty minutes away, toward the town Scourge said Fiona lived. I wanted to say that I was happy with my breakthrough, but I mostly felt annoyed.

I mean, how could Scourge have kept that a secret from me?!

Mrs. Raccoon would have gladly fought against Fiona—helped me too—but Scourge specifically told her to keep it a secret. And although my encounter with his associates was now also a secret, I was making an effort to _help_ him. So why was he making my life harder?

Especially after everything?

I clenched my fists before pushing the door open. A rush of refreshing, cool air hit me, but I felt no ease. The store was definitely upscale; I caught a glance at apples for $5 a pound. For sale. I shuddered. I moved to the back, where I saw a door propped open slightly. Written in black bold letters was SECURITY. I knocked on it. Detective Rose was at it again.

A bulky tiger walked out of the room. "Yes?"

I brought out my identification. "Hello, I'm Amy Rose. I'm an attorney on a child custody case and need to obtain footage of the parking lot. It should date back four months ago—The week of February 8th, late afternoon."

He nodded, motioning for me to step in. "What were you looking for in particular?"

"A young fox woman in a green SUV." I said, sitting down at a set of monitors. "You'll see it when I see it."

"Let me just call one of the other security officers to watch my post." He started speaking into a walky-talky. "You're lucky. We're replacing our computers next week. You would have had to go to the database a few towns over."

"Lucky me." I didn't feel lucky, but I was making progress. It took a while, watching through the videos, the four monitors covering each corner of the parking lot. When we made it to Thursday, I was afraid we'd have to start over, or include the entire month. Then Friday came. And I saw it.

It was worse than I could have imagined.

* * *

With the joint pull of Ms. Ferret and Parker, I was able to pull out Sage's restricted medical records. It was funny, how this whole experience was almost a tragedy, yet I had literally found a treasure trove of evidence.

I had just what I needed—I had won. But by the time I reached home, I was hardly feeling victorious. It would be a waste of time to say how I was feeling—because I was feeling everything. The good. The bad. Mostly the bad.

Blaze hadn't spoken to me in two days—which only added to the unpleasant sensation overwhelming me. Then I remembered I was still pregnant. And potentially abnormal.

Happy fucking joy.

Scott the Hippo offered me a harmless text about our meeting next week, and Clarissa posted a picture of her and Parker at dinner. I sighed, taking my files to the kitchen-office space. Now that I had all the pieces, it was time to put the puzzle together. I only wished my life worked the same way.

Today was a day of answers, so I used that as my justification for ruining Blaze's ignorance. Okay, so I wasn't going to tell her shit, but I had to make sure she wasn't withholding anything either.

I knocked on Blaze's door, beyond tired of knocking on doors. It was late, so I wasn't surprised when Silver opened it.

"Amy?" He opened the door further, but I sensed the restraint radiating off him. I forgot that we were trying not to hate each other. "Come in."

I forced a smile, following in his lead. "How are you doing?"

"Honestly? Really good." He was smiling genuinely now, even if it was only a small one. He actually looked attractive. I narrowed my eyes.

"What are you so happy about?"

"Amy!" I spotted Blaze sitting in the living room. She was glowing, fake-belly intact, which almost made me reconsider who was actually pregnant here. Silver helped her to her feet. When I looked closely at her, I noticed her eyes were lined with tears. She handed me the sonogram picture from last week.

"Is everything okay?" It was sad, asking her a question that couldn't possibly have a positive answer. But when she nodded, pinching my hand, I couldn't breathe.

"We're having twins."

* * *

Yay or nay? Please share your thoughts.

KB


	30. Chapter 30

Howdy!

First of all, I just wanted to thank all of you again for your thoughts and reviews. The story is getting pretty close to it's conclusion, as there are two more chapters left after this set. This doesn't mean that the story ends after the next update, just that the format will change slightly - you'll get it in the next set. Anyway, I thought this would be a nice time to offer sort of a Q&amp;A. If you have any burning/general questions you'd like me to address (i.e. why I wrote the story, my favorite part(s), why did so and so do this or that) feel free to PM or put them in your review. It can be anything honestly, but keep in mind that some of them might be answered by the rest of the story. Like if you ask, "Will Shadow and Amy get together?" or "Does Silver find out?" you're going to know when the story ends, so I'll just revise them. Once I get a decent number of responses, I can upload the questions with the epilogue. Sound cool?

Anyway, here's the next update. This set is a personal favorite of mine, so I hope you all enjoy. :)

* * *

**Chapter 30**

It wasn't fair to be avoiding him—Scourge I mean. But with great relief came great responsibility. And I knew we couldn't continue on as we were for the following three reasons:

1\. I was having twins. TWINS.

2\. I was beginning to show. Even if it mostly looked like I overate.

3\. He lied to me. Or rather, kept the truth from me. _Again._

I probably did no favors by also canceling our meeting this week, since the hearing was quickly approaching. But if we were together, we'd probably just do it. Which would still accomplish nothing.

"Was there a reason you canceled our meeting?" I shouldn't have been surprised that Scourge showed up anyway. He sat down in front of my desk. "Sorry for imposing. I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

The look in his eyes was concerned. _Sexy_. I shook my head.

"Nope," I replied. "We just made a lot of progress really quickly, and I have what I need. It's pretty much like you have two weeks off until the hearing. We'll meet a few days before then to go over procedure." I turned to a stack of pre-nup contracts I had to review for Phoebe. "But we should be done for now."

He pursed his lips. "What if I want to see you before then, Miss Rose?" There was a seductive smirk in his eyes. "I'd like to _discuss_ some more things with you."

"I'm sorry, but it's important to maintain an air of professionalism," I replied. But my foot was in between is legs, massaging his groin underneath the table. His smirk widened. "If we _discuss_ too much leading up to the hearing, the judge might be suspicious. Lawyers are pretty much just nosy lie-detectors, remember?"

"But it's been almost three weeks." He leaned back, closed his eyes as I continued my sweet torture. He hissed. "If you don't stop, I'm going to—"

"Keep thinking hard about the case, Mr. Hedgehog," I said almost too loudly, watching Tabitha cross the hall.

"Fine. You're right," he sighed, opening his eyes.

"I'm always right," I replied, writing down a note. I handed it to Scourge. His smirk only intensified.

"Glad we're finally seeing eye to eye."

* * *

**Just****_ one_**** more night.**

** XOXO Rosie**

I know.

I should have confronted Scourge with my evidence. Instead, I was at his door, ready to _discuss _with him. I know, I know, _I know_—it was wrong. I know that I should have taken Ms. Ferret's advice. I know that we were only granted a handful of miracles and I was pushing my luck— my relationship with Blaze and the others—by continuing to do this. But the part of my brain that justified poor decisions kept assuring me that something that felt so good couldn't be that bad. When Scourge kissed me lovingly in the doorway, all of my prior reservations evaporated.

"How is it possible to get more gorgeous every time I see you?" he said between kisses. I laughed.

"Are we going to talk?" I then replied, suckling on his lip. "Or are you going to drop your pants?"

He snickered a few bars before pulling me into the dining room. "Not yet."

I rolled my eyes, but in doing so, I caught a glimpse of the place. Candles lit up the dim space, illuminating the silver dishes and tableware, and dressing up the dinner.

I turned to him. "You did all of this?" He nodded.

"You're vegan now, right?" he opened a pot of stew. "One my associates let me borrow this great recipe book." He pulled out a seat for me. "You can see it if you want."

But all I wanted to do was cry. Well, and eat. "I can't believe you would go through all of this trouble." I smiled at him, kissing him again. "Thank you."

"I should be saying the same thing to you." He sat down. "I know this might be premature, but I'm really thankful for what you've done for me. You didn't have to do it—especially with how I treated you."

"You are being premature," I said, taking a bite of the stew. My taste buds sang. "But I'm glad you took a chance with me too. As hard as it was to wonder what happened between us, it must have been harder taking care of Sage."

He shrugged. "I didn't make it easier on anyone by shutting you out." He took my hand. "I wouldn't forgive me."

"Good thing I'm not you."

We sat there like old friends. Actually discussed our hopes, our undiscovered dreams. It was weird; I couldn't even remember our last date, if you could even call this that. All I knew was that this was nice. And I would give almost everything to stay in this forever.

"I just want Sage to be happy," Scourge said, rubbing my shoulder. We were in the living room now, sitting like a normal couple—my legs over his lap, my head leaning into the crook of his neck. I breathed in the moment as he took a sip directly from one of the wine bottles. He offered me some. I wrinkled my nose.

"I actually stopped drinking two years ago." If I wasn't so infatuated by him, my eyes would be on the bottle. I didn't like alcohol _that_ much, but it was something that you missed when it was gone. Like security. Like being in the arms of someone who loved you. I kissed his cheek. "And Sage _is _happy. You mean the world to him."

"And he means the world to me." He kissed my lips. "You mean the world to me too."

These were gateway words, and I accepted them. He was on top of me, kissing me hungrily. I whimpered beneath him, clutching on his back for support. I moaned when his hot lips made contact with my neck. My back arched as his kisses trail downward, past my collarbone and stopping at my cleavage. He unbuttoned my blouse before ceasing me in another lip-lock, grinding his tongue against mine. He followed the same example with his body, secured his hands on my hips as he grinded into me. I gasped.

His teeth unhooked the front of my bra, and he groaned as he took a breast to his mouth. The vibration of his lips aroused me further, and I rubbed myself up and down his clothed length, almost getting off from the friction. His fingers teased my core and I threw my head back with a moan.

Scourge was chuckling when he took his hands in mine, extending them over my head as he moved onto my left teat, sucking harder. My mind scattered.

"_Mmmm…_" I bit my lip as I looked at him through lidded eyes. In a moment he extended himself upward. He licked his lips, but his eyes were filled with confusion, not lust. The pleasurable sensations stopped and I looked into his eyes. Which were staring at my chest. I looked down. Was I…_lactating_?

I rose up almost as quickly as he did. He stared at me like he didn't know me. Before I could open my mouth to respond, his hand pressed against my stomach. I shook from his grip.

"I just ate," I pushed. But there was little conviction in my voice, little reconsideration in his eyes. "I-I'm on weird medication." The intensity of his expression increased.

"_Rosie_," his voice was in a hush. I shook my head, rising to my feet. I had to go—I had no business here in the first place. But strong arms hugged me from behind. I tried to wrestle free. He couldn't know. I had one job—and he couldn't know.

"Let _go_ of me!" But his grip held strong. I remember losing the battle when I blacked out.

* * *

"_Is she going to be alright_?" A male voice said.

_"That depends on your definition of alright," _another replied. "_The blood test indicates that she's—"_

I hissed as my unconsciousness slipped away from me. I didn't know how it was possible to wake up exhausted, but when I realized I was in a bed that wasn't mine, panic rushed through me like the bright lights of the room. I closed my eyes in a hard squint.

"_Where…am I_?" I began. My throat was scratchy and my body felt like a rock.

A door shot opened before I could get any answers. If the environment wasn't toxic before, it sure was now.

"YOU!" My eyes snapped open. Blaze. Only she wasn't threatening to kill me. In a second she dashed to the frame of my bed, where Scourge and Parker were standing. In the hospital.

_Shit._

Her fist collided with Scourge's skull, and he was thrown against the wall. In a flash, her fists were on fire. She walked up to him slowly, her intent most likely murder.

"Stop it!" I rose from my bed, but instantly regretted the sudden motion. I fell back down, feeling vomit rise to my lips.

"What did you _do_ to her?!" Blaze said, throwing a fireball at him. It became a game of dodge ball. It looked fun, until I remembered they were playing with fire.

"ENOUGH," Parker said, ducking under one of the flames. "If you don't stop this madness, I'll be forced to call security on both of you." However, his eyes only narrowed at Scourge.

"I'm not the one THROWING FIRE," he replied, glaring at Blaze. "I just want answers."

"I want him OUT," she said. "Haven't you done enough to her?"

"I'm sorry, but Dr. Hedgehog is Amy's primary emergency contact, and visiting hours are technically over." Parker said, opening a window. "Thank you for bringing her here. She and the baby should be fine. But you'll have to leave now."

Scourge's mouth parted and his gaze fell on me. The look in his eyes couldn't be described, just that it killed my soul. They were asking me how I could keep this a secret from him, how could I not love him enough to tell him? And I did love him. But it was hard to love someone when you hated yourself.

With a breath, he stepped outside of the room. The door slammed. _Scourge._

Blaze was the first to jump at me. "What the hell were you doing with him anyway?" It was scary how fast Blaze transitioned from a fire-beast to a damsel in distress. Tears lined her eyes as she shook her head. "I thought you were smarter than this." The tears were streaming down her face now. "…I thought you cared about me…the babies..."

"_I do_." I closed my eyes, and I could feel my head throb even more. I should have been crying, but I had too much shame and self-loathing to feel anything else. "I'm on Scourge's child custody case with Fiona. When he left me, it was because he had a son with her. But I never meant for it to go this far." I exhaled, but all of my inner tension remained. Scourge had to be thinking that he made the same mistake. Fuck.

I really fucked up.

Blaze shook her head. "…You knew how important this is to me, yet you put yourself at risk. All because you wanted to recreate some foolish fling you had four years ago?" She clenched her fists. "What the _hell_ is wrong with you?"

"I didn't have to do this for you." I was surprised how calm I was being. "Parker said the twins are fine. The only mistakes I made was not being professional on my case and lying to Scourge." My eyes bored against hers. "Remember, you're a liar too."

"_Don't_ turn this on me," she spat. "But you're right. People are supposed to learn from their mistakes." She moved to the door. "I'm sorry I ever trusted you."

"_Blaze_."

The door slammed. And I was left with another person who would probably slam one on me.

"The reason you passed out was because of an iron deficiency," Parker then said, like I was at a check-up, not a double confrontation. Probably soon to turn triple. "I'll be sure to have your doctor prescribe iron supplements with your pre-natal vitamins."

My eyes found the floor. "Is that really all you wanted to talk about?"

"I think you have enough to think about without me offering my input." He checked my IV before heading to the door. Then he stopped. I waited for the explosion.

"That's the guy you were with before me, right?" I hated the look on his face. He was annoyed. Hurt, but trying not to show it. Trying to figure out how I could pick the scum that was Scourge over him.

"Scourge was my first everything," I replied, feeling as uncomfortable as I didn't. "Still is. So when he came back, it was hard to ignore my bottled up feelings."

He nodded, pressing his lips together. "…And now you're with his children?"

My eyes narrowed. "What if I am?"

"My dad would probably be a little disappointed in you." He smiled, and the gesture broke me.

"Why are you smiling?" I hated that I was crying now, that everything was hitting me.

"Because children are a good thing." He squeezed my hand. "Even if they're produced in less than ideal circumstances."

"Thanks for not judging me," I said, rising to my feet. It was like the weight of the world was pushing down on my shoulders. "But the babies aren't mine."

Parker raised a brow before I briefed him on the "less than ideal circumstances".

"Oh." He folded his arms. "That would explain why your friend was so pissed."

"Yeah," I said, rubbing my stomach. "Do you think what we're doing is stupid?"

He gave me a contemplative look. "What Blaze went through can be quite traumatic. She might want a reason to maintain the illusion of being pregnant since it's highly likely she never will be."

My heart fell. She said she was doing this to preserve her pristine image. That she merely didn't have the guts to come clean. I thought she was only lying to the others—not herself. "I didn't think about it like that."

"Although I can't tell you how to live your life, you should be careful," Parker said, checking his phone. "This is incredibly important to Blaze, and you're in your second trimester. Don't put yourself under any more stress than you need to."

"Believe me, I'm not trying to," I sighed. But he was right—I did myself no favors sneaking around with Scourge. I had to come clean and end it.

"Where are you going?" Parker said as my hand found the doorknob. I turned to him, offering him a hopeful smile.

"I have no idea."

* * *

~KB


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

I was breaking my unofficial restraining order by being here. But he wasn't taking my calls. And I was trying not to blame him.

I stood against his SUV, waiting for him to emerge from after school daycare with Sage. My feet were killing me by the time they finally did. But my heart killed me when I saw the look on Scourge's face, which was still an unfathomable mixture of hurt, betrayal, and confusion.

"You didn't think you could forget me, did you?" I said, folding my arms. It was actually getting a little harder to do, what with my stomach starting to protrude. But it was still nothing that my blazer couldn't hide. Scourge sighed.

"I was actually going to try meet you later this evening." He put Sage in his seat; the boy waved a goodbye to me. "Our case is in two days."

"It is." I nodded, trying to ignore the tension in the air. "I guess we'll talk when you drop off Sage."

"I guess we will."' Then he was gone like I never had him in the first place.

* * *

Things were even more awkward when Scourge dropped by my apartment.

We sat in the dining room with Clarissa. Who was chaperoning us like we were a pair of dumb teenagers on a first date.

"Believe me, I don't like this anymore than you two," she said, putting her feet up on the table. Mature. "I really thought I raised you better."

"And I really thought Blaze could keep a fucking secret," I mumbled, rolling my eyes. She had conveniently _not_ told Clarissa that I was pregnant, which was why I was also sweltering in my jacket. Winter couldn't come sooner.

Clarissa's eyes narrowed at Scourge. He looked tired. But if he were the type of person who got uncomfortable easily, he probably would have flinched from the intensity.

"I didn't come here to get attacked by one of your friends again," he said instead.

Clarissa sighed. "The only reason I'm here is because Blaze threatened me with fireballs." She shuddered. "They're fucking scary."

"_She's_ fucking scary." Scourge was smirking a little now. Clarissa laughed before stopping herself.

"Don't try to be charming!" She shook her head before turning to me. "I can see how you fell for him—handsome and charismatic." A devilish grin spread on her face. "How many times did you do it anyway?"

"I lost count," I answered, before the air could grow anymore awkward. Clarissa started asking for more dirty details when Scourge hit his fist on the table.

"This is fucking ridiculous," he said, rising to his feet. "I wouldn't have come here if I knew this was going to be a gossip session."

"That's the spirit!" Clarissa clasped her hands. "So why don't you two start talking? I'm the only one initiating conversation here."

"I don't want to talk," I sighed.

"You know you can't go to court all hot and bothered and unresolved." She rose to her feet before reaching for her purse on the kitchen table. "It's not Blaze's business what the two of you do or did. I mean, Scourge seems like a really nice guy. Well, despite the shitty thing he did to you."

"Uh, thanks?" he replied.

"And Amy's not some fragile flower that isn't capable of handling conflict." She moved to the front door. "Good luck."

The door slammed, and I was left with Scourge.

"She doesn't know, does she?"

"I'm assuming not."

"Well, good to know one of your friends is sane." There was a level of lightness in his eyes that I hadn't seen in a long time. "She's also right."

"Yeah," I said, trying not to get lost in his eyes. "Look, Scourge—"

"I'm sorry I haven't been returning your calls. I've been so unfair to you," he started, "and I never want to hurt you again."

What he did next caught me off guard. He went down on one knee, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a golden band. My eyes widened.

"I wanted to propose to you after the case, but I don't know where we stand now. I want to be with you. But I want to know how you feel," he took my hand before sighing. "I also don't want it to seem like I'm pressuring you because you're pregnant, but I love you. And you love me. And that's all that matters."

"Scourge.._._" I moved to my knees, squeezing his hand. "..I don't know what to say."

And I really didn't. Not with all the lies and half-truths still in the air. Not with all the conditions and contradictions, over-blown expectations and eventual disappointments just around the corner. But he was right, and I was so tired of being wrong.

"Then you don't have to say anything just yet." He slid the ring over my middle finger. "Just know that I will always be here for you." He helped me to my feet, pressed his hands against my near-bulging belly. "And the child."

I bit my lip. Why had I not come clean yet?

"It's funny," I began, moving into his embrace. My heart was fluttering a million times per minute. "One of the reasons I was so devastated when you left me was because I thought I was pregnant."

He hugged me harder, kissing my temple. "I'm so sorry."

I shook my head. "It was a false-positive. But Blaze was there for me _so much_ when you were gone. And we just got back on the same page." My eyes trailed upward, meeting his. "So if you really want to apologize to someone, it would be her."

His narrowed. "After she tried to kill me?"

"It's not her fault," I replied.

"_No,_" he said sarcastically. "The hellfire fell from the sky." He then proceeded to go on an extended spiel of how the same fire could have killed me and _his _baby.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not pregnant for you."

Scourge's eyes widened. "WHAT?"

"No, I don't mean it like that." I wove my hands in the air, as if to clear the sudden tension. "I'm actually a surrogate for Blaze."

The confused look on his face didn't leave him.

"Blaze wanted to keep it a secret, that's why I didn't tell you," I informed him before sighing. "Not even her husband knows. Just her main doctor and I know for obvious reasons. But I guess now you and Parker do too."

"Who the hell is Parker?"

"The doctor you met at the hospital," I answered, before briefing him about his connection to Clarissa, me. Scourge nodded.

"So…you're definitely _not_ pregnant for me?"

I shook my head. "I was at two months when I took on your case. So no."

He shook his head. "How did I not know?"

"It's hard to see things when you aren't looking for them," I said, patting my stomach. "Turn's out I'm having her twins."

"You would make a great mother," was his reply. Our noses were touching, and we were almost kissing. "I want us to be a family."

His lips eventually found mine. And in that moment, I was closest to having everything I ever wanted.

To bad moments are fleeting.

* * *

I was still thinking about Scourge's proposal when the hearing finally came.

We were in a small courtroom, similar to the one used in the Bunny case. I wanted to say I was nervous, but the desire to be done with it (like my pregnancy) overpowered most of my feelings.

"Don't look so tense," I said, turning to Scourge. He was dressed up in a suit, and I tried not to stare too much at his dashing appearance. "Half of the battle is confidence."

"I'm not a cocky twenty-year-old anymore." He adjusted his tie. "Whatever. When will the judge be here?"

"This should go quickly," Erickson Fox then said smugly, entering the room with Fiona. It was weird seeing her after all these years. She honestly looked the same, but she seemed less rebellious. It might have just been the dress and blazer she was sporting, but her hair was grown out, pulled into a ponytail. Her eyes were tame, yet more cynical than I remembered. They narrowed at me slightly.

"You look nice." The smirk in her eyes intensified. I gritted my teeth.

_Don't kill her._

"Don't look so tense," Scourge teased me. But even he wasn't smiling. Because the universe really didn't want me to murder Fiona, the main door opened and the judge and bailiff stepped in. Judge Hippo took her seat before us, like a queen above her subjects. Or peasants. It felt more like we were peasants.

"You two again?" she said, looking down at Erickson, then me. "You're the young lady who assisted with Ms. Ferret's case." Even though her face was practically in a permanent frown, she looked somewhat amused. "I trust this will be interesting."

I tried not to gulp. Was "interesting" judge talk for an epic fail? On my part? I shook away all of my doubts. It was now or never.

"Let's get started," she said with a single bang of her gavel. "We are here today, Thursday, July eighth, to reach a verdict on the child custody case between Scourge the Hedgehog and Fiona Fox. Since Mr. Hedgehog filed for custody first, Ms. Rose will begin with the opening statements."

"Right," I said, rising to my feet. "My client, Mr. Hedgehog, is a great father…" I made a speech about how Scourge exemplified model father behavior, from his punctuality and consistency in picking up his son, the positive response Sage has toward him by word of his teachers, a child psychologist, and a child-services counselor.

"I will admit that in cases like this, it is usually the mother who files for custody," the judge commented as she nodded, hopefully in approval. "From personal experiences, it is much easier to be an absentee father than to go above and beyond, so I have a great deal of respect for your efforts."

"Thank you, Your Honor."

She turned to Fiona's legal counsel. "Your statement, Mr. Fox?"

"Yes." The man shuffled his files together before setting them back down on his table. "My client, Ms. Fox, only wants what is best for her son. Since his birth, Ms. Fox reported feeling a strain between her and Mr. Hedgehog. Yet she has always communicated and compromised with him to ensure that both parents raised the child properly. Ms. Fox is a good mother, has a clean record, of which several of my sources can attest to." He handled the bailiff a file to give to the judge. She scanned it briefly before her gaze returned to us.

"The child-services counselor did conclude that both environments were hospitable, with slightly more preference toward Mr. Hedgehog's residence." She looked at Fiona. "You have a roommate?"

Fiona nodded. "Yes. She's one of my best friends. She has a restaurant in the area and offered to move in to help with Sage almost three years ago."

"Weren't you and Mr. Hedgehog living together upon the first year of his birth?" the judge than asked. "What happened between you two?"

"Scourge took a job the next city over," she said. "But we weren't really together. We were just raising Sage. He was walking by then, and didn't need two parents to constantly supervise him."

"Then you approved of Mr. Hedgehog's move?"

Fiona bit her lip. It was weird seeing her look considerate. "No."

"Why not?"

"I knew it would make it harder to take care of Sage. But having him go between us back and forth is a hassle. It would be easier if he was in my primary custody."

"No one said parenting is easy." The judge turned to my table. "Do you have anything to add?"

I nodded. "Going off of your point on parenting, I just wanted to say that Scourge has taken a more active role with his son." I presented the check in/out chart from Sage's school. "Even before Fiona's violent incident with a parent last year, Scourge has a track record of up to ninety-eight percent, of which he would proceed to feed and take Sage to Fiona after school. Since Fiona works in freelance and failed to specify that she if she has a particular conflict during this time, I believe her argument is invalid. Scourge has suffered more trying to ensure that his son spends time with his mother, and he would surely be an even better father-figure for his son if he had primary custody."

"What is this I hear of a violent incident?" the judge asked. I gave her the police statement. Her eyes narrowed. "This doesn't look good, Ms. Fox."

It was too soon to start celebrating, but my soul was cheering. I tried not to smile as I saw both Erickson and Fiona's faces fall as they whispered furiously. All this and I hadn't even dropped the real bomb.

"Based on what I am hearing, it seems like both of you are capable of parenting this child, but that Mr. Hedgehog has gone the extra mile. So tell me," her eyes landed on Scourge, "other than the reasons suggested earlier, are there any additional reasons as to why you desire sole custody?"

"I'm not saying Fiona should never see our son, but so much of raising him has been on her terms. And she doesn't deserve it—not anymore." He sighed. "The museum actually promoted me to the Queen's Museum of Mobius, which is a few hours from where I currently live. There are really good schools there for Sage, yet I can't even consider the position with the way our court-order stands." His gaze hit mine briefly before returning to the judge. "I want to live my life too—possibly start a new family."

"That sounds reasonable." She turned to Erickson. "Your thoughts?"

"Just a few," he said, straightening his tie. His eyes were sharp against mine. "Ms. Rose, have you ever had sexual relations with Mr. Hedgehog?"

"Objection!" I was surprised Scourge said this. He shook his head. "That question is completely unprofessional and irrelevant."

The judge smirked. Even the bailiff was snickering silently. "By the sound of your response, I may already have my answer." Her frown reappeared. "However, I'd like to hear what Ms. Rose has to say."

I fought the urge to scowl. Leave it to a fox to play dirty after _specifically_ _saying_ he wouldn't play dirty! I nodded. "Yes I have, Your Honor."

"The fact that Ms. Rose has slept with her client posses a great ethical dilemma," Erickson pushed. "How is she to consider the child's best interest when she has a both a biased approach to the case?"

The judge looked like she was actually considering his foolishness when I cleared my throat.

"I would just like to say that the start of my relationship with Scourge was just prior to Sage's birth. He actually left me when he discovered Fiona was pregnant, and soon after that I went to law school." My glare found Erickson's. "I think the fact that I _can_ be Mr. Hedgehog's attorney, let alone for a child custody case, shows that I firmly believe he is a person of good character who deserves to raise his son on his terms."

"That claim holds merit—I wouldn't defend my ex-husband even if I knew he was innocent of murder," the judge said as the bailiff laughed.

"I don't have a hidden agenda," I insisted. "You have me on oath."

"Fine. Then I'll rephrase my question," Erickson said, folding his arms. "_When_ was the last time you had sexual relations with Mr. Hedgehog?"

My annoyed eyes fell to the judge as she shrugged. But I hated how entertained she looked. I began with a sigh, "Approximately five weeks ago."

"You see?" Erickson said. "Who's to say Ms. Rose didn't play a part in initiating the custody battle in the first place? She's been jealous of Fiona and her son for years, and taking the boy, as well as Mr. Hedgehog, away seems like the perfect revenge scheme. Especially with the legal leverage she has as an attorney."

"Who's to say that everything Mr. Fox is saying isn't merely a projection of his over-reactive imagination?" I replied. "Not only are his claims inapplicable, he also has no proof."

"You're wrong about that, Ms. Rose." He turned to Judge Hippo. "Could I have Ms. Rose step forward?"

"And what do you hope to show?" she said. Erickson smirked.

"That she's pregnant."

Those were the trigger words—Fiona practically jumped out of her seat. She glared at me. Scourge. Me again. My stomach; my unofficial engagement ring. Her mouth quivered as her eyes filled with something that looked like tears. But I didn't know that wicked bitches were capable of crying.

"Are you_ fucking _kidding me?" Before anyone make sense of the situation, Fiona stormed out of the courtroom.

"Well, this has been an interesting chain of events." The judge played with her gavel. "No matter, if Fiona Fox is not here Friday morning, I will be forced to grant Mr. Hedgehog primary custody, even if I'm not particularly happy with the relationship he has with his legal counsel." She banged her gavel. "The court will now reconvene."

Erickson was grumbling as he excused himself from the courtroom. Scourge looked hopeful, and I should have felt happy, but I knew what I still had to do.

And it wouldn't be easy.

* * *

Well, that escalated quickly. ;P

Let me know your beautiful thoughts (and questions)!

~KB


	32. Chapter 32

Aloha!**  
**

Ah, I can't believe we're reaching the end of this story, let alone this series. Like I mentioned in the last update, this update will mark the end of the technical chapters (the format changes slightly for the ending, but you'll see in the next update - I don't want to ruin the surprise!). Anyway, keep sending your questions for the Q&amp;A by PM or review. Also let me know when you think I should put them up. MistyVoid48 mentioned that I could put some before and after the epilogue, but I'd love to hear your thoughts. There should be two (_maybe_ three) updates after this because the epilogue is a little long, so I'm still working on how I want to present that. But with studying and pretending to have a life, it's probably better to just have two...but I digress.

Anyway, I wanted to give a shout-out to Raquel the writer, Cozy Shadow, Fairlyoddme, xXDarkAngelKittenXx, koalababe, Angelinx, MistyVoid48, LadyMiioh, NotBornHatched, and x K.S.P forever x for reviewing the last couple of chapters. I truly appreciate your support, and I'm glad that you all have been enjoying the story so far.

So yeah, Amy has to make some important decisions in this set. But I'll let you read for yourself.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 32**

I probably wasn't improving my _ethical dilemma_ by spending the night with Scourge. But his place was closer to work. And I had a lot I suddenly had to do.

"Good morning," he said, before kissing me softly. "To think, a few days from now we won't have to do this in secret." He moved down to my neck. I bit my lip. "Or this."

"You have to get Sage ready for school," I laughed before moving from him. "We don't have time for this."

"Okay, okay." He offered me one final kiss before turning on the light. "I guess you should leave before he sees you."

"That's the plan," I replied, pulling off my pajamas.

"You're only going to delay that plan if you continue to undress in front of me."

I rolled my eyes. "You're acting like I'm not a fat, pregnant woman."

His arms wrapped around my form. "You know, when you said the kids weren't ours, I thought I was relieved, but I'm actually a little bummed." He pressed his hand against my stomach softly. "I've always wanted Sage to have siblings."

"It's never too late." I was smiling, but the idea of being pregnant again bummed me out a little. Being pregnant sucked.

"Besides," he said, pecking the back of my neck. "You've never been more beautiful." My smile grew, but it couldn't overpower my inner confliction.

_Then why does it feel like I'm making an ugly mistake?_

* * *

I obtained her address from my file at work. As much as it killed me to get killed by the wicked bitch of the worst that was Fiona Fox, I knew that I couldn't continue forward without her side of the story.

After all, she left the courtroom in tears.

And although I went months with the same expression she had, I wasn't her. I couldn't take something from someone without knowing if they could cope with losing out. Still, I didn't know why I was surprised when she wasn't at her home.

A rush of annoyance hit me until I remembered her roommate. The bar she owned. I did some smart phone searches, but Portia was as obscure as Fiona's conscience. Against better judgment, I snuck into the mailbox, and checked to see if there was anything remotely helpful in it. And there was.

**Electric bill for Moon Light**

It was a five-minute drive to the bar. And it actually looked really classy, despite Fiona's demeanor. There was a sun and moon theme going on, and the space was dim yet buzzing with people even though it was only afternoon. Then I remembered it was also a restaurant. I took a seat at the bar.

"Something to drink?" A pleasant looking young hare asked me. I shook my head.

"I'm actually looking for Portia. I'm an old friend." He nodded.

"She's in the back. I can take you to her real quick."

"Thank you."

He led me through a beaded doorway, and then I was in a space that was a fuse between a storage room and an office. I saw Portia before she saw me.

"Portia Panda?" I said, as she turned to me. "I'm Amy—"

"Let me guess," she began, folding her arms, narrowing her brown eyes at me. "You're Scourge's lawyer?"

"I am," I replied. "Fiona had a temporary restraining order on me. It expired with the start of the hearing, but I wanted to come to you first."

She raised a brow. "And why is that?"

"I wanted to know why she left the courtroom in tears." Portia's eyes widened.

"She didn't tell me _that _happened." She bit her finger. "Shit."

"I know I won't be able to coerce you into telling me why Fiona wants custody, but something isn't sitting well with me."

"You and me both." She refolded her arms. "Fiona's a good mom. And I know Scourge might look better in comparison, but that's no reason for her to lose Sage. Not after all the sacrifices she's made too."

"She'd still get to see her son," I pushed. "It's understandable that she might have lost interest in raising him considering the circumstances, but that's unfair to Sage."

The woman only pursed her lips, looking past me. "Well, I guess you should take that up with Fiona."

"What is _she _doing here?"

Great.

I spun around; saw Fiona for the second time in four years. It was still an unwelcomed shock. I sucked in a breath, contemplating my next move. _Find the words to set her off._

"I wanted to check in on you." I rubbed my stomach and her left eye twitched. "Especially now that we're going to be a family."

Portia shook her head before heading toward the bar area. _Shit. _I just lost the only witness to my murder.

"You act like what happened between me and Scourge is so horrible, and then you go around and do _this_?" There was fire in her eyes of ice, and venom in her voice. "There's a special place in hell for you."

"Then I guess we'll be roomies." I was smirking. "Cut the small talk. I know what you did to Sage—you almost killed him. So don't act all high and mighty."

Her eyes widened. "How the hell do you know?"

"Easy," I replied, "I'm smarter than you. And even after all of that you're _still _trying to take Sage away? What kind of a monster are you?"

"I-It was an accident…" her voice was quivering; her head was casted downward in shame. "…I forgot I had him that day and I came back to him as fast as I could." I shook my head. I had to remember she wasn't capable of showing genuine emotion. This was an act. Just like in the courtroom. But why was my heart telling me otherwise? _Stupid hormones._

"And I'm his _mother_…" Tears were lining her cheeks, yet she refused to wipe them. "…How would actually abandoning him make things better?"

"Do you even _want _to raise him?" I then asked, putting away my bitchy façade. Okay, so she was genuinely upset. Maybe motherhood was the antidote to basic humility.

"Of course I do," she spat, sniffing. "But it hasn't been easy."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. "I trust that even _you _know that raising a kid isn't _easy._ Did you honestly have Sage just to trap Scourge? Because that's low, even for you."

"I don't see you doing anything different." It was funny, how quick her bite was back. "And I didn't do that, you bitch." The intensity in her eyes was back. "I love Sage and I'm thankful for him everyday."

"_Okay._"

She gripped me by my collar. Not hard enough to choke the life out of me, but hard enough to make a point. "If you don't shut it with your witty remarks, I'm going to hurt you. I don't care if you're pregnant or not."

"Good to know you're a model mother figure." I pushed her back. "Look, I'm sorry that you're in this situation. I'm not saying this out of pity or anything, but I'm sorry. I just wanted to know why you were so devastated at the courtroom. So if you want to act smug and call me a bitch again, it'll make it that much easier for me to win my case and start a life with Scourge."

She still looked angry, but it was like part of her anger was being redirected away from me. I didn't know if I could call it progress. I sighed; realizing what I was about to say could ruin everything forever.

"Are you in love with Scourge?"

I expected her eyes to widen, but they narrowed, and focused on something in the distance. "I don't know what I have for him."

The passiveness of her response struck the wrong chord inside me. She ruined everything…and she couldn't even see the damage she had caused? She took Scourge…and she _didn't know_ what she had for him? My brain was too frustrated to comprehend this madness, which was probably why my fist found her face. She glared at me with a mixture of disgust and awe that was as toxic as the air surrounding us, but it didn't faze me. I clenched my fists even harder.

"THEN WHY DID YOU TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME?!"

I was heaving, my throat was burning and my eyes were threatening to spill tears, but I knew I couldn't let them fall—I couldn't let her take advantage of my sudden vulnerabilities.

I shook my head. "I know having a child is hard, but you broke every code of basic decency when you abused me and took him away from me." I spat. "I mean, why didn't either of you just _tell _me? I would have backed off—I would have even helped you. Instead you made the situation toxic, and even now that he is here…I don't know if we even have a chance!"

My eyes widened in unison with Fiona's. It finally hit me—why all of this felt wrong.

"What are you talking about?" she said, gritting her teeth. "He's marrying you, isn't he? He never offered to marry me. _And_ you're pregnant with his child."

I shook my head again. "I know that what we have now doesn't feel completely real. And I don't know if I can truly love him after what he did." I exhaled, forcing my tears down. "Especially when he's still protecting you."

She looked taken back when I told her that Scourge was aware of the car incident with Sage. That despite her keeping it under-raps to him, he had found out and refused to let anyone who could play a role in the hearing know about the occurrence. Including me.

"I didn't know he still cared about me," she sighed. "I honestly think that's why I'm afraid of getting too close to Sage sometimes—because I almost lost him that day." She clenched her fists. "All because I mixed up the day I had him…that's why I hate this back-and-forth custody."

"Even _you_ know that's a horrible excuse."

"What are you going to do then?" It took a second to realize she wasn't provoking me, but rather she was literally asking what I was going to do now. Like a real champ, I hadn't thought this far. I thought there was a real possibility that she might kill me, and I would no longer have to worry about Scourge or the case.

"I'm Scourge's attorney, but due to the nature of this case, I have to consider Sage's best interests as well. As for my 'pregnancy' with Scourge…" I secured my bag over my shoulder, sensing this confrontation grow stale. I was also sensing Blaze hating me more for preparing to spill her secret to yet another soul. "…I'm actually just a surrogate for one of my friends. You can't tell anyone, though."

Fiona looked slightly offended, but completely relieved. "Why the hell would I?"

"Because I'm the gossip of the town." I was joking, but for some reason my business had a way of getting around. Either I really was lousy at keeping secrets, or my friends were unusually nosey. I'd put my money on the latter.

"If it counts—and it probably doesn't count for shit now—I'm sorry." For once there was something that could have been mistaken for compassion in Fiona's eyes. "I really am."

"Good to see you two didn't kill each other," a voice I could only place as Portia's said behind us, before entering the space. She handed drinks. When I wrinkled my nose at the lemonade, Portia laughed. "Now that I think about it, I probably should have stayed back for Pinkie's sake," she said, clicking open a bottle of beer. "She _is_ pregnant, and I've seen you take down a professional wrestler before."

Fiona scoffed, and I settled with this new feeling of non-hate with and old nemesis.

"That's because he wouldn't give Sage an autograph."

* * *

Ms. Ferret would kill me if I lost this case. Especially since I had practically won it.

But I was at the mercy of my hormone-happy intuition and my new revelation about Fiona. Now that I knew that she really wasn't a demon, with decent reasons for her aggression, it suddenly felt like I was the monster.

Still, my boss told me to talk to her if I somehow became jaded, but this wasn't some mental block due to my pregnancy. I was at a threshold—I had to jump or step back. And I knew both options were potentially destructive. I also knew that I couldn't confide in Phil without spilling more of Blaze's secrets. And Clarissa would just be a know-it-all and probably respond with a weak, "Do what _feels_ right." Hardcore lawyer with the heart of a hippy.

I thought of Scourge. He knew about the incident, yet he was keeping it from me. I mean, I knew that despite everything Fiona was the mother of his child, but something about it didn't sit right with me. I wanted to talk to him, but wouldn't he just deny it? If not, swear me to secrecy?

That left me with Shadow. I rubbed my temple as I drove. In the past, I could always count on him, whether I was aware of it or not. But now…would he even answer his door if I knocked on it? Would he even be there? After all, he was now Mina's muse, so what right did I have to impose on them?

Against better judgment, I went to his house anyway. And apparently, I wasn't the only one with the bright idea.

I saw the blinking cameras before the cars. Paparazzi?

_"Mina! Tell us about your engagement!"_

_ "When's the wedding?"_

_ "How good is Shadow in bed? Is he kinky?"_

I parked my car at the side of the road and rushed up to the madness. I didn't know what was wrong with me—I didn't care as much as I cared. The flashing lights blocked out the evening sky, but I snuck past it, heading to his backyard. Through the blinds of one of the windows, I could see them. Shadow and Mina. They were dressed up and discussing something sort of aggressively, and Shadow didn't look particularly happy, but what was new? My hand drew up to knock against the glass when a hand latched over mine. Another cupped over my mouth before I could scream.

"Sorry, girlie," the bear security guard said. "But no one get's in. We already had one breach." He nudged in the direction of the paparazzi. I shook my head, wiggling free.

"_Please_ just let them know I'm out here!" I almost spat. "I needed to talk to Shadow briefly. I'm Amy Rose."

The bear sighed. "I know who you are, but I'm sorry. I'll be sure to relay the message when they're free. Tonight's really important."

It was my turn to sigh. "No. It's fine. Thanks for not killing me on the spot, I guess."

The man laughed. "Keep your chin up, I'm sure whatever you're going through can't be that bad."

He had absolutely no idea.

I smiled with a small nod. "Good night."

"Night."

But I guess in some way he was right. The decisions before me weren't that difficult when I separated my emotions and my involvement from them. Still, as I walked back to my vehicle and saw the celebrity couple emerge from the house, conflicted was an understatement to how I felt.

They looked happy.

And somehow that made me feel—

"_Amy Rose_?" I froze. _Shit._ I felt a million lights that shone with the intensity of the sun bask my form. I waved cautiously, and then the questions erupted.

_"What do you have to say about the lovely couple?"_

_ "Do you ever get mani-pedis with Mina?"_

_ "Have you found your soulmate?"_

I smiled, even though my heart was both swelling and dying at the same time. I laughed, even though I was quickly realizing that nothing in my life was a laughing matter.

I caught a glimpse of Shadow looking in my direction before entering a car. His expression softened if only for a second, and his lips parted as if to say something before some stupid cameraman blocked him from me. In a moment, the car sped off.

And that was it.

I had to make this decision by myself.

* * *

What will Amy do? Is there even a decision to make?

P.S. I _just_ added the part where Amy goes to Shadow's house. So my apologies if it felt a little tacked on. Unfortunately, this chapter (especially the next one) is a little short, so I wanted to add some meat. Nevertheless, please read on!

~KB


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

We were in the courtroom. Take two.

Scourge was giddy in the manliest way possible. I tried to smile as he squeezed my hand under the table like he was the anxious one. But he had nothing to be anxious about. The judge had done Fiona a real favor by allowing us to reconvene at a later date. And unless Mr. Fox had some substantial evidence—which he didn't because he was a fucking idiot—we were going to win. We had to.

"I'm so over this." Scourge inhaled. "All this hassle for this one moment. It's hard to imagine it ending positively."

I fought the urge to bite my lip. "Well, try to imagine harder."

I shouldn't have been edging him on; I was just as conflicted as he was, if not more. And the fact that he _still_ didn't tell me…it added tremendously to my confusion. I mean, sure, we were in a custody battle, which meant that this whole ordeal was destined to be drenched in conflict. But he filed first, symbolizing perhaps a greater desire to win. So why withhold his winning move?

However, it was understandable that he wanted to protect Fiona to an extent. She was the mother of his child. But something about the whole thing _still _bugged me. And my window of opportunity was quickly closing. This fact was further illustrated when Fiona walked in with Erickson. She didn't offer a callous remark, which was evidence that our encounter was not a figment of my imagination. Even Scourge looked slightly taken back by her non-meanness.

"What's gotten into her?" he mumbled. I held my breath; I wanted to ask him the same question—I should have interrogated him weeks ago. I sighed.

"Scourge, just to clarify real quickly, is there anything else you'd like me to know?"

He pursed his lips before saying, "I think I've mentioned everything worth mentioning." He smirked lightly. "You're supposed to be the confident one, remember?"

"And you're supposed to be completely honest with me, _remember_?" I almost retorted. I shook my head. No matter. I had made my decision, and there was no going back now.

"All rise for Judge Harriett Hippo," the bailiff said as the two entered the space. And just like that, the window was sealed. Scourge blinked at me, but I only smiled.

"I hope that Ms. Fox was able to get her emotions in order," the judge said as she settled in her seat. "One more outburst like that and I'll be taking an early lunch."

"Yes, Your Honor." Fiona sighed. "Thank you for this chance."

"I'll start with Mr. Fox to issue the concluding remarks."

The fox man nodded, before narrowing his eyes at us. "Ultimately, it would be just as unfair to ignore Mr. Hedgehog's contributions to his son's wellbeing as it would to ignore my client. As a devoted husband and father myself, I understand that the power dynamic between raising children, especially at such a young age…" He proceeded to go on a spiel about boys at Sage's age gravitating more to their father, with psychological evidence, and the need for a proper mother figure for proper development.

"But if Mr. Hedgehog is considering taking a new mate," the judge began to consider, "and if that person is who we think it is, it seems like that figure would be fulfilled quite nicely."

Erickson shook his head. "Come on now, you know that would be an unnecessary disservice to Fiona."

"Leaving the courtroom after uttering profane language in a judge's presence was an _unnecessary disservice_." She turned to my table. "As I said earlier, I don't like the idea of you two having unprofessional relations. However, I don't believe it has truly affected either person's judgment on this case. So I will take Ms. Rose's final statement, and then I will make a decision. Please stand."

I nodded, rising. I felt the loving glare of Scourge on me as I took a deep breath.

"First, I would like to apologize for engaging in inappropriate relations with my client," I began. "I know that it is tempting to assume that I may be a good mother figure for Sage, as I am in an engagement with his father and appear to be pregnant with his sibling…but I am not." I rubbed my stomach, sighing. "Like I told Mr. Hedgehog, I'm a surrogate for my best friend…and I know she isn't happy that I kept this relationship a secret. However, I'm not happy either."

I closed my eyes, realizing that this was going to get _so much_ worse before even sort of resembling something good. "I'm not happy that Fiona has drifted from her son…and I don't think that putting him into primary custody with Mr. Hedgehog will help the greater issue."

"_Rosie,_" I heard Scourge whisper behind me. "_What are you_—"

"Sage is also my client, and I don't believe his relationship with either of his parents should be strained simply because they cannot work out their differences with each other. I reached out to Fiona, and was finally able to understand her side of the story. With the help of a court-appointed counselor, I believe they will be able to create a more positive arrangement for their son. That is all."

The judge was nodding, but it was hard to see much of anything. My vision was spotty, blinded by the reality of the situation—the words that I couldn't take back. My feet wanted to pick up and run as far as I could, but I stood my ground. I didn't have to turn around to know that Scourge was glaring at me, nor could I bring myself to.

"Your perspective and sense of rationality goes well beyond your years," the judge said. "You said what I was thinking the entire time. I don't know when Mr. Hedgehog and Ms. Fox had their falling out, but it seems like they had a good arrangement before, and they should be encouraged to return to that state. Therefore, I believe counseling, which I will order, will be highly beneficial. Overall, I am very impressed by your objectivity in this situation." Her green eyes lit up as they scanned the courtroom. "Thus, I am denying Mr. Hedgehog's case for primary custody of Sage the Hedgehog, as well as Fiona Fox's counter-case for custody of the boy. I encourage the parties here today not to see this hearing as a loss, but an opportunity to make amends and be proper parents to their son." She hit her gavel. "Court adjourned."

"What _the hell_ was that?" Scourge jumped up after the judge left the room. "Were you planning this all along? Do you think you're being some sort of hero?"

"You never told me what Fiona did to Sage," I said, packing my things together. His expression didn't change. "If you really wanted custody of him, you would have told me—If you _really_ wanted to be with me, you would have told me. Instead, you were protecting Fiona. Again." My eyes were glossy with tears, but I refused to let them fall.

"You care about her more than you're willing to admit," I continued, fighting the urge to cry. "A-And although I'm not denying your love for me, it's unfair to everyone if we keep being dishonest about our feelings." I slid off my ring, placing it on the table. "All I ever wanted was for us to be honest with each other. But we both failed miserably."

Scourge was glaring at me. It was hard to read his expression beyond his restrained anger and disappointment in me, perhaps himself. "I guess we did."

But that was all I could take. My feet finally found movement, and I left—like I should have months ago.

"Amy!" I heard a voice call after me but my pace picked up. I started to sprint when a pair of arms wrapped over my torso.

"LET ME GO, FIONA."

"Just shut up and let me hug you," she said like I had a choice. "_Thank you_. You didn't have to do that."

"I didn't do it for you," I spat, breaking down into a puddle of tears. I wanted to say it was for Sage—but I knew I was too selfish for that to be true. I was obsessed with having the perfect relationship. And I couldn't accept that Scourge was a serial truth keeper anymore than the fact that Fiona still loved him.

"I know." She hugged harder.

"J-Just make sure y-you work it out." I was sobbing like a small child. The level of plead in my voice was pathetic, but for once, I didn't care. "_Please._"

"I will."

* * *

Promises were too fragile to take to heart. Especially when your heart was broken.

I got all the tears out of me as I walked up to Blaze's door, feeling a rush of deja vu. But I knew I had been here, in this tragic state, before.

When the door opened, she was staring down at me. Reaffirming that I could never win this power struggle. So I hugged her, burying my head in her neck.

"What's wrong?" She was concerned—she was always concerned about me, and I needed that to end. I just held on tighter, surprised that I still had more tears to shed. I shook my head.

"I'm s-so sorry." My voice was quivering when I finally drew away from her. She wiped my eyes, before I took my shaking hands into hers.

"It's over."

* * *

So this is the end of the chapters (but NOT the end of the story). Again, I apologize for the shortness, but I think everything that happened was purposeful. There will be another update before the epilogue, so be sure to have your questions in by then. I have another busy week (actually two busy weeks) ahead of me, so I can only promise that there will be an update next week probably on Thursday-Friday, and then hopefully the final one a week after that. So we're looking at the conclusion being maybe the 19th, but it could be a day earlier or a day later.

Please let me know your thoughts about everything. Good night!

~KB


	34. Chapter 34

**Month 6**

He didn't call. Not even once.

* * *

**Month 7**

Rouge finally got back to me with her investigation. What she told me changed everything.

Yet nothing.

* * *

**Month 7.5**

I received an invitation to Shadow and Mina's wedding.

* * *

**Month 8**

I left a gift on their porch.

You could call it my blessing.

* * *

**Month 9**

My winter coat was the only thing that properly hid my protruding belly. However, the November chill was as refreshing as it was devastating. A small part of me enjoyed this pregnancy illusion—the courageous few asking me when I was due, had I painted the nursery and was my husband excited.

Ha, husband.

Clarissa was practically living with Parker now, which made this game all the more easier to play. Blaze had decided to forgo a baby shower, which was also as convenient as it was depressing. It would be her only one, even if it was fake, and I was due next week. She was running out of time too.

My phone vibrated as I walked aimlessly through Merriment Plaza. It was Saturday, and my friends had better friends, so I guess this was what I was reduced to. Ms. Ferret cut me down to size when I lost my case, agreeing that my moment of compassion (Or insanity. Her words) was pregnancy related, and put me on paper work until I was "free of the burden". Phoebe and Tabitha, however, had no problem laughing at my in-office demotion. When my phone started ringing, I finally gave in.

"Hello?"

"Amy?" said Cream. "Hey, are you busy?"

I was trying this new thing called "not lying" so I said no.

"Great! Sally, Rouge, and Clarissa have a moment this afternoon and we wanted to trick Blaze into coming to her baby shower. We'll go to a restaurant…Exchange a few gifts. It won't kill her."

But it could kill this genius operation. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to reject the idea. It would be stupid and risky, but tell me what wasn't.

"Sure," I said. "What do you want me to do?"

She sent me a list of supplies. However, I mostly just had to pick out a gift for Blaze (as well as one from Rouge because yeah). I delved further into the mall, into a baby store, feeling a rush of excitement. Blaze and Silver had opted against learning the genders, so I could essentially pick out anything.

"Can I help you?" an older puma woman asked me. I pursed my lips—I was beginning to waste time looking through everything.

"What would you get for a baby shower gift?" I asked.

"Is it for a boy or girl?"

I shrugged. "My friend doesn't know the genders yet. But they're twins."

Her eyes lit up. "I know just the thing."

She fetched a pair of yin and yang blankets.

"It's gender neutral without being impersonal," she said, showing off the intricate fleece design. I nodded; Blaze's tastes were anything refined and practical.

"I'll take it." I paid for the blankets and went on my merry way. I even felt a kick, possibly affirming I made the right decision. I smiled as I rubbed my stomach.

"Just a little longer."

I was almost to my car when I realized I had forgotten to get Rouge's present. The urge to ignore the urge to go back was beyond real. I knew that Ty was only a few months old, and that Rouge was on a busy workout regimen to resume her spy thing, but this was annoying. All this effort on top of the ultimate effort of carrying not one, but two babies that weren't even mine…

As I walked back to the upscale baby store, I didn't know why this thought bothered me so much. Truthfully, it had been bothering me for months. I mean, I _couldn't_ have a baby right now—I wasn't even _sort of_ with anyone. I knew that if I was pregnant on my terms that my friends would pitch in, but it wouldn't be the same thing as having a real family. A husband. A home. Unwavering love and support.

I pushed the thought of never finding someone away as I leaned against the wall of the store for support. _Shit._ I couldn't even walk three blocks without exhausting myself? With a grunt, I pushed myself inside the building, ignoring that thought too.

When I waved to the sales associate from earlier, her expression was hardly optimistic. Before I could ask why, her glance fell downward. Before my gaze could follow, I felt it. The wetness.

The searing pain.

* * *

She called the dispatch. They called Blaze. She called Parker.

But it was hard to think through the pain. It was almost blinding—I didn't know why I wasn't blind. But I knew that I was making everyone around me deaf with all of my screaming.

"Give me the damn drugs!" I yelled. It felt like my insides were ripping open—like my body was being struck by a million needles. Repeatedly.

"You said shots terrified you," Blaze said as I was rushed to a delivery room.

"FUCK THAT." I didn't know how it was possible for my breathing to be so heavy, yet shallow.

"There's no time," Parker said, dawned in scrubs, entering the room. "They're coming out _now_."

I think I screamed more out of surprise than pain.

He and a nurse loaded me on the hospital bed, and I felt like a dying whale. I tried not to think too much about what I was feeling, what was happening, or what would happen later. So I closed my eyes in a hard squint, listened to his commands like it would make the excruciating pain subside.

With time, everything felt worse.

I wanted release, but the world was endless and agonizing. Blaze was holding onto my hand—I would have felt guilty for squeezing the life out of it, but I was _suffering_.

"You can do this!" she encouraged. "You're strong, Amy!"

I could only grunt louder.

Seconds turned into an eternity, which each one passing sending even more intense shockwaves of pain. I heaved in the air around me as I compelled my pelvic muscles to push. But it seemed impossible. Each thrust seemed like it was getting both me and the baby nowhere. Blaze wiped my sweaty temple with her free hand before turning to the man between my legs.

"How much longer?" she said on my mouth's behalf. I grunted again.

"Just one more inch to go!" Parker then said. "Push!"

By now, I was screaming so loud that I couldn't hear anything. But then there was a quick break of silence in the air, and my hearing was restored. Crying?

A baby was…crying?

Through tired, lidded eyes, I watched Parker hand him to the nurse. He mouthed something. _Boy? _He was a boy?

"One more to go." All relief subsided when I felt another stir in my lower regions, and it was more agonizing than the first. But I had already lost my voice, and probably in a few more moments, my will to live.

"_Push_." Parker was only motivating the walls at this point. "Just one more push!"

The strength came from Blaze, the hopeful tears in her eyes. She pinched my hand harder as and it was like her strength manifested in me. She was wrong. I wasn't stronger than her. But with her by my side, I knew that I could literally deliver the impossible. So I took a deep breath. Pushed.

And a girl was born.

* * *

But I was pretty much dead.

I knew this was true when I saw a stampede of familiar friends rush past my hospital room to Blaze's like I was some ghost. It was probably sick—her lying in a hospital bed, like me, pretending to have just given birth. But the important thing was that the twins were here. That they were healthy.

And that they weren't mine.

Which was why I was here. Alone. In a dim room. Losing what I never actually had in the first place. I turned to my glowing phone; saw the missed calls and texts from the others. _Why aren't you here? Blaze just gave birth. Come on! Are you okay? _

I was still deciding that for myself.

Most of the pain had subsided, but instead of relief, I just felt dazed. I had finally accomplished something bigger than myself, and as much as I understood the sisterhood of secrecy I had sworn myself to, I couldn't help but feel slightly dismayed. I had known no true sacrifices until this day…and it felt as gratifying as it was unsettling. I blamed the hormones. Something that resembled sadness swelled inside my heart, but somehow I ultimately felt unaffected. It was like sleeping.

And I didn't know when I would wake up.

* * *

When I actually woke up, my room was bathed in darkness. It took a while to register where I was—why I felt numb. I closed my eyes in a hard squint; the color of the inside of my eyelids was practically the same as the world when they were open. I sighed, rising slowly to my feet, and clicking on an invisible light switch next to the door.

I itched the tag around my wrist, tugged at the collar of my hospital gown. That's right. I was still at the hospital. I had just given birth hours ago, and was high on pain meds. I wrinkled my nose as the sterile air made contact with it, before finding a bag of my clothes on the seat next to my bed. I slipped them on against better judgment even though I was pretty sure I wasn't supposed to be leaving. But I wanted to see them.

My feet guided me to the room with little input from my brain. The hospital was quiet, and I welcomed it. When I saw a balloon with the words "It's twins!" poking from one of the doors, I knew I wasn't the only one welcoming things. I stood by it, watching the new family.

Blaze was sleeping, looking as perfect as a new mom could be, with her husband's hand in hers as he slept with her in the hospital bed.

Further in the room were the twins, also sleeping, in separate cribs. I opened the door as quietly as I could. My heart swelled with each step I took. They were periwinkle bundles of joy. Secured over one of their wrists—the boy's—was an ID band with his name. Silas Vincent Hedgehog.

I turned to the sleeping girl. Tears began to shed when I read hers.

Aimee Violet Hedgehog.

Wiping them with the back of my hand, I knew I had to leave before I literally started crying like a baby. With a small wave, I left them like I was never there in the first place. After all, despite my involvement and prior protest, I was realizing everyone would be happier with this obscurity. I had always wanted happiness, but I was also discovering that it took on many forms. And I was so fortunate to have this one.

By the time I returned to my room, it felt more like a jail. So I pulled my purse over my shoulder, even though I was pretty sure I hadn't driven here, and started for the door again. However, something caught my eye before I could open it. Resting on my pillow was a single rose. My eyes widened. But when I thought about the gesture, I couldn't help but smile.

How accurate.

* * *

This chapter has always been incredibly bittersweet to me. What Amy does for Blaze is so beautiful, yet saddening. Like you all guessed, Amy ends up alone. Only the next chapter, however, can prove if this is long term. But in this final moment, it is so fulfilling to see her come this far - to finally find peace in being independent and selfless.

The AN is at the end, which might be a little weird, but I just wanted to thank all of you for your reviews. I'd like to make it to 200 reviews before the story ends, but I'm not forcing you...Yet. Lol.

Anyway, please share your thoughts. We have one more chapter until the epilogue (which I will be posting it sometime between this weekend or next Thursday - I'd put your money on Wednesday/Thursday), so please have all of you questions in by Friday. But I've wasted enough of your time; on to the last chapter!

~KB


	35. Chapter 35

**A Year Later…**

Weddings would eventually be the death in me.

Although I had the luxury of having Sally plan most of it, I was still part of the stupid bridal party. And being part of the stupid bridal party meant making sure everyone else was having a good time. While trying not to strangle myself.

"And that's why you should never trust anyone. _Ever._" Clarissa's brother Chris said, earning a ballroom full of laughs. "But seriously, I paid a dear price not being more careful with my finance firm, and I regretted not seeing my sister grow up to be the fine young lady she is today. However, as this is a new beginning for me, it is an even greater time for her and Parker. And I'm so blessed to finally be present in her life, especially as a part of this new family." His hazel eyes shifted to the couple of the hour. "You have no idea how proud and happy I am for the both of you." He rose his glass. "To the bride and groom."

With a toast, I took my drink in a blissful swig. I would never underestimate the simple pleasure of drinking freely ever again. And Phil had made a _generous _wine donation.

"Now if the maid-of-honor would say some words?" Chris handed the microphone to me.

Gripping the microphone hard enough to squeeze the non-existent life out of it, I stared down at the audience.

"First of all, let's give Sally, the real bitch in charge, a round of applause." Clapping erupted, as Sally playfully nudged my shoulder. I delivered a charming speech about Clarissa being my partner in crime during law school and life, and that Parker really had a gem. I smiled. "You two honestly are the epitome of true love, and everyone here can see that. Congratulations."

The reception was in full throttle in seconds. Music bathed the space just as much as the flashing lights. I didn't really care to dance, but as I scanned the party floor I could see the twins with Silver, trying (but failing miserably) to groove to the beat.

"I can't believe that I'm this lucky to have them." Despite the roar of the music, I could still hear Blaze. She came to my side, also sporting the same black dress. She pinched my hand. "And you."

I smirked, watching Silas fall on his butt. "I did abandon you for three months after they were born...So I'm not _that _great."

"What exactly did you do anyway?"

I shrugged. "Hiked mountains. Volunteered. Traveled. _Joined a circus_." I watched Blaze roll her eyes. "Spent too much money…"

I was subsequently fired (then rehired) at the firm, but that was aside the point.

"It's like a dream, though." She smiled at her family. "I mean, they're like living train wrecks, but it's really fun watching them figuring things out."

"I can't believe Silver never figured it out," I considered, shaking my head. "Not to pry, but what if he wants more kids?"

Blaze's golden eyes lit up. "As you can see, he clearly finds two to be a handful," she said with a laugh. "But if he did, I would be honest with him this time. We'd use a surrogate openly, like we should have before." Her gaze softened. "I'm sorry for putting you through all that trouble."

"_Aww_, you finally grew up." Blaze rolled her eyes. I was forgetting that I wasn't the only one that had matured from this. I could even see the change in Silver; despite him being oblivious, he was finally tolerable, and I could see why Blaze was with him. However, the twins were already more than enough. I remembered trying to get Aimee (who was affectionately called to as Violet) and Silas to use forks, only to have them flick the utensils in my face like a slingshot. Simultaneously. I still had the marks on my forehead to prove it…

"I had to. I owe everything to you." She pinched my hand again. "Remember that they are yours as much as they are mine. And when you find your true love, you'll know because you already have it with us."

I smiled back at her as a rush of sentiment hit me. It was weird; as much as I considered Blaze and the twins to be exceptionally important to me, I had never told them that I loved them. Could that be what real love was? Something that you felt with every fiber of your being? Something that didn't matter if it was said, just warmly expressed? I felt like an idiot that this was just occurring to me.

I nudged toward the dance floor. "Go. It's hard enough to dance with one person, let alone two uncoordinated toddlers."

Violet took the initiative to fall this time, and suddenly Silver looked beyond overwhelmed. Blaze sighed before heading toward her family.

"Make sure you have fun!" she called out. It took everything not to scoff. Anyone with eyes could see that I was _totally_ having fun. Even if I was now standing by myself like a loser—

"Amy!" Clarissa pulled me into a bear hug from behind. She had changed out of her first, more traditional gown. Now she wore an above knee, white party dress with a few black embellishments. "Are you having fun!?"

"Not as much as you." But I was smiling. And I liked to believe that counted somehow.

"You know, I always imagined us having a dual wedding," she said, forcing me to move along with the beat. "Is that weird?"

"You've always been weird," I replied, twirling her. "I bet you and Parker like it weird."

"_Good one._"

"Now _go_ dance with your husband."

Clarissa pursed her lips. "I will when _you_ go dance with someone."

I moved my shoulders to the rhythm of a new song. "I'm dancing with you aren't I?"

"No, you owe me a wedding wish," she said. "I want you to dance or talk to someone you wouldn't normally—step outside your comfort zone. It doesn't even have to be a dude. I just don't want you standing around the dessert bar getting fat off of strawberry cheesecake."

"But I _love_ strawberry cheesecake." I mean, I was in better shape now than I was pre-pregnancy (blame Sally), but she was right. And she wasn't backing down.

"_Okay._" I pouted like a whining child. "But you might want to help your husband."

Parker was off to the front of the dance hall, near the DJ that was Tails, "dancing". Clarissa gasped before rushing after him.

"Didn't I tell you how _uncool _the running-man is?" And that was the last of that. Following her advice, I skipped the dessert table and headed for the bar. Compromise.

"What can I get for you?"

"Only you would work at your son's wedding."

"Better than watching Parker's shameful dance moves." Phil shrugged as I laughed, but he was glowing the glow of a proud father. "It's not work if you enjoy it."

"If you say so."

"I know so." He prepared the bride and groom's signature drink, a white wine with some blackberry embellishments. When I brought out a tip, Phil shook his head. "I thought I was the one giving tips around here?"

"Well, I could use a couple." My boss groaned as she struggled with two large bottles of bourbon. She put them on the bar table with a dramatic sigh. "Why do you make everything look so easy?"

"Where are Portia and Fiona?" Phil said. I searched the dance-floor; saw Fiona dancing with Sage, Portia with some hot girl.

"On the dance floor. Enjoying themselves." I eyed the older couple. "Like you two should."

"I don't know. I'd hate to leave my post." But it didn't take two seconds for Phil to take Ms. Ferret's hand and get lost on the dance floor.

I pursed my lips. "I guess I'll just stay here then…"

There was no line for the bar, but I didn't feel compelled to leave it. I surveyed the wedding partygoers; it was like they were in their own florescent bubble. And if I got too close, it would pop and the harshness of reality would kill them or something.

"What can I get you?" I said, as a familiar face approached me.

His eyes of fire lit up, almost smirking on his mouth's behalf. "I take it your career as an attorney isn't working out so well?" Shadow said.

"It's working about as well as everything else, so I can't complain," I replied, wiping a glass like I actually knew what I was doing. "But I'm not going to ask what you want again."

He pressed his lips together before jumping over the table. In a few moments he prepared two glasses of wine.

"What, no scotch?"

"You can't handle that, remember?" He offered me a nod before stepping over the counter again. "Now if you excuse me."

"You're not leaving this early are you?" In reality, it was sort of late. But only for someone who had to go through _seventy-four_ case profiles by Monday.

"I don't enjoy social gatherings."

"Neither do I!"

"Unlike you, I have no social obligation to be here," he reasoned. "Have a good night—"

"I want to apologize," I shook my head, setting the glass down. What was I doing? Was I that desperate for him to stay? I continued with a sigh. "The time I came onto you, I didn't know that was the anniversary of Maria's death. You were vulnerable then, and it was also wrong to come in between you and Mina."

Yet despite Rouge's briefing last year, his words didn't explain one thing.

I sighed. "Still, why didn't you just tell me that you had an mission to protect Mina that included helping to advance her career? Fake engagement and all? I would have understood—"

"Because I thought this would be _your_ wedding."

It was weird, how silent the room suddenly was. Yet, I was pretty sure DJ Twin Tails had just raised the volume. I could only blink at him.

"The rabbit girl's birthday party…when you said Parker and your roommate were dating, I realized I had made a huge mistake." He sighed. "But I still didn't want to impose on any chance for you to be with him. And my circumstance with Mina hardly gave me the right to foil the operation. I had to impede a terrorist group that targeted Mina before. And acting as her partner was part of the mission in order to lure away suspicion. She wasn't aware of it either, although her manager thought that our relationship could be marketing gold. However, by the time she discovered this, the group had just been detained and her album had already gone platinum, so we ended things promptly.

"If I told you—if I tried to be with you then—either of us could have potentially ruined the operation." His eyes narrowed against mine, but they were calm.

"But you're stronger now. Happier," he continued. "If we were together then, you wouldn't have been able to grow as much as you did. And I think that helped my rationale—the idea that we would be better apart. And you are. You know that."

"I don't know much of anything anymore," I replied, folding my arms. In some ways, it was like nothing changed. But he was right. If everything went how I wanted then, I wouldn't have had something that resembled closure with Scourge. Fiona and I would still want to kill each other. My relationship with Blaze would probably just be tolerable at best. I wouldn't have given birth to the twins.

And that final notion broke my heart.

I took a deep breath, but no tears came. I wasn't sad, nor was I truly relieved. It was just a reaction to clearing the air, I guess. I could hear Clarissa now, bragging about her threat of a suggestion to "talk to people" earlier. _Damn her psychic, psychotic tendencies... _

I breathed in this healing air. "Well, thanks for opening up. You didn't have to."

"Maria always pushed me to be a good person," he began, folding his arms. "But I was horrible to you. I thought it was better for you to be with someone else, but I ignored your feelings in the process. I am very sorry."

I nodded, processing his response. And since I wasn't easily satisfied with explanations or apologies, I still had one more question.

"Was it you?"

I was being as problematic as I was being vague; and I knew that I had to stop searching for ways to disappoint myself. It was him or Scourge, and I didn't know who to put my money on—or if I'd even win anything if I won.

The corner of Shadow's lip jerked upward. I'd like to call it a smile.

"I'm surprised the ones who call themselves your friends didn't notice," he said, indirectly answering my question. I closed my eyes, forced down my sudden surge of emotions.

"So you left the rose?"

"Unfortunately."

I opened my eyes, and saw the ache in his, the deflated expression on his usually expressionless face.

"Thank you." I tried not to think too much about his act, or this new revelation that changed almost nothing. "I miss talking to you," I then said, feeling the mood change as a slow ballad washed over us. "Can we be friends again?"

"You're acting like we were friends in the first place."

I laughed. "There's the ray of sunshine we all know and love."

"No matter. I promise to never hurt you or your feelings intentionally again." Shadow brought out his hand. "As friends."

I took it. "As friends."

What I did next was probably wrong. I hugged him, despite how much he hated hugs. Then I kissed him before I could ask permission, despite how much he hated surprises. And it was a surprise to me when he allowed me to deepen it, allowed my arms to wrap around his back, allowed our tongues to dance a sensual dance. The heat of his lips, the trace of wine on his breath…it was all intoxicating, overwhelming. But I missed it.

I missed him.

When we parted, the hint of confusion on his face was as foreign as it was amusing. I couldn't help but smirk as I rose on the tips of my toes, and pressed my lip to his ear. "_Friends _kiss too."

The music started playing something I could finally dance to when I saw Blaze motioning toward me with a smug grin. I gave Shadow a small salute before heading for the dance floor. But in a fleeting moment, his hand found mine.

And we were no longer lost.

* * *

So that's it, folks!

I don't have much time to go on a spiel about why the story ended the way it did, but I just hope that you've all enjoyed it. Writing this series has been quite a journey, and although it has come to an end-ish, know that it really was a pleasure writing for you guys. Like I said earlier, the epilogue will be up sometime before a week, as well as the answers to the Q&amp;A. Again, it was a joy.

~KB


	36. Epilogue (Part I)

So this is it?!

It's hard to imagine this being the last update for this story, let alone this series, but it is. As you may have noticed, the epilogue has two parts, followed by the Q&amp;A. if we're being perfectly honest, you can read the Q&amp;A before the epilogue if you want to, but there is a very slight possibility it might spoil the epilogue if you're being hypersensitive or if you literally read too much into it. Just letting you know. :)

Finally, thanks again to Cozy Shadow, Fairlyoddme, Raquel the writer, MistyVoid48, Lady Miioh, Angelinx, Guest, NotBornHatched, xXDarkAngelKittenXx, FFLuvr, Nightstar95, and Nouveau for reviewing the last couple of chapters. I'm truly sorry if I missed anyone.

Now on to the epilogue!

* * *

**Seven Years Later…Part I **

"Remind me why you invited those imbeciles to our home again?"

I folded my arms before glaring at my husband, whose stance practically mirrored mine. "Those imbeciles are our _friends_, remember?"

Shadow's crimson eyes remained unconvinced.

"Like hell they are."

"Why are you being so mean?" I said. "It's Sloan and Salem's birthday." I turned the oven off. "Doesn't it get a little tiring playing Mr. Doom and Gloom all the time?"

He scoffed. "The only thing that's tiring is retuning home from a mission, only to get a text from the faker that he can't wait to pillage through our stuff."

I shook my head. "He's not going to 'pillage through our stuff'."

"His monsters will."

I had to fight off a laugh. My hands moved to his shoulders, and I studied his expression. He didn't really look pissed, but I could tell something else was bothering him. Well, more than usual.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He took my hand, laced his fingers through mine. "How can I assist you, my love?"

I grinned slightly before shaking my head. "Why don't you just relax for a second? You just got back and the kids should be up to bother us soon."

"Fair enough."

"But today's going to be fun," I assured him. "Let's go show everyone how awesome we are." I offered him a fist to bump with my free hand. He rolled his eyes before cupping my cheek and kissing me. It was a gentle gesture, but it was still an invitation. It had been weeks since we—

His mouth widened and his tongue intertwined with mine. I whimpered as he sealed the gap between us. He pressed me against the counter, and I wrapped my legs along the small of his back as he lifted me on the counter. The feeling…it was too good to stop. But we had to.

"_Shadow...the kids_—" His lips pressed against my neck, silencing me. I choked on a moan before my hands scrambled for the belt of his pants. _"—We have to be quick_."

His lip jerked upward in a small smile. "You will."

I fought the urge to scoff when he hiked up my dress; his hands rubbed along my thighs, spreading my legs. My lust filled eyes found his as I kissed him harder. He let out a growl as my hands clawed against his back, and I thrust my hips against his. His hands moved to them, steadying me as he suckled on my lip.

"_What are you waiting for_?" I whispered in his ear before licking it, biting it. "_Take me_."

I watched him through lidded eyes as he moved to my neck again. I felt his warm, soft breath trickle against it until he stopped abruptly, his eyes shifting to the corner of the room.

"I didn't ask for an audience," was his response.

I blinked the confusion out of my eyes before looking over his shoulder. I deflated with a sigh. "Really, Rouge?"

She only smirked before shutting the door behind her. "Hate to intrude, but—" she paused before folding her arms over her leather jacket, tilting her head. "Actually, Sugar, if you arch your back _a little bit_ more, he'll have perfect contact with your—"

"Get on with it."

She pouted her lips. "Mission. Ravnora Gardens. Planned attack at 11:00."

My heart fell; that was only a few hours before the party. I rubbed Shadow's shoulder, nodding. "Go."

He sucked in some air through his teeth before pinching my hand. "I'll be back soon."

"Okay." He pecked my lips before stepping past Rouge.

"Sorry," she then said. But the usual sly look in her teal eyes had evaporated. "It shouldn't take more than a few hours. Turn's out some motherfuckers messed with the water supply to poison the people at the garden." She twirled a loose strand of her hair as if she wasn't talking about terrorists. "For some odd reason everyone's more genocidal in the fall." She wrinkled her nose. "I think they're putting something in pumpkin spice lattes. Ruby had one and she's been a bitch ever since."

I couldn't help but laugh before hearing a girl scream in the living room. "I'm going to take that your kids are here?"

She nodded. "Feel free to enlist them in manual labor."

"I'll need it."

Shadow cleared his throat. "Hurry up."

Rouge rolled her eyes before smiling at me. "Can't wait for the party!"

When I heard a clatter from the living room, I could only pray that today would go smoothly.

* * *

"Where's dad?" I was expecting one of the twins to ask this, but they were too busy having fun. As they should be, but still. If they were oblivious to him not being here, then that meant I had no reason to be upset. And I _wasn't_, but still! I turned to my oldest as I poured a bag of chips in a bowl.

"Making the world a better place, I guess." I handed it to him. "Put it on the snack table, okay?"

"Are you trying to distract me, mom?" the boy said, folding his arms. I almost rolled my eyes. Ansel was only six, yet he was almost the spitting image of his father in both mentality and appearance. The only difference was his jade eyes, which he narrowed at me. "You seem dismayed."

"Dismayed?" I considered his words. "What did I tell you about reading the dictionary for fun?"

His expression didn't shift.

"_Fine._ I guess I'm feeling dismayed."

"That's understandable." He pulled me into a hug, pressing his head against my stomach. I patted his head as he pulled out a card. "Happy birthday."

I hugged him harder, before crouching to kiss his forehead. "God, I love you."

* * *

"Good to see you've raised a momma's boy," Sonic said as Ansel ran off to play with the kids.

And when I said, "ran off" I meant I forced him to go. But when I said, "play", I didn't expect him to stand awkwardly like a statue while the others danced with Bozo the Clown/DJ (*cough* Tails *cough*). Sonic laughed when Serena, his six year old, pulled the boy into a hug and he blushed madly.

"_Aww_, they like each other," he teased.

I rolled my eyes. "You know Shadow would kill you before he'd let that happen," I replied, taking a sip from my bottle of water. "I mean, seriously. No one would find your body." Sonic shook his head, laughing harder.

"I'm still trying to figure out how _you two_ happened."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. You and Shadow…It's so out there that it's kind of perfect."

I pouted. "If it's so perfect, why isn't he here?"

"It's the sporadic nature of our work." He shrugged again, and as much as I wanted to yell at him for taking my marriage lightly, I knew he was right. "Not all of us can be boring lawyers."

"I happen to _like_ being a boring lawyer."

He scoffed. "Sure you do—" Just then a catchy ringtone cut through the air. "Speak of the devil. I have to go. Sally and I will pick up the kids in a few."

"Alright."

I surveyed the party landscape. The event was in full-throttle; children littered the backyard, which looked like an explosion of colors from the bouncy house, to the streamers and the confetti. It was a beautiful sight to see, especially with the weather being so cooperative. It was sunny, but not overwhelming, and a gentle fall breeze swept over us every so often. I watched the twins in the bouncy house with some of their school friends until I felt my phone vibrate.

My heart leaped until I saw whom it was from. Clarissa.

It wasn't that I _wasn't_ happy about it. After all, she texted me 'happy birthday' and a group photo of her and Parker, and her seven and five year olds April and Ash. Next to them were Phil and Fran. They were on a family vacation. Happy. Yet, I couldn't remember the last time my family went on vacation. Shadow and I didn't even have a honeymoon. It was "canceled". And I didn't think it took much to guess why.

"You never told me it would be this hard!" At first I thought it was the universe pleading on my behalf. Then I was ambushed with a hug. Or what was attempting to be a hug. Cream was due in a month, and her stomach was more than aware of that.

"It'll be over soon," I assured her. She shook her head.

"I mean, I can't even drink! And Tails doesn't drink anyway so he thinks I'm being unreasonable."

"You're always unreasonable." I smirked.

"_Ha._"

"Anyway, where's Shadow?" she said, attempting to fold her arms over her protruding belly. "I mean, all this kid music is killing me too, but you don't see me running to work."

"You can't run anywhere," I said, patting her stomach. "Do you know what the gender is?"

She shook her head, but smiled. "Try gender_s_."

My eyes widened. "Twins?"

She grinned harder. "Triplets."

Before we could spaz out like a bunch of girl-moms, Blaze came into view. She looked happier than usual. We narrowed our eyes at her playfully. "What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing much." She turned to her twins who had already made it on the dance floor area, and Silver who was talking to Knuckles. When his eyes found Blaze, he waved at us. She lifted up a bag. "Amy, can you help me wrap this in the kitchen? I don't want the twins to see."

I turned to Cream. "Could you supervise for a second?"

Before she could object, we fled into the kitchen.

It was sort of nice getting away, even if it was only thirty feet. I took it as a cue to bring the cake out of the fridge. "You want to help decorate it?" I asked my friend. "You're much more artistic than me."

"It's cake." She laughed. "As long as there's frosting and it tastes good, I think the little ones will be pleased."

I smiled as I wrote out my son and daughter's names on the cake. As expected, it looked like crap. "Are you sure I shouldn't just buy something real quickly from the store?"

"It doesn't look that bad."

"If you say so."

I smirked and looked out at the window. There, I saw Violet and Sloan talking about something. Or rather, Sloan whispering something in Violet's ear. She laughed.

"Do you think they'll be best friends like us?"

"They better be." Blaze's eyes were gleaming. I didn't mean to make the moment overly sentimental. It was a simple question. But I knew the implications were great, beyond the children themselves.

"There isn't a day that I don't feel blessed to have them." She shook her head. "I know, they're almost eight, and I'm being a broken record about it. But I still can't believe you did that for me. I can't believe I have you in my life."

"You're giving me too much credit." I pulled her into a hug. "I love you, Blaze. And I'd do anything for you, you know that."

She held on tight, nodding. "I love you too. And I'd do anything for my sister." We stayed like that for a moment until Blaze jumped up, clasping her hands.

"Which is why I got you this." She presented the small bag to me. "It's for the twins, too. Well, technically." She smirked.

Like an excited child, I cut through the decorative paper and gift-wrapping. When I saw it, my eyes widened. "Are you sure this isn't for you?"

She nodded. "You need it more than me. Who said you can't enjoy your birthday just because you have kids?"

"But it's so sudden." I found myself pursing my lips. "I don't know if—"

"_Everything _is sudden," she assured me. "And trust me, you can't keep it a secret for too long. Otherwise you'll regret it."

I rolled my eyes. "Said the Queen of Darkness and Secrets herself." She shrugged.

"It's not a secret if you can't prove it." She got me there. So there was only one thing left to do.

I lifted up the cake that looked like it was designed by the very five-year-olds we were celebrating.

"Now let's go have some cake."

* * *

If it were possible to have your cake and eat it too, I think I'd be in a slightly better mood.

"Why does it look so funny?" Salem asked, blinking his father's crimson eyes at me. I laughed as I ruffled his fur.

"Because mommy's uncoordinated." It was Sloan's turn to laugh. The kids gathered around, and we sang happy birthday. Candles were blown, cake was shared out, and then they were back to harassing Bozo the Clown. Well, everyone but Sloan.

"When's daddy going to be here?" I hated the look she was giving me. It was weird, how much she looked like him, too. All of my kids were their father's children. And he wasn't here.

I smiled before picking her up. "He should be here soon." My glance went to the window as I smoothed her dark grey fur. It was late afternoon, with an hour left of the party. So much for a few hours. I set her down, kissing her cheek. "Go play with your friends." With a nod she delved into the backyard.

"Are we late?"

I spun around, and my eyes glued onto Fiona with a young boy and girl in hand. They were around the twin's age, five or four, but I always forgot which one was older. I smiled at my guests.

"Not at all."

The woman breathed a slight sigh of relief. "Fallon and Shiloh had tennis camp, so I apologize for running late. And Sage is in an important soccer match. But he really wanted to come."

I shrugged. "No worries. I'll make sure to wrap some cake and treats for him."

"Thanks." We walked into the sunroom, and I set her gift against the others. "How are the others doing?"

"_I'm_ exhausted," I said, humoring her. "But everyone seems to be having a good time." By "everyone" I meant the children. All of the adults had fled over an hour ago. So I was basically just an over-the-top, free babysitter.

"How's your husband?"

"Distant." I didn't know why I was being so honest with her. I guess we weren't super gal pals or anything, but we had come to the mutual understanding that we'd support each other if anyone needed it. And right now I needed someone over ten to talk to. I wrinkled my nose before changing the subject. "How's _your_ husband?"

"At the soccer match with Sage." She smiled as she watched the kids play tag. "He likes to 'pretend' that he's the coach. But the team would be useless without him."

"Not to pry, but how did you and Scourge get back together?" I said. Part of me regretted asking, but maybe it was because I was bored to tears. Happy to be celebrating my children's birthday, but still bored to tears. "I mean, Shadow was beyond difficult for a while. But I guess I was worse than him. I don't know, sometimes I wonder how I ended up with anyone." When Fiona grinned, I took it as a good sign.

"Trust me, I'm _way_ more difficult than the two of you combined," she said with a snicker. "I mean, Scourge is infuriating as hell too, but you're so much more understanding than me. When I was pregnant with Sage, even up to a few years after we had him, I was acting like a victim. I never wanted to be a mother, and there I was, stuck with this needy kid that I didn't know if I was cut out to take care of." Her icy eyes fell to the ground.

"But the custody case really was the final wake up call. I hate to give you credit for it, but I really needed someone to show me that I had this wonderful, beautiful child in my life," she continued, "So I got over my issues and pushed myself to be the best mother and person I could be. Sometimes when you love people, you push them away. Once I stopped, it all fell into place." She smiled. "And I have you to thank for that."

I patted her hand. "There are things that wouldn't have happened in my life had we not crossed paths. Some of it was hard, but most of it was beyond worthwhile. I'm not the only one who should be thanked."

Fiona pursed her lips. "This is a children's party for Pete's sake. I didn't come here to start balling like a baby."

I could sense I was being overly sentimental as well, but part of me didn't mind it. For one thing, I was beyond exhausted. And for the other, I had learned that being vulnerable didn't always make you weak. Sometimes it was the only thing that could drive you forward.

"You look tired as hell." I was half surprised that Blaze said this, but mostly because I didn't see her come in. She set a bag of ice cream on the counter. "They're beating up Tails because we ran out." I turned to the backyard; saw a group of kids wailing on him. I knew I had to stop it, but it was the most amusing thing that had happened all afternoon.

"Why don't you go lie down for a second?" Fiona said, pulling up the sleeves of her shirt. "Blaze and I will handle it."

"No. I'm fine—" But when Fiona pushed me on the couch, my body rejected movement. I nestled against the cushions, hating myself a little. "Fine. Don't let me fall asleep."

"Your wish is our command." I swear I could hear them laughing. But like my consciousness, it quickly slipped past me.


	37. Epilogue (Part II)

**Seven Years Later…Part II **

I woke with a start.

But for some reason, it wasn't because the brainless-kiddy-birthday-bash music was on too loud. It was because everything was silent. I rose to my feet. And it was dark as fuck outside.

_Shit._

"Kids?" I fought the urge to smack my face with my hand. I had one job. Throw a party. _For children_. And I couldn't even do that—

I moved from the sunroom, skimmed the backyard. The floodlight was on, but I couldn't see anyone or anything. Not even the bouncy house. My eyes widened as I ran into the house. It was immaculate and empty. So I did what all sane people would do in my situation.

I ran outside screaming.

"Is anyone here!?" I turned to my watch. Nine thirty?! I gritted my teeth. Whatever sick joke this was, it had to end. Right now. By the time I made it to the backyard, I was heaving like a mad woman. "Why the hell didn't anyone wake me—"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

A million lights came on at once. I'd like to say that reality was blinding, but it was just sort of annoying. I almost punched Sonic when he pulled me into a hug.

"You thought we'd all forget, didn't you?" He offered me his signature lop-sided grin, but I still wanted to punch him. When he handed me a glass of wine, the urge died down. Until I took a sip.

"_Sparkling _wine?"

He shrugged. "Hey, I don't know if you're…you know."

"What he _means_ to say is happy birthday!" Sally said, elbowing him in the ribs. "Though you should thank Blaze and Fiona, they're the one's who organized everything."

"And where are they?"

"Right here!" The two brought out a cheesecake with a glowing candle. Although I was sick of all things sugar, I couldn't help but salivate slightly at the sight. They set it down on the patio table.

"I know it must have been a hassle dealing with the twins party on your special day," Blaze said, handing me a knife. "But we want you to know that you mean the world to us. Isn't that right, guys?"

The group cheered and my heart swelled. "Wow, I don't know what to say."

"Just make a wish," Fiona said, rubbing my shoulder. I sighed.

"I don't know, I was really hoping Shadow and Rouge would be here by now."

"Rouge said that they're just getting back from the agency," Knuckle's said, peering at his phone. "I'd give them half an hour if nothing else pops up."

"Did you want to wait?" Cream then asked. "I mean, it's not a big deal."

But it _was_ a big deal. I mean, I was glad that the mission apparently went okay, but they said they'd be back hours ago. Prolonging the event just seemed unfair to everyone—

"I see headlights!" Cream then cheered. Because I was desperate, I rushed over to the front of the house. But when I saw Scourge step out of his SUV, my heart fell. He raised a brow.

"Why do you look like you want to kill me?" He offered me a devious smirk. "I thought we had already gotten past that."

"_Ha._" I folded my arms. "I thought you were Shadow."

His face spoiled. "Please. Everyone knows I'm _way _better looking." I heard Fiona laugh before she pulled him into a death hug.

"Stop bothering Amy. It's her birthday."

"Of course I know that." He offered me a gift bag and a small hug. "So where's the party? Or are your friends really boring as fuck?"

"_Scourge_."

Fiona offered me an apologetic look before leading him into the backyard. I had to admit, he did liven up the space. Music was turned up, and conversation filled the air. I looked down at the half-eaten cake. Even though I didn't feel particularly unhappy, I knew that there was something wrong when I didn't want to eat cheesecake. But I was still deciding who the culprit of my sore feelings was. Naturally, I blamed exhaustion; for some odd reason I was still tired.

However, I had no idea what I was tired of.

* * *

I sipped on a beer, and relished in the small buzz that washed over me. Huh, I didn't remember being such a lightweight. But as I skimmed over my phone, and saw no word from Shadow, I instantly felt weighed down. Part of me felt tempted to ask him when exactly he thought he'd be back—after all, Rouge was being commutative. But I knew that prying wouldn't make him come home any sooner. And this feeling of being powerless…I think that's what had to be bumming me out.

"You look bummed out." Again, I was surprised Blaze hadn't said this. The party was well into an hour in, and I knew pretty soon everyone would be leaving. This was a social gathering more than a party, and for some odd reason I didn't care to be social. I shrugged as I watched Tails and Cream do the robot to a techno dance. When Scourge cleared his throat, I snapped out of my trance. "Spill."

"You know that I _don't _have to tell you anything, right?" There was hardly any bite in my tone, but I wasn't being completely nice either, I guess. Scourge and I had been on good terms for years now. I could be open with him. Couldn't I?

"I guess not. But you and I both know people always regret not getting things off their chest. Especially when someone specifically asks if you want to get things off your chest." His icy eyes pierced through mine. "If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be as happy as I am now with Fiona and the kids. Just let me see if I can help. Pretend like you owe me that."

"Alright," I said, taking another swig. "All those years ago, when Shadow reached out to you on my behalf, what did he say? What did _you_ say?"

I thought he would look taken back, but he just shrugged before leaning back against his chair. "He said that he was lucky he didn't castrate me for what I had done to you. And that I should 'summon up those balls' to reach out to you and properly end it." He shook his head. "Sage was only a month plus then, and I was looking for someone to pin my frustrations on, so I cursed him out. Then I asked him if he loved you."

"And what did he say?"

Scourge pursed his lips. "He didn't have to say anything. I could see it in his eyes."

"I think that's probably the most frustrating thing about being with someone like him though," he then said, stretching his arms out with a yawn. "You can sense that his feelings or passions are there, abundant even, but he does a shitty job of showing it. And when you're married, it's like you're supposed to be completely in sync with your partner, but you two are a little off beat."

My eyes narrowed. "How so?"

"You can be needy but independent at the same time, and he's so reclusive and rational that his sense of compassion basically gets lost in translation." He shrugged. "But he loves you. Like _really_ loves you. And you know that. So lighten up and enjoy your damn party."

"Okay…" I said in a fake whine. "Since when did you become so insightful?"

"Kids will do that to you."

Funny, because I always thought motherhood was the final pillar to becoming a well-adjusted being. But I was still the same—I'd probably always be the same. And I wasn't perfect. Neither was Shadow. And the more I expected perfection, the more likely I'd end up depressing myself. Like now.

I turned to the group; saw the girls dancing without a care to a catchy pop tune, and the other guys in a deep discussion (probably about something pointless) at the table over. I grinned.

"Did Sage's team win the game?" He returned my grin.

"He smoked those little bastards."

* * *

It was almost twelve when I wrapped up the festivities.

"Now, you don't have to go home, but you have to get the hell out of here."

The group groaned playfully.

"Fine. I didn't want to pay the sitter for another hour anyway," Knuckles said, shaking his head. "That is, if Ruby hasn't killed her."

"The only person I'm killing is anyone who thinks they're leaving!" Just then Rouge flew into the space like it was her party. She landed on one of the tables and pointed at me. "Tell me, what do you want birthday girl?!"

"For you to get down from the table?" I said, moving toward her. "Those sheets are expensive."

"You can't put a price on love," she said like we were talking about the same thing. "Now someone fetch me all of the wine and vodka you can find."

"She becomes even more of an egomaniac when we have a successful mission." When I spun around, an arm wrapped around my waist. When I looked up, I saw Shadow. He tilted my head up, pecking my lips. "My apologies for running so late."

My mouth opened to respond, until Sonic started clapping in a slow, taunting manner.

"Wow, I never thought I'd live to see you show PDA."

Shadow turned over his shoulder, offering a sinister smile. "If you don't want to live, that can easily be arranged."

Sonic shrugged before throwing Shadow a beer. "How'd it go, faker?"

"Pretty well, faker."

I rolled my tired eyes before turning to Rouge. "Party's over."

She stared at me with pouted lips for what seemed like an eternity until she sighed. "Good. I'm exhausted as hell."

"I think everyone can speak to that." I helped her from the table and led her into the kitchen. "Are you hungry?"

"_Yes_." she followed me like she was a lost child. "Shadow wouldn't let me eat fast food on the way here…"

I laughed before turning to him. "Go ahead and mingle. I'm going to check on the kids. Rouge included." He gave me an I-detest-mingling look, but Rouge brushed it off by sticking out her tongue out at him.

When were in the kitchen, I boxed up everything she could have wanted; I even sacrificed two bottles of wine. She looked like she was about to cry.

"You know me so well…" she sniffled playfully. "So well, that you probably know what I'm about to say next."

I raised a brow. "…That you want more cake?"

She rolled her eyes. "No. That I'm planning on retiring. Well, technically I'm just cutting back on fieldwork. I think I'll be working as a director for the agency."

My eyes widened. "But you love sleuthing! Why now?"

"It's nothing in particular, I just know that I've been lucky to not have to miss too many birthdays and important events because of my missions. The world's always going to be a shitty place, so I'm not going to sacrifice the rest of my youth just to keep its shitiness at bay."

"Does Shadow know?"

Rouge uncorked one of the wine bottles with her mouth and took a sip before shrugging. "He will eventually." She took another gulp, not even wincing. "This is _really _good wine."

"Thanks."

"But there is something else I wanted to let you know, in case you're up for it."

My ears perked up. "Is it really that bad?"

She smirked. "I'd like to think of it as an opportunity."

* * *

With Rouge's prospect in mind, I said my goodbyes to the group.

"Tell Shady I said good night," Scourge smirked.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that." I turned over my shoulder, saw Shadow come into view. He surprisingly didn't look particularly tired, but I could tell that the brief minutes of mingling probably exhausted him more.

Fiona rolled her eyes before pinching Scourge's cheek. "Good night."

"Thanks again!" I waved as the last of our guests left. Then that was that. The chime on our grandfather clock confirmed it. It was midnight and another day had passed. Shadow shut the door before turning toward me.

"I swear, Sonic and Scourge are two sides of the same repulsive coin."

I laughed. "Let's go to bed."

"Dad?" I looked up; saw our three children lined up at the top of the staircase. Yes, the sight was adorable as hell—but when they took no time leaping at him, I literally had to catch Salem in my arms.

"You're supposed to be sleeping," I sighed, pursing my lips at the boy. He nuzzled his nose against mine before wrestling out of my grip and tackling his father.

"How was the party?" Shadow said, somehow pulling all three of them in a hug. They spoke a million words per minute, but they were all positive.

"It was fun!" Ansel replied.

"Just make sure you're at our next party," Sloan said kissing his cheek. "Or I won't let you have any cake!"

Shadow laughed. "I'm afraid you're going to have to come up with something more tempting."

"Fine." She crossed her arms. "No kisses from me _or_ mommy!"

His eyes, suddenly scheming, fell against mine. "Alright. That would break me." He picked up the girl.

"Now let's go to bed."

* * *

It took another hour to get them in bed.

But because they were so taken with Shadow, I eventually took it as a cue to take a shower. By the time I stepped out he was just coming in.

"I would have joined you."

"No worries," I said, sliding on my nightdress. I patted the bed. "You're tired. You can tell me all about your day tomorrow."

"It is tomorrow."

I frowned. "Was there something you wanted to say?"

He moved across the room, his eyes filled with longing and desire. His fingertips brushed over my shoulders, sliding my straps past them. I sucked in a hiss, breathing him in as my chest pressed against his; my hands moved along his strong back. I tilted my head against his, watched his eyes narrow as his lips moved closer to mine.

"Not with words."

I was the first to attack, kissing him wildly, hungrily. He took no time picking me up and pressing me down on the bed. He slid off my gown; I slid off his shirt. My hands glided against his chest, his shoulders, before stopping at his lower stomach. Prying off his belt, I zipped down his pants, freeing his erection. He hissed when my hands began to rub it.

"You like that?" He released an airy groan, and I felt his chest heave against mine. It wasn't fair to tease him, but I released him when he was hard and pulsing. My lips brushed against his, and his tongue ran along the flesh of my lower lip, before he suckled it between his teeth. My brain surged when he kissed me powerfully, hands tilting my head back as he dragged his teeth along my chin, its underside, my neck. His tongue then slid down it with one hard, vertical lick.

My eyes shot open, watering at the intensity. "_S-Shadow_."

But I had called his name too soon. His hands were up to no good, and had already invaded me. I moaned louder than I wanted to when he circled my clitoris, before diving deeper, petting my walls. I tried to breathe, but he took my breath away when he stroked me harder…faster. My hands balled against his back as I tried to ride against his slick fingers. But it was too much. My insides writhed with pleasure, and I gasped before collapsing against the mattress, squirming, cumming. He was a blur in my spotty vision, but I could still see him smirking. His hands were soothing, and they moved upward, snaking past my hips, stopping at my breasts. He thumbed my nipples and they hardened. Then his lips found them and he sucked in, shattering my thoughts. I arched my back, biting my lip.

"_Mmmm…_" I moved my legs restlessly against his, grinding against his length. He chuckled lightly before kissing me again, and I drank him up as his fingers danced along my hips, before holding me firmly. He looked down at me, his eyes a striking balance between lust and love.

"I adore you," Shadow said, before kissing my neck, my lips, again softly. I rubbed my hands along his arms before clawing them against his back. He hissed as I tongued his ear.

"Then make me scream your name."

The smirk was back. "But the children are sleeping."

However, he accepted my invitation and thrusted into me. My toes curled from the intensity; my eyes closed as a surge of euphoria rippled through my loins. I clutched onto him as he plunged in and out slowly, teasing me, savoring me. But it was too much for him too. He bit down on my shoulder to keep from howling.

I was mesmerized by the rhythm of his hips, and I quickly matched mine to his. It was probably a futile effort, because I knew I couldn't keep up without losing it. I planted kisses along his neck, his chest, his shoulders—anything and everything to encourage him. He licked my lips in approval, interlocked his hands with mine in our heat of ardor. He rolled his hips against mine, swirling my insides, driving me mad. In a moment he made contact with my G-spot, and my eyes threatened to roll out of my head.

"_Yes._" I beat my hands against his back lightly. "_D-Don't stop_…"

He picked up his pace, plunging deeper…harder…faster. He breathed me in before taking hold of my wrists, pressing them down on the mattress. It was a power move, and with it he lessened his pace. I squirmed underneath him, desperate for my second release. "…_S-Stop teasing me_."

I hated how much control he had; I hated how much I loved the devious look in his eyes, as he considered my request. "Then tell me what you want."

I glared at him with lust-glazed eyes as he continued his slow, sweet torture. Words tried to form, but my mind was in a haze. Too bothered to bother thinking. So I sucked along his jaw line, moaning and sending vibrations along his mussel. I wanted to rile him up as much as he riled up me, but he only chuckled, as if they were simply semi-erotic tickles. "You'll have to do better than that."

I pushed against him, pressing my chest harder against his. I had nothing to offer, so I shifted downward, and gave the same treatment to his neck. My hands freed themselves from his grip; buried themselves through his quills as I thrusted upward, against him again. He clenched his eyes close as if to savor the sensation, and with a small groan, he reopened them—and his attention was mine, and mine only.

Shadow plunged deeper, and I felt my muscles tighten against him. A curse slid of his lips as he pulled my hips back into him. I gasped when he made contact with my bud…repeatedly. My hands latched against his back again for leverage, and I felt his muscles lock and relax with each thrust. In. Out. Fast. Faster. I tried to find a rhythm, but there wasn't one. Then he plunged as deep as he could, and I lost it.

"_Shadow_!"

Before the world could hear me utter his name again, he sealed his lips over mine, muffling out my moaning. He kissed me hard, before thrusting one final time. He grunted before calling out my name. "_Rose_."

My entire body was tingling when he pulled me against him. I pressed my head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It steadied me as I panted, my hot breath trickling against it. He soothed me with a kiss on my temple, and I looked up at him. His eyes were glazed but satisfied, and he was smiling, even if it was only slight.

"We _needed_ that," I said, drawing invisible circles on his chest. He stroked my free hand.

"We need to go on vacation."

Despite how spent I was, I almost jumped out of bed. I turned to face him. "_Really_? Are you sure you and Blaze aren't telepathic?" He raised a brow at me.

I began with a sigh. "Blaze bought us tickets to Gardenia Island. It's set a week from today. I mean, I know it's short notice, but we never know when another mission will pop up or when I'll get plastered with work. We've been delaying vacationing since before the kids were born." I was rambling, but I was pretty sure I was making a good point. "Come on…it'll be a great excuse to keep doing this..." I pressed my lip to his ear. "Imagine if we could be as loud as we wanted..."

"I would enjoy that." Shadow squeezed my hand. "But not before I give you this." He shifted from the bed, moved to the nightstand and pulled out a crystal pendent. My eyes widened.

"You didn't forget?" I didn't know why I felt so emotional. Tears stained my eyes, but he didn't spare a moment wiping them away.

"I could never find the right timing," he said as he secured the chain around my neck, "but I apologize for the delay. It technically isn't your birthday anymore."

I shook my head. "I don't care about my birthday. I just care that I have a family that cares." I kissed him softly on the lips. "And I do. Thank you so much, Shadow."

He nodded. "But you're right."

His response took me slightly off guard, but I decided to go along with it. "…Of course I'm right."

"I meant about delaying things," he replied, brushing a hand through my quills. "I'm tired of not being present. Yesterday was the twin's birthday—_your_ birthday. When I put Sloan to bed tonight, she said she wanted to be just like me. That's not a bad thing, but you're a greater influence than me. You're more remarkable than me." Even in the darkness, his crimson eyes burned brightly. "They should want to be like you."

"Are you kidding me?" I shook my head. "They would be out of their mind _not_ to worship you. You constantly put your life on the line. I knew there would be some sacrifices because of the nature of our lives, but the children aren't worse for it."

"But they're growing," he sighed. "Especially Ansel. He has created a decent poker-face, but I could sense how devastated he was when I missed his orchestra performance." He paused. "Please remind me why the hell our boy is a violinist?"

I scoffed. "Try _first_ violinist."

"Fair enough," he considered. "But it is still unfair to them. Furthermore, it is even more unfair to you."

"I've always managed."

"I don't want you to be forced to 'manage' anything. I want us to be a proper family."

My mouth quivered. "Then what are you proposing?"

"I'll set hours to my liking—impending threat or not," he contemplated, looking at the window. "Maybe I'll train the damn monkeys who work there to do something for themselves. Or I could just retire. I'm tired of being tired."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Are you even tired right now?"

"That's aside from the point."

"It's funny," I said, feeling exhaustion wash over me. "Rouge was singing the same tune earlier this evening."

"Was she?"

I nodded. "And I support either of your decisions, but only under one condition."

"And what is that, my love?" He kissed my hand.

"Rouge said there's an opening as a legal analyst at the agency…and I'm taking it." I half expected him to object, but the look in his eyes told me that he wanted an explanation for my rationale. But I was too tired to rationalize anything. "I want to know more about what you do." I kissed his chest. "I want to appreciate you more."

"I'm the one who should be saying that. You know I will encourage whatever you want to do." His hand cupped my cheek, and he stroked it softly with his thumb. "You are my everything."

"As you are to me." I moved closer to Shadow's face, studied his expression. Happiness was an emotion he once never wore readily. But on this day, his smile was pure. Genuine. I matched it before sleep washed over me, and I found peace in his loving embrace. He was mine; I was his. Life was finally a dream.

And I had no intention of waking up.


	38. Q & A

My apologies if some of my responses seem redundant. A few of the questions were revised to cut down on this. However, although I'm presenting the questions in the order they were asked, I did answer some out of order (because I love making sense), so I apologize again for any redundancy. Thanks again, and I hope I answered them to your liking. If you still have any questions, feel free to PM/review. I can even update this page. :)

* * *

**Cozy Shadow **

**1\. Why did you structure the series the way you did? I know that_ Sleeping_ and _Dozing_ didn't have up to twenty chapters, but _Waking_ has over thirty. Are you happy with how it turned out, or is there anything you would have done differently? **

In my personal experiences of reading book series, I've always felt that since each book expands on its precursor, it is impossible for the later books to be shorter than the first book. So when writing, I had it in mind that each sequel had to be a little longer. I think _Sleeping_ was 60k (ignoring ANs), so _Dozing_ ended up being 65k. With that, I was like, "Cool, _Waking_ will be like 70k," but when I started writing it, the chapters were coming out shorter, so I knew there would have to be more. Then I had the grand idea of making it two parts. The first part was like 35k, so I was like, "Cool, we're literally halfway there," but then the second part ended up being longer. Since it was the final story, there were all these things (including the epilogue) I had to add to wrap it all up, which definitely contributed to the length.

Overall, I'm very pleased with how it all turned out, and at the moment, I can't think of how I'd redo it (maybe I'd just re-edit for grammar). It was a valuable learning experience, and I'm glad it came out as well as it did.

**Angelinx**

**2\. How long were you in the fandom when you decided to write this?**

I grew up with the fandom (particularly the video-games), by mostly watching my brothers' play pretty much every Sonic game that came out. I remember playing _Sonic Adventure 2 Battle_ and going on missions to work on my chao garden, watching _Sonic X,_ and playing _Sonic Heroes_ (I always played as Team Chaotix for some reason…). My older siblings read Sonic fan fiction, so I quickly followed suit, and ever since then, it's the only fandom I read. I don't really read that much fan fiction now, but I've always had a soft spot for it. Even now that I'm 20, I still have mad love for the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise. I've been severely out of touch with it because life demands to be difficult, but it will always be dear to my heart.

**MistyVoid48**

**3\. Does everyone else find out (about the baby)? What will Silver and Shadow think? Will they take it badly? What does Fiona think? **

Never! Lol, this is one of the questions I'll get to during my _Final Thoughts_ reflection later. The short answer would be that some find out, and some don't. But you know that! And what you don't know doesn't hurt you. _Usually._

**4\. Do you hate lawyers like Erickson? **

Nope! I'm in love with the law show _Drop Dead Diva_ and the _Ace Attorney _videogame series, and I was on the debate team in high school. I even took a law class in high school. I like the idea of law and being a lawyer, but I'm more of a science/writer type. :)

**5\. Are you in law school too? If not what do you study? Did you go straight to a four-year or did you do a two-year first and then four year? Do you like it? What's it like? Do you live in a dorm or at home? **

I'm not in law school, but I always thought the idea of being a lawyer had to be cooler than actually being one! I studied biochemistry at a four-year university and graduated a year early (precisely why I now have time to sit around on my bum and write lol). As of right now, I have a gap year, so I have been going on interviews for graduate school programs that I can hopefully attend next fall, and between that time I also do research. I liked my college, but I was never in love with the college experience to begin with, which is probably why I graduated in three years (blame AP credits lol). But during my time there, I did live in a dorm (very convienent). Now I'm helping my family move into a new house.

**6\. What is your favorite part of the story or rather the entire trilogy? **

Hmmm…I really like the chapters toward the end of _Dozing _where Shadow is helping Amy seek out Scourge. Between that and Rouge's wedding in the background, I think it's a really cool chance to see Amy and Shadow's relationship grow, and I think here you see how much they genuinely care for each other. I also enjoy the little, unplanned things that "work" in the series, such as Phil having a son who's a doctor who later plays a role in helping Amy grow up and in delivering the twins, Erickson the lawyer also ending up as Fiona's lawyer, Fiona ending up to be decent, Sonic and Amy beginning a bro/sis relationship…Rouge being Amy's advocate to date Shadow…Phil ending up with Fran...the dynamic between Clarissa and Blaze as well as their simillaries and differences as being Amy's best friends…I just love the things that elevate the story that were never intended.

**Guest (Fairly Odd Me?)**

**7\. Did you always conceptualize _Sleeping_ as a trilogy? **

Not even a little! I didn't even think the first story would be more than 5 or 10 chapters. I imagined Amy seeing Sonic and Sally shacking, her going to the bar, hooking up with Scourge, something else happening really quickly maybe, and then the story concluding with Amy having this new sense of empowerment before possibly engaging in a friends with benefits deal with Scourge. I imagined it feeling very one-shotish but with more chapters. However, there are so many characters, so once you give one a little bit of attention (say Shadow or Blaze or Parker), all of a sudden you have more storylines and material to work in, despite not initially wanting to make the story into a big deal. This story/series was really organic and came together very effortlessly in a way, and I guess this fact made it appealing to keep going on as a trilogy.

**8\. What inspired you to write the first part, and then continue on with _Dozing_ and _Waking_? **

It's a little hard to pinpoint the reasoning now (however, I think I answer this question in my response to question #13 since it is similar and I wrote my response to that question first for some reason lol), but I think the inspiration was due to having a fascination with how ScourgeXAmy could pan out in a realistic way. I'm weird, and after reading a fanfic about them one night, I had a dream about them kissing, and my mind started surging with ideas. I kept thinking about it until I just started writing, and somehow it all came together. Writing in Amy's perspective and having the desire to create a story where she isn't in love with Sonic definitely maintained the initial spark, and when I was done with the first story, I just knew I had to tell more. After _Sleeping_, I knew the series could be a trilogy, but the only thing I had figured out was that Scourge left her because he had a kid with Fiona (which wouldn't even occur until the final installment!). Part of me doesn't know how this whole thing came together, but I honestly believe it's because all of you gave me so much valuable feedback. And I'm incredibly thankful.

**9\. What's the meaning behind the titles of each story? **

The titles essentially have multiple meanings, with the first title, _Sleeping_, probably having the most meaning. In _Sleeping_, we have Amy at her most ignorant, which is sort of symbolic to the actual idea of sleeping—not being present or really aware of what's going on around you. Add in the fact that she walked in on Sonic and Sally "sleeping" together, and the fact that she does "sleep" with someone for the first time, makes it sort of ironic in a way. The rest of the titles symbolize Amy's figurative transition from "sleeping" to "waking". For example, in _Dozing_, Amy is not much better than she was in the first story, just that she is forced to be more conscious of the impact of the decisions she made in the past. So she's basically still "asleep" but her eyes are half open. That just leaves _Waking_, where Amy has to finally "wake up" – she has to sacrifice her ignorance and complacency—in order to take the important steps to be fully present and happy with her reality.

**10\. Which parts of the story were the most difficult to write? Which parts of the story are your favorites?**

I write in chronological order (with the exception of taking short notes for things I plan on happening later), so it's definitely hard to get through filler-ish/build up material. As much as I want exciting things to happen, like the hook up between Amy and Scourge in _Sleeping _(chapter 9), the wedding/Scourge confrontation in _Dozing _(chapter 14-15), or even just waiting for Shadow or Scourge to appear in _Waking _(Chapter 13 and 20 respectively), I had to build up the plot and characterization. And because of my over-reactive imagination, I usually end up adding more things or delaying certain appearances or events to try to balance the story. But if I'm being more specific, I think it was really hard getting Amy/Shadow's angle down in _Waking_. When you write a series, let alone a fanfic, you get sort of trapped with what you have written in a way because you are publishing material chapter-by-chapter. Although I rewrote the ending of _Sleeping_ (because it was a trainwreck lol), I didn't want to rewrite _Dozing_ because there were no significant issues, other than it being a little rushed (I think one of the things I need to work on as a writer is pacing, particularly at the end of stories, but I digress), so it was hard to find a reason why they couldn't initially be together in _Waking _based on how I ended _Dozing_. It seemed like they could have just talked it out and everything could have been more than fine between them, but I really had to dig deep into their characters, which made me realize that the clash between their emotions/mentality alone in terms of relationships/love at the time was a significant barrier, even without Mina. In this same respect, it was hard to support why Amy and Scourge _couldn't_ be together because of the case.

But the hardest thing was probably supporting why Blaze didn't tell Silver about using Amy as a surrogate. I'm a science person, so I like tangible reasons; but again, the reason had to do with Blaze's emotions/mentality. However, with her being this strong character, I didn't completely feel like I justified it. But then I remembered that characters are allowed to respond to things in a multitude of ways. You can essentially make characters do anything, but you have to be true to their motivations and the steps they would take in performing that action, and I think I was ultimately true to Blaze in her situation.

As for my favorite part, I'll answer this by telling you my favorite story of the three. Although I don't have a particular love or distaste for any story (although I wish the writing was stronger in _Sleeping_), I think I have a soft spot for _Dozing_. In this story we see Amy at a very tragic state, and to think of who she is then to who she is at the end of the series is really heartwarming. I feel that the story has the best of _Sleeping _and _Waking_ in terms of its simplicity and execution respectively. _Waking_ is obviously the best written and the most impressive to me plot-wise, but it doesn't make me feel quite as sentimental. But since I just wrote it, I'm sure these feelings will change. :)

**xXDarkAngelKittenXx**

**11\. Did you plan on making any kind of spin-off/one-shot(s) for the series? Like Blaze and the twins? Or Fiona and Scourge? Maybe even the kids all grown up?**

If I'm being perfectly honest, I thought the whole series would have been one story (_Sleeping_), and only a few chapters at that. I'm not really a fan of spin offs or stories that are OC heavy, so I could never do a story about their kids growing up or something! Although I don't have any one-shots in mind, I would say that that _could_ be possible if something came to me. I sort of like the idea of doing one with Fiona and Scourge, but if I did a one-shot, it probably wouldn't be related to the series, since I can't imagine writing in anyone else's voice than Amy's in that context. However, if anyone has any ideas, don't be afraid to share. :)

**12\. Other than endless rants about some choices made throughout the story, was this the original ending you had or did you make any changes? Would there have been an alternate ending or something? **

The original ending…Hmmm…

Big picture, I sort of had it in mind that the story would end ShadowXAmy…_if_ I could make it more justifiable than ScourgeXAmy. It is the coupling that I sort of grew up with when reading fanfiction, and it is in many ways my favorite for reasons I can't entirely explain. But when I brought Scourge back in and they meshed so well, my brain was definitely urging me to make it ScourgeXAmy. It really was a mental battle for quite a while, and when I thought hard about it, I could never come up with any rightful conclusions. However, when I eventually said, "Fuck it," and began writing, it became a little clearer, though mainly because of Fiona. I don't think that Amy was really mad about the secret he kept (after all she kept a secret from him), I think she decided against them because she was able to empathize with Fiona and saw that she would essentially be doing the same thing she did to her if she carried out her engagement with Scourge.

_But_…then I thought about the future (say several months or a year later), and considered if Amy and Scourge could get back together then. Maybe Fiona would realize she didn't truly love Scourge, and wouldn't have a problem with them being together. I also thought about if Amy just ended up being alone (no Shadow or Scourge), and maybe even realized that the only person she really loved was Blaze and then they get together (potentially romantically), and then they raise the kids together (sometimes I wonder if my imagination is on steroids…). I even thought about Amy ending up with Sonic or Parker, but I really felt that Amy and Sonic have such a nice brother/sister relationship in this series, and with Parker being an OC, I kind of wanted him to end up with Clarissa (this wasn't intended, but once it occurred to me, I couldn't let the idea go).

So long story short? The ending wasn't intended until after I wrote _Dozing_; before then, it could have been anything. I took notes for Clarissa's wedding scene (even including her brother!) like a third of the way through _Waking_. The way I wrote the last two chapters was sort of like having two conclusions – the birth and the wedding reception with Shadow, so they are sort of like alternate endings in a way. The only true alternate ending possibility I can think of would be changing the wedding chapter so that Scourge left the rose, but I can't think of a proper epilogue. ;)

**13\. What inspired the whole series and did anything affect how you wrote it? Not just this, but the series as a whole. Any personal preference? **

I might have mentioned this in an AN in one of the other stories, but this story was mostly inspired by two things (one being more impressive than the other). First, I remember reading a story with Amy and Scourge (the name and plot escapes me), and I remember thinking that there would be NO WAY IN HELL that the pairing would happen. It seemed so weird to me. But of course, I like weird, so the concept continued to intrigue me. I thought about them being together as a couple, but I couldn't really think of a basis to implement it. So then I said, "Fuck it," again and began to write. As I began to lay the exposition and framework, I thought of our favorite cliché of Amy getting fed up with Sonic and running to the "dark side" but I made it my goal to keep them as in character as possible. So there couldn't be an outburst or fight with Sonic. Then the idea of him being with someone else came to me. Then the idea of Amy walking in on him with someone else came to me…and the _Sleeping _series was born.

As I also mentioned a thousand times earlier, this series was only planned to be a story. But I'm not really a planner when it comes to writing; I tend to have like five concepts/objectives that I know will happen (I essentially have the beginning, middle, and end in place) as I write, and the ending I had in mind for _Sleeping _demanded a sequel. And then the sequel demanded a sequel…and then the rest is history.

I didn't really plan on the story being a tribute to Amy and her personal development into adulthood (Although I'm _really_ proud that it is!), but you're literally in her head during the entire series, so I definitely had to keep that in mind while writing. You know, being true to what she would actually do, not just what I thought she should do (i.e., like try harder to be with Parker – they could have been really cute together!). Which later brought me to my second inspiration – to write an authentic ShadowXAmy story. Like I said earlier, this story was fully capable of being ScourgeXAmy, just that my own biases toward ShadowXAmy may have eventually prevailed in the end. I guess in a way, this series is sort of a homage to the ShadowXAmy stories I read several years ago. I always wanted to do it on my terms, but I knew that it wouldn't be possible by making it as straightforward, and perhaps as unrealistic, as some stories in the past did. I wanted to see what would happen if I put all of our favorite characters in character in Amy's particular situation, and I think it all worked out in the end.: )

* * *

**Final Thoughts (AKA questions you probably wanted to ask but forgot to)**

**When will you have another story out? ****_Are _****you ever going to write another story?**

I honestly can't say. In many ways I see the _Sleeping_ series as my final crusade. I started writing it as a teenager and I worked really hard on it, and I can't think of any story I could write on this platform that would trump or even be as good as it. I also can't say that I'll never write another story here, but I'd probably be more willing to collaborate or work as a beta reader for something I'm very interested in. I really want to focus on non-fanfiction stories, as this can be very niche-y in a way. I don't know if I want to be a published novelist or something, but it would be cool to maybe start experimenting with Watt-Pad or something and producing original stories. So is this the end? Probably not. But I'm still trying to decide when (and if) to begin again.

**Why are you so amazing?**

Because, duh.

**Are you a girl? **

Yes.

**Can I date you? **

As flattered as I am, I don't think that's best.

**Does Silver really ****_never _****find out?**

He allows their daughter to be named Aimee, doesn't he?

I should probably just leave you with that, but I deliberately left the ending a bit open for interpretation. I know some of you don't believe that it is possible for Silver not to find out about the surrogacy, but if you look at the little details toward the end of the story, I'm sure you can come up with almost any conclusion. Perhaps Blaze told him, but specifically said that she didn't want him to speak a word of it to Amy or the others? It makes sense for Blaze to share two big, separate secrets with Silver and Amy, two people she loves dearly. And perhaps in agreement, Silver offers a silent peace offering by naming his daughter after the selfless woman he once thought less of? Perhaps in time, Amy and Silver_ do_ find out that each other know, but by then it's water under the bridge?

Come on now, I can't tell you guys _everything_, can I?

* * *

**A Simple Send-Off **

Although I am a writer, words cannot express how great of an experience this was. I shared something truly special with all of you, and it means the world to me that it means the world to you. It may be the end, but in a way it's also a new beginning. The future is bright for all of us, and I hope you all can find something that gives you meaning and happiness.

Until we meet again,

Kosma Bandra


End file.
